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ohramonaModerator
(stardust savant)
02/21/04 06:47 PM
There's something wrong! new [re: ohramona]  




You one-skill wonders just don't get it, do you? With only 13 spaces available, (12, excluding mine), you have to be able to offer more than one ability. And it would really behoove you if it were critical to survival! if I get one more application from a *comedian*, I'm gonna barf. I find myself needing to clear some of these files off my desk. So it is with true sadness, in some cases, and without a scintilla of emotion in some others, that I make the following cuts. If your name is not here, or previously mentioned under *accepted*, your file is still currently under review.

1.

In reply to:

(WildWind) I bet I can match Monkeyboy drink for drink.



I am not convinced of the utility of this *skill* now, or in the future. Sounds like you're just going to hog the Captain's Harp and Cabernet. I've also come to the conclusion that there is no tangible need to keep a linguist around. The new language of humanity will be evolving with the pioneers, and it is a forgiving tongue. It is with heavy heart, WW, that I must deny your entrance onto the ship.

2.

In reply to:

(diamonddogz74)



Uses too much oxygen.

3.

In reply to:

(krettis) I can make people laugh...



This statement is unfounded. If I were just to take your word for it, I would have employed elvenlass on this basis. And we are not afraid of your gun.


4.

In reply to:

(guiltpuppy) I suck a mean cock and will teach the others.



and

5.

In reply to:

(Beltene)I talk about my precious qualities in my profile. Other than that I'm pretty much useless.



Yes. Diversify, folks. Besides, nobody's gonna be lacking in the big O department. The new world will be rampantly sexual, to the point where a gratuitous orgasm is like washing your hands after urinating: expected.

6.

In reply to:

(Ville) I of course am fluent in Cockroach



Useless.

7.

In reply to:

(eraserhead) I have the biggest Iggy Pop collection.



Bigger is not always better e'head. We're going to have to travel light, and besides I think that Iggy appeals to a rather narrow crowd. Come on, that's not even a talent! If we really wanted your Iggy collection, we'd just take it after you're blowed up!

8.

In reply to:

(EJSunday) For myself I can only argue with my incredibly good looks.



Your inarguably good looks will only get you so far, EJ, and I'm afraid it's not onto the ship. I'm sorry.

9. and 10.

In reply to:

(strangeDivine)



There will be no warm bodies taken along merely for expenditure, Gregory! I made that perfectly clear in the mission statement. No anhedonists! And since you and Sysiyo are a matched set, I guess he can take this as his rejection notice, also.

Make your peace, brothers and sisters.



shitr

SysiyoModerator
(thunder ocean)
02/21/04 06:53 PM
Re: There's something wrong! new [re: ohramona]  

Darn, and I had my hopes high.

Well, at least now I won't end up in arguments on how to raise crop, and weather or not all the five different Tubular Bells recordings are worth saving.

Of course they are, since they're better than Hunky Dory.

KArt | Project Michelangelo | LiveJournal

RabbitFighter
(acolyte)
02/21/04 06:57 PM
Re: There's something wrong! new [re: Sysiyo]  

Think of the positive side, you´ll get to experience the demise of human race with yours truly. Maybe with the last gasp of breath we can spit on God´s face. Sounds good ,eh?

My love is only for me
My love needs nobody else
Did you know that my love is a liquid?



Strawman
(stardust savant)
02/21/04 06:58 PM
Soporific... new [re: bulletprooffaces]  

In reply to:

i am youthful and vigorous! and i could have children if i had my norplant removed! does my 1974-bowie-fandom count for something? i can also eat fire, glass, juggle flaming sticks, and pound nails up my nose! i'm ambidextrous, omnisexual, and multilingual! i have entertainment value, damnit!



That's too much like the story of the ambitious cook who goes for a position as a chef in a top hotel and the Chef de cuisine requests for him to show what he his capable of; so he places a frying-pan with oil over heat, goes to the otherside of the kitchen, takes an egg from it's tray & proceeds to throw it in the air, brings it down tentatively on his right foot, flicks it up & poises it on his his fucking great French-like nose, bends backwards, rolling the egg slowly on to his scantily-clad rib-cage so it actually vibrates the tune of the first four chords of 'Changes', downwards on to his left knee & finally airborns the egg again so it drops on the edge of the frying-pan, cracks, the shell falls outside the pan & the egg commences to cook perfectly.>

Prospective & expectant cook : Do I get the job?

Chef De Cuisine : Nah......You fuck about too much.





bulletprooffaces
(wild eyed peoploid)
02/21/04 07:05 PM
didn't want a ride on yr damned ship anyway... new [re: Strawman]  

ah, fuck it then. I'll just fuck about here on earth then, with Sysiyo and RabbitFighter et. al., and die a dignified death (probably involving a drug overdose).

my bowie site: in English | Deutsch | français | Português

Beltene
(electric tomato)
02/21/04 07:30 PM
Re: Spaceship TW new [re: ohramona]  

Fine, ohramona. You're not welcome on my ship either, cause unlike most of you here, I at least have the skill to design one.

Booyeah.

Psycho maniac interblend, shoot it up. Shoot it up now.


ohramonaModerator
(stardust savant)
02/21/04 07:54 PM
Take your protein pills and pad your resume some new [re: Myriada]  



In reply to:

(Myriada) I'm cute, smart, reproductively viable,



You didn't make the 1st *reject* list because, well face it, the *breeders* still just aren't rolling in like we need. But you're a bit past prime breeding age. Aren't you in your mid 30's? A great age for the old world, but realistically, what can we expect from you in the way of 1st-rate babies? 5 or 6? I'm really counting on a 10 minimum per breeder. But if you could find one more salable skill (storytelling? come on!), we'd like you on board.

In reply to:

(Strawman) first-class chef, ... i'm multi-phrenic ,



Well, we've already got Tin, who can not only cook, but tend plants and animals. Plus, being from the left coast of the US, as opposed to England, I suspect her cooking would be a healthier version. However, when she begins her wet-nursing duties, she may not be able to put 24/7 into food services. She could probably use an assistant.

I'm intrigued by the possibilities that your multi-phrenia could imply. If you mean *multi-phrenic* in the Art Spiegelman sense, as in having lots of personalities, I'm wondering if we could find out if the different personalities have different genetic materials. Genetic diversity is of paramount importance early in colonization. Of course, we do have Monkeyboy and his 12 alter-egos ...

Anyway, get back to me on that. For now, I'll keep your file on my desk.

In reply to:

Rob ... assuming he makes the final thirteen;



Are you thinking we're gonna need a purser on this ship?

In reply to:

(Atonalexpress) composer



Well, as I've said, everybody needs more than one function. But you address an area that hasn't really been hit on yet: art, and being a perfect developmental psychologist (and by perfect I mean I scored perfectly on the developmental psychology portion of my certification tests) I know that music and art (music in particular) do wonderful things for the brain development of children. We need an instructor. In fact, we need a school marm in general. Can you do this? Can you teach music, art, math, writing, etc? I know a couple others have mentioned area specific knowledge, and they can be drawn upon to help educate the bairn also, but we need a main teacher. Let's discuss.



shitr

Lacrimans
(kook)
02/21/04 08:02 PM
Re: There's something wrong! [re: ohramona]  

Okay, here's what else I have to offer.

: I can make booze with the right materials from scratch.

: I have decent knowledge of the human anatomy; while not a doctor, I could perform light surgery, mend wounds and broken bones. Most of this knowledge comes from anatomy books and surgery television shows. I'm not squeamish either.

: I can take criticism without getting pissy.

: I can follow orders, or give them if it comes to it.

: I have a decent knowledge of computers. If there's a problem with the software or hardware, I could most likely fix it.


Do NOT make me LAUGH!




elvenlass
(stardust savant)
02/21/04 09:52 PM
Re: Take your protein pills and pad your resume so [re: ohramona]  

Thank you for the acceptance!

In reply to:

I'm really counting on a 10 minimum per breeder.


I'm 18 years old, I've got a looong reproductive life ahead of me. 10 children? Psh! Try 20. At least!

Vote Kerry! Clark dropped out.

poorsoul
(acolyte)
02/21/04 10:59 PM
Xenon [re: ohramona]  

In reply to:

Of course, we do have Monkeyboy and his 12 alter-egos...



So wouldn't that make the ship full already?

÷±¥±÷


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