What's the one thing Bowie could say to you that would make you punch the man in the face? Like really hard?

Me, I've narrowed it down to several:

"I've been bald for the last twenty years."
"I had an affair with Elton John."
"I'm your real biological mother."
"I was asked to appear on 'The Simpsons,' but I told them to piss off."
"You know that 'Barbie Girl' song by Aqua? I wrote that one!"
"I'm going to re-form Tin Machine."

Anyone else...?

In reply to:

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"I had an affair with Elton John."

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That would be a punch, complete beat-up and throwing him off a cliff.
There's no forgiving that. Yuck!

In reply to:

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"You know that 'Barbie Girl' song by Aqua? I wrote that one!"

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Oh man, that's really funny! Still, I wouldn't be so surprised if we found out Bowie actually wrote 'Barbie Girl'. Seriously, it wouldn't come as a big shock.


"Broke my hand on a pineapple. Didn't even care." Bruce McCulloch

"Those rape allegations from '87 were true, y'know".

"Your mother makes lousy breakfast".

"I'm about to sing Shake It".

"Your special someone thinks about me when she closes her eyes. Look into your soul, twister, you know it to be true".

"Hit me! Come on, hit me!"

"Claude's a better poster than you are".

"Please, call me Sailor..."

I hope that I can say the things I wish I'd said.

"I think The Wallflowers greatly improved 'Heroes'."

Do you think you scare me, twister?! Huh?! You wouldn't do anything to me. You love me too much. Besides, I would have Marius go over to your place and take back all of my albums if you did. It's not worth it, fucker. It's just not worth it. You wanna play with Daddy, asshole?!

Oh, and Claude would have come up with something better.

Bye bye we love you.

"You know how your club is gone? I'm the one who shut it down."
"Jeff Buckley was a talentless fool."
"I joined Hanson!"
"For the next tour I'll open for The Backstreet Boys."
I'm sure there are more, I just can't think of any. . .

"That's right mom. Eat the rotton pears. That'll get you into heaven.
-Maria to her mom"
http://www.geocities.com/jagger_bowie

"Brittney Spears really is quite talented."
"JLo has a nice butt"
"You know, i will be closing down B-Net soon"

I have been saving up for BNet forEVER. If he shuts it down before i get it, i would scream. Loud. Give my indian call and throw him off a cliff.

Todos Las Tipo Jovenes
En
Ciudad Sufragio

"I'm doing a song with P.diddy"

"Since everyone wants me to make 2. Contamination so much, I thought it'd be funny to take the master tapes from the 1. Outside sessions and piss on them."
"I shot JR"
"I have recently signed up to make "Labyrinth" 2 through 5 and "Into the Night" 2 through 7"
"I like to touch small children"
"The man you once knew as David Bowie no longer exists... please welcome MC Furious Mac Daddy D, the 5th and newest member of Limp Bizkit"

It's a deal
It's a steal
It's the Sale of the fucking Century!