Teenage Wildlife

IMPORTANT: Use your registry nickname as your username when logging in to Conversation Piece!


Free for All
   >> Coffee Shop
Thread views: 3382 *Threaded Mode

Pages in this thread: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | (show all)
diamondogz74
(freecloud)
03/05/06 10:19 AM
Political Correctness  

After MonkeyBoys continual strive for political correctness to be adhered to, thought you might like some examples.

Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore .

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

-------------

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" -
He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -
He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" -
He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging
out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE




London Bye Ta-Ta...

Marquis
(fetch a priest)
03/05/06 10:30 AM
Links for Tards new [re: diamondogz74]  

And Dogz' comedy routine springs headlong into 1994.

From the womb to the tomb, presume the unpredictable
Guns salute life rapidly, that's the ritual


diamondogz74
(freecloud)
03/05/06 10:34 AM
Party pooper new [re: Marquis]  

I thought this section particularly apt...

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


Damn! I forgot you're the cool, sophisticated Mister Manhattan



London Bye Ta-Ta...

Monkeyboy
(band intro)
03/05/06 12:02 PM
Andrew Dice Gay new [re: diamondogz74]  

This might be the most coherent yet most idiotic post you've ever made, Dogz. The words "flame" and "bait" come to mind.

"I was borned in england." - b_mardle

diamondogz74
(freecloud)
03/05/06 02:59 PM
Islamic marriage new [re: Monkeyboy]  

Subject: Islamic marriage
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006 14:04:41 EST


From BBC


BBC = The worlds most trusted broadcaster.

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".

Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.


What's you opinion on this, please?







London Bye Ta-Ta...

Pablo-Picasso
(acolyte)
03/05/06 03:01 PM
Re: Islamic marriage new [re: diamondogz74]  

Well at least he didn't have his wicked way and then leave her. Good on him to stand by the old goat. Good to see people taking their responsibilities seriously.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Illustrated Discography
Bassman
Helden

Persilot
(stardust savant)
03/05/06 03:03 PM
Reading your posts makes this oh so tempting new [re: diamondogz74]  



A scholar and a gentleman. Well at least one of them...

Pablo-Picasso
(acolyte)
03/05/06 03:03 PM
Re: Reading your posts makes this oh so tempting new [re: Persilot]  

On you or him?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Illustrated Discography
Bassman
Helden

Starlite
(acolyte)
03/05/06 03:13 PM
You don't even know what you're talking about new [re: diamondogz74]  

Fuck you, dogz.

Speaking of political correcness and sensitivity, isn't it cute how all the "negatives" regarding women in this post have to do with being sexually open?



diamondogz74
(freecloud)
03/05/06 03:14 PM
Re: Islamic marriage new [re: Pablo-Picasso]  

In reply to:

Good on him to stand by the old goat.


A lil bit of controversy there

I'm understanding the world less with each passing day.

Percy, Don't do it, It's not worth it.

Your neck is far too pretty.


London Bye Ta-Ta...


Pages in this thread: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | (show all)
*Threaded Mode
Jump to

Teenage Wildlife Davie Bowie | Email Us! Forums powered by WWWThreads v5.1.5perl

Teenage Wildlife Home Page Bowie's music Info on Bowie Other Media Have your say! Search the Site Help me!


Toolbar (Interact)

Etete Systems