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08/14/02 12:49 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow! I just read this for a first time, thanks to your last chapter that has brought it back there. And it's just amazing. You really can't complain about a lack of imagination (meant in a best of senses). Certainly, not everyone can write something like this. Just continue your great work straight to a great ending!

''Give your children moral and religious lessons only when you've made certain that they don't take them too seriously.''

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
11/09/02 07:03 AM
Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast new [re: Kristin Machina]  

The scene going up First Avenue would marvel most people, except New Yorkers, of course...

A calvacade of police cars and trucks blared up the avenue heading uptown, sirens flashing. It was quite a scene, but most locals barely raised an eyebrow.

The trucks carried about 6 Bowies each, while a separate car carried the host body and his son.

In one of the cars, Earthling writhed his hands, "I can't take it! I'm so worried about Iman and Lexie! They must be so frightened!"
Lexie was certain frightened, crying loudly on the stone floor of the Cloisters...

That was because her Mommy was beating the living crap out of her captor and screaming, "YOU STAY AWAY FROM US, YOU MONSTER!!"

The Thin White Duke had originally planned to hold the two hostage, yet there was a minor flaw. The Duke's newly acquired thirst for blood made him hunger for a taste of Bowie's wife, but an unexpectedly powerful right hook to the jaw proved that this was not an easy meal.

Enraged, the Duke lunged for her, but he suddenly remembered how Iman took self-defense classes (a requirement for a lady of importance living in the big city). Unfortunately, he remembered too late as Iman used his own momentum to fling him against a wall. Iman was a slender woman, but not as physically fragile as the Duke. His own skeletal frame made a dull thud as he hit the stone.

Taking advantage of the stunned Duke's condition, Iman scooped up her screaming daughter and ran for the door.

The Duke regained his bearings quickly, and sealed the doors--with the iron giant from the Goblin City Gates. The behemoth emerged from the iron doors and began to swing its axe.

Iman reeled back, but she was now trapped between the giant and the menacing wizard-vampire in front of her.

"Impressive," the Duke rubbed his sore, bruised jaw, "the bride of Bowie is not as easily cowed as I had previously believed."

Iman shook, but put on a brave face, "Don't kill my child."

The Duke clicked his tongue, "Oh I wouldn't DREAM of harming two beauties such as you," he said, every word as ice cold as his heart. "Not to worry, my dear, you are only the pawns in my game--and I am about to win! Your knight-in-shining-Armani is approaching, and is bringing his other little creations with him. With you in my possession, the body will surely surrender! I'll eliminate my lessers, and I will once again be in total control!"

Iman scowled, "I won't let David turn into a monster like you ever again!"

The Duke: "And how do you intend to stop me?"

Iman stood straight and tall, "We are his family. We won't allow you to win."

The Duke creeped closer, "And...what if...he HAD no family?"

Iman curled her fist and made another jab, but the Duke caught it in his icy grip. She winced as the Duke squeezed hard.

The Duke laughed flatly, humorously, "I'm not going to kill you...yet. Your deaths will only fuel his grief...and my strength."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 11/09/02 12:08 PM (server time).

11/10/02 01:32 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Yes! She's back!!!

Keep going!

Squeak squeak to you too

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
11/11/02 04:36 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As the police cars pull up to the Cloisters...

"Dad?" Duncan asks.

"Yes, Dun?" David replies

"Are you going to go back to smoking?"

David sat quietly for a moment, staring at the castle, running a hand through his long hair, "I don't know. I just don't. I don't know how I'm going to get the Duke and the others back, but I can't worry about that right now. First, I've got to get Iman and Lexie back safely."

"You're right," Duncan nods, "but...once we do..and we WILL!...how are you going to go on without your memories?"

David thought back to the Duke's last visit in his room:

In reply to:

"...your body was not meant to go without cigarettes. Your vast creative powers were not meant to go without, either. It is up to you to restore the balance, restore your creativity, and resume the smoking."

The Duke's icy words swirl in David's half-vacant mind...

{quote]"I am the one who is preventing you from recovering your memories..."[/quote]

He's holding more than my family hostage...David thinks.

In reply to:

"You'll never remember any of your songs ever again. You can listen to your albums an infinite number of times and never remember a note. Thus, you'll never sing them again...

Is that so terrible?, David asks himself.

In reply to:

"You may never write or sing any other song, ever....What EVER will you do without that wonderful voice of ours?...You are a performer. If you can't perform, you are as good as dead..."[/"

That hurts David more than recovering his memories--being robbed of his future.

In reply to:

"Return to the cigarettes, David Bowie... Return to them, and all will be restored."

So he wants me to believe... David muses.

Never write again...?

A knock was heard on the car door. David snapped back to the present, turned and saw his "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence" self out the window.

The car had stopped, and Major Celliers opened the door, "Perhaps you ought to stay here, Sir. This could be rather dangerous."

"No!" David shook his head. "I need to confront the Duke myself. Duncan, you stay here."

"But...!" Duncan began to protest. "My baby sister's in there!"

Aladdin Sane approached, "The Duke wants us, Duncan--too many other people might aggravate him, and thus putting your mom and sister in more danger."

David said, "If I get into trouble, I'll call you..."

Duncan shouted, "Why? To identify the bodies? This is insane!"

"Duncan!!" David bellowed, and suddenly the 30-year-old was put right back into his place. "I'm sorry I raised my voice, but please trust me. I have a plan."

"You do?" Major Celliers and Aladdin/Jareth said in unison.

David smiled mischieviously, "Officer, do you have a spare pad and pencil I can borrow?"

Meanwhile, as the other Bowie disembark the trucks, Earthling flies out like a Union Jack in a storm, "I'm coming, Iman!! Let's go!" He barely makes it five strides when Major Tom and Detective Adler grab him by the arms.

"Whoa, kid!" Nathan says, "Don't go runnin' in there half-cocked!"

Earthling panted, "He's going to do something terrible to her, I just know it!"

Major Tom says, "I've never seen you this upset. You're usually the most calm, rational Bowie in his head."

Earthling glares at the astronaut, "Rarely is it that my family is in mortal danger, Major!"

Leon approaches, "The cops wouldn't give us back our knives."

Nathan: "Doesn't matter, anyway. Can't kill 'im. Won't do much good against a sorceror. We need to come up with a more rational solution."

Yankee appears, "And if rational doesn't work, the Duke will face my flying fists of fury!!" The tangerine-haired soulboy punches the air in a flurry.

Ricochet rolls his eyes, "I'd better keep close to him, for Yank's sake."

The Cloisters had undergone a radical transformation. A dark cloud hovered overhead. The walls were now ebony black, just like the Duke's own castle back in Suffragette City. The police approached the entrance, guns drawn. Over a bullhorn, the chief bellows: "OPEN UP!! THIS IS THE NYPD! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"

Suddenly, a peal of lightning, strikes a patrol car, sending the officers flying back. An ominous voice booms from within the castle: "Only the body and his doppelgangers! No one else is permitted to enter!" Just to emphasize the Duke's demand, the Iron Giant materializes at the gates, axe drawn.

David said, "It's alright, officers--let us go in by ourselves."

"But, sir, you could get hurt!" the chief protested.

"No choice," David shrugged.

The chief sighed heavily, "The Department just didn't train us for this wierd shit. Call us if there is trouble!"

David nodded, and the gates opened behind the giant.

The twenty Bowies, past and present cautiously walked in...

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 11/11/02 05:25 AM (server time).

(stardust savant)
11/20/02 08:48 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

nice, very nice, i love where the story is going...and i cant wait to see what Davids plan was that he needed teh piece of paper for....interesting! missed your work and you kristin dear! i will certinally get to work on some drawings for you when i return to the states and bordom. ciao, starbuck

“World Domination has encountered a momentary setback. Talk amongst yourselves.”

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/11/03 03:19 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

No sooner had all the Bowies entered that the gates slammed behind them, throwing them all in pitch darkness.


Tin: "For fuck's sake, stop screamin', Byron."

Newton: "AAH! I felt a snake crawl past my leg!"

Dory: "Meow, that's my tail."

Newton: "Oops, sorry."

David Bowie: "Everyone calm down! Anyone got a flashlight? Or a cig lighter?"

Berlin: "The cops took those, too."

"I've got something better," Aladdin extended his arm, and a ball of light materialized in his hand. The genie/goblin gently blew and the ball levitated upwards, illuminating what lay before them.

Whatever was inside the Cloisters before was gone. Now, the Eicher room snarled and twisted before their eyes.

Byron: "I'm dizzy..."

Ricochet: "Pull it together, man!"

David took a deep breath, "Alright then...I think if we all just stayed together, we won't get lost. Let's go..." David looks around carefully, "that way," and points forward.

"Wait, Master," Zero steps aside and unfurls his wings. Imbedded within the gold spokes were...

"Our knives!" the Bowie gasped.

Nathan: "Whoa, how did you..."

Zero: "Leon stuck them in here."

The detective/professor looks at Leon Blank, "I'm not even gonna ask. Ahem...nice job."

Leon nods politely, "Anyone else want their lighters back?" He opens his jacket and reveals them in the inner lining.

Re-equipped, the Bowies follow their body forward. As one serpentine chain, they carefully climb the twisting staircase. David makes sharp left turn and arrives at a open landing--no stairs, just a slab jutting outwards.

"Dead end," David starts to turn around, "Let's..." but no one was behind him.

"What!?" David looks around in a panic. He tries to backtrack his steps, looks around the corner for the downward staircase.

But there is no downward staircase. Only one in front of him that goes up. With no other direction to go, and completely confused, David climbs upward. He comes to a four-way crossing and runs into Major Tom and Pierrot.

David: "Hey! I thought I told you lot to stay together!"

Major: "We tried...you didn't walk through a wall, did you?"

David: "What?"

Major: "You couldn't have turned left. The only way to go was right. Before we knew it, we're all split up."

David shakes his head: "In less than a minute? Someone's messing with our heads."

Pierrot mines being boxed in by four walls.

Major: "The walls are moving around."

David: "Perhaps it's better we spread out...cover more ground."

Major: "Here," he hands David a communication device from Boz, "call us if you find the Duke."

David: "Right, good luck! Careful, you two!" And off they went in separate directions.

Elsewhere in the Labryinth...

Zero had gotten tired of climbing stairs, "Perhaps if I just fly overhead, I'd have a better idea of where I'm going." He flapped his wings and launched off an overhang. Looking down, he saw a dizzing view--Bowie ascending and descending staircases, some right side up, some upside down. Zero looked up and saw more of the same. It was impossible to determine what was ceiling and what was ground. He couldn't even see the entrance. Suddenly, he felt a loss of equilibrium--was he flying upside down or right side up. Zero tried flying in one direction, but felt like he was falling instead, plunging at a great speed. He flipped around again, and tried the opposite direction, but again, instead of that rising sensation--the struggle agaist gravity--it felt as if gravity was pulling him down, no matter where he turned.

Zero felt dizzy, a tremendous feeling of vertigo came over him, and he passed out, tumbling down...or up...or sideways...or...

Someone caught him in mid-fall. Zero's head felt like it had been in a washing machine--he couldn't see straight..."Who...?"

"Easy, child," a voice was heard, "Close your eyes...you're safe...go back to your eternal slumber..." Zero's eyes fluttered open in horror as a pair of teeth sank into his neck. Soon, Zero's dizziness faded away into nothing....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
03/11/03 07:41 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Argh, I started reading this when it still was brand new - so, so long ago it seems, and then went away for half an eternity... There's a lot of catching up to do. Nice to see where the story has gone though!

Addicted to compliments (and Alan Rickman).

03/11/03 07:45 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Paddy-chan]  

Oh yesss. I still have a lot of catching up to do as well. So great to see this story alive and kicking...

..and while I'm here, I have to ask - can I please please please archive this masterpiece on GGP where it can arrange slumber parties with Phoenix's stories?

"My dagger was the most beautiful dagger I had ever seen in my life. "

(stardust savant)
03/11/03 06:16 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II [re: Kristin Machina]  

woo hoo! Kristin back in action :) lovely to see you still working on it. i was just about to ask you the other day if you were gonna add to it soon. good to have ya back dear! and, i have done some drawings, but THAT BLASTED SCANNER! ehrm..sorry, im having technical difficulties :( starbuck

“Un bacio proibito brucia piu del fuoco.”

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/12/03 10:53 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b) [re: Kristin Machina]  

Aladdin turns a corner just in time to see a shadowy figure with gold specks take off down another corridor, leaving behind Zero's twisted form.

"NO!!" the genie cries out, as he cradles Zero's body, just as he had in the main square.

Within Aladdin's mind, Jareth chuckles, "Ha ha...can't save him this time, little genie. The Duke's sucked him dry!"

Aladdin instead reopened the gash mark on his hand and placed in on Zero's throat. Zero's form dissolved into gold dust, and Aladdin now had strands of gold in his own wild mane.

Jareth: "He's using my Labyrinth to split us up..."

"...and pick us off one by one," Aladdin spoke darkly, "Let's make haste before he strikes again."

"There's no hope," Jareth spoke in Aladdin's mind, "You'll never solve the Labryinth until The Duke has killed all of your friends."

Aladdin snapped out loud: "Then what good are YOU??!! Help me, damnit!"

Jareth: "Alright, first rule: No flying. There is no up or down in this place. As evidenced by Zero's fatal folly."


Ricochet wasn't sure how long he'd been climbing stairs...minutes...hours...but from around a corner he'd heard a blood-curdling scream. He turned left at a rounded curve, but found out very quickly that he was running around in a complete circle. Confused, he turned around...

...and found the Chorus girls bound to a giant cobweb, motionless, with puncture marks on their necks. Ricochet dropped to his knees in horror and grief, "Oh Liza...Veronica...Nana...even in this place, you've managed to stick together 'till the bitter end." Creeping behind him was the shadowy figure.

Ricochet sensed something in his periphery and quickly dodged as the figure made a lunge at him. The figure was indeed a shadow, almost transparent with a few specks of gold.

In a fit of rage, Ricochet tore off his coat, rolled down his suspenders and rolled up his sleeves, curling his fists: "Come and get me, bitch!"

Cackling, the shadow assumed a similar fighting stance, and the two began to exchange blows. Unfortunately, as Ricochet found out, sparring with a skinny coked-out youth was one thing--battling a ghost was entirely another. The blond pop-star's fists passed through the shadow like smoke.

Not so with the shadow's fists--the whispy figure, with one solid right hook, sent Ricochet flying into a wall, cracking his spine. Unable to move, Ricochet could only scream weakly as teeth sank into his jugular...

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

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