The Man Who Sold the Pants (12/00-01/02) - TW David Bowie Conversation Piece

ziggfried: I had another crazy spell, and in my delirium I remembered a Star Wars site from yonks ago that amusingly altered Star Wars quotes with this word...so now I'm applying it to Dave:

DAVID BOWIE SONG TITLES THAT COULD BE IMPROVED WITH THE WORD ‘PANTS’

 Oh! You Pretty Pants
 Pants On Mars?
 Hang On To Your Pants
 Panic In Pants
 Cracked Pants
 The Prettiest Pants
 Sweet Pants
 Somebody Up There Likes Pants
 Golden Pants
 Breaking Pants
 Be My Pants
 Always Crashing In The Same Pants
 “Pants”
 The Secret Life of Pants
 Fantastic Pants
 Pants Keep Swinging
 Red Pants
 Modern Pants
 Let’s Pants
 Without Pants
 Loving The Pants
 Dancing With The Big Pants
 Magic Pants
 Chilly Pants
 As The Pants Falls Down
 Within Pants
 Never Let Pants Down
 Under The Pants
 The Pants Filthy Lesson
 Pants of Utter Destruction
 I’m Afraid Of Pants
 Thursday’s Pants
 Something In The Pants

the ethereal dawn: wow, scary. truly scary. But also very amusing

If you are intending on making this actually be a poll, take a look at the FAQ to see how to do a poll in markup!!

nekoneko: LETS PANTS, PUT ON YOUR RED PANTS AND DANCE THE PANTS, LETS PANTS, TO THE SOUND COURDOROY PANTS MAKE ON THE RADIO... LETS PANTS...YOU CAN LOOK INTO MY PANTS

AladdinBizzare: Brilliant Pants, I Am With Pants, I'm afraid of Pants, Diamond Pants, Pants Pants, Sweet Pants, Aladdin Pants, Watch That Pants (or should it be those now?), Pants Are, Leon Takes Pants Outside, Five Pants, It Ain't Pants, Soul Pants (or pants love), Pants City(or Suffragette Pants), Pants Goldmine, John, I'm Only Pants, Rock 'N' Roll Pants, Queen Pants, Eight Line Pants, and *takes breath* The Pants Brothers.

Brainfreezy: "I Am With Pants!" Ha! That has to be the best one.

Er... Why am I replying to this? And if I read the word "pants" one more time, I'm going to slap someone.

AladdinBizzare: PPPPPAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTTSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

hallospace: pants are more fun than i thought!

bowiefanpeter: this reminds me of an interview db did on canadian tv during the earthling tour......

interviewer: you've been kknown for your fashion sense, some of your ideas have shaped how people have dressed in the last 25 years...

db:yes, my pants have changed the way society thinks.....

ziggfried: Hell, if Bowie replaced half the lyrics from Tin Machine with the word "pants" and it probably would have been a better album.

"I'm no scientist, but I do know that all things begin and end
in pants."
"I want a lawyer who is well versed in pata... Pants."
"Go back to your room. Play with your toys and your pants."
"But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your pants."
"He's a lively little chap. I think I'll call him Jareth. He's got my pants."
"I've just noticed your lovely pants are missing."
"I'll tip you straight into the Pants of Eternal Stench!"
"Look what I'm offering you - your pants!"
"My dear man, I am not pissing into those pants!"

I've created a monster.

AladdinBizzare: Jareth has very tight pants

Vicious: AAAAARGH!!! ROFL!!!! The best Pants yet, Ziggfried !

Too funny... and bloody cruel about TM (I like TM!!! BOTH albums!!)

Pants City? (Heaven's In here? ..let's just leave that one, shall we...)

Leocondie: Space Pants! Pants Oddity! Unwashed and somewhat slightly pants. pants to hermione. pants committee. pants. an occasional pants. wild eyed pants from freecloud. god knows i'm pants. memory of a pants festival.

Guess who's listening to space oddity? :P

Fill your pants (I love that one) Pants Warhol. Song for Bob Pants. Queen Pants. The Pants brothers.
It's no game, pants 1 and 2. up the pants backwards. scary monsters (and super pants). ashes to pants. pants. teenage pants. pants come. Because You're Pants.
A small plot of pants. No pants. I'm pants. Thru these architects pants.

Oh, I could go on all day, Pants!

Laika: In the heat of the pants, London pants, the laughing pants, the superpants, Looking for pants

Leocondie: Fill your pants with love today,
don't play the game of time!
Things that happened in your pants
only happened in your pants
only in your pants
Oh, forget your pants and you'll be FREEEEEEEE!

madamheidi: Nice, friends at TW.

Really - very entertaining....

You realize that some of us, myself included, will - and did - actually read each of your posts all the way through.

The tactful PANTS by your window
Surveys the prairie of your PANTS
Mobile PANTS to its collision
Clara puts her head between her PANTS
They've opened shops down on the PANTS side
Will all the PANTS find a home
But the key to the PANTS
Is in the PANTS that pins the PANTS to the sky....

twister: 'Our Pants...

Thursday's Pants
Something In The Pants
Sir! Pants!
If I'm Dreaming My Pants
Pants
What's Really Pants?
The Pretty Pants Are Going To Hell
New Pants Of Promise
Brilliant Pants
The Pants

ziggfried: "Take your protein pill and put your pants on"
"And these children that you spit on/As they try to change their pants..."
"You've made a bad connection 'cause I just want your pants"
"And when the pants are strewn/Don't be afraid of the room"
"You've read it in the papers/And the pants are on TV"
"The return of the Thin White Duke/Throwing pants in lovers' eyes"
"Such is the stuff from where pants are woven"
"Drink, drink, drain your glass/Raise your pants high"
"Once I'm beggin' you save her little pants"
"In this age of grand illusion/You walked into my pants"
"Remember it's true/Dignity is valuable/But our pants are valuable too"
"He coughed and shook his crumpled pants"
"Look Back In Anger/Feel it in my pants/Till You come" (okay, that one was too seedy)
"A series of shocks/Pants fall apart"
"She asked me to stay and I stole her pants"
"Pants/They hide the saddest views"
"And your prayers/They break the pants in two"
"Down in the underpants/You'll find someone true"
"What a fantastic pants abyss!"

Phew. Mutilating classic songs is hard work.

Leocondie: Zane Zane Zane,
Ouvre Le Pants

SevenKAK: maybe it's time to change tw to teenage pantslife (!) j/k. or pants-age wildlife?

very funny posts, everyone. even weirder that i have the suspicion that "pants" means something else entirely in the uk. (!)

this all seems reminiscent of the david letterman show's "worldwide pants" production logo...hehe

Leocondie: Yes, pants in my unbeloved UK are underwear. which is better :B

PrairieFlower: LOLOLOLOL
The word pants has lost all meaning...

From Queen Pants:
"And I'm phoning a cab
cause my pants feel small.."

Always Crashing in the Same Pants
A New Career in New Pants

A Scallywag In Drag: Urm this is very interesting. Some may even say that it's PANTS! Ha ha ha............

From A Lad In Pants, A Lemon In Pants, A Llama In The Pants, A Rocker In The Pants, and my personal fav..

A Plum In Pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CygnetC: Anybody ever heard the song "Change My Pants" by The Vandals? Atfer reading this thread I put on the song and gigggled a bit. The end of the song takes lines from other songs and adds "change your pants" to them. The best line in the song is "Put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't change your pants."
Oh, what good times. . .

ziggfried: My contribution to the "Is Bowie a Paranoid Schizophrenic?" post half-bombed, so I am crawling back to this INANE (ha, ha) post...Who would have thought that the simple word "pants" would become a crucible for cultural diversity? I meant the word as underwear, but of course our American friends would see at as trousers...What next? TWers worldwide will start discussing what the word "chips" refers to in various nations? Or is this my rather sad attempt at flogging a dead horse, keeping a post alive that deserves to be put down, preferably suffocated with the very same pants it has been pontificating about?

Stay tuned for my follow-up post, entitled "David Bowie song titles that could be improved with the phrase 'Small Off-Duty Czechoslovakian Traffic Wardens'" *

*Red Dwarf reference

Laika: there is only 19 days till the santa pants comes and we all can open our pants

twister: I needed to resurrect this. Come, bask in ziggfried's comedic genius once more.

My favourite was: "I've just noticed your lovely pants are missing."

ziggfried: I had another crazy spell, and in my delirium I remembered a TW thread from yonks ago that amusingly altered David Bowie song titles/lyrics quotes with this word "pants." I think I hallucinated that Twister resurrected the thread and...By gum, I am in full control of my mind, and it looks like Twister DID resurrect this post!

Oh God, I started this thing well over a year ago, and the sad thing is, it's STILL probably the high point of my humorous contributions to TW ("comedic genius", Twister? I might get a swelled head!).

So...

Pants! Goddamn, you're looking old
The joke has been well told
'cause we've left this thread behind (about time)
Giving up is hard
But keeping "PANTS" is shameful
I've made so many posts
I've had so many great views
But you, Twister, were kind
But pants have left me jokeless
It's been over a year
My gags are looking hopeless
Perhaps you're smiling now
Smiling through this crapness
But all I had to give
Was the knack for dribbling

(cue snatch of Beethoven's Ninth on Ronno's guitar)

Pants should be on by now
Pants should be on by now
Pants should be on by now
Pants should be on by now
Pants should be on by now

Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants

Yeah, pants!

(cue Garson's closing tinkling of piano)

BowiesWoman: I think you people are crazy and I just can't stop laughing!

WildWind:

I don't know about that - you've got some stunners. Wasn't it you that was responsible for Iggy and the Dave?

Atonalexpress: Wasn't Bowie a "PANTomimist?"

SoulLoveChild: ".....As the last three corpses lay rotting in my slimy pants....."

This thread really made me cack my duds.... thanks

sonofsilence: "I never did good things
I never did bad things
I never did anything out of my pants"

hmm great idea

white rabbit: These are great! Hooray to twister for bringing it back and to Ziggfried for starting it in the first place. I think I said in the "favorite words" thread that "pants" was one of mine. Well, not anymore!

Lee Press-On and The Nails had a song on their CD Jump Swing from Hell (1997) called "Big Pants Dance". Close, no?

For some reason, I now have the urge to read What Was I Scared Of?, a story by Dr. Seuss.

Well ...
I was walking in the night
And I saw nothing scary.
For I have never been afraid
Of anything. Not very.

Then I was deep within the woods
When, suddenly, I spied them.
I saw a pair of pale green pants
With nobody inside them!

Halloween Jill: I don't think anyone's mentioned The Laughing Pants.

Aaaaah . . . I wallow with glee in my personal bubble of dorkness.

EuropeanCanon: Tin Machine's contribution to ChangesPantsBowie;

Heaven's In Pants
Tin Pants
Prisoner of Pants
Pants City
Under the Pants
Pants
Working Class Pants
Pretty Pants
Pants Crime
Pants Can Dance
Pants Universal
Pants Belong in Rock 'N' Roll
If There Is Pants
Betty Pants
Pants Can't Talk
Shopping For Pants
A Big Pants
Goodbye Mr. Pants

Bonus Tracks: Pants On The Beach, Maggie's Pants.

Goblin Queen: *wipes eyes*

i haven't laughed so much since...... that thread about a hip, new name for David Bowie....

'I Dig Pants'?
'Can't Help Thinking About Pants'?
'Something in the Pants'?
'Dancing In The Pants'?
'Rubber Pants'?
'Pants for Bob Dylan'?

Ziggfried, what have you done? :P

ziggfried: How about dragging Iggy Pop into this pit of degradation?

- I Wanna Be Your Pants
- No Pants
- Gimme Pants
- Funpants
- Dum Dum Pants
- Tiny Pants
- Pants Production
- Lust For Pants
- Some Weird Pants
- Fall In Love With Pants
- Cry For Pants
- Pants Pants Pants

...just when I think I'm out, they gotta drag me back in!

Halloween Jill: Yay yay! Let's turn Suede's first album into this sillyness . . .

So Pants
Animal Pants
She's Not Pants
Pants
Pantomime Pants
The Pants
Sleeping Pants
Pants
Metal Pants
Pants Lover
The Pants Life

Ooooh . . . I love this game.

ziggfried: Not even the much admir'd Sgt. Pepper is free from this dubious line of humour:

- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Pants
- With A Little Help From My Pants
- Lucy In The Sky With Pants
- Getting Pants
- Fixing Pants
- She's Leaving Pants
- Being For The Pants of Mr. Kite!
- Within Pants Without Pants
- When I'm Sixty-Pants (desperate but really the only option)
- Lovely Pants
- Good Morning Good Pants
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Pants (Reprise)
- A Day In The Pants

...so much for leaving this thread behind! More than likely you guys are gonna get sick of it and shout me down...