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ziggfried
(acolyte)
03/14/07 03:54 AM
The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels  

5. The Sicilian (1987)

Mario Puzo’s literary sequel to The Godfather lost Corleone and Clemenza when translated to film (presumably for copyright reasons) and was directed by Michael Cimino the same way he made Heaven’s Gate – long, incomprehensibly-plotted, overlit, long, portentous, and long. A heavyweight supporting cast (John Turturro, Terence Stamp, Joss Ackland) can’t overcome the fact that sullen-faced Christopher Lambert lacks charisma in the lead. It’s easier to buy Lambert as a 500-year-old Highlander from the Planet Zeist than as a headstrong post-WWII Sicilian who rallies up peasant resistance to Mafia rule.

4. Jurassic Park (1993)

This movie revolutionised the use of realistic CGI in films, but that doesn’t change the fact that Michael Crichton’s brilliant, cautionary-tale novel was pulped from page to screen, going from techno-thriller to kiddie-flick. But hey, when you’ve got big scary dinosaurs roaring and romping about in sensurround sound, who cares if the human characters are lame ciphers? That the philosophical implications are all but gone? That Ian Malcolm’s morphine-induced existential rants are MIA or that John Hammond goes from bloodthirsty capitalist to cuddly kindly grandfather-type? If it wasn’t for its 1997 sequel, Jurassic Park would have represented the last-gasp of the juvenile Steven Spielberg who – fortunately – went on to (mostly) better things.

3. The Witches (1990)

Arguably Roald Dahl’s best novel, The Witches is a grotesque and funny tale that deserved a better movie adaptation (or better yet, no movie adaptation at all). Nicolas Roeg’s movie is grotesque, but singularly unfunny, with a happy ending tacked on that’s antithetical to Dahl. This was the last movie Jim Henson was involved with before he died, and it was the adaptation of his work that Roald Dahl lived to see. Apparently he hated it so much, he stood outside cinemas with a megaphone, telling people not to see it.

2. The Bell Jar (1979)

Sylvia Plath’s emotionally-shattering, semi-autobigraphical novel was thoroughly trashed by hack filmmaker Larry Peerce. Capturing the novel’s unique inner-monologue narrative was never going to be easy, but here Esther Greenwood’s alienation and descent into madness is played out like a disease-of-the-week TV movie, complete with a relentlessly whiney, unsympathetic lead performance by the clearly too-old-for-the-role Marilyn Hassett. Apart from the unintentionally-hilarious scenes featuring Hassett swanning around against a black background, reciting Plath’s poetry to camera, there’s nothing worth watching.

1. The Bonfire Of The Vanities (1990)

What began as a socially-relevant satire ended up as a movie that’s uttered in the same breath as Heaven’s Gate. Tom Wolfe’s best-selling panoramic novel – a relentless and relentlessly-witty scathing indictment of the 80s zeitgeist – led to the worst kind of movie: the unfunny comedy. Fatally miscast and wrong-headedly scripted, it reduced the characters to mannered caricatures (several with incongruous hearts of gold), and substitutes the novel’s nihilistic ending for a sappy courtroom speech that defies belief. Journalist Julie Salamon was granted access to the film’s production and followed director Brian De Palma around, later publishing The Devil's Candy: The Anatomy of a Hollywood Fiasco, an invaluable chronicle of how studio impositions, actors’ egos, and innumerable other developments can send a movie straight to hell.



Forgotten_Boy
(kook)
03/20/07 02:53 AM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: ziggfried]  

Jurassic Park was the coolest thing ever as a six year old. But then again so was the Super Mario Bros movie.

And The Witches makes me cringe. I don't know how people with Roeg and Henson's track record could fuck up something so badly that had the content to make a great movie to begin with. Evidently, they shot the book's original ending which moved Roald Dahl to tears, but STILL decided to include the saccharinely stupid ending.

Turn off the television - put on romantic vinyl

Strawman
(chameleon, comedian, corinthian and caricature)
03/20/07 09:05 AM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: ziggfried]  

The higher percentage of films based on good novels are worse than the latter, Zigmund.

A much better question to have put forth would be the requesting of peoples estimations on their ideas of good flicks made from poor novels.



Tristan
(legendary cowboy)
03/20/07 09:18 AM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: ziggfried]  

While watching Jurassic Park, I just bought the DVD recently, I kept asking myself why anyone would cast Laura 'I suck as an actress' Dern. Still not a bad buy for $3.99.

Trying to navigate TW reminds me of what it was like having dial-up service.


Mxy
(crash course raver)
03/20/07 04:14 PM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: Tristan]  

With a middle name like that, you can't expect much from her.

One day, Effee died.


Marquis
(wise like orangutan)
03/20/07 06:45 PM
Willow: The Novelization new [re: Mxy]  

In reply to:

good flicks made from poor novels


Jurassic Park would be high on my list. And 75% of Philip K. Dick-based stuff.

In reply to:

Laura 'I suck as an actress' Dern


I'd have said the same thing before Inland Empire.


They let the retard in the game and he went wild.

Sam_X
(crash course raver)
03/20/07 09:26 PM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: Tristan]  

Didn't like Blue Velvet / Wild At Heart, eh?

~
Heaven is a place where
Nothing ever happens


Tristan
(legendary cowboy)
03/21/07 06:57 PM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: Sam_X]  

Actually I love Blue Velvet.

Trying to navigate TW reminds me of what it was like having dial-up service.


thinwhiteme
(wild eyed peoploid)
03/24/07 10:50 AM
Re: The Five Worst Movies Based On (Good) Novels new [re: Tristan]  

Laura Dern doesn't play in Blue Velvet. But while where talking about Lynch.
Dune is a bad movie/Great Book

And what about:
Harry Potter?
Brokeback Mountain?
Neverending Story?

Blade Runner is so different from the book, you just can't compare

The Man Who Fell To Earth?




anisette
(acolyte)
03/24/07 11:40 AM
which blue velvet did you see? new [re: thinwhiteme]  

In reply to:

Laura Dern doesn't play in Blue Velvet.


oh, really?

Guy m'a fait sentir la sperme!


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