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elvenlass
(stardust savant)
10/02/04 01:08 AM
Re: Trick or treat, my straw-filled friend! new [re: JarethsGirl]  

JarethsGirl listened for a while and heard something from not so far off in the black distance.

Elvenlass: Hello?! Who are you?

JarethsGirl: Uhh...this is JarethsGirl. Are you a ghost?

Elvenlass: Ghost my ass, JarethsGirl, this is Elvenlass!

JarethsGirl: Oh my god!

*by this time JarethsGirl had found the car with Pablo, Schizo, Omar, RealThing, BlackTropic, and Elvenlass*

Elvenlass: What the hell is going on?

JarethsGirl: I have no idea, but I think it has to do with those three tests that seafoam suit guy was talking about.

BlackTropic: Wait, you know that seafoam suit guy? What exactly did he tell you?

JarethsGirl: To tell you the truth he freaked me out with all the nonsense he told me. He said there would be three tests upon entrance to the mansion, and that the house had a mind of it's own, and something about the owers of the house from 1806 or something being corpsy.

RealThing: Do you think they had beer in the early 1800's?

Schizo: Dude, I know random, and that was pretty random. Why are you even thinking about beer right now? We're stuck in a nauseatingly evil cave with no hopes of getting out.

Pablo: Do you think this was our first test? We failed, obviously. I think we should have trusted the directions.

Schizo: Oh sure, a whole test devoted to our trust in a street sign. Please.

Elvenlass: No, he's right. This has got to be the first test. All we've got to do now is get out and move onto the next one. Follow me you guys!

*and with that, everyone reluctantly got out of the car and started walking slowly around the cave*

All of a sudden, Omar cries out in pain and shock, there's a THUD to the ground, and then everything is silent...

"Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear." - Kevin Spacy in The Ref


blacktropic84
(wild eyed peoploid)
10/02/04 01:33 AM
Re: Trick or treat, my straw-filled friend! new [re: elvenlass]  

Blacktropic: I'll just be a few minutes guys
Omar: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andy! Can I have a cup of coffee? ..... And a drummer?

All Sliced Up And Sealed Tight In Baggies
Guess Love Makes You Do Funny Things

SysiyoModerator
(thunder ocean)
10/02/04 05:49 AM
Meanwhile... actually some time ago, in the plane. new [re: ChesireCat]  

Sysiyo and Sugar stare at the sleeping jedi-hooded figure on the floor. Well, they weren't too certain if the man (or woman, they weren't too sure that either) was really asleep because the cat puppet kept moving around, trying to curl itself into the robe's pocket.

Suddenly a stewardess was stading next to the two Finnlings, who tried very much not to look guilty.

Stewardess: "Err, do you two know this man?"
Sugar: "No!"
Sys: "Yes! He's a friend of ours. He isn't feeling well, I think I should take him into the bathroom to refreshen him up a bit."

Before anyone could protest, Sys had climbed over Sugar to the other isle, grabbed the jedi by his shoulders and started dragging him towards the bathroom. The cat puppet clearly didn't like this, as it was gnawing on Sys's arm all the way. When the bathroom door closed behind the three, Sugar and the flight attendant were left to state wide-eyedly at the door.

Stewardess: "Can I get you something, miss?"
Sug: "A Pepsi, please."

Before the stewardess could leave, Sugar's Dourif puppet rose to face her.

Sugar (in her best Drad Dourif -imitation voice): "I'll have whisky, please. Traveling with these folks is so damn hard."
Sugar (as herself): "Brad darling, I don't think it's such a good idea, we need to be sharp when we get to Pittsburgh."
Sugar (as the puppet): "Did you have to drag me along to this party anyway? And that friend of yours..."

As if on cue, loud grunting and the sound of a human body banging steadily against a wall could be heard from the bathroom into which Sys and the Jedi has disappeared a few moments ago.

Sugar (puppet): "See what I mean?"
Sugar: "Oh good dog..."
Stewardess: "So, do I bring the whisky?"
Sugar: "We can do without it, thank you."

The Dourif-puppet turned his head away and looked very annoyed. Sugar decided to let him be. The sounds coming from the bathroom got louder, until they were silenced after a muffled scream.

A few minutes later Sysiyo walked out, hair ruffled, buttoning his pants as he stepped out of the bathroom. He got a murdering look from Sugar as well as the Dourif hand-puppet as he walked back to his place.

Sugar (in a whisper so loud everyone could hear): "What do you think you were doing?"
Sys: "Joining the mile-high club. It's not everyday I find myself in an aeroplane's bathroom with another man."
Sug: "But... was he even councious?"
Sys: "Well... not really... his ass might hurt a bit when he wakes up."
Sug: "Really, you should stop... hey, what's that in your hand?"

Sysiyo looked at his right hand, which now held a blue cat puppet.

Sys: "Who the hell are you?"
Puppet: "The CheshireCat, didn't you recognise me?"
Sug: "But... but... you're a puppet!"
Puppet: "Well, I live in a symbioptic relationship with my host body. But since you left him unconcious in the bathroom, I thought I'd come with you."

At this point the conversation was interrupted when the bathroom door opened and the jedi-figure stepped out. He was no longer wearing his robe, only normal, nondescript clothes. This was not the thing that attracted eveyone's attention to him. The man was recognised by almost everyone in the place, thanks to his miscolored eyes and handsome figure. When he started walking down the isle some wondered why he walked so funnily, but these people were probably deaf and hadn't heard the loud noises coming from the bathroom before.

Sys: "Oh my..."
Sug: "...Bowie..."

Bowie walked up to the Finnlings, but to everyone's surprise he didn't adress either Sys or Sugar, but the Cheshire Cat.

Bowie: "Have I done well, master?"
CC: "Yes, my young padowan. You controlled your emotions well. However, there's still a long way to go if you wish to become a master."
Bowie: "Then, I guess I must meditate."
CC: "Do so."

Sugar and Sys stared in silent awe as Bowie sat on the floor, cross-legged, and started mumbling to himself, eyes closed.

KArt | Project Michelangelo | LiveJournal

th0mas
(acolyte)
10/02/04 07:09 AM
Still somewhere else on this planet new [re: Sysiyo]  

th0mas calls his cell phone mailbox after being on some set for one and a half day wihtout sleep.
phone: *doooooood* *pause* *doooooood* *phone-lady-voice* This is the mailbox of th0mas. You have three new messages. *click* *JarethsGirl's voice* Hello th0mas, I couldn't reach you at home, seems you are busy. Please call me back as soon as possible *click* *phone-lady-voice* Press 1 to save the message and 2 to delete it. to repeat the message press 3. *click* *JarethsGirl's voice* Hi th0mas, seems you are not back yet... well, i just wanted to ask whether you have time for my halloween party. I have a great location organized and i bet there will be bunches of cute boys at usually at my parties. please call me back as soon as possible *click* *phone-lady-voice* Press 1 to save the message and 2 to delete it. to repeat the message press 3. *click* *JarethsGirl's voice* Hi th0mas... just get your ass to my party dammit, I still have to phone lots of other TWers two phone... *click* *phone-lady-voice* Press 1 to save the message and 2 to delete it. to repeat the message press 3. *click*

So th0mas puts on his party suite and starts his super-hero-vehicle he hides in his 27 m≤ apartment somewhere under the sink.

And though knowing he should never fly this vehicle and use his cell phone the same time, he dials some number and asks whether he should pick someone up on his way.

"Have you tried... not being a mutant?"

JollyGood
(grinning soul)
10/02/04 07:25 AM
Re: Trick or treat, my straw-filled friend! new [re: elvenlass]  

Slowly Pablo stepped toward the noise, when for his surprise he saw a plane wreck.
A voice from the debris: ouch.
pablo: Who's there?

A girl is crawling from the wrecked plane. She wears military uniform with a 'Ziggy Stardust' button on her baret.
elvenlass: what do you see, pablo?
AVFTD: pablo? as pablopicasso from TW?
pablo: Yes, who are you?
AVFTD: JollyGood.
JarethsGirl: Oh, good, you've come to the party?
JollyGood: What party? After I called my commanding officer a bitch I decided to make a run for it. I never understood why there are so many unused planes in every air force base, but it sure did help me this time. It went fine until, well, I crashed. Not bad for a first time though.
So what's that talk about a party?
JarethsGirl: We're all going to a party, but we have to pass three tests before we get there.
JollyGood: You mean like what is your name; what is you quest; what is the capital of Assyria?
JarethsGirl: Well, we don't really know, I think we should try to find the exit.
schizophrenic: Guys, maybe we should try that flashing 'EXIT' sign.
blacktropic84: I said a few minutes!

____________________________
stop that!
that's
SILLY!
It started nicey with old women beating up young men
But now it just got
silly
- Monty Python

SugarPlumFairy
(leasing the moon)
10/02/04 08:35 AM
Re: Meanwhile... actually some time ago, in the plane. new [re: Sysiyo]  

Slowly the ragged TWers emerged back to daylight from the cave (which was in fact made entirely of painted styrox, and a small stamp next to the exit proved it to be property of Disneyland). They hadn't gotten any nearer to the mansion - they were standing at the foot of a steep, muddy slope that seemed to go on for about a mile, with the gloomy-looking mansion at the very top. Ridiculously ominous black clouds were beginning to gather in the sky. Somewhere in the distance a wolf howled. Someone had certainly invested time and money in cheesy special effects.

There was nothing to it - after losing their vehicles in the cave, the TWers would have to get up the slope on foot.

But before they so much as got started, they heard a strange noise from above.

JarethsGirl: "What's that?"
Schizo: "Sounds like a.. failing Boeing 747 motor."
JarethsGirl: "How do you know that?"
Omar: "You should ask me, I handled the case afterwards."

Just as Schizo was about to bitchslap his lawyer - their relationship was a strange combination of love and hate - the world erupted into a chaos of noise. Mud, rubble and aeroplane parts were flying everywhere as the TWers sought shelter in the styrox cave.

When the catastrophe was over, they checked that all body parts were still attached to their right owners and walked over to the wreck of the plane. Alas, there were no survivors in the burning wreckage.

But lo! Just as they were about to shrug and continue their perilous journey up the slope, they heard even more noise from above.

JarethsGirl: "What's that then? I bet you can't recognise that. What a diabolical cacophony."
Schizo: "Oh, that's just Sysiyo, Sugar, Bowie dressed as a jedi knight, and a couple of talking handpuppets descending towards us with pink parachutes."
Omar: "Don't ask me, it never happened before, honest."

I like to pay attention to the men behind the curtain.

elvenlass
(stardust savant)
10/02/04 01:00 PM
Re: Meanwhile... actually some time ago, in the plane. new [re: SugarPlumFairy]  

*when Sys, Sugar, Bowie and the handpuppets reached everyone else*

Elvenlass: Holy crap! What happened?!

Bowie: I don't know exactly, but when we crashed, I think I landed hard on my rump or something, because it's really sore.

*Suger glares at Sys who is laughing to himself*

Sugar: It's a long story, but we're here now.

JollyGood: So what now?

Schizo: Well my car is gone now, you bastards. It seems like the only way to proceed is to climb up this muddy hill on foot.

JarethsGirl: Fine, let's go.

All the TWers, Bowie, and the handpuppets (though technically they have no feet) started walking up the muddy, slippery hill. After about an hour, they realized that again, they weren't going ANYWHERE! The mud was so slippery that they kept sliding right back down to where they started.

JollyGood: If this doesn't work, we at least have some good mud for mudwrestling!

Pablo: What a positive suggestion. No.

As Bowie tried to descend the hill, Sys got on the ground right behind him so that his face was close enough to his behind so he could examine his ass.

Sugar: Sys! Stop that. That's enough!

Schizo: No wait! That's brilliant! We learned this teambuilding exercise at Boyscouts a few years ago.

Elvenlass: You're a boyscout?

Schizo: Our scoutmaster fondled me...

Elvenlass: I'm sorry.

Schizo: Anyway! There was this teambuilding exercise where we had to climb a muddy hill like this one, and we kind of had to make a snake up the hill and connect our bodies so that there would be a bunch of people lying flat up the hill, and then other people could walk on top of them!

JarethsGirl: The hill is several hundred feet high. We only have like...a dozen of us at the most.

Schizo: Oh.

Jedi Bowie: Step aside.

And with that, Bowie started concentrating upside down with the Cheshire Cat standing on his feet. Then all of a sudden, things started moving! The mud was forming and reforming, and rocks and boulders were flying in from far away. When bowie was done, he had created a highly elaborate step system that made it so much easier to climb up the hill.

Pablo: Yes!

Jarethsgirl: Thank god!

Sugar: Wonderful!

Schizo: You piece of shit! You knew how to do something like that and you let us stumble around in the mud for hours!!!

Jedi Bowie: Sorry, it was sexy.

Schizo:...Omar, sue him.

Elvenlass: Calm down you guys. Let's just get up to the house...

But before they started climbing, a car SCREECHED down the road towards them, and out comes Th0mas!

Th0mas: Hey, I made it just in time!

Elvenlass: Wait, where did you come from? You made it out of the cave with your car?

Th0mas: You're not saying that you guys didn't follow the street sign, are you? *chuckling to himself* You really need to have more faith in signs, and be more aware of the concept of illusion.

Elvenlass: Oookay.

Th0mas: So what now?

They all pointed up the stairs and towards the mansion...



"Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear." - Kevin Spacy in The Ref


blacktropic84
(wild eyed peoploid)
10/02/04 01:51 PM
Re: Meanwhile... actually some time ago, in the plane. [re: elvenlass]  

So Elvenlass, Sysio, SugarPlumFairy, Schizophrenic, RealThing, Pablopicasso, Jareth'sGirl, JollyGood, ChesireCat, Brad Dourif, David Bowie, Omar and Blacktropic84 began climbing up the stairs. Hours seemed to go by, but the hill seemed to be getting taller.

Blacktropic [to Omar] : Are you going to sue me?
Omar: I have not yet decided
Blacktropic: But i raped you ......
Omar: ....... yes ......... raped........
Schizophrenia: i want a chocolate milkshake
Jareth'sGirl: mmmmmmm
Sugar: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE
Pablo: Huh? What's wrong?
Sugar: DEATH WILL BEFALL US, OUR BLOOD WILL FLOW
Sysio: Sugar? Are you okay?
Sugar: 'IT' WILL FEAST ON OUR BONES
Bowie: It is with my great expertise that .....

Andy! Can I have a cup of coffee? ..... And a drummer?

All Sliced Up And Sealed Tight In Baggies
Guess Love Makes You Do Funny Things

pablopicasso
(stardust savant)
10/02/04 02:05 PM
Re: Meanwhile... actually some time ago, in the plane. [re: blacktropic84]  

Pablo, guys I think we are going about this entirely the wrong way, I think this is..... THE SECOND TEST!
Music Starts "DUH DUH DUUUUH!"

Bowie : I wish my arse wasn't hurting so much it makes climbing hard.
Sugar looks at Sysiyo and glares, to which Sysiyo blushes.

Schizo; What is the second test then?

Pablo: remember the signs were the opposite way round?

Blacktropic: Yeah, so?

Pablo: Look....

Pablo starts walking down the hill and mysteriously starts rising above the others.

David Bowie: I thought this would happen, I wrote about it 25 years ago.

Schizo: Omar, sue this guy, why does he keep things from us?

Sugar: Ah I get it
She starts walking down too and rises to where Pablo is.

Jareth's girl follows her and says: Oh why didn't we think of this earlier.

One by one the fellow TW'ers, Puppets, Omar and Bowie start to climb up the hill backwards.

If people were banned for not being sensible who would still be here?

ChesireCat
(mortal with potential)
10/02/04 09:34 PM
...and as they got to the top of the hill... [re: pablopicasso]  

Slowly, but surely, everybody climbs to the top of the hill ...because, after all, it ain't easy to get to the top when youíre going down.

Pablo: OK, so what do we do now? Do we wait for the third test?

Sugar: We should probably keep walking ... something should come up ...

And certainly, as Sugar is saying this, six huge tigers come at then out of nowhere.

Sysiyo: Eeeek!

Elvenlass: What now?

Schizo: Omar, you're my lawyer ... Do something!

Omar: Ok, ok ... I'll handle this ....

As Omar approaches the tigers (which are as big as elephants) he starts telling them...

Omar: Hello there! I'm sure you're aware of animal laws in this country. Do all of you have a permit to be here? Visa's up to date and all?

And with that said, one of the tigers takes a couple of steps and in one gulp eats Omar...

Schizo: Shit ... and he still owed me money...

As everybody is watching the tiger, suddenly, it starts to cough, turns around and throws up to one side, spitting Omar in the process ...

Omar (all covered in goo and whatever elephant sized tigers eat): ...well, that's a first.

Suddenly, all tigers approach the rest of the group and as they are about to jump on them, a loud whistle is heard. Everybody turns around to see ChesireCat with a bunch of jars of vaseline on his hands.

ChesireCat: Here, puss, puss, puss ...

To this, the tigers run to Chesire who turns and throws the vaseline down the hill. Surely enough, all the tigers roll down it. Everybody nears the side of the hill to see all the tigers eating and moving around with the vaseline.

Blacktropic: So thatís what tigers on vaseline move like! Who would've known?

Jareth's Girl: But, Chesire, did you know the third test would be this? Why did you have all that vaseline on you.

ChesireCat (now, both his legs showing): Well, if you're to come as a puppet, you have to expect a lot of people to shove their hands up your ass ... it was just a precaution ...

Sysiyo: Well, that makes sense.

Bowie: So ... shall we move on.

Everybody turned around and, to everyone's amazement, they saw ...


`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
`I don't much care where --' said Alice.
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.



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