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(cracked actor)
12/26/01 03:47 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Busted! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

I love this Kristin! This story is just getting better and better...Please keep it coming.

This monster beauty is not eternal. - Apollinaire

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
01/25/02 02:15 AM
Splitting Headache--All the Madmen new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Bellevue...Psychiatric Emergency Department...The room is locked, armed police officers at the door, and nurses at the station behind glass watching their every move. Anything that can be used as a weapon--knives, guns, belts, suspenders, even Screamin' Lord Byron's turban!--has been confiscated.

Most of the Bowies are sitting quietly on the cushioned sofas (bolted to the wall, for safety reasons). Aladdin Sane, Zero, Grace, Dory, and Halloween Jack were taken somewhere else. But others have found ways to amuse themselves...

Nathan was staring into a room through a glass door, where Ramona was shackled to a bed, hand and foot, "Hmm...Ramona, leather restraints, heavy narcotics, padded walls...brings back memories of Berlin '77."

Once again, Earthling, Ricochet, Monte, Zane and Yankee sat around the floor, playing their usual card game. This time, Pierrot joined in to shuffle the cards.

Except their were no cards.

"Mime poker??" Ricochet asked. "How are we supposed to know who has what cards?"

Monte: "You're David Bowie--use your imagination."

Zane sulked: "Why did they take my cards anyway? Did they think I'd paper-cut them to death?"

Pierrot mimed dealing the cards.

"Just pretend this is our usual game," Earthling said, "OK, Pierrot, I'll take two cards, and I'll ante up two smokes," he 'mimed' two cigarrettes (the nurses took those away, too.)

"Oh, alright!" Ricochet sighed, "Gimme three cards, and I'll raise you two more smokes."

"I'll take three, too--and three smokes," Zane 'anted'.

Monte: "No cards--and I'll double ya!" He giggles.

"I fold," Yankee said.

Monte: "How can you fold??? It's mime poker!"

Yankee, "I never get good cards. Why pretend now?"

Monte: "Sigh...fine. What have you all got?"

Zane: "Three of a kind."

Earthling: "Four of a kind."

Ricochet: "Full house--Jacks on top."

Pierrot dejectedly presented a pair of twos.

Monte frowned, "Well, all I've got are...ROYAL STRAIGHT FLUSH! I win!!" he throws up his fists in the air, "I WIN!! I finally..."

"Wait a minute!" Ricochet protests, "I have three jacks, Pierrot says he has the other one...you can't have a straight royal!"

Monte: "Huh?"

Zane: "You stuffed the deck!"

Monte: "You're all such sore losers! It's mime poker, and if I say I've got a royal straight flush..."

Yankee: "Well, how about if I 'mime' shoving my foot up your arse for cheating!"

Earthling, "Mates, calm down!"

Zane: "Strip him!"

As Zane, Yankee, Ricochet, and Pierrot start to pile up on poor Monte, one of the nurses bursts in, "What is going on here?"

Earthling sheepishly replied, "Uh, we just playing a card game."

Veronica, from the side, "Yeah, mime strip poker!"

Liza, "Yeeeaaah, baby! Take it off!"

The fracas is over in seconds, with Monte in his birthday suit. The nurse glares, "Do I have to place you all in restraints??"

Liza: "Ooh, naked Bowie in restraints--add some strawberry jam and we have a party!"

Nana: "Liza, behave yourself!"

Earthling, "Iman! Save me from this madhouse!"
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the hospital, Earthling's aforementioned beauty was helping the current version. She brought with her a box of CD's and a walkman, in an attempt to jog her husband's memory. She also brought Lexie.

"...and this is 'Let's Dance,' your most successful album." She placed the CD in the walkman, as David listened on headphones.

David listened intently for a few minutes to "Modern Love." "Catchy," he says. "But are you sure I wrote this? It sounds like 'Tell Her.' Here, Lexie, luv," he lowers the volume to a volume suitable to a baby's tender ears and put the headphones on Lexie. The little girl bopped vigorously on her Daddy's lap.

"Good huh?" David sighs, "Daddy would sing it for you live, but..." He sighs heavily, "It's hopeless! I've listened to almost every album--I can't even remember a note!"

Duncan walks in, with a tray of coffee and doughnuts, "Dad, you won't believe what I saw downstairs!"
Moments earlier...

Duncan was lost. This place is a maze, he thought, OK, I'm sure I came from this corridor...or was it the one ten miles back....oh, shoot...

By accident, he was in some examination section of the hospital. There were police and strange men in black suits everywhere.

"Sir, this area is off-limits," an officer in front of double doors motioned to Duncan.

"I'm sorry, officer," Duncan said softly, "I was bringing coffee for my father, and I think I missed the elevators..."

"No problem," the officer nodded, "I get lost here all the time. This place is nuts, and now we just brought in a whole crop of crazies..."

Suddenly, the doors burst wide open, sending the officer flying into a wall. Duncan stood frozen as a pale, slender figure, seemingly painted in red, white and blue, flew through the doors, spinning in mid-air. Its red eyes, filled with fear and panic, locked on Duncan.

David's oldest child could not believe his own eyes.

"Oh Zowie!!" Aladdin Sane threw himself around Duncan's neck, as the young man narrowly missed spilling the content of the tray. "You have to help me! Where is your father? We are in great danger!"

An army of doctors, nurses and aides stormed through the door, pulling Aladdin roughly off Duncan. Two people each held an extremity, as Aladdin kicked and struggled against his captors, "NO NO LET ME GO!!! PLEASE!!"

Duncan stood stock still, his gaze frozen upon the painted creature's features. He watched its wild-eyes soften as the syringe full of Haldol, injected into its flank, took effect.

The officer lead Duncan away, asking if he was OK. He could barely hear the officer's words, as he watched the creature disappear into the inner sanctum of the examination room hall.
"And it was you!" Duncan said. "Your cheekbones, your nose, the spacing of your eyes, it was you in every detail!"

"Maybe it was just the make-up," Iman said, "There's lots of people who..."

"No, no! This proves it!" David said wide-eyed. "This proves I wasn't hallucinating. I can't explain why but...something very unnatural has happened to me."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
01/26/02 05:52 AM
Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As visiting hours come to a close, Duncan walks his step-mom and sister to the garage...

"It's not that I don't believe you or your father, Dun," Iman said, "but to believe there could be another David out there somewhere is a little hard to swallow..."

"Maybe," Duncan chuckles half-heartedly, "Maybe you're right...maybe I was imagining things. Dad's fans can get a little bonkers..."

In the dimly lit sub-basement of the garage..."Wait here, Iman," Duncan said, "I'll pull the car around." Duncan walked several rows of cars back to where the automobile waited. As he slid in and adjusted the seat (he is a bit taller than his parents), he couldn't stop thinking...or wondering...It did appear as if that 'Aladdin-Sane' bloke could fly...Nah! Duncan shook his head and pulled out of the space, but as he drove..But how did he recognize me? Even some of Dad's hardcore fans don't know what I look like.... As he pulled up the entrance...

"Iman? Lexie?" Both mother and child were missing...

"Iman?" Duncan shouted out of the window, but no answer. Lexie's baby bag had been dropped on the ground. Duncan abruptly parked the car where it stopped and jumped out of the car. He looked around--a feeling of panic came over him. It seemed so unlike Iman to just take off...

Against a pillar was a subway map, with darts aimed at northernmost Manhattan....
Now that it was nighttime, and the nurses were all busy at the station with their charts, David took the opportunity to investigate...

He put on some clothes--a T-shirt and a pair of black cargo-pants. He lookedcarefully to see if the hallways were clear, then snuck his way onto the elevators. If anyone asks, he's on his way downstairs to the smoking pavillion.

As the doors close, Duncan arrives on a different elevator, making a mad dash for his father's room.

"Dad!" Duncan bursts into his father's room--no one answers. He dashes to the nurse's desk, "Nurse, where's my father? He's not in his room..."
It was just past radiology, Dun said, David thought, if my faultier-than-usual memory serves me correctly. He walks the labrynthine hallways until...

"Psych E.R.?" David thinks. "No, that can't be right..."

"Can I help you, sir?" An armed guard asked briskly.

"Um...no...just looking," David smiled charmingly.

"Who are you??" The guard said curtly.

"Well...they say my name is David Bowie but..."

"How did YOU get out??" the guard roughly grabbed David by the arms before the man could react, "Geez, first you freaks try to bribe me with imaginary cigarettes, then you try to seduce me--males and females!--they oughta keep you guys chained to the wall!"

"B..b..but I..." David sputtered, confused and stunned, but before he can get out a coherent sentence, he is tossed into the locked room.

David's shock only increases once he sees the room's occupants...


To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
02/18/02 12:09 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow Kristin. I can't wait for more! this is sooo interesting!!

red,whiteand blue make light purple

(wild eyed peoploid)
03/08/02 01:00 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: abe11825]  

r we gonna get n e more? It's so kewl!

red, white, and blue make light purple

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
03/12/02 10:29 PM
Coming soon... new [re: abe11825]  

Sorry...been kind of busy...

New chapter coming soon. Promise.

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
03/13/02 07:04 PM
Re: Coming soon... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

It's no problem. Take your time. we all have been busy. I just figured I speak up for the people who like it. It is real cool. So, Take you time. We just don't want you to forget us!

red, white, and blue make light purple

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
08/14/02 05:41 AM
Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Seven months and no chapter?! Shame on me!
Being thrown bodily into psychiatric lockdown was shock enough for the man known the world over as David Bowie. What the man found inside could have killed him...

"MASTER!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!" A flood of bodies engulfed David in a crushing embrace.

"Oh Master, we were so worried!!" Liza squealed.

"We wanna go home!" Yankee cried.

"I want my TVC15 back!!" Newton joined in, getting strange looks from the other personae.

"Urk!" David strained to regain his bearings and his breath.

"OK, OK mates," Earthling attempted the part the mob like Moses the Red Sea, "give the body some air!"

David look around him--faces much like his own, most of them quite a bit younger, staring right at him with looks of part concern, part jubilation. He did a slow 360 degree turn, studying each face, most of which he's seen in the mirror over the years. Then, the floor itself felt like it was doing a 360 on its own.

"Somebody get a chair!" Ricochet shouted as David's knees started to buckle.

Pierrot obeyed, but David landed on the floor anyway.

Ricochet sighed, "Pierrot, I meant a REAL chair."

Pierrot shrugged.

Nana knelt down, "Are you OK, dearie?" She delicately placed a hand on David shoulder, but he pulled away defensively.

"What's going on?" he breathlessly asked.

"Pardon me," Nathan stepped forward, "perhaps if you would take a seat on the sofas, we might be able to answer any inquiries at to this matter..."

Almost an hour passes, as each personae recounts the history of Suffragette City, and the events of the past couple of days...

"I can't believe it," David shakes his head.

"He doesn't believe us!!" Byron screamed, "WE'RE DOOMED!!"

"OH SHUT UP!!" the other Bowies holler.

"Everyone stop screaming!" Major Tom shouts.

"Wha'?" Algeria feebly pricks his ears, "Speak up!"

"Ow, my head..." David groans.

"THERE HE IS!!" the security guards, a doctor and a nurse come bursting through the door. "Mr. Jones! You shouldn't be here! Come back to the unit now!"

The Bowies surround David defensively. Leon sneers, "He ain't going nowhere! We're goin' back home!"

One guard whispers to the other, "Whoa...they DO all look like him."

"Yeah," the other guard whispers, "even the girls. Spooky."

"Please, let me through!!" Duncan squeezed his way past the guards.

"Sir, you can't be in here!" the nurse tried to block his way.

"Please, ma'am, he's my dad!"

"It's OK, Dun," David gently nudged the other persona to the side.

Duncan: "Dad, Iman and Lexie's gone."

David: "Gone?? What do you mean 'gone'?"

Duncan gave his father the map with a note written in red: "If not for yourself, then perhaps will you trade your foolish pride for the life of your bride?"

Duncan: "Dad, it's in your handwritting."

Zane growled, "The Duke."

Tin: "The fuckin' Duke!"

David: "That was the pale, sickly man who came into my room trying to get me to smoke again!"

"Er," Yankee spoke hesitantly, "that pale, sickly man was you, Boss, long time ago."

"Nevermind, Yank," Celliers shook his head, "David didn't remember being the Duke even before this all started!"

David clamped his fist, crumpling the map into a tight ball, fire flashing in his eyes, "He's got my wife and daughter! If he hurts them, I swear...." His teeth clenched in rage.

"Calm down, sir," the Detective Professor Adler said, "they're probably bait. He might not intend to hurt them..."

"But what about Jareth??" Zane said. "The Duke had no problem offing him!"

"We gotta get to the Cloisters, now!" the usually cool-and-composed Earthling was shaking, "He can't hurt them, he can't!!"

"Nobody's going anywhere!!" the doctor interjected. "Mr. Jones, these are obviously very sick people who are manipulating your feelings! Let the police find your family, now let's get you back upstairs." The guards grabbed David by the arm. Newton grabbed the other, "Let go! Leave him alone!"

The guards tried to wrestle David out of frantic alien's grip, but the others soon jumped in and grabbed hold of the body. A tug of war ensued!

"OW!! Stop it!!" David screamed, "I'm not a wishbone!"

Then, a storm of red and blue lightning lit up the corridors. In the midst of the mob scene, a figure dressed in full black with flaming red hair, red-and-blue tattoos and a cape appeared.

"Let...go...now!" Jareth's voice boomed out of Aladdin Sane's lithe body. The nurse fainted. The guards, shocked senseless, instantly released David's arm, sending the rock star tumbling on top of his selves.

"Laddie?" the Bowie stared in wonderment.

The doctor just stood there, trembling, "I've been working too many double shifts..."

David stood up, gracefully dusting himself off. He walked over cautiously to Aladdin. He stared at him, studying his features. He took in a breath of absolute wonder.

"Hi, Master," Aladdin, in his own voice, sweetly smiled.

After a long silence, David asked, "Did...did I really create you?"

Aladdin nodded.

David turned to the doctor, "Doctor, I know this is going to sound absolutely bonkers, but as you can clearly see, there are certain things in this world that simply cannot be explained. I've lost my memories-- these...people," gesturing to the Bowies, "remember everything I've lost in every detail. Now, I demand to be discharged immediately, as well as everyone in this room..."

"Yeeeeaaaahh!!" the Bowies cheered.

Aladdin (in Jareth's voice again): "I'd release Jack, Dory, and Gracie, too. They've been quite rude to us, poking and proding at us like cattle," his nose turned up indignantly.

"Zero, too!" Berlin said.

Jareth sighed, "Zero, too."

The doctor gulped hard, "I'll...work something out with the police...."

Don't understand me, just love me

(cracked actor)
08/14/02 05:54 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here [re: Kristin Machina]  

Never mind holding us in suspence for these seven months Kristen... It was worth the wait! This is my favouritre fanfic ever!

A ritual in search of a philosophy

(electric tomato)
08/14/02 09:52 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here [re: decibel]  

I agree! See, she's using the fanfic as bait! to tease us! (j/k)

Osgood: Which of these instruments do you play?
Daphne: Bow fiddle.
Osgood: Oh, fascinating! Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?
Daphne: Most of the time, I slap it!

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