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Persilot
(acolyte)
09/18/06 12:29 PM
Arguments unlikely to annoy a true TWer... new  

The seasoned Twer is a tough creature, well able to withstand a hail of abuse and still emerge with a smile on their face

The following are unlikely to work against an experienced Twer and will instead make you look like a dick;

1) The "You spend all your time posting here" attack. Any sort of variation of "Don't you have a life?" "You are a sad individual who spends all his time at TW" and so on is actually unlikely to have an effect because firstly... how would you know unless you were also here all the time and secondly because really this is kind of having an indirect go at everyone on the board for being in a similar position.

2) The "I'm disappointed in your latest post." attack. Usually coming from people you've never heard of or whom only appear stupidly rarely, this attack falls down on the premise that the person or in fact anyone will actually give a shite about your opinion.

3) "You're not even a proper David Bowie fan". People say this like it's some sort of hurtful thing that is gonna cause the rest of TW to form a lynch mob and turf someone out pronto.

4) “I’m going to bozo you” Fine… go ahead.

5) “Until you leave I’m not going post anything.” Again… fine, go ahead.

6) “The incomprehensible, bad grammar attack”. It doesn’t matter how good your argument is, the experienced TW will tear your post to confetti if it has any major grammatical flaws within it.

Any more?

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

White Prism
(cracked actor)
09/18/06 01:15 PM
Dick Alert new [re: Persilot]  

First off, Persilot, I'm dismayed you took the time to write all of that. It's bad enough for the board's newer members trying to get to grips with TW's nuances without its long-term members instituting yet more pedantry. All you acolytes club together in one big circle jerk, writing the social contract of TW, and exchanging cliquey jokes, whilst we mere cracked actors are left flailing trying to keep up, trying to be all things to all posters, trying to make ourselves likable, which personally I can vouch is damned nigh impossible.

Before you reply, predictably, saying 'there are no cliques blah blah blah', then why is that the threads of newer posters never receive as many responses as those of you old timers? Why can certain posters escape censure in posting pornographic images yet others cannot? Why do the mods bestow customised titles on people (mostly the bullies) many thousands of posts before others?

And this thread is merely a continuation of that circle jerk. Why don't you post something interesting for a change? TW's soul lies in the News and Views & Questions fora, the places dedicated to David Bowie, who you doubtless need reminding is the reason we come here in the first place. Persilot, you have not replied to either of those fora in your last 25 posts.

Nowadays, there's only a handful of decent TWers that make this place worth visiting, so few as to almost want to make me chuck in the towel, so tired am I of this acolyte elitist bullshit, though perhaps the easiest solution would be to bozo you. Yes, Percy, it's not as though you ever say anything interesting or your posts are well-constructed anyway; you even omitted the full stop in your first sentence, idiot.

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head . . .

Persilot
(acolyte)
09/18/06 01:31 PM
Gee, you're right. new [re: White Prism]  

I suppose you're right... I will forthwith retire to my chamber of contemplation and flagellate myself by beating my skin black and blue with the kipper of penance.

I can only ask for your forgiveness.

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

White Prism
(cracked actor)
09/18/06 01:56 PM
The keyboard is mightier than the kipper new [re: Persilot]  

Er, no, that's not right. You're supposed to intimidate me into submission, laughing, 'Ha! As if TW cares what an idiotic upstart like you thinks, when I've been registered longer than you! ' . . . then we kiss and make out, er . . . make up, even.

Forgiveness granted, though.

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head . . .

Atonalexpress
(acolyte)
09/18/06 03:05 PM
Re: Arguments unlikely to annoy a true TWer... new [re: Persilot]  

7) The "You can't write a good limerick" attack. The "don't you know that it's a five line poem?...where the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme and so do the third and fourth. The first, third, and fifth have the same verbal rhythm (meter) and length, and so do the second and fourth?" This never works, because the attacker becomes the subject of the next limerick, making the attacker the greater fool.

MySpace


schizophrenic
(acolyte)
09/18/06 05:09 PM
Re: Arguments unlikely to annoy a true TWer... new [re: Atonalexpress]  

To be totally blunt, I didn't even know you still made those threads.

I'm a kid
And I love CANDY!!!

Edited by schizophrenic on 09/18/06 05:10 PM (server time).



Persilot
(acolyte)
09/18/06 06:10 PM
The art of posting... [re: White Prism]  

In reply to:

Er, no, that's not right. You're supposed to intimidate me into submission


I've learned everything I needed to know about TW from the Vietcong.

If the TWer attacks, I retreat.
If the TWer stops posting, I raid.
If the TWer tires, I attack
If the TWer retires, I pursue.

Tactics that have kept me mercifully free of TW's internecine quarelling.

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

RabbitFighter
(acolyte)
09/18/06 06:23 PM
Gooks can't hold a candle to dolts new [re: Persilot]  

I like your jungle warfare tactics but it isn't foolproof really. Vietcong might have gouged your eyes and fed your genitalia to a swarm of hungry ants but that's nothing compared to asexual stalkers who shove pictures of their bestial mistresses down your throat.

I believe Norwich is rather crowded. Otherwise you could just fly by in a chopper and gun down every effeminate aryan who's distracted by shiny objects.

"You know who else makes creatures? Satan." - Schizo



Persilot
(acolyte)
09/19/06 05:25 PM
Re: Gooks can't hold a candle to dolts new [re: RabbitFighter]  

In reply to:

I believe Norwich is rather crowded. Otherwise you could just fly by in a chopper and gun down every effeminate aryan who's distracted by shiny objects.


I actually met someone the other day from Norwich who worked in the hospital system there. They knew DD74 by reputation... apparently he's well known as the "Blonde Scary Weirdo", so I probably could sort out a tactical strike although there might be some "Collateral damage".

By the way Dogz, don't even bother asking who the person is... I have to protect their identity.

"I know you believe you understand what you think I've said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

96dbFreak
(acolyte)
09/19/06 05:33 PM
Re: Gooks can't hold a candle to dolts new [re: Persilot]  

In reply to:

They knew DD74 by reputation... apparently he's well known as the "Blonde Scary Weirdo"...


Now there's a custom title if ever I heard one.

So what were you doing at St. Nick's, Perce? Just visiting?

Stu
Get Bowie Back Downunder



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