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09/15/06 01:09 PM
Yogic meditation...  

Ah, yet another random encounter to add to the annals of my history. It's like there must be a giant blinking sticker on my head that says "TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE WEIRD".

So there I was walking down from the bus stop when I was suddenly accosted by a short bald gentleman, brandishing several books and smiling excitedly. I was brooding about something, so when he greeted me I stupidly stopped in confusion and blinked. Before I knew it I was engrossed in a discussion with no avenue of escape as he practically pinned me up against a phone box.

"I'm here to discuss the benefits of Yoga with you" he yammered happily. Now usually I would have tried to extricate myself from the situation, but perhaps because of his Yogic mind control powers I found myself unable to leave.

"There is a purpose in everything... your purpose brought you here to me." he cryptically grinned forcing a book into my hand.

"I think you'd enjoy reading this..." I looked down in amazement as he thrust a small tatty volume on the basic principals of Yoga into my trembling hands. "Of course, it is customary to make a small donation to the temple" he winked.

I was beginning to feel I was losing control of the situation, so I forced the book back into his hands. “Look,” I cried “lets just make this simple… there is no way in hell I’m gonna take up Yoga.”

“Ahhhh, do you believe in Karma my friend?” he queried.


“Well, I suspect that in order to expand your higher conscience you had better take what I’m about to tell you quite seriously”

He then proceeded to bombard me with a load of quasi mystical codswallop which several idle loitering school children seemed to find hilarious. To cut a long story short I only finally managed to escape by pretending I’d just received a phone call on my mobile then walking off very quickly. Now I’m terrified that I’ll run into this guy again…

Does this kind of thing happen regularly to other people or is there something particularly strange about my life?

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

09/15/06 01:49 PM
i wanna piss on your car door handle new [re: Persilot]  

it happens every day i come to work.

there's this guy who i not-so-affectionately call "the creepy cult guy" and he's tried 5 or 6 times to get me to come to one of his creepy cult meetings. he tries to recommend books and movies to me, (well, not just me -- he hits up anyone who will give him a listen for a split second) and just today he fliered everyone's car with a solicitation to donate to his massage school tuition. for every $15 we donate, he will give us a one-hour massage -- IN SIX MONTHS (after he's done with the course). He says he wants to do it as a sideline to his career here at the orifice, and that our donation would be an investment and a "Win-Win" situation. He wants to spread his message of the benefits of healing through massage and meditation. Barf.

I want to write "PRICK" in big black letters across the flier and stick it on his windshield.

or something much, much worse.


(cracked actor)
09/15/06 03:45 PM
Re: Yogic meditation... new [re: Persilot]  

Stop there Percy!
Was this guy a bit dirty and did he have an American accent?
This happened to me in the summer. I was just about to walk into water-stones the one near Fenwick’s when all of a sudden this guy comes up to me telling me about mediation showing me these books with quite noticeable tears. (not a good place to be selling books outside of a bookshop) I just said “soz mate and smiled” and walked off.

"I don't spell check my word" Jamie M Simpson 2003

09/15/06 05:59 PM
Re: Yogic meditation... new [re: JamieSim]  

In reply to:

Was this guy a bit dirty and did he have an American accent?

That's the guy. He had breath bad enough to stun a skunk. He did mention he'd been knocking about for around 6 months at the local temple.

You know, I keep thinking I've probably staggered past you sometime in Newcastle. I was probably the guy laughing manically with a flower in my hair trying to vault over concrete benches.

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

White Prism
(cracked actor)
09/16/06 08:55 AM
I smell like soap new [re: Persilot]  

In reply to:

It's like there must be a giant blinking sticker on my head that says "TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE WEIRD".

Percy, you're only accosted by weird strangers because 1) you're lonely 2) you look depressed 3) you smell of booze.

The homeless, the lunatic on the bus, etc., identify with your glum disposition and sense a confidant with whom they can easily talk.

Sometimes, if the lunatics are in a particularly friendly vein, they may try to help you, as this gentleman was clearly trying to do. There you were at the bus stop, miserable, doing nothing, when you could've been doing light exercises or reading some spiritual self-help manual to put that morose pout off your face.

True, if you had been engaged in your yoga routine while the school kids were at the bus stop, they would still have laughed at you, but this would've only shown their own insecurities because you were doing something positive.

Now that you mention it, Percy, I have numerous self-help manuals myself that I'm more than willing to part with for a nominal sum, not to mention a handful of Zamfir pan pipes CDs that my Gran is eager to depart with, all of which are available to all TWers through a quick PM.

Remember: this could be the first step in the right direction to put your life on track again.

In reply to:

Jamie!: (not a good place to be selling books outside of a bookshop)

Indeed, I hear the foyer of bowling alleys is a hotbed for literary enthusiasts.

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head . . .

(cracked actor)
09/17/06 10:13 AM
Re: Yogic meditation... new [re: Persilot]  

I thought I seen you once in Newcastle a few months ago. (I remember seeing that picture of you which caused bit of a scandal because dogz had it on his computer, or something like that I don’t recall so well.) but I definitely remember seeing someone who looked like you round greys monument.
It wouldn’t surprise me if it was me you seen I’m usually up in Newcastle with work and all and bloody uni starting up soon. If you do see me you you’re more than welcome to come up and shot something in my general direction.

"I don't spell check my word" Jamie M Simpson 2003

09/17/06 09:11 PM
Re: Yogic meditation... new [re: Persilot]  

I had a Hari Krishna come up to me once on campus. He pushed the Bhagavad Gita into my chest and said with a very awkward smile, "I have a book on Meditation."

That's it. He didn't say, "Would you like this book on meditation? Here, I'd like to show you this book on meditation. Etc." Nothing, just, "I have it."

So I said, "Good for you!" and walked away.

"Maybe you are jealous because your face will still look like an anus no matter what you do." ~Vanessa

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