I once knew a girl who was passing through the area and going to my church. She was unique because although she was young, she was very successful, making about $100,000 a year. She made an interesting comment: "I'll only marry a man who makes as much as me."

I didn't understand the comment at the time, but now I do. The girl would only marry someone on her income level because of the possibility of divorce. If the man was poorer, he would get half of her assets. This is unthinkable to a woman, although women financially devastate their husbands in the divorce courts every day.

The girl's comment was also interesting because it reveals how a woman looks at marriage: as a business arrangement. Women are not romantic the way men are, when it comes to marriage, they are accountants.

Yes, that is true of every woman. You are so wise paino.

You could learn a bit more about all women's attitudes to marriage by watching the Coen Brothers' film Intolerable Cruelty.


Love is the Province of the Brave

I have a lot more money than my (second) husband, but it doesn't matter either to him or to me. My will leaves it all to my kids and he doesn't want any of it if I die before he does.

I didn't enter my first marriage with the thought that it might end one day. In fact I stayed in it too long. I feel that I earned half of the marital assets because we worked for them together. In different ways, but together. In fact I took 2/3 less than my entitlement so my daughter would not lose her home (mothers tend to do things like that yanno). We are not all vindictive bitches!

Second marriage was and is for love. Don't care about the money

The difference between pleasure and pain is perception

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I have a lot more money than my (second) husband, but it doesn't matter either to him or to me. My will leaves it all to my kids and he doesn't want any of it if I die before he does.

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Who said anything about your will? In case of divorce, your husband deserves half of your assets. Why? Because he's earned it, he deserves it. You two have worked for them together, in different ways, but together. Even you believe this, see your own quote below:

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I feel that I earned half of the marital assets because we worked for them together. In different ways, but together.

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In fact I took 2/3 less than my entitlement so my daughter would not lose her home

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So, your husband lost the home that he bought too? Where did he live while his ex-wfe and child enjoyed the beautiful home? A cheap one room apartment?

Edited to add that I wonder where you got your "assets" ? I'm guessing you sold your house from your first marrieage?

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Who said anything about your will? In case of divorce, your husband deserves half of your assets. Why? Because he's earned it, he deserves it. You two have worked for them together, in different ways, but together.

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I had that money before we got together. My assets are willed to my children and are in my name only. My current husband does not want anything from me if we divorce and he will put that in writing if necessary. Just because he is entitled to it, doesn't mean he wants any of it. However it is more likely that he will die before me as he has multiple health issues.

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So, your husband lost the home that he bought too? Where did he live while his ex-wfe and child enjoyed the beautiful home? A cheap one room apartment?

Edited to add that I wonder where you got your "assets" ? I'm guessing you sold your house from your first marrieage?

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My ex husband still has the farm and the family home. I was the one who moved out. He borrowed money to pay the property settlement. I took that 1/3 less entitlement so that the farm would not have to be sold. My daughter lives with him, and not with me. She chose this - at 14 she was old enough to make up her mind who she wanted to live with. She's 19 now and away at university but still goes back there for semester breaks.

The difference between pleasure and pain is perception

Yeah, see paino, your aiery faeiry notions of marriage from reading too many Who Weeklys at the supermarket checkout don't really apply to anyone from the real world who is or has been actually married. It works differently from those mags. Not always for the better I admit, but very differently.

Now, get back to watching Intolerable Cruelty before we burst your bubble


Love is the Province of the Brave

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"I'll only marry a man who makes as much as me."

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My guess is she just wants a relationship based on equality. When women who have money start talking about money they usually have something else on mind - control. Clearly your friend doesn't want to be controlled but she doesn't want to control either. (what a bore)

My ass belongs on your face.

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We are not all vindictive bitches!

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Actually it's the man who's being very gracious in your situation.
Proving my point: men marry for love, women marry as a business arrangement.

Quoted from soul love child:

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Yeah, see paino, your .... notions of marriage.... don't really apply to anyone from the real world who is or has been actually married.

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Really? They don't apply to anyone? One anecdotal incident disproves everything that I've said? Ever heard of Heather Mills? Anna Nicole Smith?

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Yeah, see paino, your aiery faeiry notions of marriage from reading too many Who Weeklys at the supermarket checkout don't really apply to anyone from the real world who is or has been actually married.

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One anecdotal incident disproves everything that I've said? Ever heard of Heather Mills? Anna Nicole Smith?

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Thanks for hammering home my point so succinctly, and with two such tragic women


Love is the Province of the Brave

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Actually it's the man who's being very gracious in your situation.
Proving my point: men marry for love, women marry as a business arrangement.

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Ya reckon??? I could have forced the sale of the farm. Believe me I was tempted when he started behaving like a total prick.

However my daughter and her happiness mean much more to me than a few thousand bucks.

The difference between pleasure and pain is perception