So I went to a party tonight where I someone informed me they recently got ordained online so that they could officiate at a friend's wedding. I've heard of these instant online ordinations before, but I wasn't sure if they were legal.

Apparently--they are.

Cheap, too. You can get ordained as a minister or reverend for free at Universal Life Church, or for $19.95 at Progressive Universal Life Church, but that includes a certificate and a wallet license. And you can officially perform all ministerial duties (weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc) in all 50 states, with the exception of New York City.

The only thing they ask is that you promote freedom of religion, which, you know, is far less ethically problematic than what most contracts ask.

So how about it? Anyone else up for some instant ordination?

You'd better believe I'm doing this. I only wish I could get ordained through the Church of Euthanasia, but beggers can't be choosers.

"There will always be room for good journalism and good reporting." --Rupert Murdoch

You might want to contact Captain Vile personally. He seems to be an agreeble fellow and should help you to become the best peadophile priest you can be.

As for the original topic, I find those sites oddly fascinating. I've always wanted to shove people into unholy matrimony and those people might actually help me in my endless quest for ego wankery. The thing is, I'm not sure whether I'd settle on being a meager priest. Are you aware of a website that turns you into cardinal?

I'm spellbound, but a woman divides
And the hills are alive with celibate cries

You know I'm doing this! I have to see if I can part with the funds now or later but yeah, I'm so doing this! But I'm also really considering buying a PhD in Exorcisms.

I used to have a clever signature.

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I have to see if I can part with the funds now or later

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The first link does the actual bare-bones ordination for free, far as I can tell. You'd only pay if you wanted to order (I'm not kidding) "Ministry in a Box" or some other such helpful aides.

These sites are great! They even provide you with letters of good standing in the Church if you need them! (Some states require proof that you're "a member in good standing" before you can perform all your duties.)

Why not New York?


don't u wish you're post was hot like mine don't ya don't ya (from that crappy pop song)

Yeah, but I want the wallet ID card because I'd imagine that my (and it will be frequent) claim that I am an ordained minister will require some proof to back it up.

I used to have a clever signature.

Because it's a state law. For more on this, feel free to do your own fucking research if you are that curious. There is an excellent research tool called "the Internet" that you could use. Perhaps your parent(s) or other government-appointed care giver could help you with this.

I used to have a clever signature.

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Yeah, but I want the wallet ID card because I'd imagine that my (and it will be frequent) claim that I am an ordained minister will require some proof to back it up.

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That's what I'm thinking. I'll probably be a real asshole about it, too. Whenever I get into a religious debate and my argument gets sloppy, I can just pull out my official card and be like, "but you ain't got the cred like me, biatch!" End of story.

"There will always be room for good journalism and good reporting." --Rupert Murdoch

The ID card probably looks really crap. I can’t see it looking like a Religious version of a police warrant card.
People will problem just think you’ve just knocked that up on publisher or summit like that.


don't u wish you're post was hot like mine don't ya don't ya (from that crappy pop song)