I nominate Andy Warhol.
Guaranteed to get you out of the mood.

It's LABRYNTH, idiot!

The Laughing Gnome. Rubber Band isn't exactly smokin' hot either.

"Fishfingers are made of fish?! ... Then I don't like them."
- my brother

I was going to say something funny relating Rubber band and queefs but then I remembered I should act my age.

It's LABRYNTH, idiot!

Win

Please Mr. Gravedigger

God Knows I'm Good

. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Too Dizzy.

The older I get, the better I was

"5 Years." Too good a song to ignore, but just so not right for the occasion.

"Andy Warhol" gets me in the mood.



"I have had contact with a vagina."
--strangeDivine

In reply to:

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Win

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Well hell if this thread doesn't underscore the adage "to each his own." I think "Win" is hella sexy, and I'd shag to that anytime (actually, the whole of Young Americans is good for it, perhaps sans "Across the Universe").

The worst Bowie song for shagging is "The Bewlay Brothers."

Sometimes I feel the need to move on. So I pack a bag and move on.

Fly
Red Money

TW's Top Fag!

Repetition

I'd shag to Win anyday too. But I dont' think it would be quite as hot to shag to as TV on the Radio's "Wolf Like Me" (speaking from experience of course).


Love is the Province of the Brave

Since the birth of the baby it's been virtually impossible to fit a "proper" shag in here at the Mardell household, let alone to a fucking Bowie tune - if the baby isn't waking up for a feed the teenagers are walking in all hours, usually with mates, and the 11 & 9 year olds take up all the day time hours.

Sometimes one of the elder teens will take the younger two out and if the baby's sleeping a fleeting session may be on the cards, but just as we're getting into it one can guarantee that the youngest teen, Hannah, will be in her room above us starting to sing loudly on a karaoke machine, and it's usually something from the High School Musical.

Yeah, you wanna try getting passionate within that kind of fucking setting.

Anyway, Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy

Spitting and swallowing are both so passe. I like to snort it back and shoot it through one nostril at my lover's face. ~ JarethsGirl

I was doing a little joke RE best song to shag too.

I would go for the laughing gnome too... it makes you wonder "what the fuck" while doing it... and not in the good way....

There is no Hell like an old Hell....

'Sorry'.

We are hungry men, except when I'm in a gay phase.

Me? The 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? On teenagewildlife.com? At three o'clock in the morning? With my reputation? What were they thinking of?

When im 5

In reply to:

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When im 5

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I think we have a winner!


It's LABRYNTH, idiot!

A Big Hurt brings back fond memories too.

Me? The 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? On teenagewildlife.com? At three o'clock in the morning? With my reputation? What were they thinking of?

Segue: Baby Grace

__________________________________________
Don't listen to the crowd
They say jump

In reply to:

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Segue: Baby Grace

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It's maybe not that sexy, but the length is just about right.


It's LABRYNTH, idiot!

I dunno, there's something rather hot about a teenage girl (who sounds like Bowie) being tortured...

"Fishfingers are made of fish?! ... Then I don't like them."
- my brother

You are both right. Damn!

I was going to mention "Leon Takes Us Outside" but then I gathered at 1 minute 34 the length is perfect there too.

__________________________________________
Don't listen to the crowd
They say jump

Far from being the worst, The Laughing Gnome is a great shaggin' song.

Firstly, the lyrics are full of sexual euphemisms and double entendres that, being Bowie of course, cater for all tastes, persuasions and sexual peccadilloes: nudge-nudge, wink-wink references to a "little old man", "gnomads", "fag", "roasted toadstools" and an early clarion cry from Bowie for sexual liberation through a threesome: “He was sitting on the edge of my bed/With his brother whose name was Fred/He'd bought him along to sing me a song.”

Most importantly, the song itself is underpinned by a sexually charged, rhythmically pounding bass line that just cries out for the listener (well, this particular listener at least) to cast aside their inhibitions and clothes, put on a false white beard and pointed green hat and run naked and seductively around the bedroom repeatedly shouting in a high pitched voice: "I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me" to aghast looks from wife, children and mother in law.

God's footballer hears the voices of angels
Above the choir at Molineux

In reply to:

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and run naked and seductively around the bedroom repeatedly shouting in a high pitched voice: "I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me"

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Could you please teach me how to do that seductively?

It's LABRYNTH, idiot!

Seductively? What isn't naturally seductive about prancing around as a naked gnome? A little tip, though, Emil: smear your genitals in Häagen-Dazs ice cream and give your partner your best 'come-to-bed' look while ignoring her own 'please-go-to-bed' look.

And there's me, a repressed Englishman, thinking that you Swedes were sexually sophisticated. Huh!

God's footballer hears the voices of angels
Above the choir at Molineux

I always thought The Laughing Gnome was about a man with a diaper fetish. A recurring theme in Bowie's songs if you listen closely.

My ass belongs on your face.

In reply to:
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Yeah, you wanna try getting passionate within that kind of fucking setting.

Anyway, Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy

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Actually that could be a good one for shaggin' due your complicated situation. Who can ever imagine what you are doing with a song like that??

There is no Hell like an old Hell....

I'll have to agree with 7thLabyrinth. There are certainly lines to the song that fit the bill. Particularly, "every child must be made aware."

Shit, Mardell, it's not like it's a big secret that you and the little lady procreate like oyster-fed rabbits. It's a bit redundant at this point to muffle your mid-coitus squeals of delight for their sakes, don't you think? They have but to look around at the dense throng of fair-haired hellions you've managed to consistently spawn over the years to grasp the frequency and, I daresay, potency of your orgasms.

P.S. Check out the status change! I finally did it...

...Made it, Ma! Top o' the world!!!! ::everything explodes::

Clowns caress you
Figures undress your fear

Day-In, Day-Out with a couple minor lyrical changes.

Segue: Algeria Touchshreik

Resurrecting old threads always feels so deliberate. Have some controlled experiments been carried out?


Everyday I write the book

"i'm afraid of americans" isn't that sensual...it is sexy though. however, it may frighten more partners than not.

In reply to:

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Resurrecting old threads always feels so deliberate. Have some controlled experiments been carried out?

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I believe it was my fault in this instance. There was no-one around at the time and, bored of waiting for a reply I had a search through some oldies.

I need a hobby, I know.

Y'all ready to go Stateside?

Worst songs: "Love you Till Tuesday" and "The Gospel According to Tony Day"

Best songs: "Earthling" album.

Calvin: I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes: I think once you're born its too late.

Normally when I play the Laughing Gnome I paint a little gnome face on my penis and go around putting it in unexpected places.

TW's Top Fag!

Like an electrical outlet?

Calvin: I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes: I think once you're born its too late.

This is the sexiest compilation ever put down on wax... (for those who like it sloppy and weird.)

The Dickies – Gigantor (Live @ City Gardens)

Jon and Al Kaplan – Silence of the Lambs: The Musical – Fuck Me

Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up

Jon and Al Kaplan – Silence of the Lambs: The Musical – It Puts the Fucking Lotion in the Basket

Jim’ll’s Brain – Stalk You

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins - Cookie Time

Tom Lehrer – Masochism Tango

Smegma – Whips and Midgets

Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf

Elana James - Pussy, Pussy, Pussy (The Pussycat Song)

Teddy & The Frat Girls (Sheer Smegma) - Alophen Baby

Ramsey Kearney – Blind Man’s Penis

R. Kelly – Sex in the Kitchen

Steven Jesse Bernstein – Man Upstairs

Citations - Sell the Pussy

Man... Or Astro-man? - Taco Wagon (Dick Dale cover)

William Hung - We Are The Champions


Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

The Loneliest Guy?

"Yes it was me, I broke into your flat,
and nicked all your letters from your Scooby Doo bag,
then buried them under a pile of farmyard shite".

Slow Burn could be a problem for a gal who's suffering from thrush.

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

Last time I shagged was in 1998. And I don't even remember if it was a she or a he.
P.

When I'm Five.

I don't get along with myself
And I'm not too keen on anyone else