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Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/05/01 01:44 AM
Splitting Headache (kept)  

A fictional tale hypothesizing why it's so darn hard for Bowie to quit smoking....

Two cigarettes. That's all he had this day was two cigarettes--one in the morning, and one at night. David sits at his kitchen table--fidgity, with a pounding headache. He glances at the microwave clock--2:30 AM. He's usually in bed by 10 PM. His wife and daughter are fast asleep--he would hate to wake up either needlessly. He swishes down the rest of his glass of water, as it chases down the two aspirins he just took.

He is due to be at the set of a new video he's shooting for "Toy". His record company INSISTED, he growls to himself.

David was determined to kick his habit. But kicking the butts seems almost as bad as smoking. Why is it so hard to stop?

Another headache attack--this one seemed worse than before. Where is this coming from, he thinks as he lays his head on the table...
Within Bowie's unconscious mind, where not even he knows what's going on...


The Thin White Duke was in a foul mood. He always in a foul mood, but this time, he was getting to be dangerously violent!
The Duke stood on the balcony of a large castle in the middle of a small town called Suffragette City. He was conjuring up the biggest tempest he had ever cast!

"WHERE'S MY SMOKE!!???" The Duke bellows.

"Shaddup out there..." a cockney voice shouts

"We're trying to sleep..." another younger voice shouts.

"NOBODY rests until I get my desired amount of nicotine!" The Duke screams. KRAKA-BOOOOOM!

Elsewhere, out on Earthling's Plains....

"MEOW! Make it stop!" Hunky Dory, a sphinx in Egyptian garb, cowers up in a tree.

"Dory, get down from there!" Halloween Jack, a half-dog peoploid with a red mullet and eye-patch, growls up at the captive kitty.

"It's yurr fault I'm up her-urr," Dory mews. "You chased me up her-urr."

Then, a bolt of lightning inadvertently strikes the tree, sending Dory tumbling down: "MEEEEOOOOW!" Lucky for him, his cat-like reflexes let him land on his feet.

"You OK?" Jack asked.

"I....I think so, mew!" Dory shakes and licks his paws. Then they lock eyes. Jack starts to growl. Dory's back arches. And the chase continues....

Back at the castle....

Knock, Knock!

"Go away!" The Duke warns, but the intruder enters anyway.

Screamin' Lord Byron, a silver-skinned man with a turban, a sleeping mask, genie pants and an oversized "Frankie Says Relax" T-shirt saunters in.

"Pardon me, your Thin White Highness," Byron yawns with a snobbish tone, "but you ARE making a bit of a racket, and I DO need my beauty sleep."

"Oh." The Duke does not face Byron, and keeps his blank stare out over the city. "You want to sleep, do you?"

"And Richocet wants to sleep, and Zane and Earthling--and Berlin says you're disturbing his work. Mr. Touchshriek thinks we're in an air raid..."

"I'll put you ALL to sleep!" The Duke spins around in a snap, startling Byron. The Duke glares at him with his pale, bony, stone-cold face. "Would you like to join Ziggy--in his never-ending slumber?" The Duke lifts his hand, and two darts materialize. He stalks Byron, as the hapless rock star back away toward the door.
"I've dealt with the insult of having my cocaine disappear," the Duke fumes, "Now, if I don't get my desired amount of cigarettes, we will all be sleeping for a long, long time! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!??"

The Duke takes aim, as a terrifyed and confused Byron runs through the door. The door slams the millisecond two darts plant themselves into the oak.

Byron breathes heavily, wearily walking home, "He's gone mad...God help us all..."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Sysiyo on 10/08/04 10:32 AM (server time).

05/05/01 08:01 PM
Re: Splitting Headache new [re: Kristin Machina]  

oh...cool idea. i like this multiple personality war going on. why did you chose for the duke to be the dominate character? i like the cat/dog chase. also, i pictured this as a very dream like world, and maybe like sparks in the sky where neurons are firing from the brain's activity. keep it up, i want to hear more!!! starbuck

"and you'll stop me, wont you, if you've heard this one before. the one where i surprise you by showing up at your front door. saying let's not ask what next, or how or why, cause i am leaving in the morning, so lets not be shy." Shy--Ani DiFranco

(mortal with potential)
05/05/01 08:47 PM
Re: Splitting Headache new [re: Kristin Machina]  

That's so awesome! It's so creative, you've got to write more of it! *applauds*

Angel's Realm

(crash course raver)
05/06/01 00:59 AM
Re: Splitting Headache new [re: Kristin Machina]  

hehe, read my limerick about this topic over on the "End" thread, Kristin. Nice story!

The Atonal Express left the tonal world behind......

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/06/01 02:01 AM
Splitting Headache--Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Big thanks to all who responded! I'll keep writing....
"Darling," Iman nudged David awake. I was 3:00 AM.

"Ugh...is Lexie OK?" David rubbed his temples.

"She's fine. David, perhaps you ought to see a doctor. You could be having a migraine."

"What I need is a fag."

Yesss...that's it...

"Oh, David," Iman sat on his lap, and folded her arms around his shoulders....


"I am sorry if I pushed you into this," she says. "I would let you smoke until you are one hundred years if it would make the pain go away. But I know that your father died at about your age from lung disease, and I am so afraid of losing you."

Longevity is overrated...let him smoke...

"It's not just you," David put her head on his shoulder. "I'd been trying to quit for years. But...nah, it's stupid..."

"What, darling?"

"I swear I hear this voice telling me to smoke again. The voice always wins. Maybe I'm just a high-functioning undiagnosed schitzophrenic with dependency issues."

"Well, if the voice comes back, tell me and I'll yell at him and make him go away!"

David laughed out loud, then muffled himself, hoping he didn't just wake up Alex.

Iman continued, "And you have got Duncan, and Zu, and four against one is not bad odds, no?"

David grinned, "No." He and his plucky wife kiss.

Iman: "And you're breath will smell better too."

David razzes her, as she then laughs out loud, "OK, Mr. Jones, back to bed, now!"

"I thought you liked the smell of my smokes," he pouts.

"I can always tell how long it's been between cigs--the longer, the worst it was."

"Ooooh, after 9 years, it comes out," David mocks scolds her as they creep off to bed.

"You got to be honest in marriage. Tom and Nicole--If he would have told her he was gay..."

"He's not gay! He's too bloody wierd..."

"Wait," Iman pauses. "Are you sure you don't want a quick smoke to take the edge off?"

Yes...YES...that's more like it...


"As moonlight."

David thinks. "Nah. I'll be OK." Off to bed...
Suffragette City...

"DAMN YOU WOMAN!!" KRAKA-KA-BOOOOOM! The Duke screams, "I was so close...so close...."

To be contined...'cause I'm tired and I gotta go to work tomorrow...[/i}

Don't understand me, just love me

05/07/01 00:53 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

HAHA, THAT WAS GREAT!!! i just loved the joke about tom cruise, thats awesome. do you really think that david and iman are that sappy in real life? all cute and adorable? gag!!! the duke is a really cool dude though, i like him a lot...keep writing!!! starbuck

"and you'll stop me, wont you, if you've heard this one before. the one where i surprise you by showing up at your front door. saying let's not ask what next, or how or why, cause i am leaving in the morning, so lets not be shy." Shy--Ani DiFranco

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/07/01 00:58 AM
Splitting Headache--Splitting Hairs new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Bowie's Unconcious Mind...

Nana's Hair Salon, Nail Parlor and Deli...

"Byron, luv," Liza was busy styling hair. Liza wore a black bee-hive and a polka-dot dress. "You're too quiet today. Usually you're going on about how stunningly beautiful I am."

"No, Liza," Veronica replied, carefully sculpting Byron's nails. She had long, luxurous blond hair and a pale pink shimmering gown--and at the moment, an apron: "He's usually going on about how stunningly beautiful HE is!"

"Sorry," Byron said weakly, "Haven't slept well."

"Well, it's nine o'clock," Nana, an old woman with short blond hair and a tweed jacket carried a bagel omlette and juice, "and the Body's already taken his morning smoke. That should keep the Duke quiet for a while."

"Oh, but it's still so gloomy outside," Liza shivers. "I wanted to picnic out on Earthling Plains."

Byron stared blankly out into the mirror.

"Byron?" Veronica nudged.


"Something's wrong."

"Wot? Nails splitting?"

"No," Veronica stood up, arms crossed. "You're staring out into space. Not like your usually "I'm-so-pretty" gaze into the mirror. What's wrong?"

"Spill, hon!" Liza tugged at a lock. "We're here for ya?"

"Anything at all--you can tell us!" Nana added.

Byron sighed deeply, "I went to the Duke's castle last night..."

"OH, That's scary! I could never do that!" Liza shrieked.

"Anyway," Byron sighed again, "I simply couldn't take the boomin' noise anymore and I..."

"That reminds me," Nana interrupted, "Algeria called last night and said our shop would most likely be hit by lightning, so he INSISTED we share a room at his 'lightning-proof' shop."

"Bet he thought we'd all share a bed together too," Veronica huffed. "Old pervert..."

"LET ME FINISH, PLEASE!" Byron shouted.

"Sorry," the ladies chorused.

"I asked him to turn down the noise, and he almost threw darts in my eyes, saying he would put us all to sleep if he didnt get his nicotine."

The girls stood silent for a moment, puzzled.

"He's insane," Liza snipped at a lock, "not the nice kind of insane like Laddie."

"No, he's sane, alright," Veronica said darkly, "he's just a mean, bitter, burnt-out, spoiled bastard!"

"GIRLS!" Nana warned, then whispered, "he can hear you. You'd better not make him angrier."

"Sane or no," Byron said, "I'm afraid he'll do something we'll all regret."

To be continued..."

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/07/01 02:37 AM
Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV new [re: Kristin Machina]  

David coos, "Ah, my black beauty, even when I kick my habit, I'll never let you go! Let me put my lips to you..."

Iman peers in from another room, burping Lexie and giggles to herself: "He's enjoying his coffee WAY too much!"
Bowie's sub-conscious mind...

The Moonage Daydream Tavern and Coffee Shop...

"Coffee's on!" Monte perks up an urn. Monte is the barkeep, and even though he was a movie role and not created by Bowie, he was granted citizenship in Suffragette City. He won the respect of the townspeople by getting them all pissed-drunk every night.

"Make mine an Irish Coffee, will ya?" Tin Machine shouted from the poker table--not the whole band, just it's frontman.

Monte is also a compulsive gambler and runs a perfectly legal casino. This morning is the Bowies' daily poker game.

"A bit early to be drinking, ain't it mate?" Earthling winked. He had orange spiky hair, a goatee and a Union Jack coat.

"Hey, Spike-head, after that %$#@in' thunderstorm last night by that mother-%$#@in' Duke, I could use something stiff!" Tin Machine rubbed his scruffy beard and ran a hand through his mousey hair. He had the filthiest mouth of all the Bowies.

"Where's Yankee and Richocet?" Zane shuffles the cards. He had long blond hair tied back and a calf-length dress--the Man Who Sold the World. But that name was too long for everyone, so he became Zane, as in "ouvre le chien."

"Morning boxing," Earthling replied.

"I almost feel bad for Yankee. That skinny tangerine-haired kid sparing against that tan, buff blond." Monte poured the java.

"HA! Rich must knock the s%*t outta him! Man, if I ever saw Yank beat Rich, I'd piss my pants!" Tin gaffawed.

"Ya know, Tin," Earthling took a mug from Monte, "I don't know what's stronger--Monte's coffee or your language."

"Oh, pardon moi, Mr. 'Tits and Explosions.'" Tin said sarcasticly.

"'Pussy in Cars!'" Zane added.

"OK," Earthling threw up a hand, "relax, I didn't mean anything by it..."

"OH DEAR GAWD!" Tin laughed again--Richocet just walked in, carrying Yankee over his shoulder.

"Yankee!" the Bowies jumped up. "Richocet, what did you do?"

"Nothing!" the blond lay the unconscious soul-man on a bench. "I barely hit him and he was down for the count!"

Yankee woke up, "I didn't sleep last night."

"That's makes two of us," Zane added.

"All of us!" Earthling agreed.

"Rich, you in the game?" Zane asked. "Yankee, why don't you lie down and watch some TV?"

"What's on?" Yankee asked.

"The Body's shooting a video," Zane answered.

"Bo-ring!" Yankee yawned.

"Right, no matter how many he makes, mine will always be better!" Richocet puffs his chest.

"No way, mate!" Earthling retorted. "You made some poor Aborginanie scrub a busy highway!"

"Yeah...well...your videos are...wierd...and mine got played more!"

Tin added: "That's because MTV only had about 20 videos that they played all the &%$#in' time!"

"Anyway," Richocet takes the tavern TV remote, "what else is on?"

He turns the TV on. Static...

"Aw, damn, storm musta knocked out the reception," Yankee turned off the TV. "I'm taking a nap."

"We're short a player," Earthling noted. "Monte...join in?"

"Er...no," Monte declined politely, "I still owe from last week.I need to cut back..."

"How do you like that," Tin opened the windows and shouted outside, "a Bowie with SELF-CONTROL!"

"No, Tin," the others tried to pull him back in, when a peel of lightning appeared from the castle, aimed at the tavern! The men hit the floor, bracing for impact...

Kraka--BO--POW! Another bolt of lightning--red and blue--flashed outside and canceled the deadly white bolt.

"Did it hit?" Zane asked.

"No, we're safe," Richocet picked himself up. The men peeked outside. The tavern was not hit--if it did, the tavern would be burnt to ashes!

Earthling breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank you, Aladdin Sane!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
05/07/01 04:19 AM
Oh, my. new [re: Kristin Machina]  


05/07/01 11:52 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV new [re: Kristin Machina]  

WOO HOO!!! starbuck (clapping her hands, and grinning ear to ear)

"and you'll stop me, wont you, if you've heard this one before. the one where i surprise you by showing up at your front door. saying let's not ask what next, or how or why, cause i am leaving in the morning, so lets not be shy." Shy--Ani DiFranco

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/08/01 00:28 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Transmittion new [re: Starbuck]  

Suffragette City--TVC15 Tower

"NO, NO!" Thomas Newton pounded on the multitude of TV screens. All were recieving nothing but static.
Newton was another movie character--but his life mirrored Bowie's own so closely--an briillant alien in a foreign land, who falls to temptation. Newton was the City's resident scientist, but he'd rather watch TV all day. His occupation became that of monitoring and maintaining the city's television transmissiion tower.

"Oh, does this mean I have to go outside?" Newton took a swig of water. He opens the door onto the roof of the control office. Immediately he is blinding. Gifted--and cursed--with hyper-sensitive sight, the normal crackle of energy in the sky would be painfully bright. White noise intermixed with red and blue, gold and silver--the energies of all the Bowies combined. The residual aura of the late Ziggy Stardust, who sacrified his life to save the body.
This time, there was an additional energy, invisible to the naked eye except Newton's. The white noise was amplified ten times. Newton found it unbearable.

He walked back inside, and over the intercom called, "Ground Control the Major Tom...can you hear me, Major Tom?"

No response.

Newton fished out of the cabinet his special pair of shades, that adjusted to the level of brightness--his own invention. He once again walked outside, allows the shades to adjust, and looked up at the tower.

Major Tom lived in a capsule on the top of the tower. The astronaut used the tower to observe the entire subconscious mind, and Newton would relay signals by request.

Now, the capsule was hanging off the tower by its own connecting cables--and the cables were starting to give way!

Pierrot was up on the tower already--a mysterious harlequin that haunted the Major--trying to pull the Major's capsule back up. But the capsule was huge and heavy, and it would take more strength to rescue it!

"OH NO!" Newton screamed, "I've got to call for help!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/10/01 02:20 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Magical Beings new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Suffragette City...The Moonage Daydream

The tavern was buzzing with activity. Dory was curled up by the fireplace asleep, resting from last night's wild chase. Monte was serving coffee to two customers sitting at the counter--Berlin and Leon Blank. Berlin wore black jeans, a black leather jacket, and black shades. Leon was a young man of 22 years, half-black, half-white. He and Berlin were excitedly discussing the goings on off last night. Leon didn't notice the heavy-set, middle aged man with a brown hat and a scar on his cheek, sitting at the poker table.

"And you guys keep askin' me why I don't finish my diary!" Prof. Detective Nathan Adler arranged his cards. He spoke with a husky New York accent. He didn't notice Leon at the counter. Better for Leon--he was a suspect in a grizzy art-killing that Nathan was perpetually investigating.

"Hate to tell you this, mate," Earthling was arranging his own cards, "but I don't think you were ever meant to finish it. You're trapped in a hyper-circle...."

"I WILL finish, I tellin' ya!" Nathan pounded the table. "You will see my 'Contamination'"

"Riiiight..." chorused the whole tavern.

"I've got all my notes, I just have to organize them...or find them...they're...in my office...somewhere..." Nathan's voice trailed off.

"Berlin, darling!" Zane shouted. "Storm keep you up?"

"Oh please, liebling," Berlin smirked, "we haven't gone to bed yet!"

"We got inspired," Leon continued, "we recorded the thunder, sped it up, looped it--Berlin added some ambient crackle and pop noise from the lightnin'--we got some phat beats! We're just on break..." Leon saw Nathan. Nathan saw him.

Leon: "Er, Berlin, I'll meet you at the loft..."

Nathan said, "Relax, son, you're free--for now. There was no real reason to keep you in jail. Just keep your nose clean, OK? You too, Berlin, know what I mean?"

"I'm clean, I swear!" Berlin said, "I've still got headaches fromt the Duke! Why don't you go tell Richocet..."

"I DID NOT INHALE!" Richocet got defensive.

"That's not what Carlos said," Leon said.

"Carlos is a wanker!" Richocet huffed. "Besides, it's Halloween Jack's fault..."

"WHERE?!" Dory arched and bristled.

"Calm down," Earthling said, "he ain't here."

"Dory, you've got claws," Tin asked, "go scratch him in the nuts!"

"I'm a love-urr, not a fight-urr," Dory purred.

"I don't know what you're all talking about," Yankee said, engrossed by the TV, "cocaine isn't addictive."

"Tell him," Tin nudged Earthling.

"Nah, let him figure it out," Earthling said. "Otherwise, Richocet may start losing." Richocet glared at Earthling.

"Yank, anything on TV?" Nathan inquired.

"The body's making morse code signals to some bald kid across the street."

"Moby?" Earthling asked. "He's a nice kid. What are they saying?"

Yankee translates: "The... Director...is...a...giant...prick...I...want...to...stay...home...and...shag...my...wife..."

"I'm sure Moby REALLY wanted to know that," Leon gulps his coffee.

Then, Earthling's mini-computer rings. A robotized voice buzzes, "You've Recieved Messages!"

"What happened to "You've Got M..." Nathan started, but the tavern shouted: "DON'T SAY IT!"

"Aw, c'mon," Nathan spit, "He ain't gonna know here!"

"Can't take chances, mate," Earthling opened the message. By holographic projecting, Boz--the cyborg embodiment of the BWW (Brain-Wide-Web)--appeared in the middle of the table for all the group to see and hear. He announced:

"Message recieved from T.J.Newton@davidbowiebrain.com at 1000 reads:
HELP! TVC15 tower collapsing..."

"Uh oh, here we go," Zane commented, "Speaking of addicts, Tommy's gonna go into withdrawal..."

Boz continues: "Major Tom trapped in TVC15 Tower. Send help ASAP!

"OH S**T!" The whole tavern rushed out!

"Meet you there!" Tin Machine ran down the street towards his apartment as the others ran to the tower.

At the tower....all the Bowies had congregated...

"I don't know what to do!" Thomas cried, "Pierrot's not strong enough to pick up the capsule alone, and the hatch is sealed shut!"

"Oh no, poor Major!" Liza wept. "Someone do something!"

Zane tapped Dory on the shoulder, "Come with me, quickly!"

"OK! EVERYONE CLEAR THE AREA!" Nathan announced to an anxious crowd. Across the crowd stood a woman--green skin, jet black spiky hair, chain mail skirt and black Jack-boots. She stood in front of a large, shadowy minotaur, and next to another man--long, white spiky hair and black cloak.

"Do you think he will die?" the cloaked man smiled coldly.

"If he does, I've got first dibs on his kidneys!" she cruelly licked her lips.

An old man next to her objected, "I need those! I've been on the waiting list for years!"

"Get away, you old pervert!" she kicked him away.

"Don't shoo me away, Ms. Stone--remember who your supplier is?"

"Apologies, Mr. Touchshriek, but you've had your kidneys long enough..."

"They're not for me..." Mr. Touchshriek polished his specs, "I've got customers of my own..."

"Oh, how commercial!" Ramona threw up her hands.

Meanwhile, in the town square, at a gold-winged statue...

"Help me, Dory..." Zane held Dory's paw. A sphinx is the symbol of magic, and Dory was a living power supplier of occult energy. Zane and Dory chanted:

"Magical being chained to live...Spider, awake!"

The statue flapped its wings, and underneath the statue, its glass pedistal stirred. It stood up on eight legs. The gold statue, Zero, sat on the Glass Spider's back!

"Why have I been awakened?" Zero stretched.

"As of now, you're on probation," Zane said, "Follow us, quickly!"

As the Glass Spider approached the tower, from another street, thundered the Tin Machine IV--Tin's giant robot warrior. Tin spoke from the robot's mouthpiece, "I'll hold the tower, someone get Major!" The Tin Machine IV braced the tower with its own metal body. The Glass Spider spit webbing onto the capsule, securing it so to prevent it from falling.

While Ramona was still argueing, Nathan grabbed her by the shoulder and yelled, "Your blowtorch, now!" There was a blowtorch on her belt.

"Why?" Ramona sneered. Nathan snatched it off her belt and ran off, to Ramona's indignified protest.

"Here, someone!" Nathan handed it off to Zero, as the winged statue flew to the capsule. Zero cut a hole in the capsule, and pulled out the unconscious astronaut.

Then, a bright flash of white lightning hit the tower! Zero flew off quickly with Major in his arms. Tin Machine, however, was being electrocuted! Tin screamed in pain from inside. The tower and Tin Machine IV glowed white hot and then....

It exploded in a brillant flash. The crowd ran for shelter screaming!

When the light died down, the tower was reduced to nothing but ashes. So had Tin Machine IV. Heavy smoke hung in the air.

"TIN!" Zane screamed!

The Bowies gazed in horror. Dory wept. The chorus girls wept. Ramona dissapeared, so had the cloaked man.

"HEY!" Leon shouted. From the smoke, emerged a figure, carrying an unconscious Tin Machine. The slender figure shone silver-blue, red hair, and a red-and-blue lightning bolt streaked across his peaceful, but somewhat sad face. He lay Tin on the ground, and without a word, in a sparkle of red and blue, vanished.

To be Continued

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/12/01 02:42 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Incurably Ill new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Later that morning...

He should have stayed at home. That's what his wife told him. That's what he was thinking to. David was in a cab to the video shoot, anyway--an indie theatre in the Village. He is a professional after all, he thought. He's played Carnagie Hall with the flu. He's performed drunk, high or hungover--and in most cases gave his best performances in those states! Or so others tell him...David doesn't remember....

I can see a doctor after the shoot, David thinks to himself. I'll survive in the meantime....
Suffragette City...Angel of Life Hospital

"I'm FINE, for f**k's sake!" Tin Machine insisted loudly. He was trying to get out of bed. The poker group was holding vigil, tending to his care. They were insisting that Tin stay and rest.

"Quit being so damn stubborn!" Ricochet scolded, "you were almost electrocuted to death!"

"No one here is really 'alive'," Zane said. "The body is what's alive. We're all either memories of David's past selves or invented characters. No one can really die..."

"Ziggy Stardust died," Yankee noted.

"Um...well...yes, true..." Zane paled.

"Still, wha' happened?" Tin swallowed some water. "One moment, I was in TM IV, the next..."

"Aladdin Sane pulled you out," Earthling explained. "He laid you on the ground, and then vanished without a word."

"F**kin' wierd," Tin mumbled. "He almost never leaves the Shrine. I would have liked to have said thank you."

"Aladdin and Duke have always kept the other in check," Zane said. "The two fought violently many years ago after Ziggy died. They contested over who should take his place as ruler of David's mind. Sometimes, Aladdin dominated, when David was happy. Other times, the Duke dominated, when David was unhappy. The war caused violent mood swings. Now, David's mind has been very stable over the past 10 years or so, because he has been very content, but now..."

"Has the Duke gotten stronger?" Ricochet asked.

"Or has Aladdin gotten weaker?" Yankee shuddered.

"Well," Zane thought out loud, "Peggy died very recently--it's caused David a lot of pain, and the Duke thrives on negative emotions. And Aladdin's hasn't left Ziggy's shrine in years--he thinks Ziggy is going to resurrect very soon and he needs to stand watch."

"Aladdin's nuts," Tin looked around to room for his clothes, "He's a sweet little thing, but he's nuts."

"If you're looking for your clothes," Nathan told Tin, "too late--they're ashes. We had to cut them off."

"F**K!" Tin spat.

Knock, knock! A voice was heard, "Tin--you decent in there?"

"No, I'm buck-ass nekkid!" Tin shouted.

Berlin walked in, smirking, "Not like I don't know what's there."

"How's Major Tom?" Earthling asked.

"He'll be fine...he just got a good bump to the head. Tommy and Pierrot's been there all day. The other Major also saw him--working on some lawsuit."

"That was fast!" Nathan lit a smoke.


Nathan: "But EVERYBODY smokes!"

A sprinkler from above douses Nathan: "PUT IT OUT, DETECTIVE".

"Fine..." Nathan spits out the cig and wipes his hat off.

"Lawsuits, hell!" Tin once again climbed out of bed, and wasn't concerned that his bare bottom was showing. "Let's go kick the Duke's ass!"

Knock, knock!

"If this is about that suit, Major Celliers, thanks but no!" Tin answered.

It wasn't Major Celliers. Two frightening creatures walked though the door--white, wrinkled skin, grotesque faces, eyes bound with black tape. The tape wrapped around their hideously bony, deformed bodies, with dead fish interwoven.

They spoke in unison, in monotone: "Zane-Ouvere-LeChien?"

"Yes?" Zane answered, quite puzzled.

Nathan thought to himself, "What do her goons want with Zane?"

The fish-men: "By-order-of-the-Thin-White-Duke, you-are-under-arrest."

"WHAT????" Zane bolted out of his seat. "Why?"

"No-questions. Come-with-us-or-else."

"No way!!" Zane protested. "The Duke almost killed Major Tom and Tin!"

One of the fish-men held up a hand, as electicity sparked from its bony fingers. It touched Zane only lightly, but shocked the frocked man into great pain. Zane fell backwards.

Nathan pulled his revolver--and his Bowie knife. So did Richocet, Earthling, Yankee and Berlin. All Bowies carried this blade around. All had silver handles with certain years inscribed, according to its owner. Tin, temporarily unarmed, curled his fists in a boxing position.

"In case you haven't noticed," Nathan said cooly, "you're outnumbered. So why don't you gentlemen go on an tell the Duke..."

Then, a pink mist poured from the ventillation ducts. It filled the room quickly.

"Um..." Yankee wobbles on his feet, "why is everything dancing?" He collapses.

Tin goes out next, then Earthling, then Zane...

"Smells of...peaches..." Richocet falls. Then Nathan.

When the five wake up...

"Zane!" Zane was gone! So were the fish-men.

"I'm going after them," Nathan gets up, "this was an illegal arrest."

"I'm coming too!" Tin got up slowly.

"NO you're not!" Earthling, Berlin, Yankee and Richocet set him back in bed.


"Tin, if you move from this bed," Richocet looks him straight in the eyes, "I'm telling the nurses you're constipated and requesting an enema."

Tin lay down without a word.

The group runs outside to find Halloween Jack tied to a tree, muzzled. Berlin cuts off the muzzle, as the dog barked: "The Duke nabbed Dory!"

"Gather the troops!" Earthling shouted, "we're staging a jailbreak!"

To be continued...
Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/14/01 01:29 AM
Slaughter in the Air new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Shortly after the collapse of TVC15 tower...at Angel of Life Hospital...

Major Tom opened his eyes, slowly, drowsily.

A white harlequin face looks down on him.

"Pierrot? Am I alive?" Major hoarsely speaks. Pierrot nodded.

"Where am I?" Major asks. Pierrot does not speak verbally. He makes wing gestures with his hands.

"Bird? Pink monkey-birds? Are they nesting on the tower again?"

Pierrot shook his head vigorously, and tried to explain again. Using body language, he re-created the tower, the capsule, the lightning storm, the rescue...

"So I'm in a hospital?" Major guesses. Pierrot nods.

"I hear weeping..." Tom tried to turn his head, and found that he's wearing some sort of brace. Pierrot makes gestures of a man removing a mask, and points to the TV in the room, now blank.

"Newton's here?" Tom moved his hand, stiffly and somewhat painfully. He felt a bald, scaly head by his bedside, and felt and heard that it was trembling.

"Oh, the tragedy, the carnage..." Newton wept so hard, his mask fell off. He was fully exposed as the alien he is.

"Newton." Tom rubbed the little alien's head.

"MAJOR!" Newton stopped weeping immediately, jumped up and threw himself on Major, embracing him tightly.

"OW, OW! Geddoff!" Major tried to push him off.

"I'm sorry, I'm just SO glad you're OK! But...oh, the humanity...Wah-hah-haaaah!"

"Was anyone hurt?" Tom asked.


"Am I...that badly hurt?"

"Oh, no, the doctors said you'd be fine--you were just knocked out cold. The brace was just a precaution." Newton removed the brace. Tom slowly sat up, with Pierrot's assistance.

"Then what happened?"

"MY TVC15...Oh, oh..." Newton started weeping again, "It's gone! The Duke obliderated the whole station!"

"But why?"

"I don't know--it was a good thing Zero pulled you out in time..."

"Zero and the Glass Spider? Weren't they sentenced to spend eternity as a statue?"

"Well, I guess, but Zero saved your life..."

Knock, knock! Berlin peeked in the door, "Is Major OK...OH! Newton, you scared me!"

"It's OK, come in," Newton put his wig and mask back on.

Major smiled, "Berlin, I'm fine, thank you."

"Someone's here to see you, sir," Berlin showed a man to the room, just as the alien was back in human-form. The visitor looked like Ricochet's twin, except he wore green fatigues, a hat and a red scarf. Upon entry, the visitor saluted respectfully.

"This is Major Celliers," Berlin introduced.

"I know, Berlin, thanks. Major," Tom saluted, "nice to make your acquaintance."

Celliers was a soldier, but he is also the town's attorney. He was a quiet man, but intelligent and well-spoken, "I'm sorry about your unfortunate incident, and I am happy that you are in good health. I've been called about a possible suit against the Duke..."

"I'm not suing the Duke," Tom interrupted. "I'm fine..."

Newton stood up and interrupted Tom, "I'm NOT! I want to sue the Duke for one billion pounds..."

"Newton, calm down," Tom grabbed his hand and sat him back down, "There are other ways of handling this."

"I agree," Celliers pointed to a WWII rifle that he always carried, "if I hadn't sworn off warfare..."

"Gentlemen, please!" Tom shouted. "The Duke is not an unreasonable man. Cold-hearted, yes. Insensitive--yes. Cruel--most definately. But I am determined to find the meaning of all this chaos without resorting to legal or physical warfare."

"It's too late," Berlin said, somberly, "The Duke seems to have already declared war on the whole city--all because of the cigarette shortage."

"Still," Celliers thought, "the initial incident with Major Tom's capsule being struck seems to have been an accident. Other objects, like trees and such, were also struck. But the second strike seemed very intentional. Question is...why?"
Zero rides the Glass Spider back to the town square. Liza, Veronica and Nana spot him.

"Zero!" They shout to him.

Zero, unfortunately, had been rejected by the entire city. He is the embodiment of David Bowie's worst period, artistically. He was often sneered at and mocked by almost everyone. At the time of Tin Machine, The Duke wanted him dead. Aladdin would not have another dead Bowie. To shield him from the Duke's wrath, Aladdin, Dory and Zane turned Zero into a statue--as a reminder of Bowie's falibility. The Duke could not destroy the statue--and only the three who cast the spell could undo it.

Now, Zero is alive again. And a target again.

"Please," Zero said sadly, "leave me alone."

"But you're a hero," Liza told him.

"Berlin is "Heroes". He was so mad at me for "Sons of the Silent Age..."

"No, no," Veronica said, "you saved Major Tom's life!"

Nana spoke, "We know we've all given you such a hard time, dear, but, we're sor..." Before Nana got the words out, the minotaur jumped out of the shadows and attacked the Glass Spider, shattering it to pieces!

The chorus girls ran screaming for cover, as Zero narrowly dodged the attack. He flew to another corner of the square, as the Spider quickly pieced itself together. The Spider then engaged in battle with the raging minotaur. Zero watched as he felt a sharp blow to the back. It felt like a bottle had been thrown at him.

Actually, it was a crystal orb.

Where the orb struck him began to sting, and burn. Zero quickly removed his gold jacket--acid had begun to burn it! Zero shielded himself with his gold wings and spun to face his attacker.

White spiky hair, white face, black facial tattooes, black coat, black gloves, cold smile... "By order of the Duke, you are sentenced to death!"

To be continued

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/15/01 03:16 AM
Splitting Headache--No Control new [re: Kristin Machina]  


David didn't quite get the concept of this video. Nor did he care. The video's director, Nigel McCool, was more busy barkig orders at his crew and constantly reminding everyone how HE directed a TRL-winning video...

"Whatever," Gail Ann Dorsey rolled her eyes. She sat on the edge of the theatre stage next to David. "Notice how I'm being a good girl and not smoking in front of you."

"Thanks, Gail," David smiled.

Gail turned to him, "Why are you doing this?"

"I've a responsibility to your fans..."

"NO, no, I'm not hearing that! That excuse is what caused Glass Spider."

Suffragette City...

"You see, Zero, even the humans don't respect you! You're better off dead!"

Zero: "And who are you? You look like Axl Rose joined the ballet!"

"I am the King of the Goblins, you insolent snot!"

"Look, it's really complicated...," David went to stand up.

"...like you," Earl Slick, his guitarist, noted. "What's really happening, Dave? No pun intended."
Rrrrrinnng! The phone rang in Major Tom's room...

"Hallo?" Major Tom answered.

"Turn on the TV!" Tin shouted over the phone!

"The TV stations are gone, Tin."

"WAH!" Newton sobbed.

"Oh, stop!" Major snapped.

"No, only the "reality station" is working! Turn on the TV, now! This is SOOO f**kin' juicy!" Tin chuckled.
"I don't wanna be wasting my time here if you don't," Earl said. "I think Mike, Sterling, Holly, Em, Lisa, Gail and Mark would agree with me. Just tell us why."

David took a deep breath...
Major Celliers was walking back to his office, thinking over the events of the last few days. He was lost in thought, common for him to be so. He has had a lot to think of--his brother, his life, the war, that Japanese soldier, his death... He wondered why he lived while Ziggy was dead. 'I couldn't be more important than he, can I?' Celliers mused, 'I'm a movie character, almost a second-class citizen in this place." He didn't see three women rounding a corner....

POW! Three bodies collided with his, sending all to the pavement...

"Ow! Oh," Nana groaned, "so sorry!"

"Argh, that's OK," Major helped them all to their feet, "Any of you hurt?"

Liza dusted off her skirt, "No, but you really should look where..." she looks at Celliers, "...you're...going..." She blushes, and grins.

Veronica brushes her hair back, and smiles, "Oh my, Major Celliers, what's a strong, handsome officer and gentleman like yourself doing..."

Nana screams, "THERE'S NO TIME FOR FLIRTING! Jesus," turns to Celliers, "you'd think they'd never seen a man in uniform before."

Celliers' face is bright red, "I...should be going..."

Nana grabs his arm, "No, no! You can't! We need help! There's a fight in Town Square! Zero is being attacked!"

"By whom?"

"Jareth!" Liza shouts.

"And the Minotaur attacked the Glass Spider!" Veronica added.

"We've got to bring them under control," Celliers grabbed his rifle, "they could tear this city apart! Ladies, get to somewhere safe, and stay away from the Square!" Celliers ran down the street.

Veronica and Liza sighed, "He's so brave!"

Nana shook her head and sighed.
"Nigel's father was a photographer," David explained.

"Yeah," the band listened.

"And, he took some pictures,"

"Uh-huh," Earl said.

"Nude pictures."

"Aw, c'mon!" Holly said, "Some of us saw "Man Who Fell to Earth." The band looked at her, and she blushed.

"Not me," David said.

"Iman?" Mike asked.

"One of those 'before-she-was-famous' moments?" Sterling guessed.

"No, no...Iman never did nudity." David said.

"Then who?" the band asked.

"A good friend of mine--a lady-friend-- was an aspiring model about 30 years ago."

"And now?" Lisa asked.

"She's running for Parliament."

The band: "OH!"

David: "Shhh..."

"But what does this have to do with you?" Earl was puzzled.

David: "I'm in the same pictures."

"Aw, damn..." Gail disolved into laughter. "I'm sorry, I know this isn't funny..."

David continued, a little annoyed, "I was fully clothed in the pictures--it wasn't porno. It was part of Nigel's dad's photography project for college. Or so he said. We were all so young and stupid..."

"But, Dave, this is blackmail!" Mike said, "You've got to tell the police!"

"If I do, it will be in the news: 'Bowie Involved in Politician's Nude Pic Scandal.' My friend will be ruined, either way! I can't let that happen."

Tin: "Whatta f**kin' Carton of a guy..."

"Nigel's dad died years ago, and Nigel still has the negatives. He'll release them to me at the end of his shoot."

"Better idea," Earl smacked his fist into his palm, "let's all kick his ass..."

"NO! That'll only make things worse! Please, let me handle this, my way. Alright?"



The band mumbled in chorus: "OK..."
"This is sad," Major Tom shook his head.

"The Duke has weakened him," Newton said. "If he hadn't been causing these storms, David would find another way to fight this."

"I think it's rather noble what the Body's doing but..." Major answered the ringing phone again.

"This is F**KIN' pathetic!!!" Tin screamed. "David Bowie has turned pussy! It's the Duke's fault, you know!"

"What's most frightening is," Major noted, "if David is surrendering to some callow pipsqueak of a director, who else will he surrender to?"

"We're doomed..." Newton sighed...
Zero and Jareth were locked in battle. Jareth threw burning crystal orbs at terrible speed, yet Zero's gold wings allowed him to dodge them, often by a hair. Zero drew his knife, and lunged at the King. Jareth transformed into an giant owl, and flew away from Zero's knife point.

"You want to fight, you piece of shite!?" Jareth screeched. Jareth swooped at Zero with his razor-sharp talons. Zero tried to dodge, but Jareth did manage to nick his scalp, taking a lock of golden hair. The cut wasn't deep, but it bleed profusely, and it stung.

Zero and the owl-goblin-king swooped at each other again, in a potentially deadly collision course...The arial dog fight raged, as the Glass Spider and the Minotaur lumbered down below. The giant beasts wrestled with each other, trading blows for cruel blows. The Spider's razor sharp legs did not do much damage to the shadowy Minotaur, and for every ounce of damage the Minotaur caused, the Spider regenerated. They tossed each other across the square, knocking out walls to buildings, streetlights, power lines... A power line snapped and, like a crazed surpent, spat electricity across the square, whipping in a mad frenzy....

Meanwhile, at the castle...

Earthling, Leon Blank, Lord Byron, Berlin, Nathan, Halloween Jack, Ricochet and Yankee all banged on the door. All brandished knives. Nathan drew his revolver.

"OPEN THIS DOOR!" Nathan banged on the door, "Official police business!"

"You'll never save Zane or Dory," Halloween Jack said somberly.

"Jack's right," Byron twitched nervously, "This is scary...let's go home..." He tried to run, but Leon grabbed him by the scarf.

"Nobody goes anywhere until we get Zane and Dory back," Leon glares at Byron.

A growling sound came from around the castle. From around each dark corner, a pack of hideous dog-like creatures surround the group.

"Good boy, Jack," Ricochet smiled confidently, "you brought reinforcements..."

The Dogs were growling at the Bowies. One snapped it teeth towards Yankee.

"YIKES! Um, Jack, tell them we're the good guys..." Yankee shook.

Halloween Jack growled.

"Jack? What's going on?" Earthling approached Jack, but Jack jumped on him, pinning him to the ground. Jack's mouth foamed, teeth bared.

Low, humorless laughter echoed from within the castle. The doors opened---five fishmen came out with knifes of their own. The group was surrounded--and outnumbered 3 to 1. Following was Ramona, with a raygun. She stood smugly in the doorway, aiming the gun at the stunned men.

Then, the Duke emerged...dragging Zane and Dory by their golden hair.

"Stupid Earthling," the Duke clucked his tongue, "how do you think Dory was captured in the first place?"

"I don't believe this shi..." Leon started towards the Duke with his knife, when one of the Diamond Dogs sank its teeth into his arm. Leon screamed and dropped the knife. Blood oozed from his arm.

"Drop your knives, now!" Ramona cocked the gun.

The group obeyed--fighting would be foolish at this point.

The Duke said: "I don't like being disobeyed.."

"What the hell are you doing?" Nathan shouted. "Why did you attack Zane and Dory?"

"They broke the law! They revived Zero..."

"But Major Tom was in danger," Ricochet spoke, but another dog snapped at him.

"Silence, you overbaked banana!" The Duke boomed. "I am the rightful ruler of this city--and my will is law!"

"The hell it is!" Nathan spat, "Who died and made you..."

"Ziggy! That's who! Ziggy and his mentally-incapacitated twin, Alladin brought nothing but chaos to this realm. I brought order!"

"And you almost killed us all," Yankee mumbled.

"I wouldn't talk, if I were you," The Duke growled. "After All, who started the Everlasting Winter? Or was it Halloween Jack?" The Everlasting Winter was 4 years of unrelenting snowfall. Cocaine, in other terms.

The Duke continued, "It was glorious--the whold world covered in beautiful white! No color anywhere! David was never quite so brilliant as those Golden Years! The years when he dispensed of that extraterrestrial freak-of-nature and is assinine ideas of 'love for all'! But was David content to live in such a heavenly haze...OF COURSE NOT! First, he," The Duke glares at Berlin, "cuts the cocaine. Little by little, he starved me!"

"David starved him?" Earthling mumbled. Jack snapped his jaws--his teeth came dangerous close to his face.

"Shut up!" The Duke shouted. "I had lost my precious snow. I lost the alcohol. I lost the orgies. If it wasn't for the nicotine, this body would become a bougeous shadow of its former self." The Duke sneered, "NOW, he's 'happily married' with his 'beautiful wife' with his 'darling baby' and his 'never has to make a record again' because he's 'set for life' and 'content with getting old' and....do you have ANY idea how this is KILLING me???!!!!" the Duke screamed. Lightning flashed across the skies.

"Now," the Duke continued, "The Body is quitting the cigarettes. The cigarettes, gentlemen. An object which has become part of our collective identity! Thoughout good times and bad, rich or poor, brillant and not-so--thoughout all the 'ch-ch-changes' this body has been through," he shakes Zane a little, sneering, "there has only been one constant. I...certainly would die...in this insufferable hell...if it were not for the nicotine. And now...it's going. Going. Almost gone. I...will not...repeat...will NOT...allow this to happen! And I will tear this place apart unless the Body changes the error of his ways!"

"And why do you think the Body will go back to smokin?" Nathan asked?

"Why," The Duke sighed, "look at how much pressure the Body is under. Poor David is soooo tired--he can't even defend himself against his blackmailer. And 'poor Mummy.' The Body feels so guilty about 'all of the very bad things he's done to hurt her'." Every syllable dripped with sarcasm.

"And Ramona," Nathan asked, "What's your role in this?"

Ramona wrapped her free arm around the Duke's slender waist, "Why, I've been rather concerned of the lack of artistic quality that the Body's been making. The Duke and believe very strongly that David's art must be preserved," she and the Duke share a long, tonguey kiss, then break, "Anything that interferes with the art must be eliminated."

Leon fights back the urge to vomit.

"You're both insane!" Ricochet shakes his head, "you honestly believe that if David stops smoking, the music goes down..."

"Why not?" Ramona says, "listen to Berlin's Trilogy...'Low' was quite good--"Lodger" was crap! Why? Less cocaine!"

"When the cocaine stopped," the Duke continued, "We were reduced to some middle-of-the-road pop singer--like you, Ricochet! Can you even imagine what will happen if the cigarettes stop?"

Byron was shaking, "Pardon me, your highness, but..are you going to kill us?"

The Duke stood silent for a moment, then looked at Ramona. Ramona laughed. The Duke sighed and said, "No. Jareth should be done killing Zero by now. That peeping-Major-Tom is out of action, for now. But...if The Body does not resume my desired income of nicotine..." he speaks darkly, "Zane and Dory will be executed!"

To Be Continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/16/01 03:22 AM
Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve new [re: Kristin Machina]  

The shoot was torturous. Nigel insisted on 10 different camera angles for each 10 seconds of the song. He was constantly screaming at the cameramen to move "just an inch to the left..no right! TOO CLOSE! Get that bald girl out of the way! No, too far, I can see wrinkles--Clarise!! More pancake..."

Ten hours had passed. Two of them was Nigel's lunch break. That and he simply HAD to go to Tower and buy the new Britney video--the one HE directed!

David was at the end of his patience, "I would gladly kill for a cigarette right now."

"It's OK, Dave," Gail muttered. "If you will, kill HIM!" nodding to Nigel, who was now screaming at a hapless PA for scuffing his Doc Martens.

Suffragette City...

"Better yet, David," the Duke lounged on his throne, Ramona draped across his lap, "I'LL kill if you don't have a cigarette!"

Zane and Dory were tied, standing up, back to back, on a stone pillar. A fishman stood by with a giant guitar-axe, ready at the Duke's command.

"Now, dahling," Ramona cooed, "it is right that we kill those two? After all, they are our forefathers."

"If it wasn't for Zane, there would be no Tin Machine. And Hunky Dory is nothing but a sappy love-letter to Lou and Bob and his baby," the Duke stuck out his tongue in disgust. "They are just rough drafts--WE," he nipped on her ear, "are the true masterpieces!"

In the dungeon...

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULTS!" Byron screamed. "We're trapped in a damp, dark, slimy dungeon--They're no circulation, my hair is already getting all frizzy..."

"OH SHUT THE F**K UP!" Leon shouted, re-bandaging his arm. "We've got bigger problems!"

"Right," Ricochet leaned against the wall, "if the Body stops smoking, Zane and Dory are done for."

"I can believe Jack turned on us," Earthling lie on the cot.

"The Duke is a powerful sorcerer," Yankee said. "Jack was probably under a spell." He shivered.

"Here, kid," Nathan offered him his trenchcoat.

"No thanks, I'm not cold..." Yankee said.

"Surprised, since ya ain't got an ounce of fat to keep yer bones warm," Nathan said.

"I was just remembering the Eternal Winter," Yankee put his chin to his knees.

Berlin said, from a corner, "Yank, you could not have really caused the Winter, right?"

"Let's just say I didn't help." Yankee sighed. "It kept me up at night. It gave me lots of time to write--otherwise I'd just keep snortin'. Wrote a whole album in a week. I didn't know..."

"You couldn't have," Ricochet said.

"I was feeding a monster," Yankee said. "I thought it was the ghost of Ziggy, but the true monster was the Duke And the Duke didn't even have a name at that point! Didn't even know he existed."

"Where's Zero?" Leon asked.

"God only knows..." Byron sighed.

"Dear God, don't sing that song again!" Leon covered his ears.

"Wherever he is," Nathan slumped against the wall, "he's a..."

"Dead man walking?" Earthling cocked an eyebrow.

"Flying is more accurate," Nathan thought he heard booming from a distance. Maybe it was the Duke again...or...

In the Square...

Zero and Jareth traded blow for nasty blow. Blade against claw--dodging and swooping, clashing and slashing, until...

The owl tore one of Zero's wings off in a devastating strike. Zero crashed to the ground in a tail-spin. Not only was one wing gone, but his back was slashed and bleeding.

Jareth turned back into human form--if you can call him human. From under his cloak, the King drew a long, wicked-looking blade. He held the hilt by two hands, aimed carefully at the wounded Zero and....


A bullet knocked the sword out of Jareth's hands. The Goblin King howled in shock and outrage. His eyes flashed red, as he spun around...

To look into the business-end of a rifle.

Jareth's alabaster-pale face drew even paler. A visible fear swept his elfin features--black-rimmed eyes grew wide with horror.

"You...and your mad cow...cease and desist...now," Major Celliers said cooly, aiming the gun right between the eyes.

Jareth is allergic to iron. His reaction would be serious injury or death. Jareth's brow poured sweat, as he bellowed, "Minotaur, heel!"

The Minotaur, locked in deadly battle with the Spider, stopped immediately. The Spider, too, stepped back.

"Go home," Celliers made a mad kind of grin, "and don't let me catch you bothering this boy or anyone else again."

Jareth's face then grew red with anger, "Don't let me catch YOU without your gun!" Humiliated, he turned into an owl again and flew off. The Minotaur vanished.

Celliers stooped down and examined Zero's wounds.

"I...can't...feel...my legs," Zero muttered. Celliers deduced that Zero may also have some broken ribs--the former golden-statue was bleeding from the mouth and nose.

"Relax, boy," Celliers tried to soothe him, "I'll get help..."

"Let...me...die..." Zero wept. "I've...disgraced...the Bowie name. I've...*gasp*...brought nothing...but pain and embarrassment...I...*cough, cough*...Aaaah!"

"Stop it!" Celliers tried to stop the bleeding, "Self-pity never helped anyone--I should know..."

"It's because...of me...that Zane...and Dory..will die."

"What?" Celliers was puzzled. "Zero?"

Zero passed out.

"ZERO!!?? Wake up!"

Celliers suddenly felt a hand on the shoulder.

"Didn't I tell you girls to stay away," Celliers barked angrily, but turned around to see...

"Oh...I..It's you..."

To Be Continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
05/16/01 08:57 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve new [re: Kristin Machina]  

This is magnificent!!! Simply brilliant, and soooooooo much fun!
Do keep going. I can't wait to see what'll happen next...

"Because we kiss in time, because we love our kind,
because we're wonderful...sometimes."

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/20/01 10:56 PM
Splitting Headache--Aladdin Sane new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Aladdin Sane hovered just above. Brilliant red hair, naked silvery skin, and that unmistakable red-and-blue tattoo--he exuded tranquility.

He knelt by Zero's broken body, and placed his slender hands on Zero's chest. A light shimmered through the fallen battler. Zero stiffened up, and was a statue once more.

Aladdin looked at Celliers, and pointed to a wing lying in the street. Celliers got up and picked up the disembodied wing. He gave it to Aladdin, and the little genie reattached it.

Aladdin raised his hands to the sky, and the statue levetated off the ground. By magic, the statue was replaced at the Square center, on top of the Spider. The Spider set it's legs down flat on the ground, and there it stayed.

Major was in awe--he had never seen Aladdin this close before. He cautiously approached the genie, as if her were a precious butterfly about to fly away again. Celliers gently tapped Aladdin on the shiny shoulder, "Um....Mister Aladdin Sane...sir?"

Aladdin turned around. Celliers saw the look of anguish on his tattooed face. Opalescent tears fell from his red eyes.

Aladdin said, "Ziggy's children are in danger."

Celliers: "Yes, Zero told me that Zane and Dory are in trouble. Jareth hurt Zero pretty badly. And Major Tom and Tin are..."

"I must confront the Duke once more," Aladdin said somberly. "He is threatening the well-being of everyone in this realm."

Celliers: "Is Zero being punished again?"

Aladdin: "It is best for him to remain a statue. Otherwise, he would be a moving target for the Duke."

Celliers: "Berlin said that Zane and Dory had to release him. Major Tom was in trouble."

Aladdin nodded, "Their intentions were good--but they only compounded the problem. The Duke struck that tower deliberately--to kill Zero."

Celliers' face went red, "But it's not their fault! You can't blame them for trying to save a life."

Aladdin calmly said, "I'm not blaming anyone. It does not matter, anyway. The Duke has gone mad. He must be brought under control."

Celliers clasped his rifle, "Let me come with you to the Duke's! I can't let him hurt anyone else!"

"No," Aladdin said, "I will not put anyone else in jeopardy. Go home." With that, Aladdin began to float skyward, but Celliers grabbed his foot...

"You don't get it!" Celliers shouted. "We're ALREADY in jeopardy! We can't just sit idle, waiting to be blown to oblivion on some whim! No you can fly off, but I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not!"

Aladdin looked skyward, and thought silently, "Should I, Ziggy?" Aladdin mused for a few moments, then, "Follow me." Aladdin flew down the streets, as Celliers ran after....

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/22/01 03:51 PM
Splitting Headache--Get Me Out of Here! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

It's midnight in Manhattan. The balcony scenes are taking forever. Nigel wants Bowie to look like he's watching a movie, reflecting on his long, painful life.

Bowie thinks: "The only thing long and painful is this shoot. Nigel, we need to talk!"

Nigel glides over to David in a cock-sure manner, "Hey, Davy, Whazzup?"

"First of all, it's Mr. Bowie to you. Second, do you have the foggiest idea of what you're doing?"

"Suuure!" Nigel waved. "You see, I'm trying to capture the...um...essense of...what it's like to be really old and...."

Bowie jumped from the balcony seat, "THAT'S IT!! I've had it! I'm sick and tired of this video. I'm going home to my wife and child! Mates," Bowie called down to his band, "we're leaving!"

The band cheered: "About time...you tell 'im, Dave!"

As Bowie stormed to the door, apologizing quietly to the stunned staff, Nigel cooly called out, "That's just toooo bad. Of course, I'm sure YOU'RE used to being smeared in the tabloids by now." David stopped cold. Nigel continued, "I mean, I'm sure you don't care what others say, 'cause you think you've got nothing to lose. You're a rock star, after all. Bad press is still good press," Nigel slithered up to David, and whispered, "But to an aspiring politician, bad press is still bad press. If you know what I mean."

David clenched his fists and teeth. His face went red. He then let out an exasperated sigh, turned around and said, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Simple." Nigel said. "Instant credibility. Once Hollywood knows that I directed a David Bowie video, I can get out of the teeny-bopper gig before it loses steam. I'll be directing all the REALLY big names, and who knows--I may even direct a feature film! Now, can we be professionals and finish the shoot?"

David's mismatched eyes flashed cold flames. He then meet his band at orchestra level.

"Well?" Gail hoped for an end.

David shook his head, "I'm sorry...."

"Damn it!" the band spat!

"Nigel," David called to the director, "can we have a cigarette break?"
The Duke's Castle

"Finally!" Ramona rejoiced, "He's guaranteed to smoke at least 3 at once after that little pipsqueak's little threat.

"I've got him right where I want him," The Duke coldly smirked.

Zane and Dory breathed a sigh of relief...and defeat.

Meanwhile...in the dungeon...

"Leon?" Berlin was shaking the napping prisoner. Leon mumbled.

Nathan called, "Leon?"

Leon shot up in bed, "I'm telling you...I haven't been to Oxford Town!!"

"Calm down, geez," Nathan said. "Berlin thinks he knows how to get out of here."

Berlin said, "Everyone listen up. We're going to pretend that Yankee is sick, since he is the sickliest of all of us..."

"F**k you," Yankee flipped him off.

"Please, Yankee?" Richocet asked.

"Oh..fine!" Yankee took Leon's place on the mat. "OOOOOOOOHHH....the pain....the PAIN!!"

"Help!" Earthling cried out to the guards. "Our friend is sick! Somebody help us!"

The guards did nothing but stand still at their posts.

"I told you it was a stupid idea," Byron sneered.

"Oh, you have anything better?" Berlin glared.

"That was no good," Nathan said. "The fishmen and Dogs have no reverence for life."

Leon was standing in a corner, when he felt something move under his feet. He stepped aside to inspect, when he saw a panel move, and two little hands emerge. It was too dark in the hole to make out a face.

"Oh, excuse me," a soft, tiny, female voice was heard. "I took the wrong tunnel. Excuse me..."

"Wait!" Earthling ran to the hole. "Can you get us out of here?"

"My master will be very angry with me."

"Don't worry, we'll protect you," Ricochet said. "We just need to find two friends of ours. One has a blue dress, the other looks like a half-human, half-cat. Have you see them here?"

"No." The little voice said.

"Damn," Earthling spat. "Well, can you at least show us out of this cell?"

"It's not safe for you," the voice whispered. "You'll only get captured or killed, like that winged man."

"Zero's dead??" Byron's eyes widened.

"I thought no one cared about him," Nathan asked.

"He still didn't deserve to die, poor bloke," Byron said. It could have been me, he thought to himself.

"She's got a point," Berlin said. "We really need to keep out of Duke's sight."

"I can hide you. Follow me..." the voice disappeared down the hole. The opening was narrow, but the slender Bowies were able to just about able to fit through. Nathan had a bit more difficulty.

"Oof," Nathan squeezed down the hole, holding his breath. The others pulled on his legs and coat, until he plopped down on solid ground like a cork out of a bottle.

"Nathan, one word--diet." Byron smirked.

"Follow me..." the voice was heard down a tunnel. It was pitch dark, so the Bowies had to feel their way slowly down the narrow pathway....
Angel of Life Hospital

Major Tom's wounds healed quickly. The benefit of an imaginary character is the rules of human healing don't apply here.

Newton and Pierrot were eating popcorn on the hospital bed, watching the only station available--what David was seeing now.

Knock, knock!

Tin swung the door wide open, "Hey, Tommy!"

"Which one?" Newton and Major asked.

"Both of ya, and the clown too! Tired of this reality s**t?"

"Worse than 'The Mole.'" Newton nodded.

"Great--let's break outta here and kick the Duke's ass!!"

"We can't just walk out!" Major Tom objected.

"Don't worry. Monte had a 'very nice chat' with the nurses. If anyone asks, we're on a 'cigarette break.'"

"Oh, good," Newton said, "because David is going to light up a..."

"Just move yer arses!" Tin, Major and Pierrot were off and away...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/29/01 06:56 PM
Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"Phew! We're out!" Ricochet stepped into an open space--a cobblestone catacomb, lit by torches. It looked like it was set up as a laboratory--there were tables filled with strange specimens in jars, bubbling liquids and parchments everywhere.

The other Bowies followed. Berlin looked around and said, "Where the hell are we?"

"Hey, little girl? Little girl?" Ricochet called, but she was no where to be found.

"Hush, y'all, look!" Leon whispered. A hammock was slung in a corner, and Jareth was fast asleep inside. He seemed to be angrily mumbling in his sleep.

"Great," Nathan whispered, "she delivered us straight to the fruitcake."

"Our knives!" Berlin found their blades neatly laid out on a table.

"Great," Lord Byron snatched his, "let's off the Duke! He killed Zero!"

"Byron, hush," Earthling covered Byron's mouth, "lower you voice! We're still outnumbered. Let's just find Zane and Dory and get out of here."

A sudden, loud crash was heard upstairs, and a great alarm was sounded!

"What's going on?" Yankee jumped. Then, gunshots and the sound of yelping dogs was heard.

Jareth fell out of his nest, "What the bloody hell is....?" As he tried to recover, a hand yanked at a large lock of his wispy hair, and a knife was held to his throat.

"Not one move, birdbrain!" Leon hissed, "or my criss-criss machete cuts your pipes."

"Leon, don't!" Nathan found his revolver on the table and pointed it at Leon.

"Relax, Professor Detective. Jareth's gonna lead us to our friends. I ain't gonna kill him...yet."

"Don't hurt him!" the little voice came out of the shadows. In the light, her identity was revealed--a lithe body, just out of puberty, limbs wrapped in bandages, a dirty shift dress, long dirty blond hair...

"No...." Leon's face went pale. "It's can't be..." He lost his grip on Jareth and fainted backwards. Nathan was stunned. The others were confused.

"Grace Blue?" Nathan gasped.

A volley of lightning crashes were heard upstairs.
"NOOOO!" The Duke screamed. "I'm too close to getting my smoke!"

Aladdin Sane shouted, "Release the prisoners, now!" He tossed a pair of red and blue bolts, but the Duke countered with two white bolts.

Major Celliers was surrounded by the Diamond Dogs and Halloween Jack. He tried holding them off with his rifle, but they slowly closed in on him. Then...

A wall crashes in, an a hulking metal monster stomps in. The Dogs are frightened off and flee, except for Jack.

Out of the machine's top hatch comes Tin, "Meet the Tin Machine V! Three tons of kick-ass!" Major Tom, Pierrot, Monte and Newton crawl out.

"Just in the nick of..." Celliers couldn't finish his thanks when Halloween Jack pounced on top of him. Celliers blocked Jack's dangerously powerful jaws with his gun. "Don't worry about me--Get Zane and Dory!!"

"But..." Newton objected.

"THAT'S AN ORDER!" Celliers bellowed. As the soldier and the dog struggled against each other, the others ran down the corridors to find the captives...
Taking advantage of Nathan's shock of finding a murdered girl alive, Jareth threw a crystal ball directly at Nathan's gun, knocking it out of his hand. He then formed another orb--a ball of fire and took aim....

Yankee socked him in the jaw, and the wizard reeled backwards, tripping over the passed-out Leon!

"Good boy, Yank--I've taught you well," Ricochet said.

Nathan retrieved his gun, "Now, take us to our mates or it's bye-bye, birdie!"

"STOP IT!" Grace grabbed Nathan's thick arm in desperation. "No killling!"

"You little traitor!" Byron sneered. "You lead us to a trap!"

"No, no! Master revived me--I thought you could help him revive Ziggy!"

"WHAT??" the Bowie gasped.

"Whoa, whoa, you're gettin' ahead of me!" Nathan released her grip. "Are you saying Jareth is trying to revive Ziggy Stardust?"

"Right, Master has a theory..."

"Excuse me, but we don't have time!" Berlin interrupted. "Our friends are in danger, and it sounds like there's a war up there!"

"You'll...never save them..." Jareth pulled himself up, "the Duke is far more powerful than all of us. You had best stay out of our business."

"And what business do you have with the Duke?" Berlin glared.

Grace said, "Master's going to overthrow the Duke."

"SHUT UP!" Jareth snapped.

"Geddoff!" Leon woke up and pushed Jareth aside.

"Since Master revived me, I'm his slave. If he revives Ziggy, he'll have the most powerful servant in the realm, and..."

Jareth snapped his fingers and sew Grace's mouth closed.

"You're cracked," Earthling shook his head. "But why are you working for him?"

"I'm not as stupid as you look," Jareth sneered. "If I oppose the Duke, he'll burn me to a crisp. I'm just pretending to work with him until I can gather the means to undermine him."

"Here's an idea," Nathan said, "why don't you help us? Your magic can fend off the goons, while we retrieve our friends."

"No," Jareth refused and spun around, straight into Leon's face.

Leon: "I don't think that was a request."

"Never mind," Ricochet made his way to the steps, "if he thinks he's too weak of a wizard to take on the Duke..."

"What??!!" Jareth squeaked.

"Right," Earthling added, smirking, "I guess when it comes down to it, his balls just ain't as mighty as he thinks."

"MY BALLS ARE POWERFUL!" Jareth screamed indignantly. "My balls can crush..." He stopped when he detected some snickering in the group. Blushing, he spit, "Fine. I'll prove I can take him on. I don't care if you all get fried to a crisp...."
***************************************************************************David stood in the back alley of the theatre, with his band beside him, slowly drawing a cigarrette. He went to light it, but stopped short of igniting.

He stared at the little stick of tobacco.

"Dave?" Earl asked. "You OK?"

David put the stick to his lips and...
"Get out of my way!" Duke threw more bolts. "I need my smoke!"

"Release the prisoners first!" Aladdin countered. The throne room shook with the force of their blows. The light was blinding.

Zane and Dory squeezed their eyes shut.

The axemen were dazed. They lost their orientation and couldn't find their captives.

Aladdin realized that his battle may inadvertently destroy the captives, so he lounged for the Duke, grabbed him by the collar, and the two flew off to the rooftop, crashing threw the ceiling.

The light dimmed, and the axemen could now see. The captives were gone! Instead, they were zapped by a man in a spacesuit....

"Follow me!" Newton led Zane and Dory out, but were blocked by Ramona, holding a very large gun.

"Don't move!" Ramona aimed.

Newton drew his revolver, "I've got a gun too! Let us pass!"

"Go on, little alien, shoot!" Ramona dared him.

Newton pulled the trigger, a loud bang was heard, but Ramona stood unharmed.

"Um, Tommy," Zane asked, "are there still blanks in that?"

"Oh, nuts..." Newton felt very helpless.

"No blanks in mine!" Ramona taunted, when something hit her sharply across the back of her head. With a cane.

"Nana!" the three balked.

Nana, Liza and Veronica stood behind Ramona, "We couldn't just sit by and..."

Ramona got up and retrieved her gun, "You meddling bitches!" Then, almost out of Charlie's Angels, Veronica roundhoused the gun out of Ramona's hand, and Liza punched her in the face. The mad artist was sent falling to the floor.

"Now let's..." Dory found that they were now quickly surrounded by fishmen and Diamond Dogs. "Uh, oh...."

An orb shattered against the head of a fish-men, knocking him out!

"Charge!" Earthling and company, including a reluctant Jareth, charged against the canine army.

"What did you say, David?"

"No." David stamped out the cigarrette before he could light it. "I beat coke. I beat booze. I beat pills. If I can beat this, that little twerp doesn't stand a chance." He stood tall and upright, with a new burst of energy. He then stormed through the stage doors.

"David!?" his band called after him. "What are you doing??"
"What is he doing??" The Duke stopped cold. "No, he can't!!"

"He can!" Aladdin proclaimed. "You're reign of terror is over!"
"Attention, McCrap!" Bowie grapped a microphone and defiantly announced. "I may be pushed around by a worthless piece of shite like you, but I'm not giving in to my addiction."


"I'm quitting!"

"You can't quit!" Nigel screamed, "We have a contract!"

"I meant..."


David's headache was coming back, but he felt strangely numb to it...

"I've quit the cigarrettes. Forever."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the Duke screamed. "I'LL DESTROY IT ALL!!! I'LL DESTROY THIS WHOLE REALM!!" The Duke then conjured the most violent thunderstorm ever!

"Duke, STOP!" Aladdin begged.


"What's going on?" Tin felt the castle tremble like an earthquake. The trembling got worse--the walls started to crumble. A bright light filled the castle....

The combatants all stopped cold....

Aladdin glowed brightly, "In the name of Ziggy Stardust, I won't let you....!" Aladdin summoned all his energy and....
"AAAAHHH!" David fell to his knees, tightly grasping his throbbing head.

The crew rushed to his side, and so did his band.

"DAVID!!" Earl shouted. "Someone call an ambulance!"

Then, a bright flash filled the theatre, lasting no more than a quarter of a second, and all the lights go out....

To be continued....

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
05/30/01 08:25 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Oooo. Now this is getting very interesting indeed...


Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/01/01 02:20 AM
Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Kristin Machina]  


"Wha' 'appened?"

"Hey! What's on my leg??"

"It's so dark in 'ere..."

"OK, people!" Nigel shouted. "Nothing to worry about! Dave? David? Are you OK, Dave?"

"Which one?"

Somehow the generators were turned back on, and the stage lights were re-illuminated.

The crew, director, and band stood stunned.

There was a huge dog-pile of Bowies on stage!

"Everybody, get off!" Byron shouted.

"Someone's got their hand up my dress!" Zane shouted. "Mr. Touchshriek??"


"Whoa, watch the wings!" Berlin was being poked in the face by...

"Zero!" Dory said. "You're alive!"

"Dammit..." Jareth's voice was muffled by his face being pressed against the floor.

Grace wiggled herself free, although she was now missing an arm, "Here, I'll help you..."

"Thanks, kid," Ricochet said as he slowly recovered.

"WHAT'S poking me in the bum!!??" Liza screamed.

"Just my rifle, ma'am, sorry," Celliers helped the others onto their feet.

Newton looked around, "Hey! This is just like the TV!"

"Wait a minute," Earthling looked around, "This doesn't look like anything in Suffragette City..."

"You're right," Major Tom noted, "This looks like..."

Pierrot tugged frantically at Major's sleeve. On the stage, unconscious, was...

"Is that the ...hours character?" Veronica asked.

"Negative," Boz materialized from Earthling's pocket pilot, "That character would be me. That is our host body."

"No f**kin' way!" Tin shouted! "That's f**kin' impossible! How did we get out here? And where the hell IS here!"

"Ahem," Nigel played cool and slid up the the stage area, "THIS is New York City! Hi, I'm..."

"The leech," Celliers cocked his gun.

"The Body's not waking up," Nana knelt by David's side.

"Outta my way!" Earl pushed his way through the crowd, "David?? David, wake up!!"

No response.

"Is he dead?" Ramona asked, smiling wickedly, "Can I use his kidneys?"

"NO!" the Bowies shouted in unison.

"What did the Duke do now, witch?" Leon grabbed her angrily by the breastplates and shook her. Ramona slapped him soundly across the face. The others rushed to restrain them before a fight escalated!

"The Duke killed our Body!" Leon screamed.

"He's not dead," Earl said, "He's breathing and he's got a pulse. But we need help, now!"

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!!" Gail screamed. "It's a good thing Earl is so calm, because I don't believe what I'm seeing!!"

Mike cautiously approached Halloween Jack, who was just waking up from being knocked unconscious, "This one's got dog legs--incredible..."

Jack snapped at Mike, but Celliers grabbed him by the neck before Mike could be hurt, "Heel!!" Celliers throttled Jack.

Jack shook, and his eyes cleared, "Wha...where am I? What happened? Is Major Tom OK?"

"Are you really all David Bowie?" Holly asked the group, wide-eyed.

"Um, yes...and no..." Ricochet said. "I'm kind of David, so is Earthling and Berlin...but others of us are totally different characters like Halloween Jack and..."

"Aladdin and Duke?" Yankee asked.

"Right, Aladdin and Duke won't respond to the name David, but..."

Yankee tapped Ricochet, "No, no, where's Aladdin and Duke?"
On the theatre rooftop...

"What have you done?" The Duke slowly, painfully rolls to his stomach.

"I've pulled everyone out of Suffragette City before it collapsed..." Aladdin Sane huffed and puffed from exhaustion--the counter spell took all his energy.

"You little fool," The Duke crawled on his belly, with his knife drawn, "You think you've saved yourselves," The Duke grabbed Aladdin's hair, and positioned the blade against his neck, "but now, I'm free from the confines of David's mind, and there's a whole new world to conquer!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
06/02/01 02:25 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Kristin Machina]  

the plot thickins....yummy indeed!!! keep up the wonderful story :) starbuck

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

(electric tomato)
06/04/01 07:16 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside new [re: Starbuck]  

Hee hee hee..this is so great..
I wish David happened to surf around the board one day and read this. Very unlikely that'd ever happen, but...wouldn't it really be something..I'm sure it'd make him laugh too.


Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/06/01 02:01 AM
Splitting Headache--Night Flight new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As Aladdin awaited the cold kiss of steel to slice across his throat...

"Duke, wait!" Ramona and Jareth appeared on the rooftop.

"Stay out of this! This is personal!" The Duke commanded.

"I wouldn't do it if I were you," Jareth said cooly, hands behind his back, "after all, living with Ziggy the martyr must have been hard enough. But Aladdin the martyr..."

Ramona finished, "The others will never follow you if they knew you killed Zig...I mean...Aladdin!" She quickly covered her slip, but the Duke noticed.

The Duke slowly rose to a croutch, "I can't live with them alive, either. I'd rather see this little idiot..."

In a flash, Aladdin rose and flew off the rooftop!

"Come back here, little genie!" Duke shouted, "There's nowhere for you to go!"

Jareth raised his hands, and a burst of light lit the midnight sky.

"What was that you just did?" Ramona asked.

"A barrier," Jareth said, "Aladdin won't be able to leave this island. Unfortunately, neither can any of us."

The Duke stood up, "I'll find him...and I'll kill him myself!"

Ramona and Jareth stopped him, grabbing an arm each, "Wait."

Ramona said, in one ear, "Why do all the hard work yourself..."

Jareth, in the other: "When there's an army of concerned Bowies downstairs who are more than eager to find their missing comrade?"

Ramona: "Aladdin is clearly confused and disoriented."

Jareth: "If we split up, it would be relatively easy to find him."

Ramona: "Besides, we've got bigger plans for the little genie." She and Jareth smiled wickedly.

Jareth: "Bring him under our control--and the world will be ours!"

Ramona: "He meant...yours, my sweet Duke." She kissed Duke's cheek, as Jareth scowled.

Jareth: "But we must work together."

Ramona and Jareth extended a hand: "Deal?"

The Duke paused a moment, then extended a cold hand on top of theirs, "Deal."

Ramona and Jareth shared a giddy laughter, while the emotionless Duke's eyes flashed thunder....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/12/01 00:58 AM
Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"Did anything unusual happen?" the paramedic asked, as the EMS team assessed the unconscious David and gently placing him on the stretcher.

"Are you kidding? There was...!" Nigel started to speak, but Earl interrupted.

"...Nothing unusual," Earl said. "He quit cigarettes today, and he'd been having splitting headaches for days."

"Poor guy," the paramedic said, shaking his head.

"But there were multiple Bowies!" Nigel screamed. "They were all here....!"

"Uh," Gail covered his mouth, "don't pay him any attention. We've been having a 14-hour shoot with no break. We're all tired and," nudging Nigel, "seeing things!"

"I AM NOT!!" Nigel screamed. "They're lying! They're all sitting right there, in the seats!"

Mike said to the paramedic, "He means the extras--the look-a-likes for the video. It's kind of a retrospective concept."

Jareth ran down the aisles to meet the anxious Bowies....

"Where's Aladdin and Duke?" Zane asked.

"Where's Ramona?" Nathan looked around.

"Ramona and I found them on the roof," Jareth said. "Aladdin flew off in a panic, and the Duke and Ramona gave chase. They're out to kill him."

"Why didn't you stop them?!" Byron screamed. The others hushed him.

"Hey!" the paramedic called out, "do any of you know what happened?"

The Bowies looked nervously at each other.

"Um," Yankee called, "not really. Not like we know what's going on in his head!" He chucked nervously. The others smacked Yankee in the head.

"They're not getting far," Jareth whispered, "I've put a force field around the entire island. They can't leave, but neither can we."

"What about other humans?" Ricochet asked.

"Doesn't affect humans--just us. We've no time to waste--we must split up and find Aladdin before the Duke does..."

"Wait," Zero glared at Jareth, "I don't trust you! You're working for the Duke!! We'll find him, just so you can kill him like you tried to kill me..."

"WHAT??" Byron screamed, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Byron jumped on the chairs and pounced on Jareth, sending both tumbling down the aisle. The others rushed to break it up...

"Hey!" the paramedic rushed to the melee, "What's going on?!"

"Nothing!" Earthling stopped him, "nothing. A little dispute over salary and screen-time, that's all. 'Who's got the better Bowie costume', and all that! Right..." Earthling growled at the pair, "boys?"

The two were separated and restrained. They glared at each other.

Byron to Jareth: "I'm prettier than you!"

Jareth to Byron: "Your hair looks like Jack coughed up on it!"

Jack: "Hey!"

"Do I have the call the police?" the paramedic said.

Jareth and Byron shrugged off their restrainers.

"No," they both said, without breaking their deadly gaze at each other. "We're fine."

"Good," the paramedic sighed, "I know a little about Bowie...which one of you is supposed to beZiggy Stardust?"

They all looked at each other sadly.

"How can you have a Bowie video with all his characters without Ziggy? Or the Thin White Duke?"

"Um, actually, they went outside for a smoke," Major Tom said, "WE were just about to fetch them for dinner...right, boys?"

A nervous disorganized chorus: "Right!" ""Yeah!" "Dinner!" "Tha's right.."

Major Tom, "Um, 'Jareth', why don't you stay here in case they come back? The rest of us will go look for them."

"I'll stay here, too," Major Celliers glared at Jareth.

"Me too," Halloween Jack said, glaring at the director, "I think Nigel looks traumatized."

Nigel shook.

Earthling whispered to the rest, "Look, whether or not the Goblin King is on the level, we need to find Aladdin, now! Boz, any ideas?"

Boz crouched under a seat, as not to arouse suspicion, "Negative. The database is out of order. If we were still in David's mind, I could track his bio-rhythms."

"So we go on foot," Berlin said. "How hard can it be to find a floating naked androgynous red-head genie?"

"This IS New York," Leon shrugged.

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/13/01 11:48 PM
Splitting Headache--Damage Control new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As the others went off in search for Aladdin...

"Ladies, gentlemen," Jareth addressed the confused crew. The band followed the ambulance to the hospital. "On behalf of David Bowie and his assorted personae, I deeply apologize for the inconvenience and confusion that all of this has caused. I assure you that this situation will be quickly resolved, and that no one will be permenantly harmed. As a token of our good will," a large basket filled with fresh peaches appeared in Jareth's arms, "please feel free to take a piece of fruit..."

"Hold it!" Major Celliers called out, "what's in those peaches?"

"Don't mind him, ladies and gentlemen," Jareth took Celliers aside, "Major Jaques Celliers is the suspicious sort--shell-shock from war, you see?"

Jareth whispered to the major: "Listen, little tin soldier, we don't want these people spreading the word about strange creatures popping out of Bowie's head. We are in enough trouble as it is--this could land the body in the insane asylum, or worse. I don't think humans take too kindly to supernatural phenomena--or its practioners. I've seen the Salem witch hunts, I've seen the Spanish inquisition, and I've seen the Holocaust. It's best we let these people 'forget'."

Jacques paused, "This won't hurt them, will it?"

"Of course not," Jareth said incredulously. "Now, be a good boy," he shoves the basket into Major's arms, "and distribute this peaches."

Major sighed indignantly, but saw the logic in Jareth's plan.

"Now, Nigel," Jareth walks up the stage stairs to where Halloween Jack and Grace had him tied up, "you've been a very, very bad boy," Jareth bends over Nigel's head authoritively, "what ever shall I do with you? I can't dump you in the Bog." Nigel shook in fear, whimpering behind a gag tied tightly over his mouth. "Jack?"

Celliers called, "Calm down, I'm handing out the damn peach..."

"Not you, you flower-eating faggot! I meant Halloween Jack...ow!" Jareth spat. Halloween Jack nipped at Jareth's knee, as the monach jumped back.

Halloween Jack: "Don't use the 6-letter "f" word, again. Ever. Understand?"

"Sorry," Jareth grumbled. "As I was saying, Diamond Doggie, what would do you?"

Jack smiled, "He's pretty..." Jack licked his lips, baring canine teeth, "...little sweet thing...Can I...play with him?"

Nigel screamed.

"Not yet," Jareth raised a finger. "I believe there is the little matter of some very dangerous photographs. Would you know anything about where we might find these, Nigel?" Jareth then loosened the gag.

"Bite me! I ain't telling you, you Nancy Wilson-look-a-like!"

"As you wish," Halloween Jack nipped Nigel's butt. Nigel squealed like a girl.

Out of the audience:
"Squeal like a pig, boy!"
"Drop 'em pants!"
"Get the ball gag!"
"Where's your rider crop, Jareth?"

Jareth chuckled throatly, "Oh, shameful! You're own crew..."

Nigel: "Oh, you are all soooooo fired!"

"You know, I have a gun," Celliers put down the empty basket and drew his rifle.

"No...OH NO NO NO!" Nigel trembled.

"Celliers, so crude!" Jareth shook his head. "I know how we can get our friend to talk...." For once, Celliers and Jareth shared a mutual wicked smile.

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
06/15/01 01:17 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

yum...torture....starbuck (can i marry Jack?)

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/20/01 02:19 AM
Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

3 A.M....

Zero flew over Manhattan. He assessed that Jareth's 'bubble' was about 50 feet above the island's highest point. He scanned the skies carefully for Aladdin...

Battery Park...Yankee and Ricochet searched the park, walking along the shoreline...

"Aladdin!" Ricochet called out.

"Wow..." Yankee could see the Statue of Liberty's torch from the shore.

"Yankee, pay attention! We're looking for Aladdin!" Ricochet snapped.

"Are we sure that beacon out there isn't Aladdin?" Yankee asked. He then climbed the rail and stood on top...

"Yank, get down!" Ricochet ran to grab him, but Yankee had already pitched forward as if to dive. He was bounced back by the invisible 'bubble' and was knocked back to the concrete.

"You stupid ass!" Ricochet picked Yankee up. "You could have hurt yourself....!"

"Look over there!" Yankee pointed above.

"Yes, the statue is pretty..."

"No, I saw a flash of red!" Yankee got up in the direction of Wall Street. Ricochet chased after....

Times Square....

"Christ, what happened to this place!?" Zane looked around the glittering crossroads.

"Meow, even the army recuitment office went glam," Dory pointed out. A passing car came withing inches of running over Dory's tail. Dory howled and jumped into Zane's arms.

"Careful, Dory, watch the dress!" Zane put him gently back down. "See anything?"

"No. Tommy?" Dory called to Newton.

Newton looked southward down 7th and Broadway.

"Newton?" Zane called.

Newton didn't respond.

"Newton!" Zane shouted. "Do you see Aladdin?"

Dory nipped at Newton's pant leg, but Newton stared, wide-eyed in wonder...

"Newton," Dory said. "Stop watching the Jumbotron and help us!"

Newton breathed, "This...is the most... beautiful thing I've ever seen..."

"Oh, brrrother," Dory purred. "Zane, help?"

Zane and Dory picked up Newton by the arms and feet and they continued the search....


"Ach, this is hopeless!" Berlin sighed. "This city is too big! We'll never find him!"

"We could have used Jareth as another pair of wings, or Halloween Jack to scale the rooftops," Leon thought out loud. "Hmmm?" Leon ducked into an alley and pulled down the fire escape ladder. "I'm going up."

"Good idea," Berlin followed Leon upwards. After a couple of stories, Berlin was winded.

"You alright?" Leon asked.

"Fine," Berlin puffed. "I'm not used...to such physical...exertion. Punishment..for my excesses, I suppose."

"Just take it easy, I'll wait for ya," Leon said. Once on the rooftops, Leon and Berlin got a better view.

"Hey, I think I see something over there!" Leon pointed to another building across the alley. The gap between the building was at about 10 feet.

Berlin squatted down, out of breath, "Great...After all that...we got to go...back down!"

"I can jump it."

"Are you insane!!???" Berlin shouted hoarsely. "We're 5 stories up!"

Leon found some clothesline on the roof, made a lasso, twirled it above his head, and tossed it across the gap. The loop caught on the top of the fire escape ladder on the other building.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Berlin was amazed.

"I've scaled plenty of buildings to duck the cops. All because I'm trying to do my art, you know? I mean tagging ain't armed robbery..." Leon grabbed Berlin's arm, "Let's go."

"Oh, no!" Berlin shook his head. "This is dangerous! This is insane."

Leon smiled devilishly, "Of course it is, mate. We're Bowies. No grab on." Leon stood on the edge, as Berlin wrapped his arms securely around his shoulders from behind. Berlin shut his eyes tightly, as they swung across the gap.


"Damn, Berlin, don't scream!"

No more than ten seconds later, Leon had dropped Berlin on the rooftop of the other building.

"Ha!" Leon said, proudly, "Tell Jimmy you swung across an alley like Tarzan on the shoulders of a crazy mutha-f**kin' mulatto!"

Berlin opened one eye, "Crazy mother-f**kin'....What's that?" He saw what looked like red hair behind a chicken coup. Leon and Berlin ran, "Aladdin!"

No Aladdin. A scarecrow with a red wig.

"I...am going to kill you, Leon, if it wouldn't be called a bias crime," Berlin fainted.

Fifth Avenue..."We're supposed to be looking for Aladdin!" Nana shouted.

Liza, Veronica, and Screamin' Lord Byron were mesmerized by the windows of Versace.

"We ARE looking!" Liza pouted. "Aladdin is one of most glamourous among us. Why wouldn't he do a little window shopping?"

"But the stores aren't even open yet!" Nana reasoned.

"Oh, I see it!" Veronica gasped.

"Aladdin?" Nana asked.

"No, that turquoise python-skin strapless I'd been telling you all about." Liza and Byron "ooh"ed and "aah"ed.

"There you are!" Algeria Touchshriek tapped on Nana's shoulder. "I've been looking for you girls."

Nana stared coldly, "I'm sure you were. Don't make me use my cane."

"Now, now, my dear," Touchshriek smiled a near-toothless smile, "we haven't had dinner first."

"Have you seen Aladdin?" Nana asked.

"No," Mr. Touchshriek said, "but...um...I was thinking..."

"What?" Nana snapped curtly.

"Perhaps...you and I...take a walk about the park..."

"This is no time for a date, Algeria! No go away and don't bother us again!"

Touchshriek sighed sadly, and looked downward, "Oh...fine. It's alright, I suppose." He started walking northward, then stopped, "In my time, a gentlemen did not allow a lady to go unescorted."

"What am I, you little toad?" Byron turned his nose up at Algeria.

Touchshriek frowned, "I said a gentleman."

"You old fart!" Byron screamed...

"Leave him alone, Byron," Liza grabbed him by the arm. "Let's go down to Saks." Liza dragged the indignant Byron away, as Veronica and Nana followed. Touchshriek slowly hobbled down the opposite direction. Nana looked over her shoulder, frowned, and said, "Girls, I'll meet you when we find Aladdin."

To the girls and Byron's suprise, Nana quickly hobbled to Touchshriek. To Algeria's amazement, Nana took him by the hand, and the two slowly made their way to Central Park. "Now just remember, no hanky-panky," Nana shook her cane.

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 06/20/01 02:47 AM (server time).

(electric tomato)
06/21/01 01:20 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

just love this story...really, please submit it to like sundance, make a movie of this rockin rollin bitch!!!! starbuck

I'll be a rockin' rollin' bitch for you

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/22/01 01:46 AM
Splitting Headache--Zeroed In new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Thanks to Boz, everyone was outfitted with a hand-held communication device that fit on a knife holster.

Leon's communicator rings, to the tune of "I Have Not Been To Oxford Town."


"This is Ricochet...Aladdin's been spotting heading north..."

"Right, I'll keep a heads up."

Above Manhattan...The sun is rising, adding to Zero's golden glimmer. Zero is dazzled by the glow. But it's a even brighter glimmer that literally knocks him for a loop, as a flash of red fire passes directly beneath him.

Recovering quickly, Zero flips and chases the flash....

"Aladdin, STOP!" Zero zooms after the confused genie, wings splayed back to allow maximum speed. As fast as his gold wings were, Aladdin, with his boneless grace, seemed just as fast. Darting in between skyscrapers, around hairpin turns, ducking overpasses, and barely scraping the tops of trees and lamp-posts, the two whiz around Manhattan in a dizzying dance...

Soho...Berlin looks up, "I see something red and gold..."

Leon: "He's comin' this way!"

Berlin: "Leon, where's the rope?" Leon takes the clothesline and makes another loop.

Leon: "I gotta catch this exactly..."

Zero slowly closed in, within 2 feet of Aladdin, and almost in reach of his feet. As Aladdin and Zero were about to pass over them...

Berlin: "Schnell!"

Leon swung the rope, as it caught Aladdin's ankles. Leon and Berlin wound the rops tightly around their hands, thinking that they are twice Aladdin's size, and they should stop Aladdin cold.

To their surprise, little Aladdin is stronger than he looks. They realized this as their feet lifted off the roof and they swung over Manhattan!

Berlin screwed his eyes shut: "AAAAAAAAACCCHHHH! I HATE FLYING!!!"

Even more aggravated than before, Aladdin's erratic flight nearly smacked the two into various buildings. Leon and Berlin lifted their legs in an L-position to, at points, walk along walls to avoid collision. Aladdin went into a dive, onto early-morning traffic!

Leon: "Berlin, damn it, open your eyes or be roadkill!"

The two were bounced on the roofs of cars, to the shock and anger of drivers. A few fingers directed at them was the least of their worries.

Zero managed to grab the end of the rope, but even with a third man, it did nothing to slow Aladdin Sane.

With Zero as an anchor, Leon climbed up the rope, mid-flight, and grabbed onto Aladdin's legs. He slowly climbed onto Aladdin's body until his legs were latched around his slender waist.

"Sorry mate, nothing personal," Leon threw a hand over Aladdin's eyes. Leon then tilted Aladdin's head back, sending them back skyward. He attempted to steer the genie to a safe location. Aladdin screamed in protest, flaying his arms, and trying to pry his face free.

With a free hand, Leon took a small hypodermic needle, and jabbed it into Aladdin's shoulder. Aladdin screamed again as Leon injected the substance. The genie became very drowsy...

Central Park...."Isn't the park loverly?" Mr Touchshriek sighed, as he and Nana sat on a bench by the pond. The area was open, so they can look for their wayward comrade.

Nana said, "Mmm...I used to love going to the park as a girl...Central Park is nice this time of year..."

Touchshriek: "Not so much anymore, now with the 'porto-ricans' and all taking their clothes off..."

Nana: "Mr. Touchshriek, for shame!"

Touchshriek: "Oh, I don't mean all 'porto-ricans.' I mean that Carlos Alomar, 'e's one o' the good ones..."


"Good lord, what was that???" Nana bolted off the bench, with her cane. "Algeria, let's get a boat!"

"Oh, what a loverly idea, my dear! I haven't been boating since 19...."

"No, you ass! I think we need to rescue Aladdin!"

Leon emerged from the water, bobbing, "Aladdin? Berlin? Zero?" BErlin came back up a second later, sputtering out water. Zero's wings somehow kept him afloat, except he was face down. Leon and Berlin flipped him over.

"Where's Aladdin?" Berlin looked around. Leon dived back down, and pulled up a passed out Aladdin.

Nana reached into her purse and called on the communicator, "Hallo, hallo! This is Nana! Aladdin's at the pond in Central Park!'

Major Tom and Pierrot came running within minutes. Major Tom panted, "We were at Strawberry Fields--Pierrot just had to pay respects." Pierrot looked down mournfully.

"Quick, get a boat!" Nana shouted. As Major Tom ran to the boathouse, Pierrot took a step onto the pond. To Nana's and Algeria's surprise, he began to walk on the surface as if it were glass! Pierrot skipped acoss the pond's surface to the nearly-drowned four. Once there, he stooped down, and picked Aladdin up into his arms.

"How does he do it?" Berlin looked in wonder. Leon and Berlin grabbed a wing and began to slowly paddle Zero to shore. Major Tom met them half-way and scooped them up in the boat....
Somewhere else in Manhattan, in a dark space...

The Duke lightly rubs his jaw with the pads of his fingers, as he watches the scene from a mystic circle, "Hmmm...six ducks in the water. How easy would it be for me to send a bolt and electrocute them all?"

Ramona, lounging on Duke's lap, gazes darkly at the circle, her eyes focused upon Leon. "You'd be done with Aladdin, the winged blunder, the snooping astronaut, the mime, the German hangover and..."

"As tempting as Jareth's plan is to enslave Aladdin, I simply cannot let him live," the Duke pointed a finger upward, as a bolt flew skyward towards the pond. But instead of hitting the pond, the bolt disipitated into the bubble.

"WHAT?!" The Duke sat up, almost knocking off Ramona.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..."


To be continued....

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/27/01 02:37 AM
Splitting Headache--Morning Becomes Aladdin new [re: Kristin Machina]  

6:30 AM...

The Bowies began to convene onto Central Park.

Nana and Algeria sat on the bench by the lake. Aladdin lay sleeping across their laps, his head resting in Nana's hands. Leon and Berlin sat in the grass--Berlin shook as his leather jacket lie next to him drying. Zero flapped his wings dry. Pierrot swam in the lake, as Major Tom sat on a rock across from the bench.

Ricochet and Yankee arrived. Ricochet looked at Aladdin in alarm, "Good lord, is he alright?"

"Sleeping like a baby," Nana said, smoothing out the spiky red locks.

Zane, Dory and Newton arrived only seconds later. Dory said, "Meow! We saw something whirrrrl over our heads! Was that Zero?"

"The little firecracker gave me a run," Zero straightened his wings and folded them neatly across his back. "Took Leon and Berlin with him."

"It was terrible..." Berlin mumbled.

"It was the SHIT, man!" Leon shouted. "I mean you got suburban white trash yuppies payin' mad chedder to go on a ride like that! When we almost crashed into a wall..."

*Fwhack!* Berlin wacked Leon on top of his head with his damp jacket, "Will you shut up! You almost got me killed! I don't EVER want to do that again!"

Detective Prof. Adler, Tin, Monte and Earthlng came at that moment, carrying several trays of....

"Sniff, sniff...coffee?" Dory pounced in their direction.

"Whoa, down boy!" Nathan lifted his cardboard tray defensively. "It's been a long night. Thought we'd treat."

"We?" Earthling cocked an eyebrow.

"Right, I thought of it, you paid for it, so that makes it equal."

"Damn, Laddie looks like shite, what did ya do to him," Tin ran a hand through his beard.

Berlin: "Leon stuck him."

Leon: "Had some horse tranquilizers in my pocket."

Nathan: "Leon.."

Leon: "What? Mr. Touchshriek sold them to me."

Mr. Touchshriek looked him innocently.

Leon: "Besides, Aladdin was too whacked out."

Tin, "Oh for Christ sake!" Liza, Veronica and Byron came carrying at least 3 shopping bags each.

Earthling scowled, hands akimbo: "We're all out on a desperate search for a lost friend and YOU lot go shopping!?"

Liza: "Not true! We searched the Fashion District."

Byron: "Being the always fashionable offspring of Ziggy, we'd concluded that he'd naturally gravitate there. Plus, we found a few bargains."

Veronica lifted a paper bag, "But we did bring sandwiches."

Liza: "And doughnuts."

Byron: "Just to be nice. And just because we're watching our figures doesn't mean you are."

Earthing muttered between his teeth: "Gee, thanks mate."

Once coffee, doughnuts and sandwiches were passed around...

Zane: "Where's the goblin and the soldier?"

Dory: "And Jack?"

Earthling punched into his communicator, "Boz, are Jareth and the two Jacks coming?"

Boz materialized: "Affirmative. First-His-Majesty-stated-he-needed-to-take-care-of-'business.'"

Major Tom, mouth full of cruller, "Nigel McCrap?"

Boz: "I-suppose-so."
Not far away, Nigel's Central Park West apartment...

Major Celliers rifled though tons of boxes and notebooks, looking for the tell-tale photographs, with no luck. Frustrated, he angrily knocks over a stack of boxes and calls on his communicator.

"This is assinine! The place is an utterly disorganized mess!"

Back at the theatre...

Jareth lounged in a throne he made with magic out of the director's chair. He swung a riding crop and sang mockingly, "Oh, Ni-gel!"

Nigel was wearing nothing but a dog collar and a pair of nappies. He squat on the stage on hands and knees. Halloween Jack held him by a leash. Nigel stammered, "Y-yes, your highness?"

"Major Celliers cannot find your daddy's pictures? Where are they?"

"I told you...they're somewhere in the apartment, you sadistic..."

Jareth whipped him across the behind with the crop. Nigel yelped. Jareth bent over his head, menacingly, "You know, if this is some wild goose chase you've sent us on, you will be VERY sorry!"

Halloween Jack growled through clenched teeth, "Yeah, REALLY sorry!"

"Oh...oh yeah?" Nigel was sweating profusely, "What can you do to me? Whip me? I pay for this kind of action once a weekend! Although you're much uglier than most of the..."

Jareth sighed in exasperation: "Are most mortals as stupid as you? Gracie, dearie?" He called sweetly to his assistant, who was seated by a camera. She was recording the whole thing. The crew had already been sent home, and, by Jareth's spell, won't remember past Bowie's faint.

Grace Blue: "Yes, master?"

Jareth clapped his hands in excitement and smiled broadly, "How about we play 'cirque de soleil?'"

Nigel: "What's that?"

Jareth: "Circus, you ignorant twit. Except it would be positively CRUEL to use animals," glances at Jack, "so this troupe uses HUMANS only." He smiles cruelly, as he takes a crystal, tosses a few feet, and it turns into a flaming hoop.

Grace: "Oh, I LOVE this trick."

Nigel shakes violently, "No no no no no no no no no no no no no no! Oh no...."

Jareth: "Where's the photographs?"

Nigel: "Forget it! I ain't..."

Jareth sighed: "Jack?"

Halloween Jack snapped at Nigel with his razor-sharp jaws, slowly pushing him toward the hoop. Nigel tried to run, but Jack held onto the leash too tightly.

Jareth: "The photographs, Nigel?"


Jareth shook his head, clicking his tongue, "No one's here to help you, Nigel."

Nigel gulped hard. Beaten, humiliated, he broke down in tears...
Bellevue Hospital...

Iman sat at David's bedside all night, silently praying for him to wake up. She could not stop weeping. Don't leave me, please, she silently begged, I can't raise Alex alone.

Then, a knock on the door. Duncan came running in.

"Duncan!" Iman jumped up, as Duncan embraced her. His eyes didn't come off his father.

"I got the nearest flight from London," Duncan panted. "What happened? Has the doctors found anything?"

"They took CAT scans. They're ruling out a stroke," Iman wept.

"It's not f**kin' fair!" Duncan spat, then retracted, "Excuse the language."

"Oh," Iman tried to smile through her tears, "I've wanted to curse at someone all night...your father...that director..."

"I ran into the band downstairs. I sent them home, told them I'd call if I knew anything. Where's Alex?"

"With our neighbor," Iman said. "It was an emergency, and I had no one else to..." she then broke into heavy sobbing again.

Duncan hugged her tight, "It's gonna be OK. Dad's stronger than he looks. He's been through worse..."
Somewhere...The Thin White Duke's Hideout...

The Duke gazed into his magic mirror, "Ah, I love it. A family in chaos. The drama. The angst."

Ramona sat on his lap, "This is bullshit, can't we go kill Aladdin now?"

Duke, "Now, now, sweet. I have everything right where I want them. Now, the real game begins."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
06/27/01 03:54 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Zeroed In new [re: Kristin Machina]  

In reply to:


Somehow that strikes me as totally hilarious.

Can't wait for the next chapter....
I can so easily imagine all the Bowies wandering around New York - he he, I wish that was really happening!

~Den tunne vite greven sjunger om gyllene år~

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
06/27/01 03:41 PM
A Note to My Readers new [re: SugarPlumFairy]  

I'd like to thank you for your comments--it's wonderful that people appreciate my story.

Quick announcement: I'm currently moving out of my apartment and going on a 1-week trip to Texas. The next chapter after "Morning Becomes Aladdin" will be no sooner than July 8th. (If I can steal some time on my brother's computer.) Until then, stay tuned!

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
08/05/01 01:12 AM
hello? new [re: Kristin Machina]  

ok...its aug 5 now....like a month after when yo usaid you would work on the story!!! so whats up? i hope everything is ok with you, and that your move went smoothly. please at least let us know whats going on with you, and then you can post more....sigh, im just dying to read more (if only i could be The Duke's bitch...drool). ciao, starbuck

"and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,but you're not gonna stop me from having fun." ani difranco

Echoes Of A Fairy
(cracked actor)
08/06/01 09:41 AM
Re: hello? new [re: Starbuck]  

Yesss, indeed, where is Kristin? I want to see what happens next! I was going to bring this thread up, myself, but I sort of forgot what with going away and everything, so I'm glad you did, Starbuck.

~I was an Artiste~

(crash course raver)
08/06/01 03:06 PM
Re: hello? new [re: Echoes Of A Fairy]  

yes, i need my fan fic!!!! not only is she MIA, but coan teen has decided to ignore her fic as well. what is it with this horrible case of writers block? starbuck

"and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,but you're not gonna stop me from having fun." ani difranco

(crash course raver)
08/06/01 07:00 PM
Re: hello? new [re: Starbuck]  

Wow - I only just read this fan-fic now, and it's great! Although I think there might be more than one reason why it's called "Splitting Headache". I mean all those different personaes! They almost gave me a headache trying to keep them a part in my head. Auuwie

This monster beauty is not eternal. - Apollinaire

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
08/06/01 07:06 PM
MY MY! new [re: decibel]  

I'm so sorry everyone....

You see, after my move and vacation to Texas, my life had been devoted to studying for this brutally hard exam called the NCLEX--the state license exam for nurses. I spent weeks on end reviewing everything I was supposed to know from the past 6 years of college! So now my test is over, and I am IMMEDIATELY going to continue the story.

Uh, just give my an hour or so...

Be right back, lieblings!

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
08/06/01 09:04 PM
Re: MY MY! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

just good to hear that you are alive and well. so, how did the test go? we need to know if we should call you kristinmachina RN!!! glad to have you back, NOW GET TO WORK...hehe starbuck

"and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,but you're not gonna stop me from having fun." ani difranco

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
08/09/01 04:29 PM
Splitting Headache--Wake Up, You Sleepy Head... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

At a hospital on the East Side...




David opened his eyes and blinked several times, letting his eyes focus to the early morning light, "Wh...wha' 'appened?"

Before he could get an answer, his wife threw her arms around him, sobbing, "Oh my GOD, I thought I was going to lose you!" Then she grabbed him by the neck screaming, "DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

"Iman! Calm down!" Duncan firmly put his hands on her shoulders.

Iman wiped the tears from her eyes, and sniffed, "I am sorry...How do you feel, darling?"

"My headache's gone. Did I finish the shoot?"

Iman shook her head, "No, darling, Earl said you fainted on stage. You're in a hospital, in the ICU. The doctor ran some tests to check if you had a stroke."

"Dad, you really need to quit the cigarettes," Duncan said.

"I did quit the cigarettes," David retorted indignantly. "That's how I wound up in this mess."

"Well," Iman said, "I don't care if the record company wants a video, you're not working until you get some rest."

On the room television, "...this is News Channel 4, Today in New York...reviewing our top stories...a rock icon is rushed to a nearby hospital...strange sightings of flying UFO's over Manhattan, one described as a 'gold angel' and a naked man with red hair with two others swinging on a rope..."

In the woods of Central Park...

Newton watched the news from the hot dog vender's portable TV, "Hey, Leon, Berlin, Zero...that's you, mates!"

The vender said, "Hey, buddy, ya wanna buy a hot dog or what?"

"Oh no, thank you. Halloween Jack wouldn't like it if I was eating dog."

The vendor glared at him, "Are you a kook or somethin'?"

"No, no, Dory's the kook," he points downward.

"Sorry, surrr," Dory purrs, "He's not frrrom arrround here-urr. Newton," Dory tugs on Newton's pantleg, "Come back over here-urr and don't bothurrr the nice gentleman."

"Hey!" Newton sees the vendor screaming and running away with the cart, "Come back with the TV! Ow...! Dory, don't bite! I'm coming...."

Dory pushes Newton back into the deep woods of Central Park, where the others congregated. Liza, Veronica and Byron were sitting in a line, styling each other's hair. Zero polished his wings. Nathan wrote in his pocket journal. Earthling, Monte, Ricochet, Yankee and Zane played cards. Leon and Berlin were napping at opposite sides of a tree. Pierrot swung on the tree branches like a monkee. Major Tom was analyzing the air quality. Algeria and Nana had tea...

Aladdin was tied to a tree, still unconscious, for his own protection.

"Heh heh," Tin looked up and chuckled, "big man like that scared off by a little pussy like you."

"I didn't scare him and don't call me a pussy!" Newton sulked.

Tin: "No, I meant...sigh...never mind..."

Screaming Lord Byron mutters to the girls, "It's true. TV does rot the brain." The girls chuckled.

"Here, Newton!" Earthling called, "I got Boz to hook up to satellite TV." Boz now had a screen in his belly and little satellite dishes for ears. Boz's lips moved in sync with the sound, "...rock legend David Bowie collapsed on the set of his latest video in Greenwich Village last night. Bowie, 54, was rushed to a nearby hospital, after experiencing some severe headaches. Oddly, any crew member we tried to contact said they 'don't remember!'"

Crew member on TV: "Look, it was a long shoot...no breaks...it was all pretty traumatic...honestly, it's all a blur after he fainted..."

Reporter: "Family and bandmates are at the hospital right now. However, the video's director, Nigel McCool, is nowhere to be found..."

"Does that mean Jareth and the others left the theatre?" Zane asked.

Walking through Central Park, the remaining Bowies chose to keep a low profile. Jareth provided Baby Grace with an ankle-length, high-collared, full-sleeved rose-patterned grey gown. She also had long gloves to conceal the stitches. Her hair was tied back with a bow. The Goblin King, himself, wore a black trenchcoat, black pants, and a wide-brimmed black hat, with only two curls of white-blond hair showing. Grace held Halloween Jack--who had fully transformed into a large dog--by a leash. Passers-by might mistake them for an Hasidic-Jewish father and daughter, walking their dog. Major Celliers walked a few feet behind them, still in fatigues, holding a briefcase in one hand. Jareth 'insisted' that Celliers hide his gun into one of his magic crystals, since carrying a concealed weapon was a crime here.

"Still don't trust me, Major?" Jareth peeked over his shoulder.

"Not as far as I can toss you," Celliers answered.

"Don't worry," the King clicked his tongue, "I won't use your own gun against you. Besides, if I wanted to kill you, I would have already."

They walk in silence.

Jareth spoke again, without turning his head, "Major, do you still think what we did to the director was...unethical?"

"'Unethical' is not the word I would use, Your Evilness," Celliers said, with a tinge of sarcasm.

"Tut, tut!" Jareth stopped, as did Grace and Halloween Jack after, "I am only as every bit as evil as you."

"Me!?" Celliers said. "You kidnap babies, hold them for ransom, turn them into goblins, abuse your subjects--physically and emotionally--and furthermore, you mentally tortured, threatened to kill, and attempted to seduce a minor!" Celliers glances at Grace, but she looks downward.

"Major, for shame! In my country, 13 is the legal age of courtship. But you are more evil than I..."

"Why?" Celliers was fuming.

Grace: "Because Major is a lawyer."

Jareth chuckled, "Out of the mouths of babes....funny, Gracie, no. That's not why.."

"If it's about the kiss--I kissed that Jap on the CHEEK! It meant nothing! He was going to kill an innocent man..."

"I care little about your silly human hang-ups about same-sex affections..."

"So what?? So I set my kid brother up on a prank? He didn't get seriously hurt! Not really..."

"But he was hurt. Wasn't he, Major?"

"Well," Major cooled off a bit, "he never sang again...."

"And why didn't big brother," Jareth pouted, "come and save him? You did before. What happened? Tired of playing hero?"

"N..no..." Celliers stammered.

"Or did you secretly want to teach the little canary a lesson--trust no one. Lovely lesson, I say."

"But I'm NOT evil!" Celliers screamed.

"Ah, but you are," Jareth rocked on his heels, "in your own defense, Mr. Attorney, you've also provided your own prosicution. You deliberately nominated your own brother for hazing, abandon him, then out of some contrived guilt or shame, you join to army to become the 'hero' you failed to be. What happened instead is you became more cold-blooded AND blood-thirsty...."

"Shut up..." Celliers growls.

"THEN, to compensate for the fact that you have no honor, you rob another man of his AND toy with his affections at the same time! And you still come off as the big hero. Bravo!" he clapped. "So you see, you...are...evil."

Celliers swung his fist hard at the Goblin King's jaw, knocking him onto the pavement. Halloween Jack lunged at the enraged soldier, but Celliers kicked him away.

Celliers stood over the sore but smirking goblin monach, "You SON OF A BITCH! Humans are just toys to you, aren't they!!!??? Push a button and watch them go off..."

Jareth got up, his face went from smug to deadly serious, "Well, Major Jacques Celliers, if you don't want to play with me, I'll just take my ball and go home..." With a wave, Grace vanished into a ball of light and Jareth into an owl. They two flew off somewhere.

Cellier's face was beet-red and he was breathing hard. He wanted to cry....

"Sorry I jumped you," Halloween Jack said, recovering. "I just tried to stop you two from killing each other..."

"He's got my gun." Celliers wipes his brow. "What about you, doggy? Which side are you on?"

Jack said, simply, "Nobody's. Can I see the dirty pictures now?"
Jareth and Grace appeared at the Duke's hideout. The King reappeared in a black leather body-suit, black high-boots, black gloves, and a black split cape around his shoulders and neck. It gave him the appearance of an insect--a beetle--with his hair more formed into quills.

"Good news," the Duke greeted him, "the body is awake."

Ramona approached Grace, "Hello, pretty one..." Grace ducked behind Jareth as he raised an arm in defense of her.

"Get your own toys, crone," Jareth said. Ramoma hissed.

"Enough!" The Duke snapped. "With all the pawns in place, let's let the body rest. When the time comes, I will begin the game..."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
08/16/01 01:50 AM
Splitting Headache--David Who? new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"What game are we playing, Master?" Grace asked Jareth, as they stood in the presence of the Duke, "Is in on the Playstation?"

"Silence!" the Duke bellowed, "Jareth! How dare you bring an Outsider here!"

Jareth said, "Baby Grace Blue is my servant and anything said here will be kept in strictest confidentiality. Correct, Grace?"

"Yes, Master," she answers firmly.

"Yes, of course," the Duke coughs in his throat. "I'm sure she...serves you quite well. Am I right, my dark angel? Ramona?"

Ramona stood still as a pillar, green face turned five shades paler, in utter amazement of a living dead girl.

"Ramona A. Stone! Answer when I speak to you!" the Duke snapped.

Ramona screamed at Jareth, "You...idiot!!! You've ruined the greatest piece of modern art of the 20th century! Utterly ruined!!!"

Grace cowered behind the Goblin King, as he wrapped his cape protectively around her. Jareth smirked, "You think rather highly of yourself as an artist, don't you, Ms. Stone?"

"The nerve of you!" Ramona paled again, "Are you accusing me of..."

"ENOUGH!!!" Bright flashes of lightning and thunder shook the room like an earthquake. "Jareth, go back to the others in Central Park and watch them. Particularly Aladdin--don't let him out of your sight."

"I can't stand them," Jareth sneered, "particularly that sexually-confused soldier and that ex-con...I can just as easily watch them through my crystals," Jareth formed an orb. With a small bolt, the Duke shattered the orb, sending shards flying at the goblin's face. Jareth flinched as he felt some of the pieces cut him.

"Perhaps I haven't been clear," the Duke said cooly, as Jareth wipes some blue opalescent blood from his face, "we cannot go back to David's mind unless all personas are together and in agreement. If even one of us refuses to return, no one goes home. I need you to keep the others in order and away from David while I negotiate our homecoming."

"But David doesn't know we exist," Jareth asked, "how do we know he even misses us?"

"Trust me," the corner of Duke's mouth lifted a bit, "he'll know."
"THESE are the pictures?" Nathan shrugged. "I've seen eigth-grade anatomy books more erotic."

Liza: "I think they're lovely. I mean, they're nicer than Playboy."

Berlin: "German porno's better."

"It's not porno," Earthling said, "These are art studies. They're meant to make an important statement."

"And that statement would be?" Halloween Jack asked.

"Um?" Earthling scratched his beard, "Ricochet?"

Ricochet: "Don't ask me. Yankee?"

Yankee: "Wot?"

Ricochet: "Zane?"

Zane: "Mmm...uh...fur is murder?"

Leon: "So much for 'important statement.'"

"Hey!!" a police officer calls to the Bowies, "what's going on out there?"

The Bowies quickly hide the photos in Major Cellier's case. Monte approaches the officer, "Oh, we're just enjoying a day at the park."

"Are you all together? Because you should have a permit for groups larger than 20...Is that..a lion?" The officer points to Dory.

"No, no, no!" Zane jumps in, chuckling, "that's just a costume. Honest. We're actors."

Earthing (to himself): "And he said it with a straight face, too." Then he says out loud: "Officer, we're having a vigil. David Bowie is sick, and..."

Zane finishes, "We're dressed like this in honor of him, in hopes for a speedy recovery."

Officer, "Oh. David Bowie. He's still around? Anyway, I can't have you people all together like this. I need to have you..."

Nana creeps forward, "Excuse me, Officer, but we bought several dozen doughnuts this morning. Would you care to have one?" She smiled so warmly.

"Oh, wow!" the officer smiles and takes a glazed, "well, OK. You folks seem harmless. Wierd...but harmless. I'll say you're two groups of ten or so and be on my way. Oh, and keep those two dogs on a leash, please?" And he was on his way.

Dory sniffed: "Hiss...He called me a dog! A filthy, stinkin' dog! The nerrrve! The gaul...!"

Halloween Jack growled: "What was that, pussy?"

Dory: "Uh...nothing..." Jack barked, and another dog-and-cat chase commenced around the lake.
"Well, Mr. Jones," the doctor says, "The tests can't find any reason for your collapse. No stroke, no illness. I think you were just having a bad case of withdrawal."

"That's it?" Iman was puzzled. "Isn't there anything to be done?"

"No, ma'am, your husband is perfectly healthy. I commend him for quitting his habit. There's nothing medically that needs to be done. Still, we could have David stay here for another day, just for observation, in case anything else occurs."

David, Iman and Duncan thank the doctor as he exits the room. David said, "Iman, darling, you look exhausted. Why doesn't Duncan take you home--I'm going to take a nap for a few hours."

Iman: "I can't..."

David kissed her on the cheek: "It will be OK. Tell Alex 'Daddy's OK' for me."

Iman kissed him: "Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Glad you're still here, Dad," Duncan hugs his father as he walks Iman home. Left to himself for the moment, David reclines and closes his eyes for a nap...

A few minutes later, a nurse's aide comes to take David's vital signs. The aide, a young woman greets him saying, "Good morning, Mr. Bowie! It's an honor to meet you."

David has a puzzled look on his face, "Oh, my dear, you must have the wrong room. Who's Mr. Bowie?"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 08/17/01 06:19 PM (server time).

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
08/30/01 00:47 AM
Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"David Bowie?" the nurse's aide asked, a bit confused, "Aren't you the famous musician?"

David rubbed his temples, "That name...it sounds familiar...but I can't remember writing any songs....I'm very sorry but..."

The aide took his pressure thinking, "Poor man, he must have some amnesia" "It's alright, Mr. Jones. I'm sorry if I upset you."

"Oh, no, young lady!" David smiled, "I had a nasty fainting spell and it's probably some temporary side effect." I hope, he thinks.

After confirming his vitals signs were all normal, she excused herself and went on to the next patient. David sat alone in his room, now worrying. I know I'm famous for something, but what?, he asks himself, I don't remember performing...or writing a song...in fact, I can't remember any artistic output since...I was 19! David rest his head on his knees. He switched on the TV...

TV Reporter: Reviewing our top story: Rock icon David Bowie was rushed to Bellevue Hospital after falling unconscious at a music video shoot...

"Music video?"
David thinks, "I think I've done a few...but I don't remember...I remember complaining about doing them..."

Reporter: " Bowie, known for portraying such colorful characters on stage as Ziggy Stardust and the Thin White Duke..."

"Ziggy? Who's Ziggy? When was I ever Ziggy? When was I the Duke?"
David screamed in his head. The next voice he heard was his own...or was it?

"How dare you forget me!!" The room darkened, and the Duke appeared at the foot of the bed. "I can forgive you for forgetting such a laughable creature as Z...Zi..." The Duke looked as if he'd gag on the name...

"Ziggy." Ramona appeared, closing the room door behind her.

Duke sneered, "What did I say about saying that name in my presence?"

"So spank me."

Another voice, like Bowie's: "Is that a request, Ramona?"

"Who the devil are you?" David shouted.

"Quite right, old bean," Jareth sat in the window sill, legs stretched across. Baby Grace stood silently by his side. "Who the devil."

"Can't you remember me," The Duke slightly over David, staring him in the eyes, "I am your greatest creation. I am the Thin White Duke."

David arched an eyebrow: "Who?"

The Duke was aghast: "Wh..what??"

"Hey, I asked you!"

"How dare you...!"

"Ah, ah ah!" Jareth shook a finger, "Temper, temper, Duke. He cannot remember you because you are the embodiment of his memories of the Duke--both personality-wise and artistically. Without you, that part of his memory is missing."

"And you are?" David asked, annoyed.

"King Jareth of the Goblin Kingdom, Grand Wizard of the Underground," the goblin king bows courtly, "You made a movie..."

Ramona: "...and let's never speak of it again." Jareth glared at her. Ramona tossed her head, "I am Ramona A. Stone, a representative of your other masterpiece, Outside."

"Me too! I'm Grace!"

"Quiet, whelp!" Ramona snapped.

Jareth: "Stop yelling at my servants. Only I'm allowed to do that."

"Wrong, hairbrain, she was mine first!" Ramona spat.

"You lost her, I found her."

"That's not fair!"

"Oh, how many times I've heard that..."

"SHUT UP!!" the Duke zapped the squabbling pair, sending them to opposite ends of the room.

David couldn't believe what he saw. He grabbed his call bell, frantically paging a nurse.

"No one is coming, David." the Duke cooly said.

"Nurse!! Security!!" David yelled, "Help me!!!" He grabbed the phone, but there was no dial tone.

"Ramona, dearest, open the door," the Duke commanded. Ramona obeyed. Outside, the whole floor--doctors, nurses, patients, visitors--stood still as statues. It was eerily quiet.

"It would be best if we could...talk uninterrupted," the Duke said.

David shook his head with his heads, "I'm going mad...Fifty-four years later, I'm going stark raving mad! I'm going to die in this hospital!"

"You're not going mad," the Duke perched on the edge of the bed, like a raven staring down its prey, "Whether you would like to believe it or not, this is very real. Tell me, David Bowie, do you remember anything of your life in the past..oh..35 years?"

David thought out loud, "I remember..Hermione...taking her to '2001'...I remember Dad dying when I was away, somewhere...I remember...Angie...and Zowie...Ronno...Coco...Jimmy and my little hideaway in Berlin..."

The Duke, impatiently, "Yes, yes, but what about performing? Being on stage...putting on your eyeliner...singing...composing...creating?"

David sat in silence for almost a minute. "No. Nothing."

Jareth asked, "What about being in front of a camera?"


Jareth formed an orb, that formed again into a pack of Gitanes. He tossed it to the Duke, who caught it and asked, "What about these?"

David looked at the box, "Haven't smoked them in years...wait, I was giving up smoking..."

"And that's how you wound up here!" the Duke extends his arms outward, "When you created me, you smoke ten packs of these!" he giggled the box. "Now that you have cut down to almost nothing you..."

"Did a duet with Puff Daddy," Ramona sneered.

"Made a radio station for babies," Jareth smirked.

"Recycled your old 60's songs," Grace added, with none of the malice of the older three.

"All of which are in the toilet of your creative arsenal!" The Duke exclaimed. "You see, your body was not meant to go without cigarettes. Your vast creative powers were not meant to go without, either. It is up to you to restore the balance, restore your creativity, and resume the smoking."

David glared at the Duke with a you-have-got-to-be-kidding look, "You're full of crap."

The Duke sighed: "Fine," he dismounted the bed, "Be stubborn. It is, after all, one of your best qualities." He then slid to David's side, staring into his eyes, almost nose to nose. "But I am the one who is preventing you from recovering your memories. You'll never remember any of your songs ever again. You can listen to your albums an infinite number of times and never remember a note. Thus, you'll never sing them again. You may never write or sing any other song, ever."

"Bullshit, watch!" David took a deep breath, prepared to give the mightest note he's ever sang. He let out...nothing. Just a dull wheeze. Stunned, David tried again. Nothing.

The Duke laughed his humorless laugh, the others laughed as well, taunting him.

The Duke clicked his tongue, "David...poor David. What EVER will you do without that wonderful voice of ours?" David gulped hard. Duke continued, "Now, I know what you're probably thinking:" in a taunting voice, " 'I don't ever have to sing again. I'm rich. I have so many other talents.' But you know, don't you? John knew. Peggy knew. Even your...wife," the Duke chokes again, "knows. You are a performer. If you can't perform, you are as good as dead." David holds his face in his hands.

"Return to the cigarettes, David Bowie," the Duke leaves the Gitanes at the bedside, "I left you some--they're the only decent thing you've ever had between your lips. Return to them, and all will be restored."

David looks up, and the group are already gone. Outside is the usually noise of beeping machines and staff chatter. A nurse opens the door, "Mr. Jones, are you alright?"

David stares into blank space, "Not exactly. I feel I've got a lot on my mind..."

To be continued

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
08/30/01 02:29 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow, I love this story. Take the cigs David, please!
Write more soon!

sailing down the river alone

(crash course raver)
08/31/01 01:42 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal new [re: Kristin Machina]  

BRAVO!!!! starbuck (nuff said...but i still dont want him to smoke)

"Once made equal to man, woman becomes superior." --Socrates c. 469-399 B.C.

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/14/01 08:27 PM
Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Note from the author: This story will continue to take place in a pre-attack New York City. As far as this story is concerned, it has not happened. I dedicate this next installment to everyone in my hometown
Central Park....

"What are we doin'?" Tin asked.

"Five card stud, joker's wild. Pay attention," Zane answered.

"No, I mean what are we doin' sittin' on our arses when our body's in a coma somewhere?" Tin said. "The T.V says he's in Bellevue so let's go!"

Earthling made a gesture of ringing a desktop bell, " 'Hi, information, we're David Bowie...most of us anway. We had an out-of-body experience and we'd like to be reunited with him, if it's at all possible!'" He finished with a sarcastic grimace.

"Yeah, that would be kind of hard to swallow," Tin scratched his beard. "Still, I'm gettin' tired of hearing the ladies argue over who's prettier."

Liza combs Veronica's golden locks, "You're the prettiest, Ronnie. Your golden hair is divine!"

Veronica combs Byron's glittering strands, "Oh, no, dah-ling--You're the prettiest! I'd give my eye-teeth for cleavage like yours!"

Byron pouted: "I thought I'm the prettiest!"

Liza and Veronica giggle, "You're the prettiest boy!"

Zane play-pouted, "Hey! I thought I was the prettiest!"

Byron looks down his nose, "What would make YOU think such a thing?"

Zane tosses his hair, "I don't need any make-up because I have natural beauty!"

"Ptoo! Zane! Watch it! That went into my mouth!" Ricochet spat.

"This is f**kin' stupid!" Tin stood up, "I don't care how crazy I'll look! I'm gettin' our damn body back!'

"But we're missin' Ramona," Nathan said.

"And the Duke," Ricochet added.

"And Jareth," Monte added again.

"Let him rot!!" Major Celliers leaned against a tree fuming, "He's an arrogant, back-bitting bastard! The body's better off without him!"

"Like the body was better off without me?" Zero spoke.

Celliers' temper cooled, "No, Zero, this is different. You never harmed anyone, but Jareth tried to kill you!"

"And how many have YOU killed?" Jareth materialized with Grace. She held Halloween Jack with a leash and muzzle; Jareth held Hunky Dory by the scruff of his neck. Both struggled in protest.

Celliers curled his fists, "Come to peck at my liver, vulture?"

"I have better ways of spending my precious energy," Jareth roughly dropped Dory, as the sphinx scurried behind the other Bowies. "Tin, you'd be happy to know that David is awake..."

Every Bowie jumped up and gathered around the Goblin King. Everyone shouted at once in a flurry of worry, "Is he OK?" "Are we going home?" "What did he say?"

"QUIET!!" Jareth raised his hands, "you will all be happy to know that thanks to the wise and powerful Thin White Duke, the beautiful Ramona and myself, we will all be returning home very soon."

"The Duke?" Zane crossed his arms. "Where is he?"

"Where's Ramona?" Detective Adler and Leon said together, both anxiously.

Jareth said, "We've paid the body a visit at the hospital, and unfortunately, he doesn't remember any of us."

The Bowies gasped and whispered to each other 'why?'

"It makes sense," Major Tom said, "We all represent a piece of David's memory--music, movies, etc."

"But it doesn't make sense," Berlin interjected. "Ziggy's dead, and Bowie remembers him. On the other hand, the Duke's alive and the body doesn't remember any experience associated with him."

"Master has a theory," Grace peeked out of Jareth's cape, "You see..." But Jareth covered Grace's mouth and shushed her, "Quiet! Not here...I can't talk about it where the Duke can hear us..."

"Speaking of whom," Earthling was getting impatient, "Where is he? What did you three do at the hospital?"

"And where's Ramona?" Leon insisted again.

Jareth sighed in his normal annoyed tone, "Using the power of diplomacy...What did you do to Aladdin?" Jareth approached to where Aladdin was tied up, giggling, "How inhumane..." He brushed a hand gently over the genie's fire-red hair...

Celliers grabbed that black-gloved and jerked it away from Aladdin Sane, "What do YOU know about humanity? And answer our damn question!!!"

Jaques Celliers is a strong, sturdy man. Compared to him, Jareth looks quite fragile, like a porcelain doll come to life. Pale and willowy, the Goblin King would never win in a physical fight with the battle-hardened Major. But with a seemingly light, effortless swish of his restrained arm, he threw the Major into a tree ten yards away!

"Don't...ever...put your filthy human hands on me," Jareth's eyes darkened, resembling pools of dried blood. The goblin wizard then drew an orb, containing the rifle. The orb popped as the rifle lightly landing in Jareth's leather-clad hands. Cocking the weapon and aiming it, he smirked, "I warned you what would happen if I caught you without your rifle."

Prof. Adler drew his gun, "Drop it, wizard!" The others drew knives.

"Tsk, tsk, Detective. I'm not really going to shoot him," Jareth shook his head. He then took the rifle and crashed it against his knee. The iron weapon shattered like a brittle twig. Celliers gasped in horror. Jareth brushed off his gloves, "As much as it pains me, I need all of us alive."

Enraged, Celliers lunged at Jareth, beating him with his fists. The other Bowies jumped and tried to pull the two brawlers apart.

"Stop it, you two! Major, Jareth!" Zane pleaded with the two, but these are two men with volcanic tempers--dangerous when crossed.

With all of the distraction, Halloween Jack pulled away from Baby Grace and chased Dory up a tree. Halloween Jack tried to nip at Dory, but his muzzle prevented him from taking a bite. Grace tried in vain to pull Jack away on his leash....

"STOP!!!!" A brilliant flash of light blinded everyone, and Aladdin Sane was freed from his restraints. The tree he was tied to was reduced to ash. Aladdin's eyes were full of tears, "Please...stop it! No more fighting! I can't stand it!" And immediately, all combatants stopped cold, gazing at Aladdin. Police sirens were heard in the near distance.
"Wonderful. Now look at what you've done," Jareth constricted his island-wide bubble to enclose the group. When the police passed by to investigate the flash of light, they only saw a burnt tree.

"Musta been lightning," one officer said.

"Wierd, it's still sunny out," the other said, and they moved on.

The bubble made the Bowies invisible to everyone except themselves. Aladdin fell to his knees sobbing. Celliers shook off the dirt and gently approached the weeping genie, "I'm sorry, Aladdin. I didn't mean to upset you, but he..." He glared angrily at Jareth.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!" Aladdin screamed. "You're an intelligent, educated man, Major. You are ALL intelligent people!" He looks to everyone with blue-tear-filled eyes. "Must you all solve your problems by ripping each other to shreds!!??"

Earthling coughed nervously, "We weren't all fighting..."

"Don't contradict me!!" Aladdin lashed at Earthling with a verbal punch usually characteristic of the Duke. He addressed everyone, "Maybe not always with fists--but you tear each other down with words, too. You may think it's all innocent and fun, it's not. You hurt others, sometimes, too. You make cruel jokes about each other. You judge other's worth--as an artist and as people--by your own measuring sticks--yourselves. You call others inferior. Or ugly. Or weak. You exclude others from your group because you don't even know them, or are too scared to know them." As he says this, Liza, Veronica and Nana bow their heads in shame. The Bowies stand silently. Aladdin shook his head sadly, "I've prayed that Ziggy would come back to me, someday. But the Duke is too powerful. He's gotten into everyone, whether we know it or not. As long as he exists, Ziggy can never come back!!" Aladdin tried to fly away again, but the bubble would not let him. He banged his delicate fists against the invisible dome.

"Where are you going, Aladdin?" Jareth said, after a long, uncomfortable silence. "Going to hide away? Curl up in some ivory tower until we all become perfect beings like you?"

Aladdin looked down, "Stop it. Just stop hurting others. Release me, now!" Aladdin threw red and blue bolts of lightning in a desperate attempt to escape."

The goblin king softly sang:

"No one can blame you,
For walking away..."

Aladdin stopped his attack...

"Too much rejection...oh, no...
No love injection....no, no, no...
Life can't be easy,
It's not always swell,
Don't tell me truth hurts, Aladdin Sane,
'Cause it hurts like hell!!!"
He added extra emphesis on the last two lines.

Aladdin floated gently back down, "That song...I've...I've never heard it like that before."

Algeria Touchshriek said, "Tha's 'cause 'e changed the lines!" The Bowies shook their heads at the absent-minded shopkeep.

Aladdin, "No...that's not it...I thought it was some silly pop song."

Jareth, "Now who's being critical. Look at me, Aladdin Sane. Who do you see?"

Aladdin shrugged, "The Goblin King."

"Aladdin," the king shook a finger. "Look closer. Who do you see?"

Aladdin stared intently at the king for a long time, "The Duke...and me."

"And thus...Master's theory," Grace said. Eveyone else looked confused.

" 'Scuse me," Nathan interrupted, "but how's Jareth lookin' like Duke and Aladdin got ANYTHING to do with David?"

Jareth: "I don't have a lot of time to explain. The Duke gave David a pack of cigarettes--Gitanes." Gasps of horror echo through the bubble.

Zero: "How do we know YOU'RE not the Duke's spy?"

Aladdin said, "Because Jareth stopped the Duke from killing me on the rooftop." Everyone looked to Jareth, stunned.

Jareth bowed his head, his white spikes of hair covering his face, "Look. The Duke only thinks I work with him. He seems to think that I won't betray him because I'm afraid of him. This bubble will shield us from his surveilance. So listen closely," everyone gathered around, "because this is the only way we can get back home..."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
09/15/01 09:48 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts new [re: Kristin Machina]  

oooh, give me more, give me more, give me so much more!

if ignorance be bliss, than bliss is sin
ape men with metal parts

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/27/01 11:33 PM
Splitting Headache--Lunch Break new [re: Kristin Machina]  

OK, here's a quickie...they'll be more tomorrow..
"Grrrrrrr...." a growl came from Halloween Jack.

Jareth turned up his slender nose, "Don't growl at me, you filthy curr!"

"Uh, I didn't," Jack said with a quizzical look on his face.

"Grrrrrr...." it still came from Halloween Jack, only lower...

"Um," Jack licked his lips, "it's my belly."

Hunky Dory apprehensively creeped under Zane's skirt...

Zane: "Dory, get out of there! Go hide in Earthling's coat."

Tin Machine, "Trying to pass up a pussy between your legs, Zane?" That witty line earned Tin a whack on the head with Nana's cane.

Nana: "For shame, Mr. Machine! There are ladies present! And...Algeria! That wasn't funny!"

Poor Mr. Touchshriek was beside himself with asthmatic giggles. Then his stomach rumbled, too.

Soon came the wave of rumbles from the group.

"I'm hungry," Grace pouted.

"Not now!" Aladdin Sane said, "The Goblin King was about to tell us how the get home!"

Jareth shook his head, annoyed, "There is a troubling lack of focus among the Bowies. Now if could all just pay attention and..."

Boz, "Hypoglycemia-may-impair-mental-function, plus-the-added-discomfort-of-a-stomach-churning-nothing-but-acid, not-to-mention-the-potential-internal-injury..."

Liza said, cheerfully, "It's agreed then! Let's talk over lunch!"

Aladdin: "I'm not hungry."

Jareth: "Me neither."

Major Celliers scowled, "Being around HIM," pointing to the wizard, "ruins my appetite!"

Zero: "Mine too."

Yankee, "I've written my best stuff on an empty stomach..."

Earthling stomped his foot. A sonic boom shook the ground underneath Jareth's dome, and knocked all Bowies to their collective behinds!

Nathan staggered back up, "Earthling!"

Earthling, "Sorry, but I don't like using my special ability too often. It feels like a waste of energy. Aladdin," he addressed the genie, unaffected since Aladdin can float, "you wanna bring us all together, right?"

Aladdin nodded.

"Well, then, a meal is the perfect setting! Break some bread and mend some bridges."

Newton scratched his wig, "But we couldn't go over any bridges. We couldn't leave the island!"

Earthling: "Figure of speech, mate. Now can we put aside all the bullshit and get something to eat?"

There was a long, thoughful pause.

Major Tom: "I've saved some food packets from my capsule, in emergencies--proteiin pills, Vitamin droplets, evaporated milk--Oh, I've got a toothpaste-like container that's really a lovely ham sandwich..."

The Bowies: "Uh, no thanks..." "Thanks, no, Major..."

Then, Pierrot made a series of gestures--he appeared to be tossing a large disk over his head and spinning it around. The disk gets larger and larger...

"Pizza!" Yankee shouts! Pierrot smiles and nods, then mimes a pie falling on his face. Yankee says, "Of course, this city is known for great pizza!"

Jareth sneered, "I don't like pizza."

Berlin folded his arms, "You've probably never HAD pizza."

Jareth: "That's how I know I don't like it," he stubbornly folded his cape around him.

Earthling: "All in favor of pizza, raise your hands."

Everyone did--except the Goblin King.

Major Celliers smiled mischieviously, "All in favor of instituting cannibalism, starting with one over-coiffed, tight-wearing fairy-tale outcast..." the Bowie closed in on...

"OK, OK!" Jareth cowered, "Fine! Just as long as it's someplace tasteful and elegant..."
The Hunka-Hunka-Burning Cheese Pizzaria.... The place looked like a Fiftie's style drive-in, but it had wall-to-wall photoes and murals of 'the King'. There was even a Sistine-Chapel-like ceiling mural of a half-naked Elvis. The place had metal tables and leopard-print chairs. And Elvis music on the jukebox. Only Elvis music. There are many pizza parlors in New York. This one happened to be totally devoted to a man who just happened to share a birthday with our Bowies.

The owner clearly didn't see the humor. A very large (widthwise) man in his mid-sixties with a jet-black pompadour and a rhinestone apron, found that his own cullinary shrine to the King, was now overrun with queens...and a couple of Jacks. And a few straights.

"I'm-a gonna Royal Flush you wierdos outta here if you don't git out!" The owner scowled.

Ricochet, "We want to order 5 pizzas, please. And about 20 sodas."

"Forget it, Pineapple-Head!"

Ricochet fumed, but Liza and Veronica slid up to the counter...

Veronica leaned into the counter, sideways, seductively, "You know, dah-ling, we were just DEVASTATED when we heard the King was gone..."

The owner blushed, smiling, "Not gone, ma'am...not really."

Liza leaned forward, and crossed her arms on the countertop, giving the owner a very nice view of her..."Oh, Liza and I always dreamed of singing back-up with Elvis...As you can clearly see, I'm a BIG fan!" Some parts of her more than others...as the Pizza owner drooled.

Veronica put a slender finger to her red lips, play pouting, "But, if you don't want us around, then..."

Liza pouted a lip, "We could always...move on..." They turn away, then...

The owner sputtered, "L..l..ladies!!! Ladies! Mah apologies!" He puts his arms around each lady's shoulder, "One must show hospitality to his guest, especially where I'm from--in Memphis!"

Ricochet scratches his head, "How do they do it?"

Tin says, "They're called boobs, Ric."

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 09/28/01 03:30 PM (server time).

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
09/28/01 03:21 PM
Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

One of the pizzaria's waiters, a wide-eyed boy in his late teens, dressed as the Ed Sullivan version of Elvis, was absolutely dumbfounded. As he passed out the sodas, he tapped Berlin on the shoulder, "Are you the '68 comeback Elvis?"

Berlin: "Er, no. But I remember when he died..."

Yankee snorted, "Good riddance." He sulked on his straw.

Berlin: "Yankee! What's with the attitude?"

Yankee looked like he'd burst into tears, "Elvis didn't like my song! I thought "Golden Years" would be perfect..."

Leon asked, "But Yankee, that's one of the Thin White Duke's tunes..."

Yankee: "IS NOT! I wrote it! I wrote it for my sweet, sweet Angie..." Yankee then gets all moony-eyed.

This time, Berlin snorts, "Wait until 'sweet, sweet Angie' leaves your five-year-old son alone on Christmas to go to a party."

'Young Elvis' waiter shakes his head, "Man, I only dress like Elvis to pay for med school--you guys are obsessed!" Then continues on his way.

Leon patted Yankee on the shoulder, "Well if that old druggie didn't appreciate your song, then he missed out, big time."

Yankee smiled, and hugged Leon, "Thanks."

Earthling knelt by Aladdin, who was sitting in a corner table. The others had persuaded Aladdin to wear clothes in a restaurant, so the genie wore the powder-blue "Life on Mars" suit. Earthling said, pointing to Yankee, Leon and Berlin, "See? We get along once in a while."

Aladdin rested his head in his hands on the table, "But we're still too fragmented. Look." The poker group--Zane, Tin, Monte, and Ricochet were playing cards (as usual) in one corner. Dory and Halloween Jack stared at each other from opposite ends of the room. Nathan sat alone, sketching something in a room. Pierrot was imitating the cooks behind the counter, as they were flipping pizzas. Major Tom and Boz were analyzing the contents of the pizza's 'special sauce.' Major Celliers leaned against the doorway, glaring at the cloaked figure of the Goblin King, who sat silently with Grace next to Aladdin. Algeria and Nana sat at their own table, sipping one malted with two straws, smiling peacefully. The other chorus girls giggled at the couple. The owner was trying to make conversation with the girls, once in a while make Elvis-like gyrations. Byron, intimidated by 'big Elvis' leaned nervously against the jukebox, along with Zero.

Aladdin: "We're still in the same small groups. No one is really interacting with each other."

Liza smiled at Nana and Algeria, telling Veronica, "They're so cute!"

Veronica smiled, too, "I still think Al's creepy, but Nana seems happy."

The owner chuckled nervously, "Heh, heh, hey ladies, why are y'al so interesting in this Bowie character. Y'know the King could do it all--he could dance," he swung his hips, "he could play guitar..."

Liza and Veronica: "Like Ziggy?"

'Big Elvis': "Uh? Whatever. AND he could sing! Listen here!" He waddled over to the jukebox, "Outta mah way, ya pansies!" Byron and Zero backed away from the jukebox, as 'Big Elvis' put in a quarter. The record began the play, and he sang, "Are you lonesome...toniiiight...."

'Big Elvis' may have had the accent down--and the pre-mortem look down--but his cartoonish, wobbly, gruff voice just wasn't the genuine article. By the end of the first verse, Liza and Veronica smiled, to be polite, but were taken aback by a second voice...

Zero, while reviled as the weakest Bowie artistically, can still sing like Bowie. Like Bowie, if he had the will to, he could sound like Frank, or Bing...or even Elvis. Only better--because's it's still David's voice. As the gold-winged persona sang, the whole room, before filled with a dozen separate conversations, went quiet. Everyone was amazed. 'Big Elvis' went quiet, too--but he wasn't happy about being interrupted.

Zero finished the song, kneeling by the girl's table, "...with the stars in your eyes...tell me, are you lonesome....tonight....

The song stopped playing, and it was pin-drop quiet for 5 seconds.

Then the rooom exploded in applause! Zero bashfully bowed, but was grabbed by the lapels of his gold-leather jacket and spun around. He looked Big Elvis in the face--and Elvis' face was beet-red with anger, "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MAH SONG!!"

Liza and Veronica stood up, "But we liked Zero's..."

"STAY OUTTA THIS, WOMEN!" Big Elvis then got a tap on the shoulder. Nathan scowled at him, "Put him down. Now."

"Make me!' Elvis should watch what he said. All Bowies were now surrounding him--all with very dangerous looks on their faces. They may be mostly skinny, but they still outnumbered him at least twenty-to-one.

Nathan then said, "Sir, we haven't caused you any trouble. Now put the boy down, and please bring us our food so we can leave."

Ricochet said, "Or we can just leave and you'd be out at least a hundred bucks, including tip...if we really wanted to..."

The owner quickly released Zero, overwhelmed and giggling nervously, "Hey! Hey! Ah'm sorry 'bout that! Ah...Ah'll git yer food! Right away!" He then skittled off behind the counter.

Zero breathed a sigh of relief, then frowned, "I'm...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have opened my mouth..." He began to back up to his corner, when Aladdin put a hand on his shoulder. The genie hugged Zero, whispering, "It's not your fault." The genie's eyes met the others, "Well done, everyone. Well done." He smiled.

Nathan adjusted his hat, bashfully, "Well, we can't let one of ours get pushed around." The others nodded in agreement.

Zero: "Wow! You mean you all stood up for me even though..."

Earthling, "Hey! We've all done worse things. Right?"

Eveyone, "Right!"

Zero smiled and started to weep...

"ACK!! Enough with the after-school melodrama!" Jareth shouted, "Can we get to business or what!!??"

Aladdin released Zero and smiled, "OK, we're ready. Let's push all the table together and talk--as one group this time. Jareth? Tell us how to get home."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 09/28/01 03:39 PM (server time).

(mortal with potential)
10/01/01 12:18 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

this is all so killer (cool)! give us more, please!! Keep it up!


Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
10/23/01 04:06 PM
That Crazy Balance of My Mind new [re: Kristin Machina]  


"Dad, calm down!" Duncan tried to soothe his father, as they and Iman sat by the window of David's hospital room.

"I can't," David was near tears, "I've always been afraid of becoming schitzophrenic--I just thought it would have happened sooner. I can still remember your Uncle Terry screaming about cracks in the pavement..."

Iman said, "But David, my darling, this is different--you've had an accident! These visions could just be a side effect of medication..."

"Or lack of sleep, from what Iman tells me," Duncan said.

David became quiet for a moment, "What if I never write another song again? Ever?"

Iman shrugged, "It's up to you. We're not hard up for money..."

"It's NOT about money!!" David snapped, startling his son and wife. David blushed, "I'm...I'm sorry I yelled. I'm so confused...I don't know what I'd do if I can't sing again."

"Are you sure it's not just a sore throat?" Iman asked.

David tried to sing a note again, but all that came out was a silent wheeze.

"Wierd," Duncan said.

"You know," David said, "quitting cigarettes is turning out to be the worst thing I've ever done..."

Duncan: "No, Dad, don't say that!"

David: "Well, it's true! Maybe I was just never meant to quit. This isn't a battle I'm willing to fight..."
"So give in, David," The Duke whispers..

Ramona taps her foot on the ground, "I wonder where all of the other Bowies are. I don't trust Jareth..."

"Hush!" Duke snapped, "It doesn't matter, as long as they are out of my way. But just to be safe..."
The pizza parlor....

"It's an all-or-nothing action," Jareth explained over his slice of peach pizza, "If even one of us objects to going home, no one goes home."

"WE'RE DOOMED!" Byron screamed, "The Duke won't come back until the body starts smokin' again, and then we'll all be slaves!"

"Not if we let him," Major Celliers said.

"For once, Major Flower-Eater is right," Jareth grimaced, "The Duke became so powerful because we ALL let him be!" The others listened attentively. Jareth continued, "When Ziggy 'died', there was a void left for a leader--a central character. The Duke, whether we knew it or not, took over that position..."

Aladdin Sane interjected, "Which is why we need Ziggy back!" The others nodded in agreement with shouts of "Here, here!"

Jareth put his slice down, "I've been trying to revive Ziggy for years. My early revivals were failures: first was a Polish prostitute."

Ricochet asked, "Paul?"

Tin chucked, "Our '32 Elvis movies in one!?'"

Ricochet: "Tin, watch it," he glanced over at the still-fuming owner, "I wondered why he wasn't around...And Blaylock!"

Jareth, rubbing his neck, "Ah yes...him. Rather messy episode. Do something nice like bring a vampire back from the dead, and he thinks you're dinner. No gratitude. No manners, either. No matter--he rotted away as soon as I revived him. But my third attempt was more successful," Jareth looks to...

"Who, me?" Major Celliers was stunned.

"Wot? You think you just popped back to life 'cause the body liked you?" Jareth cocked an eyebrow.

Celliers gulped, "But why me? I thought you hated me!"

Jareth gasped, pretentiously, "Jacques! I don't hate YOU...although in your post-mortem post-vivication hysteria, you almost SHOT me!"

Celliers scratched his head (his hat was off, for good table manners), "Um, I don't remember that...but...um...sorry, mate."

Jareth: "I blame hypoxia to the brain. Forgivable..from a medical point of view."

Nathan said, "So I supposed Baby Grace Blue was your latest attempt."

Jareth's expression turned darker than usual, and a little sad, "The longest, more gut-wrenching experiment I've ever done. The idea that anyone would have the nerve to call this art...," his gloved fist tightened, "It makes me hate humans even more."

Grace took his fist in her little cold hands and smiled at him. Jareth's face relaxed, leaving only a rueful smile, "Anyway, if I could re-assemble this piece of human wreckage, then there was no reason why I couldn't revive Ziggy. Or so I thought."

Earthling: "So why don't you revive Ziggy?"

Jareth: "At first, I thought it was the nature of his death. Grace and Major Celliers were murdered. Ziggy was a suicide. Suicides are almost impossible to revive. The reason is: With suicide, the person forfeits his or her will to live."

Ricochet shrugged, "But Paul was murdered, too."

Jareth, "But the body didn't want Paul to live."

Tin: "We never liked that movie, anyway. Even "Hunger" was a bit dodgy..."

Jareth: "Blaylock died of old age. Very old age--there was almost nothing to revive."

Aladdin stood up, "Wait! Are you saying that the reason you can't revive Ziggy because the body doesn't want him!?" Blue tears began to fall from his red eyes, "That's not fair!!"

"No, no! I didn't say I CAN'T revive him! It's just...um...how do I say this right?"

Zane, "Just say it!"

"I don't have all the pieces."

Everyone: "HUH?"

Jareth took a deep breath, "It took me years to figure it out but...There are two major components to revival: One--all the pieces have to be together and two--the body must will it. Grace was in several pieces, but the body still wants her for "Contamination,""

Nathan says to himself, "That's why I can't finish!"

Jareth: "I believe that David wants very much for Ziggy to return...but pieces are missing..."

Zero: "What pieces? Ziggy wasn't dismembered. Was he?"

Jareth: "Well, who is missing now?"

Leon: "Duke and Ramona."

Dory: "But they came well after Ziggy!"

Jareth tapped his chin, "Did they? Let's think for a moment: In the beginning, there was Major Tom--the spaceman, the beginning of David's alien fascination. Then came Zane--not only David's first attempt at gender bending, but the first attempt at 'hard rock'. The sphinx--in our case, Dory--is the ancient symbol of androgyny--and magic. Instead of separate entities, these three in particular were the prototypes, or 'building blocks', to Ziggy."

Yankee thought, "Is the Duke trying to prevent Ziggy's revival. I mean he kidnapped Zane and Dory..."

Newton, "And the lightning strike on TVC15 could not have been an accident!"

Jareth: "Very good, there is intelligent life here after all! But there's more! Ziggy became too big for the body's mind to handle--he overwhelmed the other personas and began to take over David's life..."

Major Tom: "The memories are a bit hazy...but it felt as if we all became part of Ziggy's consciousness..."

Jareth: "Ziggy's ego! So to save the body and mind--before suicide became the only alternative--Ziggy had to split his ego into smaller pieces," then Jareth looks to...

"Me." Aladdin Sane said. "Ziggy created me as sort of a second pair of eyes."

"But he unknowingly upset the balance of his own mind. Like Bowie, Ziggy's mind is made up of different characters--two essential and opposite forces--one of creation, one of destruction. Aladdin Sane is that of creation. The remaining 'destructive' side was left alone, and consumed Ziggy from the inside."

Aladdin: "That's wrong! Ziggy was never destructive! He was kind and gentle!"

Jareth smiled ruefully, "Ah, my dear Aladdin, that's because YOU were Ziggy's kind and gentle half. But when you split with Ziggy..."

Dory: "He became a monst-urr. Aladdin, I'm sor-rry, but Ziggy ran amok at the end. The body lost a lot of weight. David was lost in Ziggy!"

Jareth: "And Ziggy knew this! He knew he had to sacrifice himself to save the mind. But his plan back-fired--after Ziggy's self-destruction, the 'destructive' side was set free, but wasn't given a name for years."

"Then which one of us is Ziggy's destructive side?" Liza asked.

Everyone looked to Aladdin.

"The Thin White Duke," Aladdin said. "The truth is he's existed for years before Ziggy."

Jareth: "Classic tale of good-vs.-evil. Without one, the other would not exist. And yet, Ziggy never really 'died'--he's just scattered. His 'pieces'--knowingly or not--have often tried to come back together. Every persona since is a hybrid or mutation of a previous persona. For example..."

"You!" Aladdin exclaims.

"Right--I'm probably more Duke than Aladdin, though. Same with Newton, but kinder. Berlin, Ricochet and Yankee are more benign forms of the Duke. Liza, Veronica and Nana--as David in drag--owe their existences to both Berlin and Dory. Tin is Zane's descendant. Pierrot is Major Tom's descendant. Earthling is a second-generation Berlin. Zero is part Halloween Jack, part Ricochet. Screamin' Lord Byron is everyone up until '84!"

"So what you're saying is," Earthing said, "is we're all related to Ziggy in some way."

Pierrot was feverishly sketching Jareth's proposed family tree on a napkin.

Jareth: "Correct."

Tin: "And the only way for Ziggy to revive is for all of us to--to quote a dearly departed friend of mine--come together."

Zane: "Even the Duke."

Jareth: "Especially the Duke. We need everyone--I do mean EVERYONE--to come together."

Zero shook his head, "But you tried to destroy me!"

Jareth: "I had to prove my loyalty to the Duke to save my own skin. I'm sorry. Beside, I couldn't destroy you even if I really tried. The body would not allow it."

Zero was taken aback: "You...you mean.. David still needs me??"

"I suppose you learn from your mistakes..."

Zero started doing backflips across the restaurant, "Bowie NEEDS ME!!!" Laughter broke out in the pizzaria.

Screamin' Lord Byron screamed again, "WE'RE DOOMED! The Duke's never coming home until he gets his way! He'll zap us first!"

"That is the frustrating part," Aladdin said, "It's the body's decision to start smoking again. We need to prepare if he does..."

Thunder booms. "I just can't trust anyone, can I, Jareth?" The Duke walks in, in a thin cloud of mist, followed by Ramona.

Everyone jumps to their feet.

"So Duke," Dory growls, "You've come crrrawling out of yurr hole!"

Nathan: "Ramona."

"Conspiring against me??" The Duke angrily glares at Jareth.

"Damn it! I thought we were snoop-proof," Jareth spat.

"More freaks!" Big Elvis sighed, "You ain't gonna cause trouble in here, are ya?"

The Duke looked about the place with a disgusted look, "You dedicated this little dive to some fat, bloated, washed-up, homophobic has-been! I should tear this place apart brick by brick!" As he said this, a lightning bolt formed in his hand. Before he tossed it, a glass globe crashed into the Duke's head, knocking him down. The Duke was stunned.

"Leave these mortals out of this!" Jareth glared down. 'Big Elvis', terrified, ducked behing a counter, and began to dial '911.' But Ramona, with her rifle, shot up the phone.

"Enough!" Aladdin and the other Bowies surrounded the Duke, "I wil not have innocent people hurt!"

"Well then, little genie," the Duke sneered, standing up, rubbing his head, "You're right. Let's settle matters outside!"

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
10/24/01 00:49 AM
Re: That Crazy Balance of My Mind new [re: Kristin Machina]  

ok...great new chapter, but damn, im spinning now!!! i think ill have to read that whole family tree thing 2 more times to get it all straight. i tell you, kristin, you rock for being to put a story like this together, you obviously put a lot of thought and planning into it, and its so detailed, im just amazed!!! starbuck

ps, once i get my creative juices back, im gonna try really hard to do some drawings for the story, but damnit, ive got serious problems with my creativity and the damn pen just wont draw!!!


Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
10/24/01 01:09 AM
The Family Tree new [re: Starbuck]  

And that was the short version of the tree! I'm sure His Crankiness didn't have the time or patience to go over all of it, but it just shows how all the personas evolved from each other. The Bowies in this story are all really squabbling siblings!

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
10/24/01 03:31 AM
Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"Fine by me!" Aladdin Sane scowled, as he and the Duke stormed outside. The other Bowies chased after the two...

Ricochet left a one-hundred dollar bill on the counter, where Big Elvis was trembling behind.

Ricochet: "Um...this ought to cover it. Sorry about the mess. Keep the change!" And he ran out to follow the others.

Young Elvis Waiter stood dumbfounded, "Only in New York..."

"Wait a minute!!" Detective Nathan Adler shouted after the Duke and Aladdin, who stood in the middle of Lexington Avenue, in the way of traffic. "What about what the Goblin King was just saying!? We can't be fightin'!"

Aladdin: "It's just a safety precaution, in case the Duke throws one of his tantrums and brings the place down!" His red eyes never left the Duke's piercing blues.

"Why should I care about some silly little shrine to a dead rock star?" the Duke huffed.

"When there's PEOPLE in it, you heartless son of a..."

Nana: "Ah, could you boys settle this OUT OF THE STREET!" Not only was the multitude of Bowies drawing a crowd, but they were halting traffic on one of the busiest streets in the city! Car honked furiously: "Git outta da way!" "Yo! Put on some pants!"

The Thin White Duke whipped his arms up and down, and lightning crashed onto the street behind him. Panicked motorists fled their vehicles and ran down the street.

Aladdin tackled the Duke in a red-and-blue lightning flash and screamed: "STOP IT!! You've wrecked our own world! Do you have to wreck this one too??"

Ramona aimed her very large gun at Aladdin's head, "He's trying to save our world, you simple creature. Now get off him, now!"

Nathan drew his gun, "Get away from Aladdin, Ms. Stone! I hardly call scaring dozens of New Yorkers 'savin' the world'."

As frail as the Thin White Duke appears to be, he managed to roll on top of Aladdin, as the two rolled around on the concrete, "If the body stops smoking, it IS the end of the world as we know it! It is the fuel of his creativity!"

Aladdin rolled on top, "No, my other half--WE are the fuel of his creativity--as well as its products! Get up," the genie pulled up the Duke by the lapels of his vest, "Look at us!" He gestures at the Bowies on the sidewalk, all holding knives, "WE created all this--just as Major Tom, Zane and Dory created Ziggy and Ziggy created us!"

Duke swatted away Aladdin's hands, "Well I'm not going back without my cigarettes!"

Aladdin breathed a heavy sigh, "Look, my brother, I am very tired of fighting with you...perhaps it's time we talked for once."

Duke made a loud, humourless "Ha!" "'Brother??' How dare you, my lesser half! I am far superior to you--far superior to you all--including Ziggy!"

"That's not important right now, Duke," Aladdin said. "We cannot stay here forever. We have nowhere to go--nowhere to stay. Eventually we will fade away, and David will be left with nothing."

"If he doesn't start smoking again, then nothing he is!" The Duke was adamant.

Tin screamed, "I can't f**kin' believe he's keeping us here because he wants his f**kin' smokes!! He's such a god-damn baby!"

"This isn't about smokes, is it, Duke?" Jareth stepped forward, "This is about control. You're afraid of losing control."

The Duke glanced coldly at Jareth, "Practicing psychiatry without a license, I see?"

Jareth: "I've found that Major Celliers inherited your temper."

"And whose side are you on, Goblin King? Weren't you aiming to make Ziggy your slave the same as you've made Baby Grace?" The Duke cocked an eyebrow.

"What??" Aladdin looked at Jareth, shocked.

"We both have our ambitions, Duke," Jareth cooly adjusted his long, black gloves. "I am only claiming my birthright as a descendant of Ziggy Stardust--you and Aladdin have had your chance."

Leon Blank: "Son of a bitch!"

The Duke stepped up to Jareth, the two men in black staring pale face to pale face, "You don't know what you're asking for, boy. To revive Ziggy is to damn us into a subconscious collective. We'll lose our autonomy, our individuality. I won't share power with anyone!"

Jareth smirked in his usual cavalier fashion: "Didn't your mummy and daddy tell you to share with the other boys and girls." Then his expression turned serious, "You've done without cocaine--you can without cigarettes. So grow up!"

The Duke stared at his descendant intently, "I have to give you credit. You've done a fine job deducing our family tree. But do you know where John Blaylock came from?"

Before Jareth could even think of an answer, the Duke grabbed the King's hair from behind and jerked his backwards. The Duke then sank his teeth into his throat! The wild-haired wizard screamed as the blood and his power were drained from his body.

"NO!" Nathan fired his gun and struck Duke in the shoulder. The others rushed to the two, but Ramona sprayed gunfire above their heads. Earthing was the first to hit the ground, terrified of firearms. The others followed suit, screaming.

Meanwhile, the Duke-- blue blood dripping from his lips and his arm, reeled in pain and dropped the wizard. He transformed into a black owl and flew off. Nathan and Major Celliers got up and fired their weapons at the fleeing bird, but missed as the owl vanished.

"Duke!" Ramona screamed. "Wait! Don't leave my behind, you bastard!!"

Aladdin was the first to reach Jareth. The Goblin King looked ashen, blood gurgling from his mouth and neck. "Jareth!!" Aladdin screamed, "Jareth, are you alright!? Oh God," he tried to cover Jareth's wound with his own little hand, "I'm sorry...I couldn't stop him..."

Jareth's eyes twinkled with fading magic, "A...Al...Aladdin...re..member...what I..."

Grace fell at her fallen master's side, "Master!! Don't die, please!"

Jareth very weakly chuckled, as blood gurgled, "My...li'... dar...ling...I cannot...die...my power...will pass...on....Aladdin..." The genie leaned in. "Aladdin...take...my power...it's...yours..."

Aladdin shook his red head furiously, "Don't talk like that! I won't have another Bowie die!"

Grace took her own knife, then took Aladdin's hand and forcebly slashed his palm. Before Aladdin can protest in pain,Grace placed his shallowly slashed palm onto Jareth's neck. A blood-to-blood transfer of power--as it began fifteen years ago--returned some of Aladdin's energy to him from his own descendant. Energy flowed up Aladdin's arm and throughout his body, causing him to glow brightly. Seconds later, the transfer was complete, and the Goblin King was...

"NOOOOO!" Aladdin screamed, covering his face with his bloody hands.

Grace said, quietly, "Master said that if anything ever happened to him, his power would go to me. He taught me what to do. But his power is really your power, Master Aladdin."

Aladdin shook violently, sobbing. Grace embraced him, sobbing as well. The other Bowies gingerly gathered around, gazing in horror and grief. Nathan and Halloween Jack removed their hats. So did Major Celliers, "How cruel..."

Ramona, uncomfortably, backed away from the scene, but was grabbed from the arm by Leon Blank, "Your lover just killed a man! Where has he gone, you old bitch!!??"

"Let go, child," Ramona slapped him away, "The double-crosser got what was coming to him!"

Aladdin choked back tears, "We've got to find the Duke. Now."

"Right, he can't get away with this!" Halloween Jack howled, "I don't care what Jareth's done--he didn't deserve this!"

"It's not just that," Aladdin said, cradling Jareth's lifeless body in his arms, "The Duke has half of his power, including his own. The Thin White Duke has now become more dangerous than ever."

Don't understand me, just love me

(crash course raver)
10/24/01 10:26 AM
Re: The Family Tree new [re: Kristin Machina]  

squabling siblings...hmmm...we at teenagewildlife wouldnt know anything about that....hehe starbuck (ill read the new chapter later, must drag ass to class...)


(grinning soul)
10/25/01 08:07 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings new [re: Kristin Machina]  

::sniff::::sniff:: Jareth really dead? ::SNIFFF::

siblings.... heheheh

can't wait for the next chapter!


Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
11/16/01 05:01 AM
Splitting Headache--Underground new [re: Kristin Machina]  

The sirens of rapidly approaching police cars could be heard, as the Bowies, still reeling from what just happened, ran for cover. Aladdin carried Jareth in his arms; Leon grabbed Ramona by the arm and the mob ran off. Pushing past stunned New Yorkers, the Bowies stampede down the narrow side-streets, down the subway steps and jump past the turnstyle gates. A half-dozing subway clerk woke up in time to find that Boz has hacked into the electronic Metro-Card System, allowing the Bowies to escape freely into the tunnels.

Bewildered strap-hangers don't know what to make of the flurry of colorful characters rushing in. Before uniformed police could make it past the gates, the Bowie already have hopped on the incoming 6 train, as it pulled away uptown.

The handful of humans silently stare at the twenty or so odd-looking, out of breath people, who all sort of look alike. They wonder why one of them looks unconscious, with blue liquid around his neck. All they know is, instinct tells them to move to another car and fast.

Alone in the car, except for a shabby-looking man sleeping in the corner, the Bowie contemplate the last few moments...

"WE'RE DOOMED!!" Screamin' Lord Byron whines.

"You say that so often," Aladdin Sane says, "One wonders what your basis of...." Before he can finish his sentence, he and the others become acutely aware of a persona quoting a line belonging to the seemingly deceased.

"Aladdin?" Earthling begins to ask.

Aladdin smiles, as he strokes the goblin's hair in his lap, "This is what Jareth was saying--we are not as separate or as different as we think we are. We share the same energy--one arises from another. I feel as if Jareth's energy has passed onto me, like he was returning a borrowed piece of myself."

Aladdin's hands glow, and Jareth's form shifts form into a small gold orb. The gold orb hovers briefly for a few seconds at Aladdin's forehead, then melts into it. The brief vision of a gold circle on the brow of the red-headed genie invoked in the others a memory of another lost persona, before the circle quickly vanished.

Aladdin then smiled serenely, "Jareth's not dead. Ziggy's not dead. We're going to bring them back!"

"How??" Detective Adler scratching his thinning hair under his hat, "My head is still spinning."

Aladdin: "We have to find the Duke. Like it or not, we cannot go home without him."

Ramona, who had been dragged with the group by the arms by Leon, was now the focus of attention. Leon clamped onto her like a vice, glaring into her eyes, "Where is he, witch!? Where have you two been shacking up??"

Ramona roughly kicked Leon in the shins with her heavy jackboots, knocking him onto the train floor. She turned to the train door to run, but was blocked by Zero.

Zero: "This is not a game, Ramona! Futures are at stake here!"

Ramona drew her gun, and pointed it at Zero's head, "You gilded fool--there IS no future!! We are headed to a bleak damnation of mediocrity!"

Zero: "Huh?"

Ramona: "It's over! Our body is regressing into a life of domestic sterility! His artistic soul is gone! There is no point in going back!"

Zero: "But Ramona...how did you get here?"

Ramona glared at him puzzled.

Zero: "I mean, I was supposed to be the end of Bowie's creative glory. I'm the weakest link, to quote the dame in black. It was supposed to be 'over' when I was born, so how did you get created?"

Ramona put a fist on her waist, annoyed: "I still don't understand."

Zero: "Well, you wouldn't consider "Outside" a weak effort, right?"

Ramona: "Of course not! I was brilliant!"

Nathan, Leon, Algeria and Grace coughed conspicuously.

"OK, WE were brilliant!"

Zero: "Right, and that was 8 years after me! So there was still something there--his 'artistic soul' wasn't gone. It was just...lulled to sleep, I guess. Shoved to the back in the name of popularity and money."

Ricochet uncomfortable shifted in his chair.

Zero: "I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. I'm just saying...it happened. We made mistakes, and some of us are products of those mistakes. Especially me. But anyway...it doesn't have to be over! You're living proof," he points to Ramona, who by then lowered her gun. "It's over only if we sit back and do nothing!"

Ramona paused, "How trite."

Halloween Jack: "Sheesh, what a tough nut!"

Tin stood up, "OK, let's cut the bullshit! Ramona, you're outnumber about 20 to 1. So..." he drew a knife, "you can either help us, or we could just cut you open, like Duke did Jareth, and watch which parts of you go to which persona."

Ramona screamed, waving a gun, "You wouldn't! The Duke will rain hell on all of you!"

Leon, from the floor, "Well, how valuable do you really think you are to him, if he just dumped yo' ass on Lexington!"

Ramona screamed, "DUKE!!! HELP ME!!"

"F-f-f-freeze!" the shabby-looking man jumped up, with a badge and a gun, "I..I don't know what you are, but you're all under arrest!"

Grace tapped the undercover cop on the arm. As he looked down, she took a handful of moondust and gently blew it into his face. The cop collapsed, fast asleep on the cabin floor.

Monte gasped, "Baby Grace, what have you done!!??"

Grace: "Master gave me some--for emergencies."

Byron shook his head in his hands, "We are ALL going straight to hell!"

Ramona, meanwhile, saw no means of escape. There was no response from the Duke. She was utterly alone.

The Bowies surrounded her. Detective Adler said, "Well, Ramona? You with us or what?"

Ramona, like the Duke, believes that emotions are a sign of weakness. Showing them are even worse. But her threshhold had been exceeded, and she began to weep, "I'm frightened. What if David never creates again? What will I do?"

"Ya wanna let that happen?" Detective Adler asked, gently.

Ramona wiped a solitary tear from her eye, recompossing herself, "Hell, no!"

Nathan: "Good. Then let's get home and start somethin'! Let's get off our asses and do somethin', rather than sittin' around, bitching about it!"

Major Tom: "The body cannot create if it is dead, which is what will happen if the Duke has his way."

Ramona crossed her arms: "Only if I see the promise of new creation...I cannot change what I am--I am The Voyeur of Utter Destruction. I exist for death. Perhaps I am the reaper that allows for new crops to grow. Destroy that which is destined to die to allow for new life." Ramona paused, "I do not want this body to die. I do not want to die. The Cloisters..."

Nathan: "Huh?"

Ramona sighed, "The Duke is at the Cloisters. Uptown."
To be continued....

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 11/19/01 00:03 AM (server time).

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
11/21/01 01:32 AM
Splitting Headache--The Hunger new [re: Kristin Machina]  

At the uppermost tip of Manhattan is the Cloisters, an old monestary that is now a museum. Its lovely medieval structure and sprawling gardens offers a respite of the sometimes overwhelming moderness of the rest of the city. It is the picture of serenity...

But a dark cloud loomed over the Cloisters, as the interior was mutated into the blackness of the Duke's castle. Stark and cold, intermittent narrow white beams of light offer little light and no warmth.

The Duke sat on his throne, licking the residual blue blood of the Goblin King, relishing its taste, with a faraway gaze on his face. Unlike before, he usually cold glare had a hue of feral hunger. The taste of blood has awakened in the Duke a new kind of lust...

He felt his battle over cigarettes was becoming a futile one, as long as the others won't cooperate with him...

Jareth was proven to be working against him...and he paid for it...

And Ramona is too much of a loose cannon, as fun as she was in bed...

And there's Aladdin...

Then there were external factors...That damned black enchantress.......the Duke mused. I can control his mind, but she is the master of his heart. Lately he's been using too much of the latter....But, he slowly licked the last drop off his bony thumb, What if there were a way to...eliminate...this external threat?

Lost in hideous thought, the Duke's tongue rolled over his fingertips, How sweet would her warm blood taste?

The Duke rose from his throne, but interrupted by the stabbing sharp pain in his still-healing wounded arm. Hissing, he's determined that the feeding order would simply have to start with all those annoying inferior incarnations of himself! By that, he's finally gather enough power to destroy Aladdin, then go for 'the witch.'

He gazed into the mirror--the body is still in the hospital...that den of disease and foul body fluids. I won't even think of stepping foot in there! he turns up his nose, better wait until they're home...less people likely to intefere...

With his good arm, he lifted the seat of his wide throne. Stuffed inside, was the quivering mummy of yet another persona!

"Hmm, hmm," the Duke dryly chuckled, "And that over-coiffed idiot wondered why he couldn't revive you. Don't worry, Mr. Blaylock," The Duke slammed the throne shut, "you were very useful, for one thing at least..."

To be continue

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
12/18/01 08:54 AM
Splitting Headache--Busted! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

The Manhattan subway system can take you anwhere, the Bowies collectively think, as the train makes its final stop at the uppermost tip of Manhattan. The train glides to a stop...but the doors do not open.

Leon: "Hmm? C'mon! Open up already!"

The doors swing open--dozens of police officers and assorted men in bullet-proof vests are waiting on the platform, guns drawn.

Earthling screams and drops to the floor.

"And he's supposed to be the most balanced of all of us," Ricochet says as he raises his hands.

"In comparison to whom?" Monte follows suit, as do the others.

Nathan moves to draw his badge, "Gentlemen, ladies, I'm with..."

One officers screams, "MAKE A MOVE AND WE OPEN FIRE!!"

Leon grabs Nathan's arm, "Jesus, man! You don't EVER move to take anything outta your pockets with a cop aiming at you! They might think you got a gun!"

Baby Grace says out loud, "But Detective Adler DOES have a gun!"

"ON THE GROUND, NOW!" the officers scream!

Leon growls, "Thanks a lot, Grace." The Bowies lower to the cabin floor.

Grace: "An' Ramona has a gun, and Major Celliers and Newton, but he got only blanks..."


Grace: "An' knives. Everybody got knives."

Ramona springs from the floor and tackles Grace, ready to beat her into an (already) lifeless pulp, until...

BANG! BANG! BANG! Gun shots fill the cabin, and the Bowies, cowering on the floor, scream in horror. By design or miracle, no one is hit. Ramona freezes, stock still, hunched over Grace's curled-up form, as the police rush the cabin....
"Oh, how mortifying!!" Nana laments as the Bowies are shacked together by the wrists in a human (or quasi-human) chain. "Dragged away like criminals! I'll never hold my head up high again!"

Dory and Halloween Jack are pulled away on separate leashs, struggling to free themselves.

Dory: "Meow!! Please untie me! I haven't done anything wrrrong!"

Jack, muzzled: "Shut up, pussy! We're in enough trouble! C'mon, we ain't pets! Let us off these leashes!"

Tin reads the letters off the awaing paddywagon, "FBI?"

Yankee, "So you CAN read!"

Tin, "What the fuck has the FBI got to do with anything?"

Major Tom: "Aren't they the persons who deal with....paranormal matters?"

Zane: "Where are they taking us? Area 51?"

Berlin: "Is that in Arizona?"

Lord Byron: "I DON'T WANNA GO TO ARIZONA!! I wanna go home to the body!"

FBI agent: "Calm down! Just get in!" As the Bowies are loaded into three different wagons, one agent says to the other, "This is the wierdest case ever."

Agent #2: "Did you see that cat-person? I think those legs are real!"

Agent #1: "An' that naked guy with red-hair..."

The police chief interrupts them, "We wanna take these people downtown for questioning."

Agent #1, "No can do. This is way out of NYPD's league. I've got orders to take them to headquarters..."

Chief: "OUTTA OUR LEAGUE!!?? Listen son, we've dealt with serial killers, riots, terror attacks--you think we can't handle some costumed freaks???"

A female police officer, "Sir, phone call!" She hands the chief a cell phone...

Chief, " 'Ello? Your Honor!......Uh huh? But.....Yeah, I know it's wierd....wierder than the Elvis bank-robbers, I agree...But....Yes, sir...I understand....I'll tell them....Agent, the mayor," the chief hands the agents the phone.

Agent, "Your honor?.....I understand....alright, until we agree on something more suitable....thank you, sir."

Chief, "Bellevue."

Agent #1, "Psychiatric evaluation and tests--but just until we get this conflict resolved!"

Inside the wagons....

"Did you hear that?" Liza whispered.

Zane began to weep, "I don't wanna go to insane asylum!"

Screamin' Lord Byron, "At least it's not jail. Zane and I wouldn't last 5 minutes without being..."

Liza, "NO! Bellevue...that's where David is, right!"

Zane stopped weeping, "Oh yeah!! We can get back with our body!!

Major Celliers, "Not without the Duke, remember?"

Liza stomps on the floor, "Oh no! We were SO close!"

Major Celliers, "Earthling, you OK?"

Earthling was still trembing on the bench, "Guns...everywhere...straight at me...Americans...."

In another wagon, meant for carting away animals, Dory and Jack sat in small cages, sedated. The drivers talk to each other, "You see that dark cloud over the Cloisters?"

Driver #2, "Yep. Gonna rain."

Up in the cloisters, the Duke looks down from a window, watching the cars and trucks carry the Bowies away. His pleasure of seeing Aladdin and the others in chains, being taken away dissapeared as the sound of "Bellevue."

"Doesn't matter," the Duke thought, "They'll be locked up under guard and gun. They still won't get near the body. Besides, once David leaves tomorrow morning, he's mine!"

Don't understand me, just love me

(grinning soul)
12/21/01 01:26 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Busted! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

o my . . . . what a wonderful story going on.... i can't believe it.Very good Job, Kristin! Keep it coming!


red, white, and blue make light purple

(cracked actor)
12/26/01 03:47 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Busted! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

I love this Kristin! This story is just getting better and better...Please keep it coming.

This monster beauty is not eternal. - Apollinaire

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
01/25/02 02:15 AM
Splitting Headache--All the Madmen new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Bellevue...Psychiatric Emergency Department...The room is locked, armed police officers at the door, and nurses at the station behind glass watching their every move. Anything that can be used as a weapon--knives, guns, belts, suspenders, even Screamin' Lord Byron's turban!--has been confiscated.

Most of the Bowies are sitting quietly on the cushioned sofas (bolted to the wall, for safety reasons). Aladdin Sane, Zero, Grace, Dory, and Halloween Jack were taken somewhere else. But others have found ways to amuse themselves...

Nathan was staring into a room through a glass door, where Ramona was shackled to a bed, hand and foot, "Hmm...Ramona, leather restraints, heavy narcotics, padded walls...brings back memories of Berlin '77."

Once again, Earthling, Ricochet, Monte, Zane and Yankee sat around the floor, playing their usual card game. This time, Pierrot joined in to shuffle the cards.

Except their were no cards.

"Mime poker??" Ricochet asked. "How are we supposed to know who has what cards?"

Monte: "You're David Bowie--use your imagination."

Zane sulked: "Why did they take my cards anyway? Did they think I'd paper-cut them to death?"

Pierrot mimed dealing the cards.

"Just pretend this is our usual game," Earthling said, "OK, Pierrot, I'll take two cards, and I'll ante up two smokes," he 'mimed' two cigarrettes (the nurses took those away, too.)

"Oh, alright!" Ricochet sighed, "Gimme three cards, and I'll raise you two more smokes."

"I'll take three, too--and three smokes," Zane 'anted'.

Monte: "No cards--and I'll double ya!" He giggles.

"I fold," Yankee said.

Monte: "How can you fold??? It's mime poker!"

Yankee, "I never get good cards. Why pretend now?"

Monte: "Sigh...fine. What have you all got?"

Zane: "Three of a kind."

Earthling: "Four of a kind."

Ricochet: "Full house--Jacks on top."

Pierrot dejectedly presented a pair of twos.

Monte frowned, "Well, all I've got are...ROYAL STRAIGHT FLUSH! I win!!" he throws up his fists in the air, "I WIN!! I finally..."

"Wait a minute!" Ricochet protests, "I have three jacks, Pierrot says he has the other one...you can't have a straight royal!"

Monte: "Huh?"

Zane: "You stuffed the deck!"

Monte: "You're all such sore losers! It's mime poker, and if I say I've got a royal straight flush..."

Yankee: "Well, how about if I 'mime' shoving my foot up your arse for cheating!"

Earthling, "Mates, calm down!"

Zane: "Strip him!"

As Zane, Yankee, Ricochet, and Pierrot start to pile up on poor Monte, one of the nurses bursts in, "What is going on here?"

Earthling sheepishly replied, "Uh, we just playing a card game."

Veronica, from the side, "Yeah, mime strip poker!"

Liza, "Yeeeaaah, baby! Take it off!"

The fracas is over in seconds, with Monte in his birthday suit. The nurse glares, "Do I have to place you all in restraints??"

Liza: "Ooh, naked Bowie in restraints--add some strawberry jam and we have a party!"

Nana: "Liza, behave yourself!"

Earthling, "Iman! Save me from this madhouse!"
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the hospital, Earthling's aforementioned beauty was helping the current version. She brought with her a box of CD's and a walkman, in an attempt to jog her husband's memory. She also brought Lexie.

"...and this is 'Let's Dance,' your most successful album." She placed the CD in the walkman, as David listened on headphones.

David listened intently for a few minutes to "Modern Love." "Catchy," he says. "But are you sure I wrote this? It sounds like 'Tell Her.' Here, Lexie, luv," he lowers the volume to a volume suitable to a baby's tender ears and put the headphones on Lexie. The little girl bopped vigorously on her Daddy's lap.

"Good huh?" David sighs, "Daddy would sing it for you live, but..." He sighs heavily, "It's hopeless! I've listened to almost every album--I can't even remember a note!"

Duncan walks in, with a tray of coffee and doughnuts, "Dad, you won't believe what I saw downstairs!"
Moments earlier...

Duncan was lost. This place is a maze, he thought, OK, I'm sure I came from this corridor...or was it the one ten miles back....oh, shoot...

By accident, he was in some examination section of the hospital. There were police and strange men in black suits everywhere.

"Sir, this area is off-limits," an officer in front of double doors motioned to Duncan.

"I'm sorry, officer," Duncan said softly, "I was bringing coffee for my father, and I think I missed the elevators..."

"No problem," the officer nodded, "I get lost here all the time. This place is nuts, and now we just brought in a whole crop of crazies..."

Suddenly, the doors burst wide open, sending the officer flying into a wall. Duncan stood frozen as a pale, slender figure, seemingly painted in red, white and blue, flew through the doors, spinning in mid-air. Its red eyes, filled with fear and panic, locked on Duncan.

David's oldest child could not believe his own eyes.

"Oh Zowie!!" Aladdin Sane threw himself around Duncan's neck, as the young man narrowly missed spilling the content of the tray. "You have to help me! Where is your father? We are in great danger!"

An army of doctors, nurses and aides stormed through the door, pulling Aladdin roughly off Duncan. Two people each held an extremity, as Aladdin kicked and struggled against his captors, "NO NO LET ME GO!!! PLEASE!!"

Duncan stood stock still, his gaze frozen upon the painted creature's features. He watched its wild-eyes soften as the syringe full of Haldol, injected into its flank, took effect.

The officer lead Duncan away, asking if he was OK. He could barely hear the officer's words, as he watched the creature disappear into the inner sanctum of the examination room hall.
"And it was you!" Duncan said. "Your cheekbones, your nose, the spacing of your eyes, it was you in every detail!"

"Maybe it was just the make-up," Iman said, "There's lots of people who..."

"No, no! This proves it!" David said wide-eyed. "This proves I wasn't hallucinating. I can't explain why but...something very unnatural has happened to me."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
01/26/02 05:52 AM
Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As visiting hours come to a close, Duncan walks his step-mom and sister to the garage...

"It's not that I don't believe you or your father, Dun," Iman said, "but to believe there could be another David out there somewhere is a little hard to swallow..."

"Maybe," Duncan chuckles half-heartedly, "Maybe you're right...maybe I was imagining things. Dad's fans can get a little bonkers..."

In the dimly lit sub-basement of the garage..."Wait here, Iman," Duncan said, "I'll pull the car around." Duncan walked several rows of cars back to where the automobile waited. As he slid in and adjusted the seat (he is a bit taller than his parents), he couldn't stop thinking...or wondering...It did appear as if that 'Aladdin-Sane' bloke could fly...Nah! Duncan shook his head and pulled out of the space, but as he drove..But how did he recognize me? Even some of Dad's hardcore fans don't know what I look like.... As he pulled up the entrance...

"Iman? Lexie?" Both mother and child were missing...

"Iman?" Duncan shouted out of the window, but no answer. Lexie's baby bag had been dropped on the ground. Duncan abruptly parked the car where it stopped and jumped out of the car. He looked around--a feeling of panic came over him. It seemed so unlike Iman to just take off...

Against a pillar was a subway map, with darts aimed at northernmost Manhattan....
Now that it was nighttime, and the nurses were all busy at the station with their charts, David took the opportunity to investigate...

He put on some clothes--a T-shirt and a pair of black cargo-pants. He lookedcarefully to see if the hallways were clear, then snuck his way onto the elevators. If anyone asks, he's on his way downstairs to the smoking pavillion.

As the doors close, Duncan arrives on a different elevator, making a mad dash for his father's room.

"Dad!" Duncan bursts into his father's room--no one answers. He dashes to the nurse's desk, "Nurse, where's my father? He's not in his room..."
It was just past radiology, Dun said, David thought, if my faultier-than-usual memory serves me correctly. He walks the labrynthine hallways until...

"Psych E.R.?" David thinks. "No, that can't be right..."

"Can I help you, sir?" An armed guard asked briskly.

"Um...no...just looking," David smiled charmingly.

"Who are you??" The guard said curtly.

"Well...they say my name is David Bowie but..."

"How did YOU get out??" the guard roughly grabbed David by the arms before the man could react, "Geez, first you freaks try to bribe me with imaginary cigarettes, then you try to seduce me--males and females!--they oughta keep you guys chained to the wall!"

"B..b..but I..." David sputtered, confused and stunned, but before he can get out a coherent sentence, he is tossed into the locked room.

David's shock only increases once he sees the room's occupants...


To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
02/18/02 12:09 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow Kristin. I can't wait for more! this is sooo interesting!!

red,whiteand blue make light purple

(wild eyed peoploid)
03/08/02 01:00 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped! new [re: abe11825]  

r we gonna get n e more? It's so kewl!

red, white, and blue make light purple

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
03/12/02 10:29 PM
Coming soon... new [re: abe11825]  

Sorry...been kind of busy...

New chapter coming soon. Promise.

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
03/13/02 07:04 PM
Re: Coming soon... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

It's no problem. Take your time. we all have been busy. I just figured I speak up for the people who like it. It is real cool. So, Take you time. We just don't want you to forget us!

red, white, and blue make light purple

Kristin Machina
(crash course raver)
08/14/02 05:41 AM
Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Seven months and no chapter?! Shame on me!
Being thrown bodily into psychiatric lockdown was shock enough for the man known the world over as David Bowie. What the man found inside could have killed him...

"MASTER!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!" A flood of bodies engulfed David in a crushing embrace.

"Oh Master, we were so worried!!" Liza squealed.

"We wanna go home!" Yankee cried.

"I want my TVC15 back!!" Newton joined in, getting strange looks from the other personae.

"Urk!" David strained to regain his bearings and his breath.

"OK, OK mates," Earthling attempted the part the mob like Moses the Red Sea, "give the body some air!"

David look around him--faces much like his own, most of them quite a bit younger, staring right at him with looks of part concern, part jubilation. He did a slow 360 degree turn, studying each face, most of which he's seen in the mirror over the years. Then, the floor itself felt like it was doing a 360 on its own.

"Somebody get a chair!" Ricochet shouted as David's knees started to buckle.

Pierrot obeyed, but David landed on the floor anyway.

Ricochet sighed, "Pierrot, I meant a REAL chair."

Pierrot shrugged.

Nana knelt down, "Are you OK, dearie?" She delicately placed a hand on David shoulder, but he pulled away defensively.

"What's going on?" he breathlessly asked.

"Pardon me," Nathan stepped forward, "perhaps if you would take a seat on the sofas, we might be able to answer any inquiries at to this matter..."

Almost an hour passes, as each personae recounts the history of Suffragette City, and the events of the past couple of days...

"I can't believe it," David shakes his head.

"He doesn't believe us!!" Byron screamed, "WE'RE DOOMED!!"

"OH SHUT UP!!" the other Bowies holler.

"Everyone stop screaming!" Major Tom shouts.

"Wha'?" Algeria feebly pricks his ears, "Speak up!"

"Ow, my head..." David groans.

"THERE HE IS!!" the security guards, a doctor and a nurse come bursting through the door. "Mr. Jones! You shouldn't be here! Come back to the unit now!"

The Bowies surround David defensively. Leon sneers, "He ain't going nowhere! We're goin' back home!"

One guard whispers to the other, "Whoa...they DO all look like him."

"Yeah," the other guard whispers, "even the girls. Spooky."

"Please, let me through!!" Duncan squeezed his way past the guards.

"Sir, you can't be in here!" the nurse tried to block his way.

"Please, ma'am, he's my dad!"

"It's OK, Dun," David gently nudged the other persona to the side.

Duncan: "Dad, Iman and Lexie's gone."

David: "Gone?? What do you mean 'gone'?"

Duncan gave his father the map with a note written in red: "If not for yourself, then perhaps will you trade your foolish pride for the life of your bride?"

Duncan: "Dad, it's in your handwritting."

Zane growled, "The Duke."

Tin: "The fuckin' Duke!"

David: "That was the pale, sickly man who came into my room trying to get me to smoke again!"

"Er," Yankee spoke hesitantly, "that pale, sickly man was you, Boss, long time ago."

"Nevermind, Yank," Celliers shook his head, "David didn't remember being the Duke even before this all started!"

David clamped his fist, crumpling the map into a tight ball, fire flashing in his eyes, "He's got my wife and daughter! If he hurts them, I swear...." His teeth clenched in rage.

"Calm down, sir," the Detective Professor Adler said, "they're probably bait. He might not intend to hurt them..."

"But what about Jareth??" Zane said. "The Duke had no problem offing him!"

"We gotta get to the Cloisters, now!" the usually cool-and-composed Earthling was shaking, "He can't hurt them, he can't!!"

"Nobody's going anywhere!!" the doctor interjected. "Mr. Jones, these are obviously very sick people who are manipulating your feelings! Let the police find your family, now let's get you back upstairs." The guards grabbed David by the arm. Newton grabbed the other, "Let go! Leave him alone!"

The guards tried to wrestle David out of frantic alien's grip, but the others soon jumped in and grabbed hold of the body. A tug of war ensued!

"OW!! Stop it!!" David screamed, "I'm not a wishbone!"

Then, a storm of red and blue lightning lit up the corridors. In the midst of the mob scene, a figure dressed in full black with flaming red hair, red-and-blue tattoos and a cape appeared.

"Let...go...now!" Jareth's voice boomed out of Aladdin Sane's lithe body. The nurse fainted. The guards, shocked senseless, instantly released David's arm, sending the rock star tumbling on top of his selves.

"Laddie?" the Bowie stared in wonderment.

The doctor just stood there, trembling, "I've been working too many double shifts..."

David stood up, gracefully dusting himself off. He walked over cautiously to Aladdin. He stared at him, studying his features. He took in a breath of absolute wonder.

"Hi, Master," Aladdin, in his own voice, sweetly smiled.

After a long silence, David asked, "Did...did I really create you?"

Aladdin nodded.

David turned to the doctor, "Doctor, I know this is going to sound absolutely bonkers, but as you can clearly see, there are certain things in this world that simply cannot be explained. I've lost my memories-- these...people," gesturing to the Bowies, "remember everything I've lost in every detail. Now, I demand to be discharged immediately, as well as everyone in this room..."

"Yeeeeaaaahh!!" the Bowies cheered.

Aladdin (in Jareth's voice again): "I'd release Jack, Dory, and Gracie, too. They've been quite rude to us, poking and proding at us like cattle," his nose turned up indignantly.

"Zero, too!" Berlin said.

Jareth sighed, "Zero, too."

The doctor gulped hard, "I'll...work something out with the police...."

Don't understand me, just love me

(cracked actor)
08/14/02 05:54 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Never mind holding us in suspence for these seven months Kristen... It was worth the wait! This is my favouritre fanfic ever!

A ritual in search of a philosophy

(electric tomato)
08/14/02 09:52 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: decibel]  

I agree! See, she's using the fanfic as bait! to tease us! (j/k)

Osgood: Which of these instruments do you play?
Daphne: Bow fiddle.
Osgood: Oh, fascinating! Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?
Daphne: Most of the time, I slap it!

08/14/02 12:49 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Wow! I just read this for a first time, thanks to your last chapter that has brought it back there. And it's just amazing. You really can't complain about a lack of imagination (meant in a best of senses). Certainly, not everyone can write something like this. Just continue your great work straight to a great ending!

''Give your children moral and religious lessons only when you've made certain that they don't take them too seriously.''

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
11/09/02 07:03 AM
Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast new [re: Kristin Machina]  

The scene going up First Avenue would marvel most people, except New Yorkers, of course...

A calvacade of police cars and trucks blared up the avenue heading uptown, sirens flashing. It was quite a scene, but most locals barely raised an eyebrow.

The trucks carried about 6 Bowies each, while a separate car carried the host body and his son.

In one of the cars, Earthling writhed his hands, "I can't take it! I'm so worried about Iman and Lexie! They must be so frightened!"
Lexie was certain frightened, crying loudly on the stone floor of the Cloisters...

That was because her Mommy was beating the living crap out of her captor and screaming, "YOU STAY AWAY FROM US, YOU MONSTER!!"

The Thin White Duke had originally planned to hold the two hostage, yet there was a minor flaw. The Duke's newly acquired thirst for blood made him hunger for a taste of Bowie's wife, but an unexpectedly powerful right hook to the jaw proved that this was not an easy meal.

Enraged, the Duke lunged for her, but he suddenly remembered how Iman took self-defense classes (a requirement for a lady of importance living in the big city). Unfortunately, he remembered too late as Iman used his own momentum to fling him against a wall. Iman was a slender woman, but not as physically fragile as the Duke. His own skeletal frame made a dull thud as he hit the stone.

Taking advantage of the stunned Duke's condition, Iman scooped up her screaming daughter and ran for the door.

The Duke regained his bearings quickly, and sealed the doors--with the iron giant from the Goblin City Gates. The behemoth emerged from the iron doors and began to swing its axe.

Iman reeled back, but she was now trapped between the giant and the menacing wizard-vampire in front of her.

"Impressive," the Duke rubbed his sore, bruised jaw, "the bride of Bowie is not as easily cowed as I had previously believed."

Iman shook, but put on a brave face, "Don't kill my child."

The Duke clicked his tongue, "Oh I wouldn't DREAM of harming two beauties such as you," he said, every word as ice cold as his heart. "Not to worry, my dear, you are only the pawns in my game--and I am about to win! Your knight-in-shining-Armani is approaching, and is bringing his other little creations with him. With you in my possession, the body will surely surrender! I'll eliminate my lessers, and I will once again be in total control!"

Iman scowled, "I won't let David turn into a monster like you ever again!"

The Duke: "And how do you intend to stop me?"

Iman stood straight and tall, "We are his family. We won't allow you to win."

The Duke creeped closer, "And...what if...he HAD no family?"

Iman curled her fist and made another jab, but the Duke caught it in his icy grip. She winced as the Duke squeezed hard.

The Duke laughed flatly, humorously, "I'm not going to kill you...yet. Your deaths will only fuel his grief...and my strength."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 11/09/02 12:08 PM (server time).

11/10/02 01:32 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Yes! She's back!!!

Keep going!

Squeak squeak to you too

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
11/11/02 04:36 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

As the police cars pull up to the Cloisters...

"Dad?" Duncan asks.

"Yes, Dun?" David replies

"Are you going to go back to smoking?"

David sat quietly for a moment, staring at the castle, running a hand through his long hair, "I don't know. I just don't. I don't know how I'm going to get the Duke and the others back, but I can't worry about that right now. First, I've got to get Iman and Lexie back safely."

"You're right," Duncan nods, "but...once we do..and we WILL!...how are you going to go on without your memories?"

David thought back to the Duke's last visit in his room:

In reply to:

"...your body was not meant to go without cigarettes. Your vast creative powers were not meant to go without, either. It is up to you to restore the balance, restore your creativity, and resume the smoking."

The Duke's icy words swirl in David's half-vacant mind...

{quote]"I am the one who is preventing you from recovering your memories..."[/quote]

He's holding more than my family hostage...David thinks.

In reply to:

"You'll never remember any of your songs ever again. You can listen to your albums an infinite number of times and never remember a note. Thus, you'll never sing them again...

Is that so terrible?, David asks himself.

In reply to:

"You may never write or sing any other song, ever....What EVER will you do without that wonderful voice of ours?...You are a performer. If you can't perform, you are as good as dead..."[/"

That hurts David more than recovering his memories--being robbed of his future.

In reply to:

"Return to the cigarettes, David Bowie... Return to them, and all will be restored."

So he wants me to believe... David muses.

Never write again...?

A knock was heard on the car door. David snapped back to the present, turned and saw his "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence" self out the window.

The car had stopped, and Major Celliers opened the door, "Perhaps you ought to stay here, Sir. This could be rather dangerous."

"No!" David shook his head. "I need to confront the Duke myself. Duncan, you stay here."

"But...!" Duncan began to protest. "My baby sister's in there!"

Aladdin Sane approached, "The Duke wants us, Duncan--too many other people might aggravate him, and thus putting your mom and sister in more danger."

David said, "If I get into trouble, I'll call you..."

Duncan shouted, "Why? To identify the bodies? This is insane!"

"Duncan!!" David bellowed, and suddenly the 30-year-old was put right back into his place. "I'm sorry I raised my voice, but please trust me. I have a plan."

"You do?" Major Celliers and Aladdin/Jareth said in unison.

David smiled mischieviously, "Officer, do you have a spare pad and pencil I can borrow?"

Meanwhile, as the other Bowie disembark the trucks, Earthling flies out like a Union Jack in a storm, "I'm coming, Iman!! Let's go!" He barely makes it five strides when Major Tom and Detective Adler grab him by the arms.

"Whoa, kid!" Nathan says, "Don't go runnin' in there half-cocked!"

Earthling panted, "He's going to do something terrible to her, I just know it!"

Major Tom says, "I've never seen you this upset. You're usually the most calm, rational Bowie in his head."

Earthling glares at the astronaut, "Rarely is it that my family is in mortal danger, Major!"

Leon approaches, "The cops wouldn't give us back our knives."

Nathan: "Doesn't matter, anyway. Can't kill 'im. Won't do much good against a sorceror. We need to come up with a more rational solution."

Yankee appears, "And if rational doesn't work, the Duke will face my flying fists of fury!!" The tangerine-haired soulboy punches the air in a flurry.

Ricochet rolls his eyes, "I'd better keep close to him, for Yank's sake."

The Cloisters had undergone a radical transformation. A dark cloud hovered overhead. The walls were now ebony black, just like the Duke's own castle back in Suffragette City. The police approached the entrance, guns drawn. Over a bullhorn, the chief bellows: "OPEN UP!! THIS IS THE NYPD! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"

Suddenly, a peal of lightning, strikes a patrol car, sending the officers flying back. An ominous voice booms from within the castle: "Only the body and his doppelgangers! No one else is permitted to enter!" Just to emphasize the Duke's demand, the Iron Giant materializes at the gates, axe drawn.

David said, "It's alright, officers--let us go in by ourselves."

"But, sir, you could get hurt!" the chief protested.

"No choice," David shrugged.

The chief sighed heavily, "The Department just didn't train us for this wierd shit. Call us if there is trouble!"

David nodded, and the gates opened behind the giant.

The twenty Bowies, past and present cautiously walked in...

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 11/11/02 05:25 AM (server time).

(stardust savant)
11/20/02 08:48 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

nice, very nice, i love where the story is going...and i cant wait to see what Davids plan was that he needed teh piece of paper for....interesting! missed your work and you kristin dear! i will certinally get to work on some drawings for you when i return to the states and bordom. ciao, starbuck

“World Domination has encountered a momentary setback. Talk amongst yourselves.”

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/11/03 03:19 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

No sooner had all the Bowies entered that the gates slammed behind them, throwing them all in pitch darkness.


Tin: "For fuck's sake, stop screamin', Byron."

Newton: "AAH! I felt a snake crawl past my leg!"

Dory: "Meow, that's my tail."

Newton: "Oops, sorry."

David Bowie: "Everyone calm down! Anyone got a flashlight? Or a cig lighter?"

Berlin: "The cops took those, too."

"I've got something better," Aladdin extended his arm, and a ball of light materialized in his hand. The genie/goblin gently blew and the ball levitated upwards, illuminating what lay before them.

Whatever was inside the Cloisters before was gone. Now, the Eicher room snarled and twisted before their eyes.

Byron: "I'm dizzy..."

Ricochet: "Pull it together, man!"

David took a deep breath, "Alright then...I think if we all just stayed together, we won't get lost. Let's go..." David looks around carefully, "that way," and points forward.

"Wait, Master," Zero steps aside and unfurls his wings. Imbedded within the gold spokes were...

"Our knives!" the Bowie gasped.

Nathan: "Whoa, how did you..."

Zero: "Leon stuck them in here."

The detective/professor looks at Leon Blank, "I'm not even gonna ask. Ahem...nice job."

Leon nods politely, "Anyone else want their lighters back?" He opens his jacket and reveals them in the inner lining.

Re-equipped, the Bowies follow their body forward. As one serpentine chain, they carefully climb the twisting staircase. David makes sharp left turn and arrives at a open landing--no stairs, just a slab jutting outwards.

"Dead end," David starts to turn around, "Let's..." but no one was behind him.

"What!?" David looks around in a panic. He tries to backtrack his steps, looks around the corner for the downward staircase.

But there is no downward staircase. Only one in front of him that goes up. With no other direction to go, and completely confused, David climbs upward. He comes to a four-way crossing and runs into Major Tom and Pierrot.

David: "Hey! I thought I told you lot to stay together!"

Major: "We tried...you didn't walk through a wall, did you?"

David: "What?"

Major: "You couldn't have turned left. The only way to go was right. Before we knew it, we're all split up."

David shakes his head: "In less than a minute? Someone's messing with our heads."

Pierrot mines being boxed in by four walls.

Major: "The walls are moving around."

David: "Perhaps it's better we spread out...cover more ground."

Major: "Here," he hands David a communication device from Boz, "call us if you find the Duke."

David: "Right, good luck! Careful, you two!" And off they went in separate directions.

Elsewhere in the Labryinth...

Zero had gotten tired of climbing stairs, "Perhaps if I just fly overhead, I'd have a better idea of where I'm going." He flapped his wings and launched off an overhang. Looking down, he saw a dizzing view--Bowie ascending and descending staircases, some right side up, some upside down. Zero looked up and saw more of the same. It was impossible to determine what was ceiling and what was ground. He couldn't even see the entrance. Suddenly, he felt a loss of equilibrium--was he flying upside down or right side up. Zero tried flying in one direction, but felt like he was falling instead, plunging at a great speed. He flipped around again, and tried the opposite direction, but again, instead of that rising sensation--the struggle agaist gravity--it felt as if gravity was pulling him down, no matter where he turned.

Zero felt dizzy, a tremendous feeling of vertigo came over him, and he passed out, tumbling down...or up...or sideways...or...

Someone caught him in mid-fall. Zero's head felt like it had been in a washing machine--he couldn't see straight..."Who...?"

"Easy, child," a voice was heard, "Close your eyes...you're safe...go back to your eternal slumber..." Zero's eyes fluttered open in horror as a pair of teeth sank into his neck. Soon, Zero's dizziness faded away into nothing....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(electric tomato)
03/11/03 07:41 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Argh, I started reading this when it still was brand new - so, so long ago it seems, and then went away for half an eternity... There's a lot of catching up to do. Nice to see where the story has gone though!

Addicted to compliments (and Alan Rickman).

03/11/03 07:45 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Paddy-chan]  

Oh yesss. I still have a lot of catching up to do as well. So great to see this story alive and kicking...

..and while I'm here, I have to ask - can I please please please archive this masterpiece on GGP where it can arrange slumber parties with Phoenix's stories?

"My dagger was the most beautiful dagger I had ever seen in my life. "

(stardust savant)
03/11/03 06:16 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

woo hoo! Kristin back in action :) lovely to see you still working on it. i was just about to ask you the other day if you were gonna add to it soon. good to have ya back dear! and, i have done some drawings, but THAT BLASTED SCANNER! ehrm..sorry, im having technical difficulties :( starbuck

“Un bacio proibito brucia piu del fuoco.”

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/12/03 10:53 AM
Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b) new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Aladdin turns a corner just in time to see a shadowy figure with gold specks take off down another corridor, leaving behind Zero's twisted form.

"NO!!" the genie cries out, as he cradles Zero's body, just as he had in the main square.

Within Aladdin's mind, Jareth chuckles, "Ha ha...can't save him this time, little genie. The Duke's sucked him dry!"

Aladdin instead reopened the gash mark on his hand and placed in on Zero's throat. Zero's form dissolved into gold dust, and Aladdin now had strands of gold in his own wild mane.

Jareth: "He's using my Labyrinth to split us up..."

"...and pick us off one by one," Aladdin spoke darkly, "Let's make haste before he strikes again."

"There's no hope," Jareth spoke in Aladdin's mind, "You'll never solve the Labryinth until The Duke has killed all of your friends."

Aladdin snapped out loud: "Then what good are YOU??!! Help me, damnit!"

Jareth: "Alright, first rule: No flying. There is no up or down in this place. As evidenced by Zero's fatal folly."


Ricochet wasn't sure how long he'd been climbing stairs...minutes...hours...but from around a corner he'd heard a blood-curdling scream. He turned left at a rounded curve, but found out very quickly that he was running around in a complete circle. Confused, he turned around...

...and found the Chorus girls bound to a giant cobweb, motionless, with puncture marks on their necks. Ricochet dropped to his knees in horror and grief, "Oh Liza...Veronica...Nana...even in this place, you've managed to stick together 'till the bitter end." Creeping behind him was the shadowy figure.

Ricochet sensed something in his periphery and quickly dodged as the figure made a lunge at him. The figure was indeed a shadow, almost transparent with a few specks of gold.

In a fit of rage, Ricochet tore off his coat, rolled down his suspenders and rolled up his sleeves, curling his fists: "Come and get me, bitch!"

Cackling, the shadow assumed a similar fighting stance, and the two began to exchange blows. Unfortunately, as Ricochet found out, sparring with a skinny coked-out youth was one thing--battling a ghost was entirely another. The blond pop-star's fists passed through the shadow like smoke.

Not so with the shadow's fists--the whispy figure, with one solid right hook, sent Ricochet flying into a wall, cracking his spine. Unable to move, Ricochet could only scream weakly as teeth sank into his jugular...

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/14/03 08:00 AM
Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion new [re: Kristin Machina]  

David stopped every so often, unfolded his piece of paper, and feverishly scribbled down something, occasionally going back to erase or cross out a word or phrase. He refolded the paper, put it in his pocket and kept walking, stopping cold as screams intermittently echoed across the Labryinth. Regathering his nerve, he kept walking...

Elsewhere, the situation seemed grimmer, as Aladdin collected more remains of his fallen counterparts. He wrapped his shimmery, polka-dotted cape around his thin frame, as he leaned against a wall in near exhaustion. Aladdin ran a hand through his long red hair, which now included a few gold strands and two blond ringlets around his face.

"Get up!" Jareth shouted in his head. "We are almost there."

"Shut up," Zero spoke from within, "He's exhausted!"

Jareth: "How dare you...!"

Ricochet: "Shut up!"

Liza and Veronica: "The three of you shut up!"

Nana: "Girls!"

Aladdin screamed: "EVERYONE IN THERE SHUT UP!!!" The voices in his head fell silent. Aladdin Sane felt like he was living up to his name. "I need to think quietly for a moment."

Liza: "...Aladdin?"

Aladdin sighed, exasperated: "What?"

Liza: "At least we're all together again, right?"

Aladdin said nothing as he heard yet another scream.
David stopped yet again to scribble against a wall. He jumped yet again at another howl.
"Murderess!!" Detective Adler drew his gun upon Ramona, as she stood over the bodies of Algeria, Leon and Grace.

"You fool! I found them like this!!" Ramona snarled at the Detective, and drew her own knive. To her surprise, it had bright red blood on it.

Ramona: "Eh? What in Bowie's mind..."

Nathan: "I knew it! This looks like your suicide-murder rituals!" The bodies all had superficial cuts on their faces, like tribal tatoos. They were lying in a perfect circle. "You're still workin' for the Duke!!

Ramona: "You stupid fat little fuck! The Duke is more powerful than ever! He's gathering the energies of all the Bowies so that he will rule his mind unopposed. He will become the Ultimate Ego, and he will compose the greatest masterpiece the Body and the world will ever know! He shall be our new Messiah!"

Nathan: "Like Ziggy? Wait a minute...that magician said Ziggy was split into a bunch o' pieces, and we're sorta like those pieces." The detective/inspector chuckled, "Holy shit. He's trying to become..."

Nathan didn't have time to complete his thought, as a arm from behind snapped his neck and teeth sank into his neck.

The Thin White Duke, his lips bright red with blood, stared at the woman intensely.

"I believe you are a free woman now, Ramona my sweet. I have eliminated these albatrosses around your neck," the Duke slithered towards her.

"A pity," Ramona said, "They were fun for a while--but don't 'my sweet' me, you bastard!" She gave the Duke a hearty shove at the shoulders, "You dumped me with these heathens on Lexington Avenue!"

The Duke: "I knew you'd lead them here..."

Ramona: "...like lambs to the slaughter."

The Duke: "Mere food for higher life forms like us, my dark descendant." He circled around her closely. "I had to let them believe I've abandoned you so they would let you into their circle--take pity on you, even trust you. How gullible Ziggy's children are. You've performed your task beautifully, my sweet."

"And the hospital?" Ramona asked.

The Duke grazed her neck with his cold, spindly fingers, "A minor distraction I did not plan on, but worked well anyway in my plan."

"The others are still lost in the maze, looking for the wife and brat. They are only working to postpone the inevitable," Ramona said.

"Now my sweet," the Duke wrapped his arms around Ramona, "are you ready to create the ultimate masterpiece?"

"Yesss," Ramona hissed, "With you by my side, we shall rule them all."

"I didn't say you'd be by my side," the Duke ripped into Ramona's throat and lay her writhing body underneath him. The high-pitched gurgling cries echoed through the halls as the Duke drank her essence. In the last spasms of pain and ectasy, Ramona pulled at the Duke's hair, then released her grip, lying Christ-like in her circle of Outsiders.

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
03/14/03 08:52 AM
Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Always a minute too late, Aladdin gathers the bodies of the Outsiders into himself, "I know what the Duke is trying to do."
David writes more on his paper.
"FUCK!!" Tin's last word escapes his lips as he is drained...
"The question is...does the Duke realize what he is doing?" Aladdin asks as grey and black mix with his hair, and his once flawless skin is marred by long hideous scars and razor-like cuts.
"Please go away," Screamin' Lord Byron cowers helplessly as his death looms over him.
"All the pieces coming together," Aladdin thinks to himself. "Our energies returning to me and the Duke."

From within his mind, Veronica: "So how come the Duke isn't absorbing all of us?"

Jareth: "He can only absorb what is his. Some have more Duke in them than others. Still one cannot exist without both parts."
Something violently grabs Zane's hair from behind as he is dragged into the shadows...
"I've no time to grieve," Aladdin absorbs Byron's body, as his now stubbly face goes blank as stone. "It is not necessary." A scarf now wraps around his neck. "Still, if the Duke completes his feast, he may still by more powerful than I."
Boz floats through the hallways, trying to calculate his path. "Query...Error..this-does-not-compute. Variables-keep-changing. I-am-lost."

An electrical charge strikes Boz over the head, scrambling his circuits, "WARNING! WARNING! MAL-FUN-CTION...." The living computer program collapses into a pile of wires and chips.

A metal hand pick up the pieces, as they absorb into it, forming a new piece of machinery. A distorted voice cackles.
David taps on the walls, gathering a rhythm...
"But I must continue," Aladdin sadly picks up the body of Zane, "I'm starting to feel stronger..."
"I'm so tired of these stairs," Newton deliriously staggers up the stairs. "Won't you carry me...Mary Lou...like you did when we met..."

Just as Newton was about to collapse, he sees...

"A door!" Newton shouts weakly, "I found a door!" Newton calls over his communicator, "I found a door! I think the Duke's inside!" Newton bangs on the iron door, "Open up! Give us back David's wife and child!"

The door slides open, but it's pitch black inside. Drawing his gun (which he knows has no real bullets but hopes the noise will scare anything off), he slowly steps inside.

"Hello?" Newton calls out, but there's no answer. Instead the door slides shut, leaving the alien in absolute darkness. Then, a strangely familiar and sickening feeling of rising upwards.

"OH NO! I'm in an elevator!!" Newton screams. "Let me out!! Let me out...oh...I'm getting dizzy..." Something inside his head felt like it popped as Newton collapsed onto the floor. He never saw the other passenger, who was about to eat him...

To be continued....

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 03/14/03 09:09 AM (server time).

(stardust savant)
03/15/03 09:35 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

distrubing, and i like it! kisses to you dear :) starbuck

“Un bacio proibito brucia piu del fuoco.”

(mortal with potential)
03/16/03 04:18 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b) new [re: Kristin Machina]  

please go on, you simply can't stop. Waiting...

(crash course raver)
03/18/03 10:17 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Awesome, Kristin! She's Baa-AA-ack!!! Now that I've seen Man Who Fell To Earth, I unsderstand the Newton References!

My karma ran over your dogma...

...damn fucking dog!!!

(wild eyed peoploid)
03/29/03 00:50 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Very cool. And very amusing. *thumbs up*

~It's not the side effects of the cocaine
I'm thinking that it must be love...~

04/04/03 07:35 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II new [re: revidescent]  

*rubs bleary eyes*

I finally started archiving Splitting Headache at Glam Genome Project tonight...took me three hours to do the ten first chapters. Even with as much cut-and-paste as possible it's still a big load of work.
So...this is going to take a while. Ye gods, I still have tons of Pop Goes The God chapters to put up too!

Not your senorita

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
04/07/03 06:51 PM
Much appreciated! new [re: SugarPlumFairy]  

In reply to:

I finally started archiving Splitting Headache at Glam Genome Project tonight...took me three hours to do the ten first chapters. Even with as much cut-and-paste as possible it's still a big load of work.
So...this is going to take a while.

And I very much appreciate it, Sugar! *glomps her gently*

Don't understand me, just love me

(grinning soul)
04/14/03 02:06 PM
Re: Much appreciated! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

still waiting for a conclusion
what's taking you so long, dear.

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
07/22/03 01:02 AM
Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Yankee cautiously slid along the walls of the maze, searching for a possible hidden door. His long, skinny legs trembled under his trousers.

He let out a yelp of surprise, as he felt some cold and metallic open under his palms.

"An elevator?" Yankee asked himself, as the lift doors creaked open. All that can be found inside was a silver revolver.

"Newton's gun?" Yankee gasped. "He'd never leave that lying around." He quickly grabbed the gun, slid it under his suspenders, but as soon as he did this, the lift doors slammed shut. The elevator speed upwards, sending the wobbly Yankee to the floor. Terrified, he squeezed his eyes shut...

Then, a bell rang, and the lift doors opened. Yankee barreled out into a long, dark hallway, lit in slits of white light at rare intervals. At the end stood a platnium blond figure dressed in black.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Yankee brandished Thomas' gun, running down the hallway.

The figure spun around, and although his face was completely cloaked in shadow, he bellowed in a deep, smoky voice, "Yankee, halt!"

Yankee, remembering Newton's gun only held blanks, tried to psych the Duke out by firing a round towards his chest.


Except there were no blanks.

And that wasn't the Duke. As soon as the gunshot rang out, the figure's hair turned orange. Earthling gurgled, clutching his bleeding chest, as he slumped downwards.

"EARTHLING! NOOO!" Yankee dropped the gun and rushed to his friend's side. Yankee sobbed, "I..I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean to..."

Earthling, gasping for breath, managed a chuckle, "I...always thought...I'd meet...my end...by a young american..." Then one last gasp and...

"NO! No no no!" Yankee screamed, "Don't die! Please..."

"Traitor..." a voice hissed behind him, as Yankee's suspenders were torn from him and wrapped around his neck. It was Yankee's turn to gasp for air, as blue eyes burned above him, bearing a cruel sneer...

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
07/22/03 02:11 AM
Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"Pierrot, slow down!" Major Tom yelled after the harlequin as it bounced down the hallways, "We don't know what's..."

Pierrot stumbled upon a garden courtyard. In the middle of the garden was a black pond, with a door sitting in the middle of a small island.

"...ahead?" Major Tom looked on in amazement. "Well, I guess we have no choice but to swim for it!"

Pierrot shook his head, bells jingling.

"That's right!" Major Tom tapped his space-helmet, "I forgot! Your special ability is to walk on water!"

Pierrot nodded his head, bells jingling again. The mime hoisted the astronaut on his back and carefully placed one foot on the water's surface. Once secure in his footing, Pierrot proceeded to carry Major Tom, heavily armored in his spacesuit, across the pond.

"You know, this is probably some old reflecting pool," Major Tom thought out loud, "Only a few inches deep."

Pierrot looked down at his feet. Just under the surface, something green and mossy loomed in the murky pond water. The shape came into focus, and blue-green eyes stared back at Pierrot...

Pierrot let out a silent scream and, in a state of horror, dropped Major Tom. Major sank beneath the water like a stone, the pond much, much deeper than the astronaut presumed. Pierrot dove into the pond, grabbed Major under the arms and kicked to the surface.
To the pair's shock and horror, the surface became as hard as glass. Major and Pierrot pounded with their fists, but could not break the invisible barrier. Major's suit came with a built-in oxygen tank, but Pierrot's painted face was turning blue. Major Tom popped off one of his 2 oxygen tubing lines and put it to Pierrot's face. Pierrot tried to breathe in, but was hyperventilating in the process. Major Tom felt himself sink further into the black abyss, as Pierrot pulled him up to the surface. Minutes passed like hours, until Major's oxygen supply was completely depleted. Pierrot sank into Major's arms, as Major sank to the mossy bottom. Under his feet, Major could barely make out the pale, lifeless face of Berlin, wrapped completely in mossy vines, up to his eyes. Major desperately pulled out his knife and tried to cut Berlin's body free. As the vines deteriorated under his hands, so apparently did Berlin. Pierrot, too, vanished.

And Major Tom, once again, felt himself suspended in utter blackness. Cold and dark, like space. His last sensation was something lifting his helmet as Major murmured, "...tell my wife I love her very much."

Don't understand me, just love me

(stardust savant)
07/22/03 12:37 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV new [re: Kristin Machina]  

warped indeed! damn kristin, you should win an award for this story!!! I LOVE YOU! starbuck

“Un bacio proibito brucia piu del fuoco.”

(cracked actor)
07/22/03 06:39 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III new [re: Kristin Machina]  

That was very intertaining! D'you have any more coming?


Come on fallen star, I refuse to let you die

(mortal with potential)
07/25/03 01:47 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV new [re: Kristin Machina]  

I've spent hours up reading the whole thing.....I NEED you to finish this soon....i can't wait that long :) I was hoping you'd have ended it by page 10, but, no.....i'm left in the suspense of near compleation. I think that this should definately be published....i'd buy a copy in seconds. I need this like Merry-Lou (Betty Jo in the book) needs gin. haha....but I guess i'll try to cut down....just hurry up and add some more....i can't wait for the next chapter. Keep them coming at a VERY fast pace, please! I don't know how many days i can make it without knowing how it ends ;). it's lovely story, doll. I think all people that truely understand Bowie have a little bit of Ziggy in them. I'd like to believe that i'm one of those lucky few, but that will all be tested in time, i suppose. Keep writing, love!

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
07/30/03 09:45 AM
Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V new [re: Kristin Machina]  

David sits cross-legged against a wall, his feet aching from what felt like miles of walking. As one hand massages his burning toes, the other finishes a verse...

"I hope it's enough..." David sighs.
Meanwhile, Aladdin wades knee deep in a shallow black pool, dragging Major Tom's body to the pavement. His pale ashen face is already marked with Pierrot's distintive make-up. Just as he is about to reach the edge, his foot catches on something heavy and he falls hard, face down into the water. Aladdin, weary and tired and anguished, crawls back to the edge, dumps Major's body on the ground, turns around and pulls out a heavy canvas bag out of the water.

Aladdin unties the bag. There--bound and gagged like a Houdini trick gone wrong--was Monti's body.

Jareth, within Aladdin's head, clicks his tongue, "They really ought to leave magic to the experts."

Aladdin screams, "That's not funny, Jareth!!" He absorbs Monti and Major Tom's body into himself. "Only Celliers, Halloween Jack and Dory are out there now. They're going to die, too, and there's nothing I can do to save them."

Jareth: "I'm glad you've finally got a grip on reality, Aladdin."
Major Celliers, looking down his rifle, stalks the corridors, finger resting on the trigger. He approaches a four-way intersection.

Then, two distinct howls could be heard coming from one direction. One a Diamond Dog's howl, another a sphinx's yelp.

"JACK!! DORY!!" Major Celliers calls out. A blur of yellow fur shoots across Jacques from right to left, followed by another red and black furry blur.

"Come now! This is no time for your 'dog-and-cat' chase!!" Celliers runs after the two, down a long path of twisting corridors. The howls grow louder and more menacing. Celliers is running as fast as his army boots and gun can allow him.

At a dead end, a large dog-like creature has its jaws buried deep into Dory's neck. The cat mews helplessly as it slips away into oblivion.

"NO!!" Celliers aims his gun and fires a round into the dog's back.

PING! The sound of lead hitting metal resounds in the halls. Just before the bullet hit the creature, the dog's skin turned into thick metal, deflecting the shot!

The dog slowly stands up, and morphs into its true form...

"The Duke!!" Celliers' clenches his teeth. He pulls his trigger a few more times, but the Dukes raises his hand, creating a protective wall in front of him. None of the bullets even touch him!

"How anti-climatic that my last opponent before Aladdin must be a mere 'movie Bowie'," the Duke sneered. Major Celliers was frozen in place.

"What are you going to do now, Major," the Duke arched his eyebrows, "kiss me? Unlike before, it won't save your friends. Like before, it won't save YOU!"

"I can still crack your head wide open with the butt of my rifle!" Major Celliers swings it over his shoulder.

"Then come at me," the Duke wiggles his finger, "if you're stupid enough to think you'll kill me!"

Major makes a lunge at the Duke, but his foot sinks into something soft. The sand-colored floors of the maze suddenly turn into...

"Quicksand!" Celliers drops the gun and tries to pry his legs free, but he sinks further and quicker.

The Duke: "At least Hunky Dory was good for something..." He coldly watches as the soldier desperately sinks into the sand. Every nightmare Celliers ever had--being buried alive, slowly suffocating, his childhood failures--all rushed back as he made one last gasp of air. Then, just as he got neck deep, he stopped sinking. Major Celliers looked up, as the Duke stooped down, grabbing a fistful of hair.

"Since I know you enjoy this," the Duke kissed the Major's left cheek. Then his right. Then his pulled his head back and sank in his teeth....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(grinning soul)
07/30/03 01:07 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V new [re: Kristin Machina]  

every chapter has been AMAZING! I was so excited when I saw your post up high on the "new posts"! I couldn't wait to read it ;) Now, I can't wait to see what happens! Please try to get this published!!!!

(cracked actor)
07/30/03 05:50 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Hahaha that was great, can't wait to read some more!


You're such a wonderful person
But you got problems

(grinning soul)
08/09/03 06:18 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Hello??? Where are you??? I'm dying here......TOO.......MUCH.......SUSPENSE!!!!!! I'm really needing a new chapter, here.....PLEASE don't wait 7months or anything ;)

"Did you ever see that episode of The Twilight Zone where this guy signed a contract, and they cut out his tounge and put it in a jar, and it didn't die...it just kept growing and pulsating and it gave birth to baby tounges?" ~Garth Algar

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
08/15/03 04:39 PM
Splitting Headache--Blackout new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Author's note: Due to a major power outtage, this will be a short chapter (hence the title). I did promise a new chapter, though, so here we go...
After several hours of walking, David Bowie turns a corner to find himself...

...right at the beginning of the maze.

"What the HELL is this??" David throws up his hands in utter exasperation. He plops onto the floor, sitting cross-legged, massaging his tired feet. Around the corner, he hears heavy breathing.

David quickly rises to a croutching position, "WHO'S THERE??" He shouts towards the staggering figure, emerging from the shadows.

"Master!" Aladdin Sane collapses near Bowie's feet.

David picks up the odd-looking being, "You look awful."

Aladdin: "I feel no better. Have you seen the Duke?"

David: "No. You're the first persona I've seen since we split up. What was all that screaming I heard?"

Tears welled in Aladdin's eyes, "Everyone's dead. The Duke killed them all, stole their energy and I've been carrying their remains within myself. You and I are alone against the Duke."

David tries to comfort the genie, as he spies a pair of heavy metal doors, "I wonder..." Bowie lets go of Aladdin and walks toward the doors.

Aladdin: "No, Master! That's the entrance! We'll be walking out!"

Bowie heard, but made like he didn't listen as he pushed the doors wide open...

Behind the doors was a dark room, with the Thin White Duke sitting on his throne. Iman and Lexie knelt at the foot of the throne, shackled at the feet.

"DAVID!!" Iman called out to David, as he ran towards his family in huge relief. Aladdin Sane flew after him. A flash of lightning stopped them both in his stride.

"I'm happy to see you've finally made it, 'Master'", the Duke sneered on the last word, "you too, Aladdin. Was my maze challenging enough?"

"You bastard!!" Aladdin screamed. "You've killed everyone!!"

"They were weak!" The Duke scowled, "Anyone foolish to fall for my traps deserved to die. And now, David Bowie shall see who is truly the superior ego...with Aladdin Sane's death!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(grinning soul)
08/15/03 06:09 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Blackout new [re: Kristin Machina]  

oooohoooooo.....and the plot thickens..... ;)

"Did you ever see that episode of The Twilight Zone where this guy signed a contract, and they cut out his tounge and put it in a jar, and it didn't die...it just kept growing and pulsating and it gave birth to baby tounges?" ~Garth Algar

Kristin Machina
(cracked actor)
08/29/03 01:37 AM
Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

"You want me, Duke?" Aladdin whips back his multi-colored cape back, "come and get me!"

Bowie takes Aladdin by the hand, "Easy, Lad."

The Duke wags his finger, "Ah, no, no, no my little genie. You're still too strong for me to kill. Otherwise, I would have drank your blood before I killed the others. I need their energies just so I, alone will stand as the ultimate ego."

"You're making no sense, Duke." Aladdin shakes his head. "What are you going to do now?"

The Duke grabs Iman and pulls her by the wrists off the floor, "I am going to destroy Bowie's last source of happiness--the last obstacle to true miserable brilliance!" Suddenly, three extra pairs of arms sprout from the Duke, like a black widow spider. The arms pull Iman, struggling for dear life, towards the Duke, as the wizard bares his ivory white fangs.

David screams: "IMAN!!"

Aladdin starts to hurl a thunderbolt, "Let her go!!"

Behind Lexie looms a dark glass spider, fangs ready to snap her little neck.

The Duke booms, "Strike at me, genie and the little girl dies!!"

Aladdin's knees buckle under him in fatigue and confusion. Then, he notices that in the hand that David held him by, is a piece of paper. Aladdin unfurls it and reads...

The Duke: "What is that? Give it to me!!"

The paper incinerates in Aladdin's hand. Aladdin glares back defiantly.

The Duke: "Fine, you stubborn idiot! Goodbye!" The Duke lunges for Iman's throat and she starts to scream...

"Nothing remains..."

A voice is heard singing.

"We could run when the rain slows..."

But it's not the Duke singing...

"Look for the cars or signs of life
Where the heat goes...

Nor is it Aladdin Sane's.

"Look for the drifters
We should crawl under the bracken...

It is David Bowie's voice. The real David Bowie.

"Look for the shafts of light
On the road where the heat goes...
Everything has changed....

The Duke whispers, "No..."

David sings in a clear, powerful voice:
"For in truth, it's the beginning of nothing
And nothing has changed
Everything has changed...

The glass spider behind Lexie shattered, the babe utterly unharmed.

"For in truth, it's the beginning of an end..."

Aladdin's mottled form shimmers and separates into several persona

"And nothing has changed..."

The ghostly forms of the fallen Bowies encircle the room...
"Everything has changed..."

Bowie sings:
"In your fear
Of what we have become...

Aladdin and the ghost chant in unison with Bowie's voice:
"In your fear
Seek only peace...

Bowie sings:
"Take to the fire
Now we must burn

Aladdin and the ghosts:
"In your fear
Seek only love

The Duke shakes in terror, "No, STOP IT!!" He drops Iman as she slides away.

Bowie advances to the Duke:
"All that we are..."

Aladdin and the ghosts:
"In your fear
Seek only peace"

Bowie raises his hands: "Rise together"

The ghost chant:
"In your fear
Seek only love

Bowie: "Through these clouds..."

The clouds outside the Cloister begin to dispurse...

Aladdin and the Ghosts: "In your fear..In your fear..."

Bowie, the ghost and Aladdin unite: "As on wings..."


Bowie stands over the Duke, like the victor over the vanquished,"This is the trip
And this is the business we take
This is our number
All my trials
Lord, will be remembered...

Bowie flings the Gitanes in the Dukes face...

"Everything has changed.....!! On the last word, Bowie's voice soars mightily into a note a smoker would be hard to perform.

The Duke, losing all dignity, lunges at his own body in animal rage, "I'LL KILL YOU!! I'll FUCKING KILL YOU!!"

Aladdin pulls him off David and flings the Duke into the wall of ghost, who send him bouncing back to the center of the ring. Aladdin hoists the Duke by the lapels, "You lose. The body can survive without cigarettes, and write, and sing! So just give up!"

The Duke was beyond reasoning, and smacked Aladdin full in the face..."I may not kill the body, or his family, but I'll still destroy you!!"

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
08/29/03 05:00 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

YAY! VICTORY! (or so we think....hmmm...)

"I'm not a scientist, but I know all things begin and end in eternity."

(cracked actor)
09/01/03 00:07 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I new [re: Kristin Machina]  

That was really good! Looking forward to the next one.


There will always be a space in my parking lot
When you need a little coke and sympathy

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
09/23/03 10:07 AM
Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Aladdin's arm turns into gold, like Zero's and whacks the Duke clear across his face. The Duke is sent flying back.

"Master, get clear!" Aladdin calls out as David runs to his family's side, outside the circle of ghosts.

The Thin White Duke bares his fangs, bloodied by the blow, as he prepares to toss a handful of magic darts. He flings them, but Aladdin sprouts a pair of Zero's wings and blocks the darts.

The Duke absorbed Zero's powers as well--he spins several strands of glassy web, and winds them around Aladdin. Aladdin is dragged down, and dragged across the floor by the hungry, enraged Duke. As the Duke looms over Aladdin like a black widow spider, Aladdin generates a ball of lightning and conducts it down the webbing. The Duke is electrocuted, and begins to burn. Rather than let go, the Duke suddenly ignites.

David and Iman look on in terror. Lexie simple clinged to her mom.

Aladdin broke free of his bonds and looked at the burning Duke. But the Duke wasn't dead--he transformed into Earthling--on fire!! He hurls a spiral of flames at Aladdin opens the floor beneath him in pool of quicksand. The Genie sinks beneath, as the surface turns into glass.

The Duke bellows out, "Come out!!" In Earthling fashion, he shakes the floor, the room quaking, the stones splitting open.

The circle of ghosts prevent the chaos from spreading further, protecting the humans outside.

Underneath the Duke, the floor explodes as Aladdin tunneled below, swimming the underground river of quicksand. The genie emerges--a metal giant, marked 'Tin Machine VI'. The goliath scooped up the Duke and lifted him high. The machine began to bend the Duke in half, as he cried out in agony.

"Surrender, Duke," Aladdin called from inside, "I can't kill you, but Ziggy help me if you ever try to hurt anyone else, the body or the family, ever again...!!"

The Duke tried what he did to Tin Machine at the TVC15 station--send a bolt of lightning to obliterate the machine.

Except the machine was not grounded. Rocket boosters made the machine hover over the ground.

The Duke's threshhold for pain was exceeded, "I...SURRENDER!!" Aladdin dropped the Duke onto the ground, the sorceror-vampire writhing. Aladdin shifted back to normal shape, and drew a Bowie knife. All the genie had to do was join his blood with the Duke's to take his power, and everything would be restored. Aladdin took the Duke's limp arm and started to make a slice into his palm...

The Duke's palm turned into a dog's paw and it swiped Aladdin's knife out of his hand. The Duke's hound-like jaws then locked into the startled Aladdin's neck.

"You are SO gullible!" the Duke muttered as he began to sink his teeth into Aladdin's jugular. But instead of blood, the Duke tasted...

"ACK!! What is that awful green fluid!!" the Duke spat out the alcohol-tasting liquid out of his mouth in disgust.

Aladdin had turned into Baby Grace Blue, "It's what Grace had been pumped full with after she had been killed, "Aladdin said in Jareth's voice. You didn't get near her vein--her body tissues are saturated with it. Without my magic, she wouldn't even live."

Enraged, the Duke also transformed into another Outside character--the Artist Minotaur! The Duke charged Aladdin and gored him with his razor sharp horns. Aladdin's stitched-up inner organs began to spill out, as he flew over the Duke's head and landed on the floor behind him.

In a desperate attempt to save himself, Aladdin's organs turn to wire, as he assumes the form of Boz, another dead man transformed. He quickly retracts the wire into himself, but the Duke-as-minotaur tries to rip him apart once again with his horns.

"David," Iman says, "we have to do something! They're going to kill each other!"

"But what?" David asks.

Iman points to the Duke's throne.

Back inside the circle, Aladdin-as-Boz is getting beaten badly. Aladdin takes a risk--he turns back into Grace, curls his/her fist and throws a fistful of moondust into the Duke's bull-eyes. The dust stings and burns and the bull howls in pain.

Aladdin is exhausted--the Duke is showing signs of tiring as well. The minotaur charges again, but blinded, he runs into the wall of ghosts...

Aladdin shifts again, "Ricochet!" Not the Let's Dance-persona--he casts a spell to send to minotaur bouncing around the ring like a pinball. The blond genie dodges the bouncing bull as spins around the room.

Iman and David open the lid of the throne, and pull out a mummified form.

By accident, the flying minotaur slams into Aladdin and the two roll around the floor, into the edge of the circle closest to the throne. The Duke landed on top--Aladdin was knocked unconscious.

Confident in his victory, the Duke pinned Aladdin's hands over his head as he stradled his lithe body, "Stupid, stupid little Ziggy clone!" The Duke panted heavily, "Your blood...will taste even sweeter...now that I've beaten the pulp out of you.."

A hand peaked in between the legs of the ghosts legs and grabbed Aladdin's hand. Sharp, bony fingernails punctured Aladdin's tender skin and dug into his palm.

"What is this???" The Duke gasped, as he tried to pound away the mummy's hand. Under the Duke's fist, the mummy turned into dust and blew away.

Aladdin's red eyes flew open and he smiled up at the Duke, fangs bared, "NOW we're even!"

The Duke gasped, "Blaylock? NO!!" The Duke tries to bite into Aladdin's neck again, but Aladdin's blood won't flow. The now mummified genie turns into a cloud of dust and drifts out and under the Duke. Aladdin rematerializes, "We're too evenly matched. Give up. The master is free and writing and singing again. You've nothing to gain."

The Duke wearily charges Aladdin, feebly pounding his bony chest, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you..."

Aladdin shook his head, "You can't kill me. You can cut me, disembowl me, shoot me, but I will never die. Ziggy is not dead--he lives in us."

The Duke, in despair, collapses in Aladdin's arms, "I'll kill you..."

Aladdin: "You're not even listening, you stubborn ass. OK, if you're so stubborn, go ahead. Bite me."

The Duke snapped up: "What??"

Aladdin: "You heard me. Drink me."

The Duke couldn't believe his ears, but..."I knew...you would realize...you cannot win against me. Acknowleging...your defeat..is very mature of you..." Aladdin pulled the Duke up to his neck as...

David, "Aladdin Sane, what the hell are you doing???"

Aladdin winks. The Duke sinks his teeth into Aladdin's jugular, but Aladdin grabs the Duke's bloody hand into his. An equal, two-way transfer of power begins, as the two forms melt into each other. A bright light fills the room and blinds the Bowie family, until, in the middle of the room...

To be continue...

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
09/25/03 09:26 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II new [re: Kristin Machina]  

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE please please please please please please post tommorrow!!!!!!! I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to know that in the middle of the room, or i will be a very unhappy camper....

"It's what?Oh...oh, well, then...I see..."

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
10/05/03 11:00 PM
Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust new [re: Kristin Machina]  

In the middle of the room stood a creature of unearthly beauty.

A creature of regal elegance yet exuded a divine warmth.

A creature with wild, brilliant red hair and moonlight pale skin, clothed in gossamer white robes, falling barely half-way to its knees. White thigh-high boots cover its legs, while billowing sleeves slit from wrist to shoulder drape its arms.

Its eyes sparkle with starlight. Its golden circle glows on its forehead. Its bright red lips smile serenely.

David, Iman and Lexie can only gaze in wonder.

David cleared his throat, "Ziggy Stardust, I presume?"

Ziggy nodded, "I apologize for what my children have put your family through."

Iman's wonder wore off and quickly turned to anger, "Your 'children' tried to kill us!! How could such evil exist in such a good man??"

Ziggy bowed its head, lowering its eyes in apologetic sadness, "Evil exists in all human beings. All have the capacity to do terrible things--it is only the goodness in humans that keeps it in check."

David looks at Iman. Iman looks back, but with a good measure of fear and confusion. She clutches to Lexie.

Ziggy continues, "Even though it appeared that I 'died' almost three decades ago, I have always been aware of what went on within David's mind. Immediately after my 'death', a void appeared--a void the Thin White Duke tried to fill with greed, power and drugs. The void was created by lonliness..."

Ziggy carefully approached Iman, who tried to back away from the creature, "...but when you came into David's life, Iman, the void quickly dissapeared. A new energy--love--filled the void, and revitalized the body, and the mind. The Duke lied, David," Ziggy turns to David, "cigarettes don't fuel your creativity. Your creativity has always existed, right from the moment you were born. Whether you are conscious of it or not, it is the world and the people around you who inspire you. You are a chameleon, as they say."

David looks at the sweat-soaked piece of paper, still legible, containing the 'song,' "I was so afraid. I didn't know what else to do. I just started writing..."

Ziggy: "...and in doing so, you took away the Duke's power. It's one thing to be afraid, but you didn't give in."

David approaches Ziggy, staring intently at its face: "I can't believe I created you! All of you! This is just unbelievable!"

Ziggy blushes, "I caused quite a bit of trouble for you all those years ago. That's why I went away--to give away my energy to let other ideas grow."

David frowns, "But what happens now? I still can't remember anything. I'll have to start from scratch..."

Ziggy shook its head, "Not so. I will return to Suffragette City, and I'll take my children," points to its chest, "with me."

Iman interrupted, "Wait, if you go back, how do we know the Duke won't try to take over again? How do I know he won't hurt us again?"

Ziggy: "All the energies of the 'Bowies' are within me. When I return, I shall redistribute their energies, restoring the balance between Aladdin Sane and the Thin White Duke, and all the other personae. This episode will never happen again..."

Ziggy clasped David's face in his hands, "...and this will all seem like a bad dream..."

Iman: "Wait!"

Ziggy began to look annoyed, "What now?"

Iman: "How can you be so certain?"

Ziggy let go of David for a moment and looked into Iman's eyes, "Because he loves you and Lexie more than life itself. That power can defeat even the strongest of evils."

It's David's turn to blush.

Ziggy: "My children are telling me in my head, that when the body thinks of you, the sky shines brighter than daylight, and rose petals fall like rain, and the monkeybirds fly free across the sky..."

Iman: "O-kaaay...I guess I'll never fully understand what goes on in my darling's head, but that's why I love him." David takes Iman's hand in his.

Lexie gurgles and smiles.

Ziggy pets Lexie lightly on the head, "Take good care of Alexandria. The mind has certainly become a happier place because of her."

Iman, "David, do you mind...?"

David, "Mind what, darling?"

Iman takes Ziggy by the chin and gives him a peck on the lips.

Ziggy, "Oh my!"

Iman blushes, "I always wanted to do that."

Ziggy spins around to David, "Alright, master, your turn!"

David, "You mean...?"

Ziggy, "Mmm-hmm, pucker up, we're going home."

David, "Is this the only way?"

Ziggy cocked a non-existent eyebrow, "I could always try the back entrance..."


Ziggy laughs hard, with a musical melody.

Iman cups Lexie's ears, "Pay no attention to the dirty alien rock star."

Gently, Ziggy clasps David's head in its hands and plants a kiss. Bright light once again fills the room...

Outside the Cloisters...

"I can't wait any longer!!" Duncan get impatient, "I'm going in!" Despite the police's protest, Duncan charges through the gates, which now easily swing open. Duncan runs inside...

One of the officers sighs, "Bowie's got one crazy family..."

Another officer, "Look!" The dark clouds disperse and snow sprinkles to the ground.

Officer #1: "Snow? In August?"

Officer #2: "Hey? Do you smell peaches?"

Officer #1: "Kinda? Um, what are we all doing here?"

Office r#2: "I forgot. This is bad."

Suddenly, everyone at the scene forgot why they were at the Cloisters. The crowd outside slowly turned around and left. The snow continued to cover the entire island of Manhattan...


The light blinds Duncan temporarily, but as soon as it fades...

"Dad?" Duncan finds David, Iman and Lexie in the garden.

David smiled at his son, "Will you stay in our lover's story..."

Duncan: "HEY!! You got your memory back!! But where's everyone else?"

David, "Who? Iman and Lexie are right here."

Duncan, "No I mean...eh? Darn it, I thought there were other people here, but I can't remember..."

Iman, "Why ARE we here? I though you were shooting the video at the Village, David?"

David shrugged, "I don't see the crew around...oh blast it all! This whole week's been one great big blur what with my headaches and all. Let's just go home."

As the four take to the city, Iman asks, "How is your head, by the way?"

David smiles, "Never better!"

Duncan, "Hey Dad, what's in your hand?"

David, "Oh...lyrics? Lucky I can still read them...I feel like I sweated five pounds off. What's today, anyway."

Duncan and Iman, "Sunday."

David nods, "...Sunday..."
Back in Suffragette City...

Ziggy Stardust walks through an empty city...

Through the Town Square...

Past the deli and beauty shop...

Past the Moonage Daydream tavern...

Past Celliers' and Nathan's offices...

Up the stairs to the Duke's castle...

Ziggy stops at the Duke's empty throne and with a wave of his hand, separates the Duke from his being. The dejected Thin White Duke plops like a rag doll onto his throne.

The Duke says, in his weary voice, "Why don't you just destroy me? I have nothing to live for."

Ziggy shook his head, "I can't be rid of you, although every remaining fiber of my being wants to be. We can't have good without evil, and besides, 'Station to Station' is a great album."

Ziggy stands over the Duke, as the thin wizard curls like a fetus into his throne in terror, "But be warned, Thin White Duke. Whether you know it or not, I am always watching. The body will have many album's worth of inspiration, without the cigarettes, and nothing, not even YOU can stop it. Because we will no longer tolerate your tantrums any longer!"

Ziggy turns on its tall heels and, in a cloud of stardust, disappears into the sky. The Duke, enrages, tries to conjure a lightning storm. He barely gets a spark. Horrified and defeated, The Duke curls back into his throne and weeps pitifully....

To be concluded!

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Kristin Machina on 10/06/03 09:23 AM (server time).

(wild eyed peoploid)
10/07/03 11:46 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust new [re: Kristin Machina]  

In reply to:

"Mmm-hmm, pucker up, we're going home."
David, "Is this the only way?"
Ziggy cocked a non-existent eyebrow, "I could always try the back entrance..."
Ziggy laughs hard, with a musical melody.
Iman cups Lexie's ears, "Pay no attention to the dirty alien rock star."

Bwahahaha - that is classic!

I've really enjoyed this Kristin and am looking forward to your conclusion. Well done... thanks for the entertainment! You have a very vivid imagination.


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

(cracked actor)
10/08/03 00:42 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust new [re: prrrrr]  

That was great, once again!


We'll buy some drugs and watch a band
Then jump in the river holding hands

(wild eyed peoploid)
10/08/03 02:58 AM
Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust new [re: Kristin Machina]  

In reply to:

Ziggy cocked a non-existent eyebrow, "I could always try the back entrance..."


Ziggy laughs hard, with a musical melody.

Iman cups Lexie's ears, "Pay no attention to the dirty alien rock star."


You don't know how long I been waiting for Ziggy to appear. I love Ziggy!

When it come to music, I describe myself as a home-less person. They sleep anywhere but have a favourite par bench. I sleep anywhere but my favoourite park bench is the 80's

(wild eyed peoploid)
10/27/03 03:52 PM
Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust new [re: Kristin Machina]  

All the people who look at this thread 'cause it's back on the front page are gonna be pissed 'cause they thought you finally did the the ending Kristin.
So...how 'bout it? Can't wait to see it!


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
11/08/03 02:19 AM
Splitting Headache--Back to Normal? new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Ziggy walks through the glittering cathedral known as the Church of Mad Love, or Stardust's Tomb to the rest of the town's citizens. It's alabaster walls and soaring vaults shine like moonlight. At the alter lays Ziggy's coffin--a glass case trimmed in gold, embedded into the marble floor. The coffin, of course is empty.

Ziggy stands on top of the coffin lid, and pirouettes on his/her stacky heels. Shards of light fly from his body and land in the onyx pews in front of the alter. Each shard becomes a persona--The Bowies, still unconscious, all slump or lie in pews.

Last to appear is Aladdin Sane's body. Instead of landing in the seats, it floats gently into Ziggy's arms. Ziggy gently plants a kiss on Aladdin's forehead, then sets him gently beside the coffin.

Ziggy takes a deep breath, looking out at the Bowies, then vanishes in a bright flash of light.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Screamin' Lord Byron bolts up.

"For the last fuckin' time, STOP THAT FUCKIN' SCREAMIN'!!" Tin Machine rubs his eyes.

"Wait!" Earthling looks around, as all the Bowie awaken and arise from their pews.

"Where are we?" Ricochet looks around.

"Aren't we dead?" Zane pushes Hunky Dory off his legs, as the sphinx arches his back.

"OH MY GOSH!" Liza gasps. "We're alive!! We're home!!!"

The Bowies shout and holler, jump and leap out of their pews into the aisle in a mad celebration, embracing one another.

Except Ramona, who sulks in her seat, feeling very betrayed.

And poor Algeria, whose old bones are too stiff to move quickly, but weeps for joy.

And a white owl perched on the rafters above...

And Aladdin...

"Aladdin Sane?" Major Tom leaps up onto the alter floor to the sleeping genie. He shakes Aladdin's shoulder, and the genie opens his red eyes.

"ZIGGY!!" Aladdin jumps up. "Where's Ziggy?" Aladdin looks down into the coffin...

"It's empty!" Major Tom gasps.

"What??" The Bowies stop whatever they were doing and rushed to the coffin.

"Where's Ziggy Stardust?" Major Celliers scratched his hatless head.

Detective Nathan: "D'ya think he's...gone?"

Aladdin's eyes teared up briefly, but then he smiled, "No. A idea in Bowie's head never goes away. Ziggy's out there...somewhere. I find him one day!"

"Alright, everyone!" Monti shouts, "To the Moonage Daydream for drinks!"

"Come on girls, we've got some cookin' to do!" Nana shouted.

Everyone looks to Aladdin. Earthling asks, "Coming, Laddie?"

Aladdin paused for a moment, "Why not? This is cause for celebration! I feel a new burst of creativity coming on!"
And there was a new burst of creativity. Despite all that happened, Bowie felt completely re-energized. That hot August in 2001, David abandoned his 60's covers album, Toy, and began to write fast and furiously. The song in the Cloisters became "Sunday", and that was only the beginning. Everything that had transpired in the past few days colored the new songs. But a month later, another catastrophic event would bring new meaning to his songs....

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
11/12/03 02:03 AM
Splitting Headache--Finale! new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Throughout the rest of that hot summer, Suffragette City boomed with the sound of music. The sky, cloudless and bright, crackled with electricity--colored streaks criss-crossed the sky above.

Thomas Jerome Newton was busily tweaking knobs and pushing buttons on the TV control room in the immediately-repaired TVC15 Station. The multiple screens were tuned in to various activities across the Brain...

Through one screen, the animals, Halloween Jack and Hunky Dory, once again ran free across the billowing Earthling plains.
Meanwhile, the spiky-haired Bowie himself sat on a hill, overlooking the plains, jotting down something on a piece of paper....

On another, the chorus girls--Nana, Veronica and Liza--harmonized with each other in the Beauty Parlor...

At the junk shop, Leon Blank haggled with Algeria Touchshriek on the price of an obsure Neil Young album...

At the Labyrinth Castle (previously destroyed by the Duke, but rebuilt after the Bowies' return), Jareth was digging through an old, bejeweled chest for a poem he'd written to Sarah. Baby Grace, whom he adopted, chased the chickens absent-mindedly around the throne room.

Major Tom, up on his capsule, was typing some data into his computer, while Pierrot swung like an acrobat around the tower cross-beams.

Elsewhere across the city, all the Bowies--Ramona in her tunnels, Ricochet on the beach, Detective Adler in his cluttered office, Berlin and Tin Machine in a garage, even Zero atop his pedestal--were busy writting, plucking an instrument or humming something or other.

Energy and music pulsed throughout the brain.

Then September came...

"Are you OK?" Earthling asked.

The Bowies, like most of the humans outside of the body, had gathered at church. The Church of Mad Love became an instant meeting place--the shock, sadness and fear that overcame David's mind in the immediate moments, days, even weeks after Sept. 11th, was certain to have done mortal harm to Aladdin. Worse yet, it could have re-strengthened the Duke.

But Aladdin was surprisingly healthy. Although it was obvious he had been crying (who hadn't?), he seemed well-composed, and provided a sense of solice to the other panicked Bowies.

"Byron wanted to leave Manhattan," Liza said.

"Can you BLAME me!?" Byron screamed, still shaking.

"Isn't it strange," Nana sighed, "we were only outside in New York a month ago..."

"I'm glad David didn't leave," Major Celliers nodded, "I mean, David's folks didn't just pick up and leave London during the Blitz."

"That's different," Ricochet pshawed, "Where were Mum and Dad going to go? They HAD to stay!"

"Right," Celliers nodded again, "it shows character, on the Body's part."

"New York is our home," Aladdin said. "Everything the Body loves and everyone he loves is right here."

"Yeah," Baby Grace, sitting on the floor by the alter, "New York is cool."

Yankee smiled, "I love New York. Phily second."

Tin Machine, "New York fuckin' kicks ass!"

The Bowies laugh in agreement.

Veronica: "And I love Suffragette City."

Leon: "This'll teach us never to take our hometown for granted ever again. You never know if you'll see it again."

The Bowie nodded in unison solemnly.

Newton, followed by Boz, came running down the aisle, hollering, "Everyone! Come look!" Boz once again turned into a TV set and a picture appeared in his abdomen:

A newancher from the outside: "...the effects of 9/11 have affected the people in New York in many ways. Some have developed severe cases of post-traumatic stress disorder..."

Outside the body...

"David, darling, look!" Iman and David were watching the news, like everyone else in the country.

"Oh, my, god!" David tried very hard not to laugh.

"'They're trying to kill me!!' A poor, disheveled man, wearing little more than a diaper and a dog collar, was carried to Bellevue Hospital, claiming a group of rock-stars forced him to perform circus tricks. His apartment was in complete shambles and neighbors complained to police about suspicious activity within...

The Church of Mad Love...

"It's Nigel McCrap!" Zane gasped!

"McCool!" Nana admonished him. "Halloween Jack, Celliers, what did you and Jareth do to the poor devil?"

Major Celliers raised his hands defensively, "I take no responsibility for the goblin's actions!"

Halloween Jack whistled innocently.

Baby Grace tried to hide behind a statue.

An owl in the rafters hooted in a laughing manner.

Nathan scratched his head, "Well, at least our secret's safe with us. No one will believe him about us and that female friend of Dave's."

Zero, "Hey, what about that video? We did all that work for what?"

Hunky Dory chuckled, "Don't wo-rrry. It'll turrrn up. Like"Prrretty Boys Arrre Going to Hell"."

The Bowies chuckled. Boz sulked and flicked off the set.

Berlin, "Or 2. Contamination!" The Bowies laughed.

Nathan: "Hey now!"

Ricochet, "You all are horrible! Making jokes after what just happened..."

Aladdin Sane patted Ricochet on the head, "It's OK. We cannot dwell on the sadness for too long. I, at least, learned that this past summer. It's time to move on..."

Monti: "Right! We can't let this bring us down!"

Ramona, from the back of the Church, "Art and creativity cannot be silenced! It is life itself!"

Aladdin: "For Ziggy's sake!"

Major Tom, "The new songs are ready!"

Pierrot jumped up and down excitedly.

Major Tom: "...But there's something I wanted to tell everyone before the attacks outside happened."

The Bowies turned around and paid attention.

Major Tom: "I've detected a new personae."

"WHAT??" the Bowies gasped.
The Thin White Duke, locked up in his castle by Ziggy, paced the dark onyx halls, his heels clicking on the uncarpeted, shiny floors. Still sulking from hs defeat, he'd take out his anger on various glass vases around the halls by smashing them against a wall.

Somewhere in the middle of his tantrums, he'd manage to take a piece of white chalk and scrawl something awful on the floors and walls...

Then, a shape passed the narrow windows of the castle.

The Duke looked up, "Ziggy?"

The Duke struggled to open the windows, but by Stardust's spell, was unable to. They were sealed. But out of the windows peered a face...

A face unrecognizable to the Thin White Duke.

Whoever it was seemed to repulse the Duke, and he spat:

"Get away from here, you...you heathen"

The windows flashed from the inside and an echo of thunder boomed from within.

The mysterious face turned, unphased and wandered down the streets of the always changing, ever expanding world of David Bowie's mind.

The End...for now

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
12/30/03 00:20 AM
Before this goes... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Before this thread is eventually archived, I've put the entire story on my page:


Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
01/02/04 01:34 PM
Re: Before this goes... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Ahhh!! This is so beautiful!! You should write professionally, I'm telling you! I love love LOVE the humor in it. (I'm sure David would find this ultimately entertaining). This is mind blowing! I give it 5 thumbs up!

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. -Captain Jack Sparrow

01/02/04 04:50 PM
Re: Before this goes... new [re: ziggysgrl]  

>>>This is mind blowing! I give it 5 thumbs up!<<<

Yes, it is mind blowing isn't it? BTW, where did you get 5 thumbs? I'd like to check into the market....I hear that multiple thumbs are selling well these days.

"You seem somewhat familiar...Have I threatened you before?"

(wild eyed peoploid)
01/02/04 08:36 PM
Re: Before this goes... new [re: ThomasJNewton6]  

You are correct, they are selling well. That's where I got mine!

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. -Captain Jack Sparrow

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
01/03/04 09:55 AM
Re: Before this goes... new [re: ThomasJNewton6]  

I'll take all the 'thumbs up' I can get!

Thanks for the compliments!!

Don't understand me, just love me

(wild eyed peoploid)
01/04/04 01:43 AM
Re: Before this goes... new [re: Kristin Machina]  

What inspired you to write such a beautiful masterpiece, Kristin? And I mean, the actual concept of having all the Bowie personas come together. (I'd love to see this as a movie)

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. -Captain Jack Sparrow

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
01/05/04 01:14 AM
The Spark new [re: ziggysgrl]  

About 3 years ago, there was a website called Bowie Survivor. The Bowies were split into 3 tribes (Iman, Angie and Melissa) and were marooned on Zahra-Zahra Island. The losers got tossed into a machine and were re-processed into sushi, cigarettes or other stuff. It was great--Newton won, and all he did was sit around watching TV. Ziggy and Aladdin were always making out. Blaylock drank everyone's blood (and got stoned when he bit into the Duke.)
I wanted to do something a little different, something a little more original (for characters I don't legally own, anyway.) So I started writing, and it took a long time to finish. There is just so many characters.

Don't understand me, just love me

Kristin Machina
(stardust savant)
04/06/04 02:48 AM
Re: The Spark new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Don't understand me, just love me

04/06/04 01:05 PM
Re: The Spark new [re: Kristin Machina]  

Oh, that sounds like so much fun! Go NEWTON! See? Antheans rock....I think you need to start an RP and cast whoever you want as particular personas and it could be set in your Suffragette City (from this story) Just a suggestion, but I think it would be fun...haha.

BEEF! It's what's for dinner!
Prepare the transite beam!

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