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   >> I Was An Artiste
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Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
08/09/01 04:29 PM
Splitting Headache--Wake Up, You Sleepy Head... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

At a hospital on the East Side...

"Uuugghhh...."

"Dad!!"

"David!!"

David opened his eyes and blinked several times, letting his eyes focus to the early morning light, "Wh...wha' 'appened?"

Before he could get an answer, his wife threw her arms around him, sobbing, "Oh my GOD, I thought I was going to lose you!" Then she grabbed him by the neck screaming, "DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

"Iman! Calm down!" Duncan firmly put his hands on her shoulders.

Iman wiped the tears from her eyes, and sniffed, "I am sorry...How do you feel, darling?"

"My headache's gone. Did I finish the shoot?"

Iman shook her head, "No, darling, Earl said you fainted on stage. You're in a hospital, in the ICU. The doctor ran some tests to check if you had a stroke."

"Dad, you really need to quit the cigarettes," Duncan said.

"I did quit the cigarettes," David retorted indignantly. "That's how I wound up in this mess."

"Well," Iman said, "I don't care if the record company wants a video, you're not working until you get some rest."

On the room television, "...this is News Channel 4, Today in New York...reviewing our top stories...a rock icon is rushed to a nearby hospital...strange sightings of flying UFO's over Manhattan, one described as a 'gold angel' and a naked man with red hair with two others swinging on a rope..."
***************************************************************************

In the woods of Central Park...


Newton watched the news from the hot dog vender's portable TV, "Hey, Leon, Berlin, Zero...that's you, mates!"

The vender said, "Hey, buddy, ya wanna buy a hot dog or what?"

"Oh no, thank you. Halloween Jack wouldn't like it if I was eating dog."

The vendor glared at him, "Are you a kook or somethin'?"

"No, no, Dory's the kook," he points downward.

"Sorry, surrr," Dory purrs, "He's not frrrom arrround here-urr. Newton," Dory tugs on Newton's pantleg, "Come back over here-urr and don't bothurrr the nice gentleman."

"Hey!" Newton sees the vendor screaming and running away with the cart, "Come back with the TV! Ow...! Dory, don't bite! I'm coming...."

Dory pushes Newton back into the deep woods of Central Park, where the others congregated. Liza, Veronica and Byron were sitting in a line, styling each other's hair. Zero polished his wings. Nathan wrote in his pocket journal. Earthling, Monte, Ricochet, Yankee and Zane played cards. Leon and Berlin were napping at opposite sides of a tree. Pierrot swung on the tree branches like a monkee. Major Tom was analyzing the air quality. Algeria and Nana had tea...

Aladdin was tied to a tree, still unconscious, for his own protection.

"Heh heh," Tin looked up and chuckled, "big man like that scared off by a little pussy like you."

"I didn't scare him and don't call me a pussy!" Newton sulked.

Tin: "No, I meant...sigh...never mind..."

Screaming Lord Byron mutters to the girls, "It's true. TV does rot the brain." The girls chuckled.

"Here, Newton!" Earthling called, "I got Boz to hook up to satellite TV." Boz now had a screen in his belly and little satellite dishes for ears. Boz's lips moved in sync with the sound, "...rock legend David Bowie collapsed on the set of his latest video in Greenwich Village last night. Bowie, 54, was rushed to a nearby hospital, after experiencing some severe headaches. Oddly, any crew member we tried to contact said they 'don't remember!'"

Crew member on TV: "Look, it was a long shoot...no breaks...it was all pretty traumatic...honestly, it's all a blur after he fainted..."

Reporter: "Family and bandmates are at the hospital right now. However, the video's director, Nigel McCool, is nowhere to be found..."

"Does that mean Jareth and the others left the theatre?" Zane asked.
***************************************************************************

Walking through Central Park, the remaining Bowies chose to keep a low profile. Jareth provided Baby Grace with an ankle-length, high-collared, full-sleeved rose-patterned grey gown. She also had long gloves to conceal the stitches. Her hair was tied back with a bow. The Goblin King, himself, wore a black trenchcoat, black pants, and a wide-brimmed black hat, with only two curls of white-blond hair showing. Grace held Halloween Jack--who had fully transformed into a large dog--by a leash. Passers-by might mistake them for an Hasidic-Jewish father and daughter, walking their dog. Major Celliers walked a few feet behind them, still in fatigues, holding a briefcase in one hand. Jareth 'insisted' that Celliers hide his gun into one of his magic crystals, since carrying a concealed weapon was a crime here.

"Still don't trust me, Major?" Jareth peeked over his shoulder.

"Not as far as I can toss you," Celliers answered.

"Don't worry," the King clicked his tongue, "I won't use your own gun against you. Besides, if I wanted to kill you, I would have already."

They walk in silence.

Jareth spoke again, without turning his head, "Major, do you still think what we did to the director was...unethical?"

"'Unethical' is not the word I would use, Your Evilness," Celliers said, with a tinge of sarcasm.

"Tut, tut!" Jareth stopped, as did Grace and Halloween Jack after, "I am only as every bit as evil as you."

"Me!?" Celliers said. "You kidnap babies, hold them for ransom, turn them into goblins, abuse your subjects--physically and emotionally--and furthermore, you mentally tortured, threatened to kill, and attempted to seduce a minor!" Celliers glances at Grace, but she looks downward.

"Major, for shame! In my country, 13 is the legal age of courtship. But you are more evil than I..."

"Why?" Celliers was fuming.

Grace: "Because Major is a lawyer."

Jareth chuckled, "Out of the mouths of babes....funny, Gracie, no. That's not why.."

"If it's about the kiss--I kissed that Jap on the CHEEK! It meant nothing! He was going to kill an innocent man..."

"I care little about your silly human hang-ups about same-sex affections..."

"So what?? So I set my kid brother up on a prank? He didn't get seriously hurt! Not really..."

"But he was hurt. Wasn't he, Major?"

"Well," Major cooled off a bit, "he never sang again...."

"And why didn't big brother," Jareth pouted, "come and save him? You did before. What happened? Tired of playing hero?"

"N..no..." Celliers stammered.

"Or did you secretly want to teach the little canary a lesson--trust no one. Lovely lesson, I say."

"But I'm NOT evil!" Celliers screamed.

"Ah, but you are," Jareth rocked on his heels, "in your own defense, Mr. Attorney, you've also provided your own prosicution. You deliberately nominated your own brother for hazing, abandon him, then out of some contrived guilt or shame, you join to army to become the 'hero' you failed to be. What happened instead is you became more cold-blooded AND blood-thirsty...."

"Shut up..." Celliers growls.

"THEN, to compensate for the fact that you have no honor, you rob another man of his AND toy with his affections at the same time! And you still come off as the big hero. Bravo!" he clapped. "So you see, you...are...evil."

Celliers swung his fist hard at the Goblin King's jaw, knocking him onto the pavement. Halloween Jack lunged at the enraged soldier, but Celliers kicked him away.

Celliers stood over the sore but smirking goblin monach, "You SON OF A BITCH! Humans are just toys to you, aren't they!!!??? Push a button and watch them go off..."

Jareth got up, his face went from smug to deadly serious, "Well, Major Jacques Celliers, if you don't want to play with me, I'll just take my ball and go home..." With a wave, Grace vanished into a ball of light and Jareth into an owl. They two flew off somewhere.

Cellier's face was beet-red and he was breathing hard. He wanted to cry....

"Sorry I jumped you," Halloween Jack said, recovering. "I just tried to stop you two from killing each other..."

"He's got my gun." Celliers wipes his brow. "What about you, doggy? Which side are you on?"

Jack said, simply, "Nobody's. Can I see the dirty pictures now?"
***************************************************************************
Jareth and Grace appeared at the Duke's hideout. The King reappeared in a black leather body-suit, black high-boots, black gloves, and a black split cape around his shoulders and neck. It gave him the appearance of an insect--a beetle--with his hair more formed into quills.

"Good news," the Duke greeted him, "the body is awake."

Ramona approached Grace, "Hello, pretty one..." Grace ducked behind Jareth as he raised an arm in defense of her.

"Get your own toys, crone," Jareth said. Ramoma hissed.

"Enough!" The Duke snapped. "With all the pawns in place, let's let the body rest. When the time comes, I will begin the game..."

To be continued...



Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
08/16/01 01:50 AM
Splitting Headache--David Who? new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"What game are we playing, Master?" Grace asked Jareth, as they stood in the presence of the Duke, "Is in on the Playstation?"

"Silence!" the Duke bellowed, "Jareth! How dare you bring an Outsider here!"

Jareth said, "Baby Grace Blue is my servant and anything said here will be kept in strictest confidentiality. Correct, Grace?"

"Yes, Master," she answers firmly.

"Yes, of course," the Duke coughs in his throat. "I'm sure she...serves you quite well. Am I right, my dark angel? Ramona?"

Ramona stood still as a pillar, green face turned five shades paler, in utter amazement of a living dead girl.

"Ramona A. Stone! Answer when I speak to you!" the Duke snapped.

Ramona screamed at Jareth, "You...idiot!!! You've ruined the greatest piece of modern art of the 20th century! Utterly ruined!!!"

Grace cowered behind the Goblin King, as he wrapped his cape protectively around her. Jareth smirked, "You think rather highly of yourself as an artist, don't you, Ms. Stone?"

"The nerve of you!" Ramona paled again, "Are you accusing me of..."

"ENOUGH!!!" Bright flashes of lightning and thunder shook the room like an earthquake. "Jareth, go back to the others in Central Park and watch them. Particularly Aladdin--don't let him out of your sight."

"I can't stand them," Jareth sneered, "particularly that sexually-confused soldier and that ex-con...I can just as easily watch them through my crystals," Jareth formed an orb. With a small bolt, the Duke shattered the orb, sending shards flying at the goblin's face. Jareth flinched as he felt some of the pieces cut him.

"Perhaps I haven't been clear," the Duke said cooly, as Jareth wipes some blue opalescent blood from his face, "we cannot go back to David's mind unless all personas are together and in agreement. If even one of us refuses to return, no one goes home. I need you to keep the others in order and away from David while I negotiate our homecoming."

"But David doesn't know we exist," Jareth asked, "how do we know he even misses us?"

"Trust me," the corner of Duke's mouth lifted a bit, "he'll know."
***************************************************************************
"THESE are the pictures?" Nathan shrugged. "I've seen eigth-grade anatomy books more erotic."

Liza: "I think they're lovely. I mean, they're nicer than Playboy."

Berlin: "German porno's better."

"It's not porno," Earthling said, "These are art studies. They're meant to make an important statement."

"And that statement would be?" Halloween Jack asked.

"Um?" Earthling scratched his beard, "Ricochet?"

Ricochet: "Don't ask me. Yankee?"

Yankee: "Wot?"

Ricochet: "Zane?"

Zane: "Mmm...uh...fur is murder?"

Leon: "So much for 'important statement.'"

"Hey!!" a police officer calls to the Bowies, "what's going on out there?"

The Bowies quickly hide the photos in Major Cellier's case. Monte approaches the officer, "Oh, we're just enjoying a day at the park."

"Are you all together? Because you should have a permit for groups larger than 20...Is that..a lion?" The officer points to Dory.

"No, no, no!" Zane jumps in, chuckling, "that's just a costume. Honest. We're actors."

Earthing (to himself): "And he said it with a straight face, too." Then he says out loud: "Officer, we're having a vigil. David Bowie is sick, and..."

Zane finishes, "We're dressed like this in honor of him, in hopes for a speedy recovery."

Officer, "Oh. David Bowie. He's still around? Anyway, I can't have you people all together like this. I need to have you..."

Nana creeps forward, "Excuse me, Officer, but we bought several dozen doughnuts this morning. Would you care to have one?" She smiled so warmly.

"Oh, wow!" the officer smiles and takes a glazed, "well, OK. You folks seem harmless. Wierd...but harmless. I'll say you're two groups of ten or so and be on my way. Oh, and keep those two dogs on a leash, please?" And he was on his way.

Dory sniffed: "Hiss...He called me a dog! A filthy, stinkin' dog! The nerrrve! The gaul...!"

Halloween Jack growled: "What was that, pussy?"

Dory: "Uh...nothing..." Jack barked, and another dog-and-cat chase commenced around the lake.
***************************************************************************
"Well, Mr. Jones," the doctor says, "The tests can't find any reason for your collapse. No stroke, no illness. I think you were just having a bad case of withdrawal."

"That's it?" Iman was puzzled. "Isn't there anything to be done?"

"No, ma'am, your husband is perfectly healthy. I commend him for quitting his habit. There's nothing medically that needs to be done. Still, we could have David stay here for another day, just for observation, in case anything else occurs."

David, Iman and Duncan thank the doctor as he exits the room. David said, "Iman, darling, you look exhausted. Why doesn't Duncan take you home--I'm going to take a nap for a few hours."

Iman: "I can't..."

David kissed her on the cheek: "It will be OK. Tell Alex 'Daddy's OK' for me."

Iman kissed him: "Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Glad you're still here, Dad," Duncan hugs his father as he walks Iman home. Left to himself for the moment, David reclines and closes his eyes for a nap...

A few minutes later, a nurse's aide comes to take David's vital signs. The aide, a young woman greets him saying, "Good morning, Mr. Bowie! It's an honor to meet you."

David has a puzzled look on his face, "Oh, my dear, you must have the wrong room. Who's Mr. Bowie?"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 08/17/01 06:19 PM (server time).



Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
08/30/01 00:47 AM
Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"David Bowie?" the nurse's aide asked, a bit confused, "Aren't you the famous musician?"

David rubbed his temples, "That name...it sounds familiar...but I can't remember writing any songs....I'm very sorry but..."

The aide took his pressure thinking, "Poor man, he must have some amnesia" "It's alright, Mr. Jones. I'm sorry if I upset you."

"Oh, no, young lady!" David smiled, "I had a nasty fainting spell and it's probably some temporary side effect." I hope, he thinks.

After confirming his vitals signs were all normal, she excused herself and went on to the next patient. David sat alone in his room, now worrying. I know I'm famous for something, but what?, he asks himself, I don't remember performing...or writing a song...in fact, I can't remember any artistic output since...I was 19! David rest his head on his knees. He switched on the TV...

TV Reporter: Reviewing our top story: Rock icon David Bowie was rushed to Bellevue Hospital after falling unconscious at a music video shoot...

"Music video?"
David thinks, "I think I've done a few...but I don't remember...I remember complaining about doing them..."

Reporter: " Bowie, known for portraying such colorful characters on stage as Ziggy Stardust and the Thin White Duke..."

"Ziggy? Who's Ziggy? When was I ever Ziggy? When was I the Duke?"
David screamed in his head. The next voice he heard was his own...or was it?

"How dare you forget me!!" The room darkened, and the Duke appeared at the foot of the bed. "I can forgive you for forgetting such a laughable creature as Z...Zi..." The Duke looked as if he'd gag on the name...

"Ziggy." Ramona appeared, closing the room door behind her.

Duke sneered, "What did I say about saying that name in my presence?"

"So spank me."

Another voice, like Bowie's: "Is that a request, Ramona?"

"Who the devil are you?" David shouted.

"Quite right, old bean," Jareth sat in the window sill, legs stretched across. Baby Grace stood silently by his side. "Who the devil."

"Can't you remember me," The Duke slightly over David, staring him in the eyes, "I am your greatest creation. I am the Thin White Duke."

David arched an eyebrow: "Who?"

The Duke was aghast: "Wh..what??"

"Hey, I asked you!"

"How dare you...!"

"Ah, ah ah!" Jareth shook a finger, "Temper, temper, Duke. He cannot remember you because you are the embodiment of his memories of the Duke--both personality-wise and artistically. Without you, that part of his memory is missing."

"And you are?" David asked, annoyed.

"King Jareth of the Goblin Kingdom, Grand Wizard of the Underground," the goblin king bows courtly, "You made a movie..."

Ramona: "...and let's never speak of it again." Jareth glared at her. Ramona tossed her head, "I am Ramona A. Stone, a representative of your other masterpiece, Outside."

"Me too! I'm Grace!"

"Quiet, whelp!" Ramona snapped.

Jareth: "Stop yelling at my servants. Only I'm allowed to do that."

"Wrong, hairbrain, she was mine first!" Ramona spat.

"You lost her, I found her."

"That's not fair!"

"Oh, how many times I've heard that..."

"SHUT UP!!" the Duke zapped the squabbling pair, sending them to opposite ends of the room.

David couldn't believe what he saw. He grabbed his call bell, frantically paging a nurse.

"No one is coming, David." the Duke cooly said.

"Nurse!! Security!!" David yelled, "Help me!!!" He grabbed the phone, but there was no dial tone.

"Ramona, dearest, open the door," the Duke commanded. Ramona obeyed. Outside, the whole floor--doctors, nurses, patients, visitors--stood still as statues. It was eerily quiet.

"It would be best if we could...talk uninterrupted," the Duke said.

David shook his head with his heads, "I'm going mad...Fifty-four years later, I'm going stark raving mad! I'm going to die in this hospital!"

"You're not going mad," the Duke perched on the edge of the bed, like a raven staring down its prey, "Whether you would like to believe it or not, this is very real. Tell me, David Bowie, do you remember anything of your life in the past..oh..35 years?"

David thought out loud, "I remember..Hermione...taking her to '2001'...I remember Dad dying when I was away, somewhere...I remember...Angie...and Zowie...Ronno...Coco...Jimmy and my little hideaway in Berlin..."

The Duke, impatiently, "Yes, yes, but what about performing? Being on stage...putting on your eyeliner...singing...composing...creating?"

David sat in silence for almost a minute. "No. Nothing."

Jareth asked, "What about being in front of a camera?"

"No."

Jareth formed an orb, that formed again into a pack of Gitanes. He tossed it to the Duke, who caught it and asked, "What about these?"

David looked at the box, "Haven't smoked them in years...wait, I was giving up smoking..."

"And that's how you wound up here!" the Duke extends his arms outward, "When you created me, you smoke ten packs of these!" he giggled the box. "Now that you have cut down to almost nothing you..."

"Did a duet with Puff Daddy," Ramona sneered.

"Made a radio station for babies," Jareth smirked.

"Recycled your old 60's songs," Grace added, with none of the malice of the older three.

"All of which are in the toilet of your creative arsenal!" The Duke exclaimed. "You see, your body was not meant to go without cigarettes. Your vast creative powers were not meant to go without, either. It is up to you to restore the balance, restore your creativity, and resume the smoking."

David glared at the Duke with a you-have-got-to-be-kidding look, "You're full of crap."

The Duke sighed: "Fine," he dismounted the bed, "Be stubborn. It is, after all, one of your best qualities." He then slid to David's side, staring into his eyes, almost nose to nose. "But I am the one who is preventing you from recovering your memories. You'll never remember any of your songs ever again. You can listen to your albums an infinite number of times and never remember a note. Thus, you'll never sing them again. You may never write or sing any other song, ever."

"Bullshit, watch!" David took a deep breath, prepared to give the mightest note he's ever sang. He let out...nothing. Just a dull wheeze. Stunned, David tried again. Nothing.

The Duke laughed his humorless laugh, the others laughed as well, taunting him.

The Duke clicked his tongue, "David...poor David. What EVER will you do without that wonderful voice of ours?" David gulped hard. Duke continued, "Now, I know what you're probably thinking:" in a taunting voice, " 'I don't ever have to sing again. I'm rich. I have so many other talents.' But you know, don't you? John knew. Peggy knew. Even your...wife," the Duke chokes again, "knows. You are a performer. If you can't perform, you are as good as dead." David holds his face in his hands.

"Return to the cigarettes, David Bowie," the Duke leaves the Gitanes at the bedside, "I left you some--they're the only decent thing you've ever had between your lips. Return to them, and all will be restored."

David looks up, and the group are already gone. Outside is the usually noise of beeping machines and staff chatter. A nurse opens the door, "Mr. Jones, are you alright?"

David stares into blank space, "Not exactly. I feel I've got a lot on my mind..."

To be continued



Don't understand me, just love me

sparkle
(wild eyed peoploid)
08/30/01 02:29 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow, I love this story. Take the cigs David, please!
Write more soon!

sailing down the river alone

Starbuck
(crash course raver)
08/31/01 01:42 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

BRAVO!!!! starbuck (nuff said...but i still dont want him to smoke)

"Once made equal to man, woman becomes superior." --Socrates c. 469-399 B.C.

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/14/01 08:27 PM
Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Note from the author: This story will continue to take place in a pre-attack New York City. As far as this story is concerned, it has not happened. I dedicate this next installment to everyone in my hometown
**************************************************************************
Central Park....

"What are we doin'?" Tin asked.

"Five card stud, joker's wild. Pay attention," Zane answered.

"No, I mean what are we doin' sittin' on our arses when our body's in a coma somewhere?" Tin said. "The T.V says he's in Bellevue so let's go!"

Earthling made a gesture of ringing a desktop bell, " 'Hi, information, we're David Bowie...most of us anway. We had an out-of-body experience and we'd like to be reunited with him, if it's at all possible!'" He finished with a sarcastic grimace.

"Yeah, that would be kind of hard to swallow," Tin scratched his beard. "Still, I'm gettin' tired of hearing the ladies argue over who's prettier."

Liza combs Veronica's golden locks, "You're the prettiest, Ronnie. Your golden hair is divine!"

Veronica combs Byron's glittering strands, "Oh, no, dah-ling--You're the prettiest! I'd give my eye-teeth for cleavage like yours!"

Byron pouted: "I thought I'm the prettiest!"

Liza and Veronica giggle, "You're the prettiest boy!"

Zane play-pouted, "Hey! I thought I was the prettiest!"

Byron looks down his nose, "What would make YOU think such a thing?"

Zane tosses his hair, "I don't need any make-up because I have natural beauty!"

"Ptoo! Zane! Watch it! That went into my mouth!" Ricochet spat.

"This is f**kin' stupid!" Tin stood up, "I don't care how crazy I'll look! I'm gettin' our damn body back!'

"But we're missin' Ramona," Nathan said.

"And the Duke," Ricochet added.

"And Jareth," Monte added again.

"Let him rot!!" Major Celliers leaned against a tree fuming, "He's an arrogant, back-bitting bastard! The body's better off without him!"

"Like the body was better off without me?" Zero spoke.

Celliers' temper cooled, "No, Zero, this is different. You never harmed anyone, but Jareth tried to kill you!"

"And how many have YOU killed?" Jareth materialized with Grace. She held Halloween Jack with a leash and muzzle; Jareth held Hunky Dory by the scruff of his neck. Both struggled in protest.

Celliers curled his fists, "Come to peck at my liver, vulture?"

"I have better ways of spending my precious energy," Jareth roughly dropped Dory, as the sphinx scurried behind the other Bowies. "Tin, you'd be happy to know that David is awake..."

Every Bowie jumped up and gathered around the Goblin King. Everyone shouted at once in a flurry of worry, "Is he OK?" "Are we going home?" "What did he say?"

"QUIET!!" Jareth raised his hands, "you will all be happy to know that thanks to the wise and powerful Thin White Duke, the beautiful Ramona and myself, we will all be returning home very soon."

"The Duke?" Zane crossed his arms. "Where is he?"

"Where's Ramona?" Detective Adler and Leon said together, both anxiously.

Jareth said, "We've paid the body a visit at the hospital, and unfortunately, he doesn't remember any of us."

The Bowies gasped and whispered to each other 'why?'

"It makes sense," Major Tom said, "We all represent a piece of David's memory--music, movies, etc."

"But it doesn't make sense," Berlin interjected. "Ziggy's dead, and Bowie remembers him. On the other hand, the Duke's alive and the body doesn't remember any experience associated with him."

"Master has a theory," Grace peeked out of Jareth's cape, "You see..." But Jareth covered Grace's mouth and shushed her, "Quiet! Not here...I can't talk about it where the Duke can hear us..."

"Speaking of whom," Earthling was getting impatient, "Where is he? What did you three do at the hospital?"

"And where's Ramona?" Leon insisted again.

Jareth sighed in his normal annoyed tone, "Using the power of diplomacy...What did you do to Aladdin?" Jareth approached to where Aladdin was tied up, giggling, "How inhumane..." He brushed a hand gently over the genie's fire-red hair...

Celliers grabbed that black-gloved and jerked it away from Aladdin Sane, "What do YOU know about humanity? And answer our damn question!!!"

Jaques Celliers is a strong, sturdy man. Compared to him, Jareth looks quite fragile, like a porcelain doll come to life. Pale and willowy, the Goblin King would never win in a physical fight with the battle-hardened Major. But with a seemingly light, effortless swish of his restrained arm, he threw the Major into a tree ten yards away!

"Don't...ever...put your filthy human hands on me," Jareth's eyes darkened, resembling pools of dried blood. The goblin wizard then drew an orb, containing the rifle. The orb popped as the rifle lightly landing in Jareth's leather-clad hands. Cocking the weapon and aiming it, he smirked, "I warned you what would happen if I caught you without your rifle."

Prof. Adler drew his gun, "Drop it, wizard!" The others drew knives.

"Tsk, tsk, Detective. I'm not really going to shoot him," Jareth shook his head. He then took the rifle and crashed it against his knee. The iron weapon shattered like a brittle twig. Celliers gasped in horror. Jareth brushed off his gloves, "As much as it pains me, I need all of us alive."

Enraged, Celliers lunged at Jareth, beating him with his fists. The other Bowies jumped and tried to pull the two brawlers apart.

"Stop it, you two! Major, Jareth!" Zane pleaded with the two, but these are two men with volcanic tempers--dangerous when crossed.

With all of the distraction, Halloween Jack pulled away from Baby Grace and chased Dory up a tree. Halloween Jack tried to nip at Dory, but his muzzle prevented him from taking a bite. Grace tried in vain to pull Jack away on his leash....

"STOP!!!!" A brilliant flash of light blinded everyone, and Aladdin Sane was freed from his restraints. The tree he was tied to was reduced to ash. Aladdin's eyes were full of tears, "Please...stop it! No more fighting! I can't stand it!" And immediately, all combatants stopped cold, gazing at Aladdin. Police sirens were heard in the near distance.
"Wonderful. Now look at what you've done," Jareth constricted his island-wide bubble to enclose the group. When the police passed by to investigate the flash of light, they only saw a burnt tree.

"Musta been lightning," one officer said.

"Wierd, it's still sunny out," the other said, and they moved on.

The bubble made the Bowies invisible to everyone except themselves. Aladdin fell to his knees sobbing. Celliers shook off the dirt and gently approached the weeping genie, "I'm sorry, Aladdin. I didn't mean to upset you, but he..." He glared angrily at Jareth.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!" Aladdin screamed. "You're an intelligent, educated man, Major. You are ALL intelligent people!" He looks to everyone with blue-tear-filled eyes. "Must you all solve your problems by ripping each other to shreds!!??"

Earthling coughed nervously, "We weren't all fighting..."

"Don't contradict me!!" Aladdin lashed at Earthling with a verbal punch usually characteristic of the Duke. He addressed everyone, "Maybe not always with fists--but you tear each other down with words, too. You may think it's all innocent and fun, it's not. You hurt others, sometimes, too. You make cruel jokes about each other. You judge other's worth--as an artist and as people--by your own measuring sticks--yourselves. You call others inferior. Or ugly. Or weak. You exclude others from your group because you don't even know them, or are too scared to know them." As he says this, Liza, Veronica and Nana bow their heads in shame. The Bowies stand silently. Aladdin shook his head sadly, "I've prayed that Ziggy would come back to me, someday. But the Duke is too powerful. He's gotten into everyone, whether we know it or not. As long as he exists, Ziggy can never come back!!" Aladdin tried to fly away again, but the bubble would not let him. He banged his delicate fists against the invisible dome.

"Where are you going, Aladdin?" Jareth said, after a long, uncomfortable silence. "Going to hide away? Curl up in some ivory tower until we all become perfect beings like you?"

Aladdin looked down, "Stop it. Just stop hurting others. Release me, now!" Aladdin threw red and blue bolts of lightning in a desperate attempt to escape."

The goblin king softly sang:

"No one can blame you,
For walking away..."


Aladdin stopped his attack...

"Too much rejection...oh, no...
No love injection....no, no, no...
Life can't be easy,
It's not always swell,
Don't tell me truth hurts, Aladdin Sane,
'Cause it hurts like hell!!!"
He added extra emphesis on the last two lines.

Aladdin floated gently back down, "That song...I've...I've never heard it like that before."

Algeria Touchshriek said, "Tha's 'cause 'e changed the lines!" The Bowies shook their heads at the absent-minded shopkeep.

Aladdin, "No...that's not it...I thought it was some silly pop song."

Jareth, "Now who's being critical. Look at me, Aladdin Sane. Who do you see?"

Aladdin shrugged, "The Goblin King."

"Aladdin," the king shook a finger. "Look closer. Who do you see?"

Aladdin stared intently at the king for a long time, "The Duke...and me."

"And thus...Master's theory," Grace said. Eveyone else looked confused.

" 'Scuse me," Nathan interrupted, "but how's Jareth lookin' like Duke and Aladdin got ANYTHING to do with David?"

Jareth: "I don't have a lot of time to explain. The Duke gave David a pack of cigarettes--Gitanes." Gasps of horror echo through the bubble.

Zero: "How do we know YOU'RE not the Duke's spy?"

Aladdin said, "Because Jareth stopped the Duke from killing me on the rooftop." Everyone looked to Jareth, stunned.

Jareth bowed his head, his white spikes of hair covering his face, "Look. The Duke only thinks I work with him. He seems to think that I won't betray him because I'm afraid of him. This bubble will shield us from his surveilance. So listen closely," everyone gathered around, "because this is the only way we can get back home..."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

artist_in_a_tunnel
(electric tomato)
09/15/01 09:48 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts new [re: Kristin Machina]  

oooh, give me more, give me more, give me so much more!

if ignorance be bliss, than bliss is sin
ape men with metal parts

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/27/01 11:33 PM
Splitting Headache--Lunch Break new [re: Kristin Machina]  

OK, here's a quickie...they'll be more tomorrow..
*********************************************************************
"Grrrrrrr...." a growl came from Halloween Jack.

Jareth turned up his slender nose, "Don't growl at me, you filthy curr!"

"Uh, I didn't," Jack said with a quizzical look on his face.

"Grrrrrr...." it still came from Halloween Jack, only lower...

"Um," Jack licked his lips, "it's my belly."

Hunky Dory apprehensively creeped under Zane's skirt...

Zane: "Dory, get out of there! Go hide in Earthling's coat."

Tin Machine, "Trying to pass up a pussy between your legs, Zane?" That witty line earned Tin a whack on the head with Nana's cane.

Nana: "For shame, Mr. Machine! There are ladies present! And...Algeria! That wasn't funny!"

Poor Mr. Touchshriek was beside himself with asthmatic giggles. Then his stomach rumbled, too.

Soon came the wave of rumbles from the group.

"I'm hungry," Grace pouted.

"Not now!" Aladdin Sane said, "The Goblin King was about to tell us how the get home!"

Jareth shook his head, annoyed, "There is a troubling lack of focus among the Bowies. Now if could all just pay attention and..."

Boz, "Hypoglycemia-may-impair-mental-function, plus-the-added-discomfort-of-a-stomach-churning-nothing-but-acid, not-to-mention-the-potential-internal-injury..."

Liza said, cheerfully, "It's agreed then! Let's talk over lunch!"

Aladdin: "I'm not hungry."

Jareth: "Me neither."

Major Celliers scowled, "Being around HIM," pointing to the wizard, "ruins my appetite!"

Zero: "Mine too."

Yankee, "I've written my best stuff on an empty stomach..."

Earthling stomped his foot. A sonic boom shook the ground underneath Jareth's dome, and knocked all Bowies to their collective behinds!

Nathan staggered back up, "Earthling!"

Earthling, "Sorry, but I don't like using my special ability too often. It feels like a waste of energy. Aladdin," he addressed the genie, unaffected since Aladdin can float, "you wanna bring us all together, right?"

Aladdin nodded.

"Well, then, a meal is the perfect setting! Break some bread and mend some bridges."

Newton scratched his wig, "But we couldn't go over any bridges. We couldn't leave the island!"

Earthling: "Figure of speech, mate. Now can we put aside all the bullshit and get something to eat?"

There was a long, thoughful pause.

Major Tom: "I've saved some food packets from my capsule, in emergencies--proteiin pills, Vitamin droplets, evaporated milk--Oh, I've got a toothpaste-like container that's really a lovely ham sandwich..."

The Bowies: "Uh, no thanks..." "Thanks, no, Major..."

Then, Pierrot made a series of gestures--he appeared to be tossing a large disk over his head and spinning it around. The disk gets larger and larger...

"Pizza!" Yankee shouts! Pierrot smiles and nods, then mimes a pie falling on his face. Yankee says, "Of course, this city is known for great pizza!"

Jareth sneered, "I don't like pizza."

Berlin folded his arms, "You've probably never HAD pizza."

Jareth: "That's how I know I don't like it," he stubbornly folded his cape around him.

Earthling: "All in favor of pizza, raise your hands."

Everyone did--except the Goblin King.

Major Celliers smiled mischieviously, "All in favor of instituting cannibalism, starting with one over-coiffed, tight-wearing fairy-tale outcast..." the Bowie closed in on...

"OK, OK!" Jareth cowered, "Fine! Just as long as it's someplace tasteful and elegant..."
**************************************************************************
The Hunka-Hunka-Burning Cheese Pizzaria.... The place looked like a Fiftie's style drive-in, but it had wall-to-wall photoes and murals of 'the King'. There was even a Sistine-Chapel-like ceiling mural of a half-naked Elvis. The place had metal tables and leopard-print chairs. And Elvis music on the jukebox. Only Elvis music. There are many pizza parlors in New York. This one happened to be totally devoted to a man who just happened to share a birthday with our Bowies.

The owner clearly didn't see the humor. A very large (widthwise) man in his mid-sixties with a jet-black pompadour and a rhinestone apron, found that his own cullinary shrine to the King, was now overrun with queens...and a couple of Jacks. And a few straights.

"I'm-a gonna Royal Flush you wierdos outta here if you don't git out!" The owner scowled.

Ricochet, "We want to order 5 pizzas, please. And about 20 sodas."

"Forget it, Pineapple-Head!"

Ricochet fumed, but Liza and Veronica slid up to the counter...

Veronica leaned into the counter, sideways, seductively, "You know, dah-ling, we were just DEVASTATED when we heard the King was gone..."

The owner blushed, smiling, "Not gone, ma'am...not really."

Liza leaned forward, and crossed her arms on the countertop, giving the owner a very nice view of her..."Oh, Liza and I always dreamed of singing back-up with Elvis...As you can clearly see, I'm a BIG fan!" Some parts of her more than others...as the Pizza owner drooled.

Veronica put a slender finger to her red lips, play pouting, "But, if you don't want us around, then..."

Liza pouted a lip, "We could always...move on..." They turn away, then...

The owner sputtered, "L..l..ladies!!! Ladies! Mah apologies!" He puts his arms around each lady's shoulder, "One must show hospitality to his guest, especially where I'm from--in Memphis!"

Ricochet scratches his head, "How do they do it?"

Tin says, "They're called boobs, Ric."
*************************************************************************

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 09/28/01 03:30 PM (server time).



Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/28/01 03:21 PM
Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

One of the pizzaria's waiters, a wide-eyed boy in his late teens, dressed as the Ed Sullivan version of Elvis, was absolutely dumbfounded. As he passed out the sodas, he tapped Berlin on the shoulder, "Are you the '68 comeback Elvis?"

Berlin: "Er, no. But I remember when he died..."

Yankee snorted, "Good riddance." He sulked on his straw.

Berlin: "Yankee! What's with the attitude?"

Yankee looked like he'd burst into tears, "Elvis didn't like my song! I thought "Golden Years" would be perfect..."

Leon asked, "But Yankee, that's one of the Thin White Duke's tunes..."

Yankee: "IS NOT! I wrote it! I wrote it for my sweet, sweet Angie..." Yankee then gets all moony-eyed.

This time, Berlin snorts, "Wait until 'sweet, sweet Angie' leaves your five-year-old son alone on Christmas to go to a party."

'Young Elvis' waiter shakes his head, "Man, I only dress like Elvis to pay for med school--you guys are obsessed!" Then continues on his way.

Leon patted Yankee on the shoulder, "Well if that old druggie didn't appreciate your song, then he missed out, big time."

Yankee smiled, and hugged Leon, "Thanks."

Earthling knelt by Aladdin, who was sitting in a corner table. The others had persuaded Aladdin to wear clothes in a restaurant, so the genie wore the powder-blue "Life on Mars" suit. Earthling said, pointing to Yankee, Leon and Berlin, "See? We get along once in a while."

Aladdin rested his head in his hands on the table, "But we're still too fragmented. Look." The poker group--Zane, Tin, Monte, and Ricochet were playing cards (as usual) in one corner. Dory and Halloween Jack stared at each other from opposite ends of the room. Nathan sat alone, sketching something in a room. Pierrot was imitating the cooks behind the counter, as they were flipping pizzas. Major Tom and Boz were analyzing the contents of the pizza's 'special sauce.' Major Celliers leaned against the doorway, glaring at the cloaked figure of the Goblin King, who sat silently with Grace next to Aladdin. Algeria and Nana sat at their own table, sipping one malted with two straws, smiling peacefully. The other chorus girls giggled at the couple. The owner was trying to make conversation with the girls, once in a while make Elvis-like gyrations. Byron, intimidated by 'big Elvis' leaned nervously against the jukebox, along with Zero.

Aladdin: "We're still in the same small groups. No one is really interacting with each other."

Liza smiled at Nana and Algeria, telling Veronica, "They're so cute!"

Veronica smiled, too, "I still think Al's creepy, but Nana seems happy."

The owner chuckled nervously, "Heh, heh, hey ladies, why are y'al so interesting in this Bowie character. Y'know the King could do it all--he could dance," he swung his hips, "he could play guitar..."

Liza and Veronica: "Like Ziggy?"

'Big Elvis': "Uh? Whatever. AND he could sing! Listen here!" He waddled over to the jukebox, "Outta mah way, ya pansies!" Byron and Zero backed away from the jukebox, as 'Big Elvis' put in a quarter. The record began the play, and he sang, "Are you lonesome...toniiiight...."

'Big Elvis' may have had the accent down--and the pre-mortem look down--but his cartoonish, wobbly, gruff voice just wasn't the genuine article. By the end of the first verse, Liza and Veronica smiled, to be polite, but were taken aback by a second voice...

Zero, while reviled as the weakest Bowie artistically, can still sing like Bowie. Like Bowie, if he had the will to, he could sound like Frank, or Bing...or even Elvis. Only better--because's it's still David's voice. As the gold-winged persona sang, the whole room, before filled with a dozen separate conversations, went quiet. Everyone was amazed. 'Big Elvis' went quiet, too--but he wasn't happy about being interrupted.

Zero finished the song, kneeling by the girl's table, "...with the stars in your eyes...tell me, are you lonesome....tonight....

The song stopped playing, and it was pin-drop quiet for 5 seconds.

Then the rooom exploded in applause! Zero bashfully bowed, but was grabbed by the lapels of his gold-leather jacket and spun around. He looked Big Elvis in the face--and Elvis' face was beet-red with anger, "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MAH SONG!!"

Liza and Veronica stood up, "But we liked Zero's..."

"STAY OUTTA THIS, WOMEN!" Big Elvis then got a tap on the shoulder. Nathan scowled at him, "Put him down. Now."

"Make me!' Elvis should watch what he said. All Bowies were now surrounding him--all with very dangerous looks on their faces. They may be mostly skinny, but they still outnumbered him at least twenty-to-one.

Nathan then said, "Sir, we haven't caused you any trouble. Now put the boy down, and please bring us our food so we can leave."

Ricochet said, "Or we can just leave and you'd be out at least a hundred bucks, including tip...if we really wanted to..."

The owner quickly released Zero, overwhelmed and giggling nervously, "Hey! Hey! Ah'm sorry 'bout that! Ah...Ah'll git yer food! Right away!" He then skittled off behind the counter.

Zero breathed a sigh of relief, then frowned, "I'm...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have opened my mouth..." He began to back up to his corner, when Aladdin put a hand on his shoulder. The genie hugged Zero, whispering, "It's not your fault." The genie's eyes met the others, "Well done, everyone. Well done." He smiled.

Nathan adjusted his hat, bashfully, "Well, we can't let one of ours get pushed around." The others nodded in agreement.

Zero: "Wow! You mean you all stood up for me even though..."

Earthling, "Hey! We've all done worse things. Right?"

Eveyone, "Right!"

Zero smiled and started to weep...

"ACK!! Enough with the after-school melodrama!" Jareth shouted, "Can we get to business or what!!??"

Aladdin released Zero and smiled, "OK, we're ready. Let's push all the table together and talk--as one group this time. Jareth? Tell us how to get home."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 09/28/01 03:39 PM (server time).



abe11825
(mortal with potential)
10/01/01 12:18 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II [re: Kristin Machina]  

this is all so killer (cool)! give us more, please!! Keep it up!

YOU SAY THAT SO OFTEN.IT MAKES ME WONDER WHAT YOUR BASIS OF COMPARISON IS.


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