Okay we all know that I am invaluable to any future society and we all know why but I'll give you the rundown anyways:

- I can make a drinking game out of anything. This will, of course, come in handy on those long boring nights when we're all sick of hearing about who's a vegetarian and why.

- I do funny celebity impersonations. You don't know this about me because this board doesn't have an audio component (yet). You haven't lived until you've heard my routine of Charlton Heston teaching Woody Allen to speak Spanish. Not a dry pair of pants in the house, ladies and gentlemen.

- I'm a good shoulder to cry on. This is, of course, apparent in my posts here. I don't think that there is a single lonely, misunderstood teenager here that hasn't recieved the love and care that only I can give.

- I can fart the alphabet. 'Nuff said.

- We will need a strong leader, who better to do this than a person who has two presidential races under his belt.

- I've got a bunch of dead baby jokes just waiting for an audience.

- I can arrange things in fun and interesting ways - especially when the inevitable dead body is involved.

- Show me a couch and I'll make you a fort.

- I'm a really horny bastard. This will come in handy when the repopulation part comes in. I'm also quite the pervert so the sex wouldn't get boring for a while.

- [edit]As one of Teenage Wildlife's few (perhaps only?) bona-fide gym rats I can do the heavy lifting. Lets see you cross-dressing, chain-smoking sissies haul around loads of crap. I crush you like insect. [/edit]

- If not picked, my lawyer has documents ready to sue your sorry ass.

To summarize, I would essentially be like a drunken, unwashed cruise director that is always ready with a bad joke or a good roll in the hay. Sometimes vice-versa. Besides, these genes I gots are fucking gold!

Monkeyboy for America
Dedicated to making pay and play politics work for once.

Edited by Monkeyboy on 02/20/04 00:20 AM (server time).

Let's see...

I can function many hours without sleep.
I can go a few days without eating before I get hungry.
People in my family tend to live until they're about 90 or so.
While not physically strong, I am mentally strong. I could find solutions to most problems we might face, from planning a colony to dealing with those pesky radioactive zombies.
I'm about to graduate with an fine arts major and writing minor. I could teach the wee ones about sculpture, painting, drawing, prose writing, journalism, and art history (if I had my art history books).
I'm open-minded.
I'm strong-willed.
And that's all off the top of my head.





Do NOT make me LAUGH!

In reply to:

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I refuse to repopulate.

Besides, can you imagine what kind of world order I would come up with?

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Both excellent reasons for your inclusion.

I Forgot To Change It Before

Monkeyboy, you are so in. On the basis of any of the characteristics you delineated? No, but because 1 Monkeyboy =, well, at least 12 other individuals, and your quantity is your quality in this case.

JarethsGirl: You are on the short list so far. While your fecundity is not proven (as is your TW Spaceship self-appointed captain's), I suppose that with a minimal physical examination, we could take a gamble on you. And with your entertainment value, you multi-task girl! You are a definite maybe!

Lacrimans, you've done a swell job selling yourself as a Jack-of-Many-Trades. You've made the 1st cut so far, but please don't eat any of the rations, yet.

The position of most Cunning Linguist is still a toss up between WW and SPF at this point. Oh, how to lean? What else can they offer?




shitr

I'll take a bottom bunk since the high consumption of alcohol that I plan to inspire almost always leads to bedwetting.

Monkeyboy for America
Dedicated to making pay and play politics work for once.

In reply to:

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The position of most Cunning Linguist is still a toss up between WW and SPF at this point. Oh, how to lean? What else can they offer?

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I bet I can match Monkeyboy drink for drink.

WW

The average American walks less than 400 yards a day. The average American needs to get off his lazy ass and go for a walk -Mark Stevens

Me, I am a fabulous cook. I'm also able to tend an abundant garden, edible and non . My skill with animals is one comparable only to Dr. Dolittle's. My background working with musicians, club bookers, agents and hair dressers and children makes me an excellent negotiator and overall ego juggler.

Of course, I am a virtual encyclopedia of pop music knowledge and pop trivia. Able to create smooth segues in a 1/3 turn of a turntable. Known to entertain thousands for hours as a dj. Occasional bouts of historical facts and fiction are available for the discussion.

I am a crafty wench. Tell me what you need and I will fashion it out of whatever is available. I prefer not working with road kill, but can make exceptions. Also handy with small appliances.

Lastly, as I can be modest at times and don't care to overwhelm with my prattle, I am quite imaginative. Thus enabling me to come up with many ideas and schemes for all situations -- be them usual or unusual.

I really do not care to pop out any babies, but I'd be happy to "mold" the little ones' minds. I've got lots of stories, and many yet told.

"You've gotta laugh when you can't cry no more." - DOT 3, "Palo Alto's finest voodoo funk band"

In reply to:

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I bet I can match Monkeyboy drink for drink.

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Sounds like a challenge to be settled in the chat room some time.

Monkeyboy for America
Dedicated to making pay and play politics work for once.

In reply to:

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Sounds like a challenge to be settled in the chat room some time.

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Remember to turn on your webcams, so if you die of alcohol poisoning you can capture it on camera, like that one dumb kid.

Isn't it great how we hate the same things?

I suck a mean cock and will teach the others.

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.