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Black Prism
(cracked actor)
02/22/06 04:16 PM
Saving TW (thread of the week)  

Every time I visit TW there seems to talk of 'saving TW' and the measures that should be taken to revive it. However, I wonder if we can reach consensus on what TW should be saved from.

The object of this thread: determine TW's bete noire and suggest methods to ensure its survival. Here are some potential candidates:

- free speech
- alter egos
- Sysiyetti's fascism
- self-referential topics
- repeat topics
- feral facial hair
- Muslims

Of course, if you're really smart, Plume, you can come up with suggestions of your own!

I'll give an example:

Problem: facial hair: some posters sport such pilose hair that it infringes on their field of vision and, I believe, obscures the bottom line of the keyboard, explaining why they're so inept operating the space, comma and full-stop keys. This is a slippery slope and soon TW will be one huge hotch-potch of miscommunication.

Resolution: arrange a whip round at pablo's local barbers for a thorough cutting and waxing session, eliminating his delicate tendrils and, consequently, his pervasive corrigenda.

That'll do for now. But don't worry Pablo; I have equally riveting topics ensiled for next month's visit.


[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Pablo-Picasso
(acolyte)
02/22/06 04:22 PM
Re: Saving TW (thread of the week) new [re: Black Prism]  

IllwriteitinmydiaryIliterallycantwait
Shouldntthisbethreadofthemonth

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Illustrated Discography
Bassman
Helden

poopicraft
(wide eyed peeploid)
02/22/06 11:54 PM
Re: Saving TW (thread of the week) new [re: Black Prism]  

If there’s one thing that TW has going for it, it’s that it’s educational. I’ve learned two new words today:

pi·lose also pi·lous (-ls) adj.
Covered with fine soft hair.

cor·ri·gen·dum n. pl. cor·ri·gen·da (-d)
1. An error to be corrected, especially a printer's error.
2. A list of errors in a book along with their corrections.

Now, of course, the challenge is to use them both in the same spoken sentence, in front of someone I want to impress with my erudition.

'Ullo John! Gotta New Motor?

Beulah
(grinning soul)
02/23/06 04:14 AM
The average TWer new [re: Black Prism]  

This happens to us everytime we take a seat in front of our pc's:





Perl actually stands for Pathologically Eclectic Rubbish Lister, but don't tell anyone I said that.

Shelle
(cracked actor)
02/27/06 02:45 PM
OK, I'll play new [re: Black Prism]  

The problem with TW is that not enough hot intelligent men are sending me PMs to hit on me recently. In fact, in recent weeks, the only propositional PMs I've received have all been from power2charm. And he qualifies neither as hot nor intelligent, both literally and metaphorically.

The fact that he does this with remarkable persistence, and using a wide array of alter egos all of whom he goes to the trouble of making about 10 posts each with first in the vain hope of making them look legit is scant consolation.

Resolution: all hot intelligent men are commanded to PM me at their convenience, enclosing recent photographs of themselves in their briefs. The briefs are optional.

Let's all make TW great again.

Extremists on both sides are driving the bus. Not just that, but they've persuaded the rest of us to pay to have the bus converted into a tank, and we're not allowed to look outside to see for ourselves what's really going on.


power2charm
(kook)
02/27/06 06:56 PM
Green Eggs and Ham was sucksville new [re: Black Prism]  

Would resurrecting the Mann Booker thread help, Colored Prism? Because I'm 20 pages from the end of The Sea and just chomping at the bit to shoot my wad about it. I've also managed a shortlister and a longlister since Christmas. These are surefire topics to drive Shelle far from us. Don't be surprised if her boyfriend, "Peter", appears on the thread just to get some respite from her.

(Tip for TWers: I've discovered that employing the term "wad" adds zip to just about any post. Try it!)

____
Kid, you've paid your dues...dues and dues. ~J. Tweedy

Monkeyboy
(band intro)
02/27/06 07:21 PM
By the way... new [re: Shelle]  

...same goes for hot, intelligent girls and my PM inbox. Intelligence optional.

"I was borned in england." - b_mardle

stick
(wild eyed peoploid)
02/27/06 10:36 PM
menu options have changed new [re: Monkeyboy]  

intelligence is the precedent
in the digital world
bodies in bars
undulate without reason



stick
(wild eyed peoploid)
02/27/06 10:39 PM
Wadih Hekmi new [re: power2charm]  

Take this wad and shove it
Is it enough?
Complained the librarian
As she crossed her legs



Black Prism
(cracked actor)
02/28/06 01:53 PM
Re: Green Eggs and Ham was sucksville new [re: power2charm]  

It's entirely down to you, sir. I'm certainly interested in your opinions. I was hoping I might've read one or two more on the list myself by now, if only by accident, but I don't think I have, and it was that long ago I've no idea where I was at. I have Coetzee's Disgrace, presently unread, which I've just noticed is a former winner (I shall return to this in a moment).

Re. The Sea.... I definitely remember reading the first 50 pages or so, and objecting to one sentence in partic ... oh no, I remember: there was some letter reprinted in full which sounded so contrived and verbose -- and verbose in a way that really typified Murdoch's style up to that point in a NdPlume I-lost-my-thread-eight-paragraphs-ago-but-I'm still-gonna-patronise-you-in-every-way-I-know-how-kinda-way -- that I decided I couldn't be fooked wading through another 500 pages of the same. Assuming that (and it was a somewhat premature assumption - I vaguely remember having more pressing stuff to do at the time, as opposed to thinking the book outright bad) it all panned out to be the same. Plus, it was a library book, and I feel way less obliged to finish library books than books I've shelled out for myself.

I've since found the list of previous Nobel Prize lit winners, I've been playing around with that somewhat. As I'm sure you know, Nob Prizes aren't usually given for a specific work; it's more lifetime contribution stuff. Anyway, it's sorta spurred me into Steinbeck, Gide and Sartre (with all of whom I was previously completely unfamiliar ). I've also discovered that Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha is a formidable contender for suckiest novel EVVVVAAA! Future already-purchased* reads from the list include: Jose Saramago's The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, Thomas Mann's The Magic Mountain, and the aforementioned Coetzee.

At the moment, however, I'm doin' a double whammy of Don Quixote (2/3 through) and John Dos Passos' USA (barely started), so don't please expect me on ya thread any time soon.

*And before you proclaim me outright exuberant for buyin' all this shit I haven't yet read, I'll post as my defence the fact Waterstones' book vouchers are still valid until the end of April, at which point I hope to have acquired all of this year's reading material .

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Bamboo7
(electric tomato)
02/28/06 02:22 PM
Re: Green Eggs and Ham was sucksville new [re: Black Prism]  

In reply to:

Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha is a formidable contender for suckiest novel EVVVVAAA!


I smell a new poll thread!




Shelle
(cracked actor)
02/28/06 02:29 PM
Hang a "No gurls aloud" on your treehouse new [re: power2charm]  

In reply to:

I'm 20 pages from the end of The Sea and just chomping at the bit to shoot my wad about it



You know, there are specialist sites where you could go do this sort of thing.

If you were genuinely interested in exchanging thoughts and ideas on great literature, that is.

But of course, that's not what you're after, is it? Your game is a rather feeble effort to appear well read and smart in front of a bunch of people you assume - almost certainly incorrectly - are less well read and smart than yourself.

In reply to:

drive Shelle far from us



*slaps forehead* How do I keep forgetting what a bunch of fags you are?

Extremists on both sides are driving the bus. Not just that, but they've persuaded the rest of us to pay to have the bus converted into a tank, and we're not allowed to look outside to see for ourselves what's really going on.


Black Prism
(cracked actor)
02/28/06 02:47 PM
subject new [re: Bamboo7]  

Yeah, well. When I say suckiest EVVVAAAR, I mean, simply, that it sucks. There's bound to be some volume of Mills and Boon or whatever that blows it outta . . . . . . Bombay . . .

But given that Siddhartha was supposedly about spiritual development/the meaning of life, etc., it all seemed incredibly cliched and old and superficial. Plus Hesse (or the translator . . . but, yeah, actually, probably Hesse) decided to detail every little thought that went through people's heads that became so formulaic I began to anticipate sentences eight lines in advance. Most spiritual books/manuals benefit from a simplified style, but this one really got on my tits.

Just in case anyone wanted a justification . . .

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Beltene
(acolyte)
02/28/06 04:19 PM
Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern... new [re: Black Prism]  

In reply to:

the translator . . . but, yeah, actually, probably Hesse


Jesus was a masochist. (according to my translation of the bible)

You see, darling...my ass does belong on your face! You just don't know it yet.

Shelle
(cracked actor)
02/28/06 05:28 PM
Re: Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern... new [re: Beltene]  

In reply to:

Jesus was a masochist. (according to my translation of the bible)



Fuckengoodonezing!

Extremists on both sides are driving the bus. Not just that, but they've persuaded the rest of us to pay to have the bus converted into a tank, and we're not allowed to look outside to see for ourselves what's really going on.


power2charm
(kook)
02/28/06 09:13 PM
The Smarter than Shelle Club: Mongoloids welcome! new [re: Shelle]  

Shellebert, you appear to be perturbed. I apologize that I have no opinion to share about Gene Simmons or you.

I regret you don't care to post anything that hasn't just now popped into your elongated head.

In reply to:

*slaps forehead*


May I suggest accessorizing with a cast-iron skillet?

This year's Booker Prize winner, The Sea, by John Banville, is only 195 pages long, about the same length as the last book you read (Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the KY Jelly in Daddy's Toolbox). Why don't you put down your Cosmo and give it a go?

____
Kid, you've paid your dues...dues and dues. ~J. Tweedy

Beltene
(acolyte)
02/28/06 10:44 PM
Re: The Smarter than Shelle Club: p2c not welcome new [re: power2charm]  

In reply to:

Shelle says: But of course, that's not what you're after, is it? Your game is a rather feeble effort to appear well read and smart in front of a bunch of people you assume - almost certainly incorrectly - are less well read and smart than yourself


In reply to:

power2charm confirms: this year's blah blah, The Sea, by blah Banville, is only blah pages long, about blah, I'm so much smarter than you, blah





You see, darling...my ass does belong on your face! You just don't know it yet.

Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/01/06 01:46 PM
Putting the Hell into Shelle new [re: power2charm]  

Ah right. *That* The Sea, not Iris Murdoch's tautologically titled novel. I was very impressed by Birchwood, an earlier novel of Banville's, which I guess I'd like to elaborate on if the Irish potato famine wasn't still taboo in these parts.

In reply to:

Shelle: Fuckengoodonezing!


I don't get it. Are you being cliquey again? I don't like cliques. Cliques are what ruin TW. TW should be for everyone.

Problem: Shelle posting to tell the rest of TW she 'got' a joke.

Solution: Bozo Shelle. <-- worked up into dogz-like apoplexy.

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Shelle
(cracked actor)
03/01/06 02:47 PM
Smarter than p2c thread: Beltene & Shelle are in! new [re: power2charm]  

In reply to:

Shellebert, you appear to be perturbed


You're worse at reading mood on the internet than you are at reviewing books or movies. And that's saying something.

In reply to:

I regret you don't care to post anything that hasn't just now popped into your elongated head.


You may not, but others find them post-worthy.

You, on the other hand, can take a sure fire winner like "The Oscars" and kill it. I bet if anyone else had started that thread, anyone, it would have led to more discussion. It's no wonder you're reduced to begging someone, anyone, to revive your old threads.

And let's not even mention the embarrassment that was the egg nog thread.

Now, who is getting your Goethe?



1. Ob's stürmt oder schneit,
Ob die Sonne uns lacht,
Der Tag glühend heiß
Oder eiskalt die Nacht.
Bestaubt sind die Gesichter,
Doch froh ist unser Sinn,
Ist unser Sinn;
Es braust unser Panzer
Im Sturmwind dahin.

2. Mit donnernden Motoren,
Geschwind wie der Blitz,
Dem Feinde entgegen,
Im Panzer geschützt.
Voraus den Kameraden,
Im Kampf steh'n wir allein,
Steh'n wir allein,
So stoßen wir tief
In die feindlichen Reihn.

3. Wenn vor uns ein feindliches
Heer dann erscheint,
Wird Vollgas gegeben
Und ran an den Feind!
Was gilt denn unser Leben
Für unsres Reiches Heer?
Ja Reiches Heer?
Für Deutschland zu sterben
Ist uns höchste Ehr.

4. Mit Sperren und Minen
Hält der Gegner uns auf,
Wir lachen darüber
Und fahren nicht drauf.
Und droh'n vor uns Geschütze,
Versteckt im gelben Sand,
Im gelben Sand,
Wir suchen uns Wege,
Die keiner sonst fand.

5. Und läßt uns im Stich
Einst das treulose Glück,
Und kehren wir nicht mehr
Zur Heimat zurück,
Trifft uns die Todeskugel,
Ruft uns das Schicksal ab,
Ja Schicksal ab,
Dann wird uns der Panzer
Ein ehernes Grab.

Extremists on both sides are driving the bus. Not just that, but they've persuaded the rest of us to pay to have the bus converted into a tank, and we're not allowed to look outside to see for ourselves what's really going on.


Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/22/06 05:04 PM
Diamond Duh - Tool of the Week new [re: Black Prism]  

It seems Diamond Dave didn't see any value in updating this thread which was designed specifically to air complaints exactly like the ones he plastered over half a dozen threads in recent days. I'm gonna try to synopsise for record's sake:

Problem

In reply to:

[diamonddave] That is what alot [sic] on non TW people don't get about this site. The Bowie content on the boards is super at times but the blatent [sic] rude attitude of alot [sic]of the coffee shop posters leaves many scratching their heads.


His Proposed *ahem* Solution . . .
- Evan 'taking control'.
- Monkeyboy and Strawman 'buying a joke book'.

Now, I kinda lost interest in the larger arguments but I came away with the impression of an additional improvement I'd like to see implemented here.

Problem
Self-righteous cockferrets who use TW as a tool to condemn the actions and postings of others which they self-admittedly 'don't get'.

Solution
Annoying the self-righteous cockferrets who are tools.

Now I'm yet to decide what form it's gonna take, but I wager if we make a concerted effort to strike him with a salvo of 'backdoor burglary' jokes, that'll start to rattle him.

A lot of suggestions and painful changes afoot, I know, but don't worry, cuz Dave's gonna save us!


[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

ped_xing
(electric tomato)
03/22/06 05:40 PM
Do Not Fret Or Die TWFers!! ! ! new [re: Black Prism]  

I will save you TW! !! ! I will Resuscitate you! !! I will give you Artificial Persperation! !! !

I AM DIZZY MISS LIZZY

schizophrenic
(stardust savant)
03/22/06 05:43 PM
Re: Diamond Duh - Tool of the Week new [re: Black Prism]  

In reply to:

'backdoor burglary' jokes


Wait, is that a robbery reference or a gay reference? 'Cause, y'know, it works either way.



ghostlove
(crash course raver)
03/22/06 07:25 PM
Re: Diamond Duh - Tool of the Week new [re: schizophrenic]  

I think it has to do with homosexual rape.

cra ck



Monkeyboy
(band intro)
03/22/06 08:39 PM
Re: Diamond Duh - Tool of the Week new [re: Black Prism]  

In reply to:

cuz Dave's gonna save us!


You know, the thing that really makes my hemorrhoids flare is that I think Dave will likely see all of the mockery we've thrown at him as simply mean-spirited business as usual from people who are "the problem" with TW instead of considering whether we might have a point or not. Regardless of whether he stays, goes, or what wounds we may or may not have afflicted, I would hate for him to miss out on the larger arguments we've offered. If history has taught me anything here, though, it's that people like to conveniently forget whatever important points they might need to in order to think they were right all along.

EFFEE MUST DIE!

ghostlove
(crash course raver)
03/22/06 09:20 PM
Re: Diamond Duh - Tool of the Week new [re: Monkeyboy]  

I know. He tried this stance before a few months ago if I recall. I don't think there is anything wrong with TW and actually there hasn't been a whole lot of this 'mean spiritedness' shit he's talking about for a while. My guess is that he comes from a background of a good upbringing and not much deviation from 'normal' life circumstances. He's kind of being prejudice if you think about it in that way. A Right-winger in disguise trying to shape up a bunch of screw-ups.

cra ck



Beltene
(acolyte)
03/22/06 11:28 PM
Re: Smarter than p2c thread: Beltene & Shelle are in! new [re: Shelle]  

In reply to:

Doch froh ist unser Sinn,
Ist unser Sinn;


This inspired me to translate this into English. I have no idea what it is but my German spidey sense says its something from Goethe. Now my German is getting a little bit rusty (I had to say this in case the heroic dolphin is secretely reading this thread)

Whether its stormy or snowy
Whether the sun at us laughs
The day glowing heat
Or the icecold nite
With mesmerized looks on our faces
We're jumpin off the fridge
Jumping off the fridge
And gay is our sin
Is our sin

Equipped with superfast motors
Faster than the speed of light in vacuum(that's 3.0x10^8 for all you non Germans)
We're jumping off the fridge for ___(insert stupid cause/country here)
Against our enemies(cockroaches and dead fruit flies)
....

It sounds like this has been written for p2c. Is this possible, historically?

You see, darling...my ass does belong on your face! You just don't know it yet.

Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/23/06 01:22 PM
I wanna do you, ped! new [re: schizophrenic]  

I was half-referencing this thread (you'd have been well-advised to over look it ), but also referring to Dave's well-known closeted homosexuality. Why would he write such a thing in the first place if he wasn't hoping for others to 'twig' the slew of gay innuendos in that post?

Also of note is his behaviour beyond that thread:

- in picture threads of yesteryear, he's posted pictures of himself in heavy make-up to attract the bi-curious and the site's asexual.
- he likes Suede, the band of choice for bona fide poofters, like Strawman.
- in the post referenced above we learn he cohabits with someone with a gender-ambiguous name like 'Mel', (Melanie?) whom he boinks on a regular basis.

But perhaps I was too cruel in my previous post. We should, as a community, provide a safe and comforting environment to encourage those that find it difficult to grapple with their true identity (this is why, I think, Dave is always defensive and feels 'threatened') regardless of their 'developmental difficulties'.

EDIT: It seems that today he's started another thread about someone who's hacked into his account. Another blatant insinuation of a back-door entry if ever there was one!

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Edited by Black Prism on 03/23/06 01:39 PM (server time).



schizophrenic
(stardust savant)
03/23/06 01:54 PM
Re: I wanna do you, ped! new [re: Black Prism]  

Now that bring it up, I find it interesting that Dave would choose to go with the androgynous look. Particularly because I think he's physically incapable of pulling it off.

I mean he's almost 30, not particularly skinny, not particularly effeminate, and wears the kind of shirts that you usually see on drunken American football jocks. What is he trying to prove, exactly? That he can look like Tintin in his declining years?



Strawman
(acolyte)
03/25/06 06:49 AM
Re: I wanna do you, ped! *DELETED* new [re: Black Prism]  

Post deleted by strawman

Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/25/06 07:19 AM
I apologise when Suede apologises to Stan Brakhage new [re: Strawman]  

Almighty and beneficent Strawman,

I humbly beg your pardon for suggesting that you were a homosexual. There is nothing the slightest bit gay about liking Suede or bookmarking photos of me.

Yours truly,

Black Prism

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

Strawman
(acolyte)
03/25/06 07:33 AM
Re: I apologise when Suede apologises to Stan Brakhage new [re: Black Prism]  

Okay, despite the last sarcastic remark there I accept your apology.

Which is your favourite Suede number?

FIFA WORLD CUP 2006

Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/25/06 08:26 AM
As in Bolan new [re: Strawman]  

Marc. <3

[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]

ped_xing
(electric tomato)
03/25/06 10:44 AM
Re: I wanna do you, ped! new [re: Black Prism]  

In reply to:

I wanna do you, ped!


Oh Bleep! !! !That is very flattering Miss Black but unfortunately I am already done!!

I AM DIZZY MISS LIZZY

Starlite
(acolyte)
03/26/06 03:23 AM
Re: As in Bolan new [re: Black Prism]  

I thought you weren't so fond of him, at least in relation to Syd Barrett?



Black Prism
(cracked actor)
03/26/06 05:54 AM
I just like the pretty music, maaan new [re: Starlite]  

Wasn't I? I thought that was mere friendly rivalry, egged on by your fondness of drawing comparisons between the two.

Not that there aren't any comparisons, mind, but most people would abstain from drawing up a list of possible dates and venues where they could've slept together.

I, myself, have stopped short of all such embarrassing doodlings.

But I guess it's understandable how you came away with that impression.

For example, I think I joked that Marc looked 'fat' (or 'phat', even) during a period in the mid-70s, when he had a number of personal problems and was making not-so-good music, and allegedly had taken comfort in one too many burgers. I felt sure that Syd wouldn't sink to such a level, cos his music, if in shorter supply, is more consistent, right?

But then I saw this . . .



. . . which kinda shattered my dreams.

Then I went through a period of denial where I figured that perhaps Marc and Syd were the same person, cos they had both gained weight at exactly the same time, their facial appearances altered by heavy-duty cosmetics, while the 'tummy tuck' was still in its infancy.

My postprandial infatuation declined equally for both of them; Syd, because he disappeared never to be heard of ever again (stalker videos excepting), and Marc because . . . well, I've already used the diplomatic term 'not-so-good' music once, and I really don't wanna incur the wrath of rabbitfighter.


[neon]I'm not trolling; I'm moderating. [/neon]


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