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(electric tomato)
05/30/01 08:25 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Oooo. Now this is getting very interesting indeed...


Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/01/01 02:20 AM
Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Kristin Machina]  


"Wha' 'appened?"

"Hey! What's on my leg??"

"It's so dark in 'ere..."

"OK, people!" Nigel shouted. "Nothing to worry about! Dave? David? Are you OK, Dave?"

"Which one?"

Somehow the generators were turned back on, and the stage lights were re-illuminated.

The crew, director, and band stood stunned.

There was a huge dog-pile of Bowies on stage!

"Everybody, get off!" Byron shouted.

"Someone's got their hand up my dress!" Zane shouted. "Mr. Touchshriek??"


"Whoa, watch the wings!" Berlin was being poked in the face by...

"Zero!" Dory said. "You're alive!"

"Dammit..." Jareth's voice was muffled by his face being pressed against the floor.

Grace wiggled herself free, although she was now missing an arm, "Here, I'll help you..."

"Thanks, kid," Ricochet said as he slowly recovered.

"WHAT'S poking me in the bum!!??" Liza screamed.

"Just my rifle, ma'am, sorry," Celliers helped the others onto their feet.

Newton looked around, "Hey! This is just like the TV!"

"Wait a minute," Earthling looked around, "This doesn't look like anything in Suffragette City..."

"You're right," Major Tom noted, "This looks like..."

Pierrot tugged frantically at Major's sleeve. On the stage, unconscious, was...

"Is that the ...hours character?" Veronica asked.

"Negative," Boz materialized from Earthling's pocket pilot, "That character would be me. That is our host body."

"No f**kin' way!" Tin shouted! "That's f**kin' impossible! How did we get out here? And where the hell IS here!"

"Ahem," Nigel played cool and slid up the the stage area, "THIS is New York City! Hi, I'm..."

"The leech," Celliers cocked his gun.

"The Body's not waking up," Nana knelt by David's side.

"Outta my way!" Earl pushed his way through the crowd, "David?? David, wake up!!"

No response.

"Is he dead?" Ramona asked, smiling wickedly, "Can I use his kidneys?"

"NO!" the Bowies shouted in unison.

"What did the Duke do now, witch?" Leon grabbed her angrily by the breastplates and shook her. Ramona slapped him soundly across the face. The others rushed to restrain them before a fight escalated!

"The Duke killed our Body!" Leon screamed.

"He's not dead," Earl said, "He's breathing and he's got a pulse. But we need help, now!"

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!!" Gail screamed. "It's a good thing Earl is so calm, because I don't believe what I'm seeing!!"

Mike cautiously approached Halloween Jack, who was just waking up from being knocked unconscious, "This one's got dog legs--incredible..."

Jack snapped at Mike, but Celliers grabbed him by the neck before Mike could be hurt, "Heel!!" Celliers throttled Jack.

Jack shook, and his eyes cleared, "Wha...where am I? What happened? Is Major Tom OK?"

"Are you really all David Bowie?" Holly asked the group, wide-eyed.

"Um, yes...and no..." Ricochet said. "I'm kind of David, so is Earthling and Berlin...but others of us are totally different characters like Halloween Jack and..."

"Aladdin and Duke?" Yankee asked.

"Right, Aladdin and Duke won't respond to the name David, but..."

Yankee tapped Ricochet, "No, no, where's Aladdin and Duke?"
On the theatre rooftop...

"What have you done?" The Duke slowly, painfully rolls to his stomach.

"I've pulled everyone out of Suffragette City before it collapsed..." Aladdin Sane huffed and puffed from exhaustion--the counter spell took all his energy.

"You little fool," The Duke crawled on his belly, with his knife drawn, "You think you've saved yourselves," The Duke grabbed Aladdin's hair, and positioned the blade against his neck, "but now, I'm free from the confines of David's mind, and there's a whole new world to conquer!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
06/02/01 02:25 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Kristin Machina]  

the plot thickins....yummy indeed!!! keep up the wonderful story :) starbuck

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

(electric tomato)
06/04/01 07:16 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Starbuck]  

Hee hee hee..this is so great..
I wish David happened to surf around the board one day and read this. Very unlikely that'd ever happen, but...wouldn't it really be something..I'm sure it'd make him laugh too.


Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/06/01 02:01 AM
Splitting Headache--Night Flight new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As Aladdin awaited the cold kiss of steel to slice across his throat...

"Duke, wait!" Ramona and Jareth appeared on the rooftop.

"Stay out of this! This is personal!" The Duke commanded.

"I wouldn't do it if I were you," Jareth said cooly, hands behind his back, "after all, living with Ziggy the martyr must have been hard enough. But Aladdin the martyr..."

Ramona finished, "The others will never follow you if they knew you killed Zig...I mean...Aladdin!" She quickly covered her slip, but the Duke noticed.

The Duke slowly rose to a croutch, "I can't live with them alive, either. I'd rather see this little idiot..."

In a flash, Aladdin rose and flew off the rooftop!

"Come back here, little genie!" Duke shouted, "There's nowhere for you to go!"

Jareth raised his hands, and a burst of light lit the midnight sky.

"What was that you just did?" Ramona asked.

"A barrier," Jareth said, "Aladdin won't be able to leave this island. Unfortunately, neither can any of us."

The Duke stood up, "I'll find him...and I'll kill him myself!"

Ramona and Jareth stopped him, grabbing an arm each, "Wait."

Ramona said, in one ear, "Why do all the hard work yourself..."

Jareth, in the other: "When there's an army of concerned Bowies downstairs who are more than eager to find their missing comrade?"

Ramona: "Aladdin is clearly confused and disoriented."

Jareth: "If we split up, it would be relatively easy to find him."

Ramona: "Besides, we've got bigger plans for the little genie." She and Jareth smiled wickedly.

Jareth: "Bring him under our control--and the world will be ours!"

Ramona: "He meant...yours, my sweet Duke." She kissed Duke's cheek, as Jareth scowled.

Jareth: "But we must work together."

Ramona and Jareth extended a hand: "Deal?"

The Duke paused a moment, then extended a cold hand on top of theirs, "Deal."

Ramona and Jareth shared a giddy laughter, while the emotionless Duke's eyes flashed thunder....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/12/01 00:58 AM
Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"Did anything unusual happen?" the paramedic asked, as the EMS team assessed the unconscious David and gently placing him on the stretcher.

"Are you kidding? There was...!" Nigel started to speak, but Earl interrupted.

"...Nothing unusual," Earl said. "He quit cigarettes today, and he'd been having splitting headaches for days."

"Poor guy," the paramedic said, shaking his head.

"But there were multiple Bowies!" Nigel screamed. "They were all here....!"

"Uh," Gail covered his mouth, "don't pay him any attention. We've been having a 14-hour shoot with no break. We're all tired and," nudging Nigel, "seeing things!"

"I AM NOT!!" Nigel screamed. "They're lying! They're all sitting right there, in the seats!"

Mike said to the paramedic, "He means the extras--the look-a-likes for the video. It's kind of a retrospective concept."

Jareth ran down the aisles to meet the anxious Bowies....

"Where's Aladdin and Duke?" Zane asked.

"Where's Ramona?" Nathan looked around.

"Ramona and I found them on the roof," Jareth said. "Aladdin flew off in a panic, and the Duke and Ramona gave chase. They're out to kill him."

"Why didn't you stop them?!" Byron screamed. The others hushed him.

"Hey!" the paramedic called out, "do any of you know what happened?"

The Bowies looked nervously at each other.

"Um," Yankee called, "not really. Not like we know what's going on in his head!" He chucked nervously. The others smacked Yankee in the head.

"They're not getting far," Jareth whispered, "I've put a force field around the entire island. They can't leave, but neither can we."

"What about other humans?" Ricochet asked.

"Doesn't affect humans--just us. We've no time to waste--we must split up and find Aladdin before the Duke does..."

"Wait," Zero glared at Jareth, "I don't trust you! You're working for the Duke!! We'll find him, just so you can kill him like you tried to kill me..."

"WHAT??" Byron screamed, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Byron jumped on the chairs and pounced on Jareth, sending both tumbling down the aisle. The others rushed to break it up...

"Hey!" the paramedic rushed to the melee, "What's going on?!"

"Nothing!" Earthling stopped him, "nothing. A little dispute over salary and screen-time, that's all. 'Who's got the better Bowie costume', and all that! Right..." Earthling growled at the pair, "boys?"

The two were separated and restrained. They glared at each other.

Byron to Jareth: "I'm prettier than you!"

Jareth to Byron: "Your hair looks like Jack coughed up on it!"

Jack: "Hey!"

"Do I have the call the police?" the paramedic said.

Jareth and Byron shrugged off their restrainers.

"No," they both said, without breaking their deadly gaze at each other. "We're fine."

"Good," the paramedic sighed, "I know a little about Bowie...which one of you is supposed to beZiggy Stardust?"

They all looked at each other sadly.

"How can you have a Bowie video with all his characters without Ziggy? Or the Thin White Duke?"

"Um, actually, they went outside for a smoke," Major Tom said, "WE were just about to fetch them for dinner...right, boys?"

A nervous disorganized chorus: "Right!" ""Yeah!" "Dinner!" "Tha's right.."

Major Tom, "Um, 'Jareth', why don't you stay here in case they come back? The rest of us will go look for them."

"I'll stay here, too," Major Celliers glared at Jareth.

"Me too," Halloween Jack said, glaring at the director, "I think Nigel looks traumatized."

Nigel shook.

Earthling whispered to the rest, "Look, whether or not the Goblin King is on the level, we need to find Aladdin, now! Boz, any ideas?"

Boz crouched under a seat, as not to arouse suspicion, "Negative. The database is out of order. If we were still in David's mind, I could track his bio-rhythms."

"So we go on foot," Berlin said. "How hard can it be to find a floating naked androgynous red-head genie?"

"This IS New York," Leon shrugged.

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/13/01 11:48 PM
Splitting Headache--Damage Control new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As the others went off in search for Aladdin...

"Ladies, gentlemen," Jareth addressed the confused crew. The band followed the ambulance to the hospital. "On behalf of David Bowie and his assorted personae, I deeply apologize for the inconvenience and confusion that all of this has caused. I assure you that this situation will be quickly resolved, and that no one will be permenantly harmed. As a token of our good will," a large basket filled with fresh peaches appeared in Jareth's arms, "please feel free to take a piece of fruit..."

"Hold it!" Major Celliers called out, "what's in those peaches?"

"Don't mind him, ladies and gentlemen," Jareth took Celliers aside, "Major Jaques Celliers is the suspicious sort--shell-shock from war, you see?"

Jareth whispered to the major: "Listen, little tin soldier, we don't want these people spreading the word about strange creatures popping out of Bowie's head. We are in enough trouble as it is--this could land the body in the insane asylum, or worse. I don't think humans take too kindly to supernatural phenomena--or its practioners. I've seen the Salem witch hunts, I've seen the Spanish inquisition, and I've seen the Holocaust. It's best we let these people 'forget'."

Jacques paused, "This won't hurt them, will it?"

"Of course not," Jareth said incredulously. "Now, be a good boy," he shoves the basket into Major's arms, "and distribute this peaches."

Major sighed indignantly, but saw the logic in Jareth's plan.

"Now, Nigel," Jareth walks up the stage stairs to where Halloween Jack and Grace had him tied up, "you've been a very, very bad boy," Jareth bends over Nigel's head authoritively, "what ever shall I do with you? I can't dump you in the Bog." Nigel shook in fear, whimpering behind a gag tied tightly over his mouth. "Jack?"

Celliers called, "Calm down, I'm handing out the damn peach..."

"Not you, you flower-eating faggot! I meant Halloween Jack...ow!" Jareth spat. Halloween Jack nipped at Jareth's knee, as the monach jumped back.

Halloween Jack: "Don't use the 6-letter "f" word, again. Ever. Understand?"

"Sorry," Jareth grumbled. "As I was saying, Diamond Doggie, what would do you?"

Jack smiled, "He's pretty..." Jack licked his lips, baring canine teeth, "...little sweet thing...Can I...play with him?"

Nigel screamed.

"Not yet," Jareth raised a finger. "I believe there is the little matter of some very dangerous photographs. Would you know anything about where we might find these, Nigel?" Jareth then loosened the gag.

"Bite me! I ain't telling you, you Nancy Wilson-look-a-like!"

"As you wish," Halloween Jack nipped Nigel's butt. Nigel squealed like a girl.

Out of the audience:
"Squeal like a pig, boy!"
"Drop 'em pants!"
"Get the ball gag!"
"Where's your rider crop, Jareth?"

Jareth chuckled throatly, "Oh, shameful! You're own crew..."

Nigel: "Oh, you are all soooooo fired!"

"You know, I have a gun," Celliers put down the empty basket and drew his rifle.

"No...OH NO NO NO!" Nigel trembled.

"Celliers, so crude!" Jareth shook his head. "I know how we can get our friend to talk...." For once, Celliers and Jareth shared a mutual wicked smile.

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
06/15/01 01:17 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

yum...torture....starbuck (can i marry Jack?)

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/20/01 02:19 AM
Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

3 A.M....

Zero flew over Manhattan. He assessed that Jareth's 'bubble' was about 50 feet above the island's highest point. He scanned the skies carefully for Aladdin...

Battery Park...Yankee and Ricochet searched the park, walking along the shoreline...

"Aladdin!" Ricochet called out.

"Wow..." Yankee could see the Statue of Liberty's torch from the shore.

"Yankee, pay attention! We're looking for Aladdin!" Ricochet snapped.

"Are we sure that beacon out there isn't Aladdin?" Yankee asked. He then climbed the rail and stood on top...

"Yank, get down!" Ricochet ran to grab him, but Yankee had already pitched forward as if to dive. He was bounced back by the invisible 'bubble' and was knocked back to the concrete.

"You stupid ass!" Ricochet picked Yankee up. "You could have hurt yourself....!"

"Look over there!" Yankee pointed above.

"Yes, the statue is pretty..."

"No, I saw a flash of red!" Yankee got up in the direction of Wall Street. Ricochet chased after....

Times Square....

"Christ, what happened to this place!?" Zane looked around the glittering crossroads.

"Meow, even the army recuitment office went glam," Dory pointed out. A passing car came withing inches of running over Dory's tail. Dory howled and jumped into Zane's arms.

"Careful, Dory, watch the dress!" Zane put him gently back down. "See anything?"

"No. Tommy?" Dory called to Newton.

Newton looked southward down 7th and Broadway.

"Newton?" Zane called.

Newton didn't respond.

"Newton!" Zane shouted. "Do you see Aladdin?"

Dory nipped at Newton's pant leg, but Newton stared, wide-eyed in wonder...

"Newton," Dory said. "Stop watching the Jumbotron and help us!"

Newton breathed, "This...is the most... beautiful thing I've ever seen..."

"Oh, brrrother," Dory purred. "Zane, help?"

Zane and Dory picked up Newton by the arms and feet and they continued the search....


"Ach, this is hopeless!" Berlin sighed. "This city is too big! We'll never find him!"

"We could have used Jareth as another pair of wings, or Halloween Jack to scale the rooftops," Leon thought out loud. "Hmmm?" Leon ducked into an alley and pulled down the fire escape ladder. "I'm going up."

"Good idea," Berlin followed Leon upwards. After a couple of stories, Berlin was winded.

"You alright?" Leon asked.

"Fine," Berlin puffed. "I'm not used...to such physical...exertion. Punishment..for my excesses, I suppose."

"Just take it easy, I'll wait for ya," Leon said. Once on the rooftops, Leon and Berlin got a better view.

"Hey, I think I see something over there!" Leon pointed to another building across the alley. The gap between the building was at about 10 feet.

Berlin squatted down, out of breath, "Great...After all that...we got to go...back down!"

"I can jump it."

"Are you insane!!???" Berlin shouted hoarsely. "We're 5 stories up!"

Leon found some clothesline on the roof, made a lasso, twirled it above his head, and tossed it across the gap. The loop caught on the top of the fire escape ladder on the other building.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Berlin was amazed.

"I've scaled plenty of buildings to duck the cops. All because I'm trying to do my art, you know? I mean tagging ain't armed robbery..." Leon grabbed Berlin's arm, "Let's go."

"Oh, no!" Berlin shook his head. "This is dangerous! This is insane."

Leon smiled devilishly, "Of course it is, mate. We're Bowies. No grab on." Leon stood on the edge, as Berlin wrapped his arms securely around his shoulders from behind. Berlin shut his eyes tightly, as they swung across the gap.


"Damn, Berlin, don't scream!"

No more than ten seconds later, Leon had dropped Berlin on the rooftop of the other building.

"Ha!" Leon said, proudly, "Tell Jimmy you swung across an alley like Tarzan on the shoulders of a crazy mutha-f**kin' mulatto!"

Berlin opened one eye, "Crazy mother-f**kin'....What's that?" He saw what looked like red hair behind a chicken coup. Leon and Berlin ran, "Aladdin!"

No Aladdin. A scarecrow with a red wig.

"I...am going to kill you, Leon, if it wouldn't be called a bias crime," Berlin fainted.

Fifth Avenue..."We're supposed to be looking for Aladdin!" Nana shouted.

Liza, Veronica, and Screamin' Lord Byron were mesmerized by the windows of Versace.

"We ARE looking!" Liza pouted. "Aladdin is one of most glamourous among us. Why wouldn't he do a little window shopping?"

"But the stores aren't even open yet!" Nana reasoned.

"Oh, I see it!" Veronica gasped.

"Aladdin?" Nana asked.

"No, that turquoise python-skin strapless I'd been telling you all about." Liza and Byron "ooh"ed and "aah"ed.

"There you are!" Algeria Touchshriek tapped on Nana's shoulder. "I've been looking for you girls."

Nana stared coldly, "I'm sure you were. Don't make me use my cane."

"Now, now, my dear," Touchshriek smiled a near-toothless smile, "we haven't had dinner first."

"Have you seen Aladdin?" Nana asked.

"No," Mr. Touchshriek said, "but...um...I was thinking..."

"What?" Nana snapped curtly.

"Perhaps...you and I...take a walk about the park..."

"This is no time for a date, Algeria! No go away and don't bother us again!"

Touchshriek sighed sadly, and looked downward, "Oh...fine. It's alright, I suppose." He started walking northward, then stopped, "In my time, a gentlemen did not allow a lady to go unescorted."

"What am I, you little toad?" Byron turned his nose up at Algeria.

Touchshriek frowned, "I said a gentleman."

"You old fart!" Byron screamed...

"Leave him alone, Byron," Liza grabbed him by the arm. "Let's go down to Saks." Liza dragged the indignant Byron away, as Veronica and Nana followed. Touchshriek slowly hobbled down the opposite direction. Nana looked over her shoulder, frowned, and said, "Girls, I'll meet you when we find Aladdin."

To the girls and Byron's suprise, Nana quickly hobbled to Touchshriek. To Algeria's amazement, Nana took him by the hand, and the two slowly made their way to Central Park. "Now just remember, no hanky-panky," Nana shook her cane.

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 06/20/01 02:47 AM (server time).

(electric tomato)
06/21/01 01:20 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

just love this story...really, please submit it to like sundance, make a movie of this rockin rollin bitch!!!! starbuck

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

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