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(cracked actor)
02/22/04 01:23 AM
Jesus loves me, why can't you? new [re: ohramona]  

Hey, where am I among all this? Accepted, rejected, dejected, injected?

Okay, to whore myself out some more:

1. Since WildWind's no longer on, I can take care of her grammatical duties. I'm not overly anal about using perfectly proper grammar on TW, but I am a literature major, with top-notch scores on all my English and lit tests (standardized and other) to prove it.

2. I may not be Elvenlass' spry 18, but I'm still young: 21 and willing for some babies.

3. Even though Eraserhead has been rejected, I can still be your Virgin Mary, mother of all woes.

4. I'm damn good with makeup. Sounds trivial, but it's surprisingly useful. You have no idea the number of times my makeup skills have saved people's lives.

5. Having grown up in Russia, where we did old-school stuff like that, I know how to make home remedies from herbs and plants. I know which plants are antibiotic, which ones get rid of a fever, and which ones are good for backpain and arthritis. I can make splints, and I still have my package of easily-referenced notes from my middle school Emergency Medicare class. (I can also theoretically perform CPR.)

6. I can communicate with the dead and spirits, and am on good terms with several deities. You want rain? I got your rain. You need mystical guidance from above? I can be your Pythia and oracle in one. Someone died and you want to know where they've put their stash? Just leave it to me, kids.

I don't know if I'm helping or hurting here, but what the hey.

I need a new signature.

02/22/04 03:10 AM
Re: Take your protein pills and pad your resume some new [re: ohramona]  

Thank you for the consideration. I was granted a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology and will be available for debriefing sessions and group or individual counseling/therapy sessions. Whenever you get a group of people together you always have diversity, conflict and the establishment of pecking orders. The group will need someone who can reduce tensions and promote healthy relationships.

I would be able to teach music (theory and piano) and psychology, but my advanced math skills are not strong.

One of my strengths is in organization. I am able to organize and plan a strategy of action when the need arises. Form is essential to music making, and I will bring organizing skills to the group.

I am easy going and rarely lose my temper. My father taught me how to garden and raise vegetables, but don't count on me to hunt for meat.

Finally, I believe that raising mentally healthy children should be one of the groups' goals. I would be an exemplary role model and would teach the children about healthy relationships and how to work cooperatively with their peers.

The Atonal Express left the tonal world behind...

(stardust savant)
02/22/04 05:44 AM
Jesus & Space new [re: White Prism]  

In reply to:

A Jesus biography, though? What kind of things could be discussed in there, other than whether or not Jesus existed

Well, whether or not he was gay, those kinds of things. He wasn't though, for the record. But he cared about how he looked, apparently (according to the book) so I guess that makes him a little gay-ish, but, you know.

In reply to:

Well, eclectic enough not to have a wardrobe full of Iggy T-shirts anyway.

Well, I also have a Public Enemy t-shirt, a Bob Marley t-shirt and... a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. :) Top that if you can! The only way you could top that is to say you have a Robbie Williams t-shirt. Come on, say it!

In reply to:

Okay, I’ve moved as seamlessly as I possibly could through the various topics, but we need to back peddle to my brief career as an astronaut. I wish I could say that I volunteered myself to be sent into space, but it was actually part of my parents’ wishes. I had a fairly happy though impoverished childhood, and it was only because my dad had connections with high up places – a brother’s auntie’s dog’s friend’s cousin’s owner, in fact – who promised to send me into space and keep my best interests at heart. My mother jumped at the chance and arranged for me to be posted to NASA straightaway, yet I still have the remaining impression that I was being used as a human guinea pig of some sort. . .

As you may have gathered by now, it was a fairly routine mission, as space mission go; just a test flight in a new shuttle which had an unprecedented use of a uranium power source, the kind of thing which sadly doesn’t make international news. The guy who was in charge of coordinating the mission – the brother’s auntie’s dog’s guy – really only wanted a child on-board as something flashy that he could write on his CV. I think he used me as a means of claiming that he had sent the first child into space; a development which, as you can imagine, he tipped as heralding a new era of the space age where children could become self-sufficient in space and presumably seek out inhabitable planets and repopulate them of their own accord. I was given a fairly minimal training programme, even though most of the controls on the shuttle were operated from a terrestrial base, but I kinda twigged what was going on with the coordinator’s selfish motives to exploit my position, and resolved to be difficult and obstinate once I was finally blasted into space.

Of course, I was young and fearless, so being sent into space was no big deal, just something that beat the shit out of a daytrip to the zoo. As soon as lift-off was successful, I immediately carried out my revenge on ground control by smearing excrement over the CCTV cameras (something for which I was severely reprimanded on my return to Earth), but once the main objectives of the mission were completed I was given a free rein for a brief spell. So I completed a few 360 degree spins and looped-the-loop. I was only six years old, after all.

A couple questions.

1. What's a CV?
2. Have you suffered any side-effects? What, do you think, would your life have been like had you not had this horrifying experience at the tender age of 6?
3. Do you feel like you are "above" normal people, because of what you've been through?
4. What's a CCTV camera?
5. You shouldn't ever read my old posts.

If this is the music of the future...let me die now.

02/22/04 05:49 AM
Re: There's something wrong! new [re: ohramona]  

I warned you.

(thunder ocean)
02/22/04 06:47 AM
Re: There's something wrong! new [re: RabbitFighter]  

In reply to:

Think of the positive side, you´ll get to experience the demise of human race with yours truly. Maybe with the last gasp of breath we can spit on God´s face. Sounds good ,eh?

Actually, i was thinking of building a TW Ghetto spaceship and forcibly dragging you along so that I won't have to have fun with strangeDivine alone.

Actually, your plan sounded better.

Just out of professional interest, though: Hey captain, would you care to 'rank' my skills and such disregarding my affection to strangeDivine?

KArt | Project Michelangelo | LiveJournal

02/22/04 07:35 AM
Retrial new [re: ohramona]  

In reply to:

Your inarguably good looks will only get you so far, EJ, and I'm afraid it's not onto the ship. I'm sorry.

That doesn't explain my rejection . You have to have good looking things aboard to cheer people up once in a while. That function shouldn't be underestimatet.

And I want to believe
In the madness that calls 'now'

(cracked actor)
02/22/04 09:34 AM
Re: There's something wrong! new [re: ohramona]  

Huh! ruddy cheek of it.

I'll build my own Space Ship then,See if i care lol.

Humming Rheingold
We scavenge up our clothes.
London Bye Ta-Ta...

02/22/04 10:51 AM
Re: There's something wrong! [re: Sysiyo]  

In reply to:

Actually, i was thinking of building a TW Ghetto spaceship and forcibly dragging you along

Jesus christ! That´s the lamest idea i´ve ever heard. What kind of a person would like to escape armageddon in the first place?
Drag me along choo choo boy and i´ll be forced to slaughter all of you in a vicious manner. I promise i´ll shed a few tears afterwards but there´s no way i´m going to let anyone come between me and my perfect date with the end of the world.

My love is only for me
My love needs nobody else
Did you know that my love is a liquid?

(stardust savant)
02/22/04 11:12 AM
You've really made the grade! [re: Starlite]  

I'm in the process of sifting through the files I've got left here. Please remember, if you've not been accepted or rejected thus far, your file is still under consideration. Also please remember that acceptances, although I feel pretty good about these choices so far, are not written in stone.

Some criteria taken into consideration when making choices:

1. Potential breeders are of course a primary concern. If you are a young and healthy female, you're nearly a shoe-in, but there are exclusionary factors such as heavy drug usage or smoking. I'm feeling pretty good about the breeder corps we've got now.

2. All men are expected to provide jizz, no exceptions. If you're shooting blanks, you're not coming with. However, no man without something else to add, will be considered. Homosexuals will not be excluded on this basis, 'cause if you can't get it up for one of our breeders, we have medics and turkey basters.

The tentative line-up so far:

Captain: me, ohramona

Chief Steward: Tin
Tending produce and livestock; producing nutritious and delicious meals; hairdresser; educator; dj.

Navigation Officer/Engineer: Nature Boy
Intergalactic navigation; music/entertainment

2nd Navigation Officer/Engineer: White Prism
Intergalactic naviagtion; childcare; future urban planning

Crew/Medical Officer Lacrimans:
Technical support specialist; educator; brewer; light surgery, mend wounds and broken bones

Crew: Monkeyboy
Fitness instructor; entertainment; heavy lifter


Entertainment; art educator; potential emergency food source

Educator; artiste

Educator; assistant medic


02/22/04 11:23 AM
Re: You've really made the grade! [re: ohramona]  

People, hear the advice of raging armageddon fanboy. Need an extra seat? Easy, ditch the captain. With that kind of an attitude she´ll end up taking a walk to airlock sooner or later anyway. I assume you´ll eventually build a statue for that death embracing prick who saved you from a fascist regime.

My love is only for me
My love needs nobody else
Did you know that my love is a liquid?

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