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(cracked actor)
10/03/04 09:26 PM
Re: He's playing a Jedi mind trick!! new [re: elvenlass]  

Just then, a shot rang out through the air and the werewolf fell to the floor. All the TWers turned to Schizo, who had a smoking gun in his hands. By now, he had shed his Batman costume to reveal an elegant white suit topped by a ridiculous red dickie bow.

Elvenlass: Lemme guess. Bruce Wayne?
Schizo: Actually, Gary Numan from the cover of 'The Fury'. Close enough, though.
Sysiyo: Gee, sorry about your lawyer.
Schizo: That's fine. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of him...
RealThing: What are you talking about? He's dead!
Schizo: Oh, right. Shit.

Suddenly, hideous laughter echoed through the air.

Hideous echoey voice: Fools! This is all part of the plan!
JarethsGirl: What the hell are you -

But before she could finish, the walls began to melt away to reveal densely intertwined sheets of metal. Suddenly, the TWers realized they weren't in a mansion at all...but a cage!

Dun dun dun DUUUUUN!

Pablo: What the - hey, does anyone -
Elvenlass: Look!

And all the TWers turned to look at what once was David Bowie, but now revealed itself as something so hideously evil, that to gaze upon it induced horrific waves of pure puking terror!

Schizo: BLEEEEEAAAAUUUUGH! It's Richard Simmons!
SugarPlumFairy: BLOOOOORF! Then that means -
Schizo: I've got to say that has to rank as one of the oddest vomits I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of strange vomiting.
PHOENIX: Did someone say "Vomit"?
th0mas: How the hell did you get here?
PHOENIX:...I don't know...
Hideous echoey voice: SILENCE! You have all taken the bait and fallen for my diabolical scheme! Everything after you left the cave has been nothing but a jedi mind trick!
Schizo: Does that mean Omar's still alive?
Voice: No. No it doesn't.
Schizo: Damn.
TalentedChild: So why did you do this?
Voice: The explanation is simple, my dear. You see...


(stardust savant)
10/03/04 09:47 PM
Bend over, Buddy. new [re: schizophrenic]  

Voice: ...Richard Simmons is a very lonely man. He has been pestering me with his gay antics for a decade. He said he wouldn't leave until he's had his fill of P-L-E-A-S-U-R-E. That's where you guys come in. He's already had a taste of you guys when this stud here *everyone looks at Sys* had a brief encounter with him in the airplane restroom. He won't leave until he's finished with you all. And neither will you!!! Mwahahahaha!

Elvenlass: But that means us girls are off the hook, right? I mean, Richard Simmons is gay.

Voice: Thank you for bringing that up.


Voice: Is that better?

Elvenlass: *with a significantly lower voice* WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm a dude! Holy shit on toast! *looks inside her pants* PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the other females of the group shriek in horror as they look upon themselves. They are all male.

RealThing: Elvenlass, you piece of shit! Please tell me I'm drunk!

Sugar: Please tell me I'm dreaming!

Voice: QUIET!!! For once, I will have peace and quiet, and this obnoxious man won't keep pestering me. *in an eerie voice* Good night... Hahahahaha!!!

Richard Simmons: *bouncing towards Sys and caressing his shoulder* We meet again, you stallion! Heehee!

Sys: *pukes*

Pheonix: Hey, why am I here again?

Schizo: *whispering to the others* We really have to get out of here. Plan A: Sacrifice Sys to Simmons while we try to escape.

Sugar: Hell no! Sys is my friend!

Schizo: Okay, revision to plan A: Sacrifice Sugar AND Sys to Simmons while we get the hell out of here.

Elvenlass: Okay no.

Pablo: Even if we were to sacrifice someone, how the hell do you suppose we escape from this place.

*Screams of horror coming from Sys at the other end of the cage*

Elvenlass: Well, if any of you have a plan, now would be the time...

"Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear." - Kevin Spacy in The Ref

(wild eyed peoploid)
10/03/04 09:52 PM
Re: Bend over, Buddy. new [re: elvenlass]  

Blacktropic: MR VOICE!!!! Would it maybe be okay if Mrs. Simmons only fucked me? Honestly i wouldnt mind, a penis is a penis no matter who's it is ......which reminds me ..... Hey Elvenlass, RAWR!

Andy! Can I have a cup of coffee? ..... And a drummer?

All Sliced Up And Sealed Tight In Baggies
Guess Love Makes You Do Funny Things

(grinning soul)
10/03/04 10:09 PM
Re: Bend over, Buddy. new [re: blacktropic84]  

...The TW Halloween party! How could OleanderWhoosh have forgotten?!! Frantically, she threw on her Captain Jack Sparrow costume and bolted out the door.

After running in slow motion for a while, with a look of horror upon her moustache-painted face, she arrived at the party spectacularly late.

She gasped at the gruesome sight before her eyes.

OleanderWhoosh: Oh dear. Fine time to be dressed like Johnny Depp...

Then, without warning --


Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
10/03/04 10:35 PM
Re: Bend over, Buddy. new [re: OleanderWhoosh]  

*I'm not going to write myself into this story...yet*

AOOOOWWWLLL! A high-pitched howl pierced the air.

Omar, the dead lawyer, was now a zombified werewolf! He couldn't hold his head up straight, his neck being broken. The gaping neck wound was oozing not blood, but a glowing green substance. His legs had turned into a Great Dane's hind quarters, and his trousers fell off to reveal an impressive piece of 'equipment'.

Richard Simmons gasped in horror and awe.

The lawyer-werewolf pounced on Richard and...

Voice: "OH DEAR GOD!"
RealThing: "Whoa..."
Schitzo: "Damn..."
Sugar: "This is so wrong..."
Phoenix: "WHERE AM I???"
Sys: "...."
Brad: "Hey, what the f*ck is going on out there?"
Elvenlass: "Well, that's one way to describe it..OW!"

To describe the scene would go beyond the boundaries of human decency, yet Richard's screams from being 'taken' by the beast shattered the iron bars. Suddenly, the aerobics instructor burst in a spray of blood and guts, leaving only the were-wolf behind *whoops, no pun intended*

Sys: "Yeah, right*

OleanderWhoosh: "Um...that was interesting...what'd I miss?"

Voice: "Damn you, TW'ers! I dare you to find me! Happy hunting...ha ha HA!!"

The space around them shifted like liquid again. Instead of the fallen iron bars, the TW'ers found themselves inside....

Don't understand me, just love me

(cracked actor)
10/03/04 11:13 PM
Lube your Jiffys! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

.....a huge padded room with white walls.

Elvenlad: Where are we? A mental hospital??
SugarPlumsHairy: I think so... What do you think Brad? Anything like the Cuckoo's Nest?
Brad Dourif: I'm sleeping, do you mind?
JarethsBoy: Omg, am I crazy? Did all this really happen or am I a friggin nut?!
Schizo: ....My name is schizophrenic.... MY NAME IS SCHIZOPHRENIC!!!
::Pandemonium ensues as all the TWers begin running around the room, flailing their arms and making animal noises::
Mr. Voice: OH SHUT UP, will you? ..Geez, I just had to get you all away from that crazy man eating werewolf, where ever he came from! You're no good to me in pieces!!
Pablo: Then why did you laugh maniacally and dare us to find you?
Mr. Voice: I dunno, I was just improvising... it felt right in the moment.
Elvenlad: So, uh.. does that mean you can return us to our original genders?
Mr. Voice: Oh.. well, you see. I made the spell so that it couldn't be broken until you had some sort of sexual encounter...
(I'veGotA)RealThing: But.. we're all dudes now. Does that mean we have to have some sort of big gay orgy?
Mr. Voice: I could always just let you out of this room so you could find your own preferred mate.. but I have a camcorder with me.. and I already claimed the domain name MrVoicesBigGayOrgy.com...
JarethsBoy: ....Well JollyWood, I hope you still have some Vaseline left..
(I'veGotA)RealThing: I'm gonna need a whole lot of booze before this goes down..
Mr. Voice: I've got a crate of Jack Daniels in the back.
Pablo: Guys, is it just me or does that sound like the movie phone guy?
Schizo: Holy shnikes, now that you mention it!
Mr. Voice: (nervously) What? No, no, I don't know who that is..
Sugar: It totally IS the movie phone guy!!!
Mr. Voice: I'm NOT the movie phone guy!!!!! Now all of you, get humping! I have to get this film online by tomorrow morning!!

Elvenlad: Wait a tick... he said "sexual encounter." He never said it had to be with another person, right?
Sugar: I am NOT going to fondle my newly blossomed member in front of everybody! That's just too degrading.
Elvenlad: I didn't exactly have our hands in mind.... I was thinking more along the lines of hand... puppets....

::Brad Dourif jerks awake from his slumber::

PMs make my pulse quicken.

(stardust savant)
10/03/04 11:29 PM
Re: Lube your Jiffys! new [re: JarethsGirl]  

The Cheshire Cat grins WIDELY, more than usual at the thought of what he might get to do.

Elvenlad: Wait a sec, I'm not sure I want to do this. In fact, I'd rather...hey, you know how we conjured up people at the big door? I wonder if we still have that conjuring power...hmmm...like, it would really SUCK *nudge nudge wink wink* if Angelina Jolie were to suddenly show up and help me out here.

*Suddenly Angelina Jolie shows up in a sexy vinyl outfit*

Elvenlad: I'm straight, but she is the one woman I'd "have a sexual encounter with" if I were male. And guess what? I'm male!!!! Hahaha! Quick you guys! Conjure someone so that you can get this all over with and return to your normal gender!

"Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear." - Kevin Spacy in The Ref

(thunder ocean)
10/04/04 03:46 AM
Re: Lube your Jiffys! [re: elvenlass]  

Sys: "But I don't want to conjure up anyone, now that Sugar is for once male... Besides, what's wrong in a gay orgy anyway?"

*Just a brief interlude from school. And I really wanted to say it.*

KArt | Project Michelangelo | LiveJournal

(wild eyed peoploid)
10/04/04 11:33 AM
Re: Lube your Jiffys! [re: Sysiyo]  

JollyWood: Elvenlad, wait a minute before you rape Angelina Jolie. I mean, do you really believe a pervert who want to make a gay film out of us when he tells us we HAVE to have a sexual encounter? He didn't really prove himself trustworthy. I say we'll kick his ass until he turns us back!
Voice: No, I really can't break the spell, I'm telling you need to have a gay orgy!
Schizo: I think I'll check if my fist can change his mind.
Voice: Don't be stupid! You can't find me so just have that orgy already!
Sugar: He's toying with us, and now with all that testosterone I say we find him and beat the crap out of him!
Sys(staring at sugar's ass): But I wanted a gay orgy.
Blacktropic: I know what you meanů

Schizo kicks the door open.

Pablo: You could check if it's locked first
Schizo: What would be the fun in that?
Voice: "Damn you, TW'ers! I dare you to find me! Happy hunting...ha ha HA!!"
JarethsBoy: Can you stop saying that?
Voice: NO! Never.

The group walked out the door and found themselves in a dark room. It was almost impossible to see a thing.

Pablo: we have to turn on the light somehow, search the walls.
JollyWood(seeing a red button with white skull): I think I found the light switch!


stop that!
It started nicey with old women beating up young men
But now it just got
- Monty Python

(thunder ocean)
10/04/04 12:16 PM
I'm horny, sorry. [re: JollyGood]  

The lights go on.

Pablo: "Well, that was an interesting shape for a light switch."
Elevenlad: "Look!"

Everyone who wasn't already looking around the room in awe turned and well, started looking around.

The room was filled with all kinds of sex toys and S/M regalia. There were chains hanging from the walls, whips and dildoes lined up on the tables, and a sizeable bunch of pervy outfits, including a...

"Japanese Schoolgirl's uniform!" Sys yelled in extacy. "I must try this on!"

Without any ceremonies Sys stripped out of his clothes (making sure he put his Earthling jacket into his bag), and eagerly put on the pink panties and the short-skirted uniform.

Blacktropic: "Wow, that dress really shows off your ass."
Sys "Yeah, doesn't it? Oo, look at all these whips! Does anyone want to spank me?"

"NO!" screamed Elvenlad, cutting off all excited replies of 'yes!' from the crowd of TWers. "Don't you see, that is precisely what the voice wants us to do. This room is here to distract us from our quest!"
Th0mas: "Well, you can trust Sys to fall in this trap..."
Sys: "Hey, I haven't had any satisfaction in almost an hour! I have my needs too..."
Pablo: "Well, I say we move on from this room before mr. Voice gets any more material for his website."

Most of the TWers start walking towards the huge door at the other end of the room, except Sys and a few others (you may decide yourself).

Sys: "I want gay sex goddamn! And whipping! It's much less complicated than looking for this voice guy to get everyone's real gender back!"

KArt | Project Michelangelo | LiveJournal

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