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Marquis
(wise like orangutan)
10/23/06 01:33 PM
Cineastes Unite new [re: Remade/Remodeled]  

On Friday:

The Prestige

Plot - Even a bravura performance from David Bowie's moustache - not to mention the best trailer since, well, ever -can't salvage this muddled "thriller" about rival magicians Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale.

Subplot - Marquis struggles to remain interested in the movie, having figured out it's "twist" ending some 45 minutes in.

On Sunday:

Jackass Number Two

Plot - None, but then, you didn't expect one, did you?

Subplot - Will my high last long enough to make the last 30 minutes funny, or will all of this just start to seem exhausting?

Put it to his head and said, "Ya scared ain't ya?"
He said, "Hustler for death, no Heaven for a gangsta."


Bamboo7
(crash course raver)
10/23/06 06:31 PM
Re: Cineastes Unite new [re: Marquis]  

In reply to:

Marquis struggles to remain interested in the movie, having figured out it's "twist" ending some 45 minutes in.


You sure it wasn't that coupled with a slight case of ADD?


If I live in a tower, Dogz, you live in a fantastic gay castle of bright pink bullshit floating on magical clouds of horrible markup in the sky. ~ Dan again

Marquis
(wise like orangutan)
10/23/06 06:35 PM
On the Lift new [re: Bamboo7]  

Nah. I've sat through longer, more confusing, less action-packed movies with no problems.

And anyway, I take an Adderall once a week.

Put it to his head and said, "Ya scared ain't ya?"
He said, "Hustler for death, no Heaven for a gangsta."


Remade/Remodeled
(acolyte)
03/15/11 11:51 PM
Mulligan new [re: EmpireStateHuman]  

Never Let Me Go

Hypothesis: Do clones bred from the dregs of society to be organ donors and die in their late 20s have souls?

Results: Inconclusive

SPOILER ALERT: She totally lets him go.

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre

KAdministrator
(thunder ocean)
03/16/11 02:49 PM
Re: Summarise the last movie you saw... new [re: EmpireStateHuman]  

Black Swan

The plot: A daughter of an overprotective mother grows up. 4/5ths into the movie the writers realise there are a 1000 movies with that same theme, and resultingly the movie ends with the protagonist going crazy.

The subplot: All ballet dancers are kinky anorectics.

Trololololololololololololololololo

Auntie Prism
(stardust savant)
03/16/11 04:27 PM
Too busy to write (and watch) this shit new [re: K]  

Film: One-Eyed Jacks (1961)

The premise: Marlon Brando ('The Kid') seeks to enact revenge on Karl Malden, his former partner-turned-sheriff, who left him out to dry in a bank raid.

Pretty as a picture: Brando's sole effort as a director. Rumours are he was tiring to work with (and may have been responsible for Kubrick's deserting the project). If only someone had told him his blue screen looked like toss.

Verdict: Better than some criticism would have you believe. Malden makes it work.


Film: The Outlaw (1943)

If Victor Herbert scored a Western: Another Billy the Kid spin off, shown on the BBC last week because its heroine, Jane Russell had died. Its ropey plot and intrusive score have left some to conclude that Russell's 'assets' are the saving grace of the movie.

Saving grace: It does contain a pretty neat single entendre at one point, as Jack Buetel points his thing: 'Will you keep your eyes open? Will you look right at me while I do it?'

But yeah: Russell's assets are the saving grace of the movie.


Film: Scarface (1932)

He doesn't have a drinking problem 'cept when he can't get a drink: Both this and The Outlaw (above) were directed by Howard Hughes. Gang warfare and bootlegging, supposedly based loosely on Al Capone's life.

A-and?: It was okay, even though the (no doubt necessary) intrusive moralising affected the predictability of the plot. It's also an archetype film of sorts.

Streak of Piss: In the film's favour, Hughes stored his own urine in jars, and we like those kinda people around here. This is relevant.


Film: Red River (1948)

The boy in the boat: John Wayne 'adopts' a son, Montgomery Clift, as he attempts to drive cattle along a perilous path from Texas to Kansas. Clift has to prove to Wayne he isn't a pansy. Wayne slips in and out of paranoia, and shoots the men who desert the trail. But maybe, underneath, he has tender emotions for Clift?

Tan lines: I'd be astonished if slash fiction doesn't exist.

Rather than words comes the thought of high windows

Marquis
(wise like orangutan)
03/16/11 05:51 PM
Oh, You've Torn Your Coat! [re: Auntie Prism]  

Produced by Hughes, innit? And directed by the other double H, Howard Hawks, who was also at the helm of my current favorite thing to watch 15 minutes of before passing out drunk on a Saturday night, Bringing Up Baby.

Anyway, I had forgotten about this thread, and I love it.

Hall Pass (2011)

The Rub - The Farrelly Brothers try to live down Fever Pitch and The Heartbreak Kid by paying lip service to the idea that monogamy isn't for everyone, but get bored and fill up the slack with diarrhea farts.

The Tug - Outside of 2 or 3 scenes (most notably the Stephen Merchant-centric coda), a disheartening mess. Jenna Fischer has the on-screen charisma of a bale of wet hay.

Tropical Malady (2004)

Pre-Tiger - A Thai soldier begins a tentative romance with a local village boy, which seems to be going well...

Post-Tiger - ...until halfway through, when the film more or less resets, and the soldier is now hunting his would-be lover through the jungle, said lover now being some sort of ghostly tiger spirit.

I Saw The Devil (2010)

Hrmmm - Korean director Kim Ji-Woon wonders: could the quest for revenge cause a person to do some fucked up shit? Uh...dude, have you seen any of the movies your countrymen have been making for the last decade?

DUH - Yep, it does. It just takes an hour longer than it should as the pointless butcherings pile up. If Choi Min-Sik weren't such fun to watch, I might have left this one early.

i'm 2 much for these niggas and 3 much for these hos

schizophrenic
(acolyte)
03/16/11 06:37 PM
Re: Summarise the last movie you saw... new [re: EmpireStateHuman]  

The Dead Pool (1988):

Why?: Clint Eastwood plays Dirty Harry for the fifth (and last) time, this time looking into a series of murders linked to the titular "dead pool". Also, a whole bunch of other shit happens because this movie has exactly five minutes of actual plot.

No seriously, why?: Motherfucking TOY CAR CHASE SEQUENCE



Remade/Remodeled
(acolyte)
03/16/11 07:28 PM
Re: Summarise the last movie you saw... new [re: schizophrenic]  

That's the one with Jim Carrey playing (for all intents and purposes) Axl Rose, right?

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre

schizophrenic
(acolyte)
03/17/11 00:39 AM
Re: Summarise the last movie you saw... new [re: Remade/Remodeled]  

Yup... that's the one. I take it you've seen this sad, sad excuse for a film?




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