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Persilot
(acolyte)
11/17/07 01:19 PM
We'll be back after these important messages...  

Personally I have no idea whether TV advertising around the world is actually as dire as it is swiftly becoming in Britain, but if it bears even 0.000000000000001% similarity to the piss poor efforts I see every time I turn on my goggle box, then I grieve for a once proud and effective industry. Admittedly I've never been a big fan of adverts; someone trying to screw up your brain so you want to go out and buy totally useless shit (like a robot hoover that gets stuck under the sofa and breaks down, forcing one to extract it with a large broom then beat it in frustration... {don't ask}) but there was a time when you could at least appreciate the artistry and subtlety of television advertising.

Think I'm being uncharacteristically unkind to the industry, well here are some examples of adverts that have really caused my bile to rise recently.

1) An advert for a text service that will send you a name for your baby. Anyone stupid or shallow enough to name their baby in this manner deserves to have their mobile phone shoved up their arse then rung repeatedly (although I'm told somepeople enjoy this type of thing) Having said that maybe the baby name generator could actually do a better job than some of the parents anyway...

2) CMON, CMON!!! For anyone who hasn't seen this, it involves a series of stuffed toys driving a car around shouting CMON CMON with reggae music in the background. For some reason some people think this is great and you can even buy facsimiles of the dolls in various turd outlet shops. If I see anyone buy one, I may be tempted to try and drive over them in a car shouting CMON CMON.

3) DVLA Personal License plate service. Quite why this totally useless and stupid service (which only appeals to boy racers and nobheads) needs to be advertised anyway, I'm not sure. The advert features a four year old driving a tiny electric car around and registering for his own number plate. The only way I can express my contempt for this advert is with the following phrase WANKY SPUNK, WANKY SPUNK, WANKY SPUNK.

4) Then there's.... oh why the hell am I bothering to list them all. Truth be told there are very few adverts that don't annoy me. Personally I'd just be interested to know if this is just a feature of my own bitterness and irritability or if other people are similarly frustrated. Any hilariously bad adverts in other countries (even better if the joke doesn't translate very well)

- Percy

P.S Oh yeah, I'm back again to vent my bile once more (as if you didn't notice). I'm full to the brim and need some release (not in a dirty way Claude). Anything interesting happening round here at the mo?

Me? Like you? Like that?!?

theidiot2
(electric tomato)
11/17/07 09:46 PM
Re: We'll be back after these important messages.. new [re: Persilot]  

1. "42% off car mortgages [or something] with axa studentfirst deal. it's logic, not philosophy."

2. AIB (Allied Irish Banks) credit card named... "Be" - never again lack ontological authenticity with our handy purchasing/debt device.


Ireland is a truly shit country these days.*




*It was never great, but now it's offensively bad.


Everyday I write the book

Strawman
(chameleon, comedian, corinthian and caricature)
11/18/07 06:05 AM
Re: We'll be back after these important messages... new [re: Persilot]  

Bet you like this one though.



guiltpuppy
(stardust savant)
11/18/07 10:19 AM
Re: We'll be back after these important messages.. new [re: Strawman]  

chocolates made from gorilla orgasm

TW's Top Fag!

EuropeanCanon
(crash course raver)
11/18/07 10:29 AM
For Smash Get Mashed new [re: Persilot]  

Whilst it's true that TV adverts frequently fail to hit the advertising heights once occupied by the likes of Don Amott, King of Caravans there's a simple remedy to alleviate this collective advertising dirge: just drop a tab of acid and you'll experience a moment of great epiphany when you realise that, unbeknown to the general public, all adverts are full of subliminal drug messages known only to a select few at 5 in the morning. You'll therefore have a newly discovered sense of appreciation for advertisers, or rather the graphics department at advertising companies, when you realise that they're all on Class A's and sending hidden messages to the kids. Only Smarties have the answer indeed.

However, in a disclaimer of sorts, you'll discover as well that absolutely everybody who appears on TV is also off their tits, from children’s TV presenters to the Queen of England. So from a position of enlightenment the world will suddenly seem a bewildering place once more.


God's footballer hears the voices of angels
Above the choir at Molineux


Persilot
(acolyte)
11/18/07 10:41 AM
Re: For Smash Get Mashed new [re: EuropeanCanon]  

Hmmm, whilst it is true that I enjoy the Cadbury's gorilla advert, it falls down in one important respect. It doesn't make me want to go out and buy chocolate.

In reply to:

everybody who appears on TV is also off their tits


Especially the news readers...

Me? Like you? Like that?!?


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