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(cracked actor)
08/30/05 07:35 PM
Re: Like being an over-conscious teen all over aga new [re: Persilot]  

Drat, I knew someone would pick me up over that

Dignity is valuable, but our lives are valuable too.

08/30/05 08:55 PM
Talking Points new [re: Pablo-Picasso]  

Alright, now. It seems like applying for moderizzlehood is de rigeur at the moment, so before this whirlwind of insanity gets completely out of hand, I'd like to outline my own qualifications. Understand, this isn't exactly a bid for candidacy, more of something to fall back on as a reference should the need arise. And so, to soothe your troubled minds:

Respec', yo

For you, the common poster; for the position itself; for TW. This is what Our Man Marquis brings to the table. In all my harangues, I don't believe I've ever called for the heads of our current mods. Sure, I've disagreed or questioned, but I've also tried to make it clear that I respect their collective wisdom. I'm not out to run roughshod over the guidelines set up by Evan, Adam, and the rest of the Mod Squad - I'm out to clarify where clarity is needed, and to enforce where enforcement is needed.

Fear Thee Not, Ye Idiots

Now this, I suspect, is why eraserhead said that I would seem to be a terrible choice: I've had no shortage of arguments with any number of posters, and have been rather vocal on several occasions about banning That Certain Someone. The apt metaphor here, I think, is Armchair Quarterbacking.

See, from the safe confines of my couch, I wouldn't hesitate to put Peyton Manning back under center should he suffer a mild concussion, nor would I hesitate to start a promising rookie over, say, Rod Gardner. But the real coaches of these teams have other concerns to address - contracts, personalities, etc., etc. Control becomes a different animal altogether when one actually has some sort of power.

How does this apply? Well, you see, as a common Plebe Poster, I've got little recourse against actions like Dogz' overposting other than to harrass him at every turn and periodically plead with the powers that be to get rid of him. As a mod, though, with the power of banning at my fingertips, the decision becomes much more difficult. Better still, there are things I can do which are less severe than banning - threatening PMs, individual post deletion, thread locking - which I feel can serve to protect the integrity of the boards while still allowing plenty of leeway for the grammatically impaired to remain contributors.

Long story short: my first act as mod would not, as you might suspect, be to ban Dogz for all eternity. I would hope, rather, to use my newfound authority to get through his thick skull the notion of restraint. And, well, yeah, I'd probably delete a few "I Agree" posts for good measure.

Paying the Cost to Be the Boss

Simply put: I've put in my time here. Moreover, I've never stormed off in a huff and claimed that I was done with the place. Yes, I've had one or two prolonged periods of absence, but these were due to lack of internet, not getting fed up with the boards. Yes, there are plenty of absent posters I miss, but I'm not going to harp on about the good old days: I'm here to give TW a better present - and future!

Add this to the fact that my record of 17 Real-Life Meet-Ups is unlikely to be challenged anytime soon - or at least until you Londoners get it together - and I think you'll find that I truly am a man of the people.

Mo' Internet, Fewer Problems

In two days, I'm going to quit smoking. What does this mean for you? Well, not much. But for me, it means freeing up enough money to finally get some fuckin' internet up in this bitch (i.e. in my house). As a lazy stoner with a do-nothing job, I can promise you eternal vigilance.

What's my motherfuckin' name?

My name has been on the fingertips - and in the minds - of our Mods for some time, as evidenced by the Mod Forum threads devoted to adoring me.

Summation: Asskissing

If nothing else, this thread should serve to remind us all of the unimpeachable greatness of Adam. We come to him, all sturm and drang, with piles of grievances and unformed demands, and Adam gives us back a neat list of carefully thought-out concerns. Kudos! Accolades!

And equal props to our incumbent mods, too. I think it's no small achievement for EJ and Ohro to have become two of TWs most well-liked posters without making a habit out of feasting on newbies and other droolers. Even the much-maligned (and apparently absent?) Sysyio had his heart in the right place. And Tati? Well, she was hot, so that counts for something.

If elected to join this pantheon of genius (too much? ), I promise to approach the job with the full-bent of my seriousness, to weigh and consider, but also to take action, and above all to give careful consideration to each of my many constituents. Remember, guys, my office is always open.

Now: to sit back and hope that Dara doesn't decide to run.

Literature is [the art] best suited to challenging absolutes of all kinds. Because it is in its origin the schismatic Other of the sacred (and authorless) text, so it is also the art most likely to fill our god-shaped holes

08/30/05 10:45 PM
record breaking new [re: Marquis]  

Marquis, hate to piss on your very fine post, but I think we Melbourne TWers beat your 17 people meetup record by a mile..... there were about 40 us just at the pre gig1 drinks, at least half of them were TW members!

The basic list
I've also met a couple of internationals like Wildwind and Gfried and Mike Harvey (yeah, I know he doesn't post here anymore).

Get Bowie Back Downunder!
GBBD 2005 !!!!

(electric tomato)
08/30/05 10:47 PM
Re: Talking Points new [re: Marquis]  

I'd like to be allowed to vote, just so I can vote for Winnie the Pooh. It's a little tradition of mine to vote for him in every election I can vote at.

Mxy's Bizarre Webcomic. Updated daily.

08/30/05 11:00 PM
Soul Purpose new [re: SoulLoveChild]  

Well, discounting the fact that I recognized a scant dozen TWers in your list, I think it's important to note that this here Mod-in-Waiting isn't just about mass gatherings at concerts.

No, I've supped pints with SoS in London, gone clubbin' with StrangeDrugs in Detroit, strolled the streets of North Beach with Glitterbot, sold a Leonard Cohen CD to decibel, scoffed at the hippies of Boulder with WildWind, and cruised the darkened avenues of Northern Mass with tom wood himself!

You see, I'm all about the people.

But seriously...that's a record I wouldn't really want to hold, so thanks

Literature is [the art] best suited to challenging absolutes of all kinds. Because it is in its origin the schismatic Other of the sacred (and authorless) text, so it is also the art most likely to fill our god-shaped holes

08/30/05 11:45 PM
Soul Kind of Feeling new [re: Marquis]  

Ah Marquis, as a prospective moderator you need to look at the bigger picture. You recognise a scant dozen of reasonably current posters while you discount some of the very original members of this site. Just because they don't post here now - for reasons that many many long term posters have left - does not mean they are not valid members of the Teenage Wildlife phenomenon!

And you're right, classing me standing alongside silky_sally at gigs for two nights straight doesn't really cut the mustard, but hosting WildWind in my mountain home, attending toy fairs with Adam (we turned up on the wrong weekend, it was supposed to be a cd fair!), going to Wunda's wedding in NZ, drinking 96dbFreak and downunder2 under the table in Sydney after a play we all attended together, selling rare Bowie records to poorsoul (yes, I do know the gender, no, I'm not telling ) and cooking a special dinner for Gfried in my Melbourne pad last year does account for something, does it not?

This place is a great place for friendships. I hope to race you down a mountain on skis sometime
And as for not really wanting to hold the record... I must remind you that is was you who brought it up

Get Bowie Back Downunder!
GBBD 2005 !!!!

08/30/05 11:48 PM
Yeah, fuck you all anyways! new [re: Marquis]  

And has anyone bothered to visit me? No! Not one fucking person has so much as lied about wanting to. Elvenlass and QueenDice live less than an hour away and have they even expressed the slightest interest in a meetup? Fuck no! QueenDice won't even add me to her myspace friend list and she has, like 6 million people on it who I know she's never met! It's not like I'm a stalker or anything. Alright, I think I may have included her in one or two "Who I'd Do" lists in the past. And, now that I think about it, I think she was probably about 16 at the time. But all that aside, I'm not any more terrifying than your average 28 year old college student who spends an inordinate amount of time online and works a job that would drive the average person insane from the sheer solitude. And I like kittens!

Is this what I get for being the pillar of morality and fine posting that I am here at Teenage Wildlife? It's not exactly like I'm a pain in the ass, either. Hell, I'm damn fun! Think of all the boozy times you could have with me. And by "you," I mean YOU reading this post right now. Can you think of anyone on Teenage Wildlife who would be more intriguing, more of an enigma, or at the very least more pathetic to visit? No, you can't. And fuck you if you can.

Well, you know what, Teenage Wildlife: I don't need you. It's not like I want to meat any of you faggots anyways. Now just leave me aloooone!!.....

"You can rest easy, ma'am. Your daughter isn't my type. You see, I'm into boys. Not all registered sex offenders are alike, you know."

08/30/05 11:50 PM
Re: Soul Kind of Feeling new [re: SoulLoveChild]  

Kiss my ass, all of you.

"You can rest easy, ma'am. Your daughter isn't my type. You see, I'm into boys. Not all registered sex offenders are alike, you know."

(stardust savant)
08/31/05 00:01 AM
Re: Yeah, fuck you all anyways! new [re: Monkeyboy]  

I'd love to visit but I don't think I'll be able to resist the temptation of getting you super drunk and giving you a good spank against your free will.

Also, I don't think they'll let me enter the US of A with my heavy Eastern accent

Share Zi Love

(cracked actor)
08/31/05 00:14 AM
Re: Yeah, fuck you all anyways! new [re: Monkeyboy]  

I am most likely going to LA in November, maybe we'll have to go for a few beers.

Then, after you are drunk, I will rape and rob you. Bitch.

Ever Try Oral Sex With A Miniature
Rubberized Homo-Replica?

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