David Bowie: So, um you're Monkeyboy then?
Monkeyboy: Yeah, why?
(pause)
DB: Stop looking at me like that!
MB: Sorry, let's start with the real important information. What's your favorite color?
DB: Um, blue?
MB: Would that be blue, blue, 'lectric blue? (laughs)
DB: No.
MB: (still laughing) Okay, okay. Can I hug you?
DB: After the interview, maybe.
MB: Oh, that was the interview!
DB: I came all the way to this grimy porno theater for you to ask me my favorite color? Uh uh, girlfriend!!
MB: Wow! I had no idea you could be so sassy!
DB: I am a sassy bitch, now make up a question.
MB: Okay...uh...how did you feel about the creative failure of Tonight?
(David hits Monkeyboy)
MB: Ouch!
DB: Don't you fucking ask me about Tonight!!
MB: Okay, sorry. You hit real hard!
DB: WOULD YOU FUCKING MOVE ON!!!
MB: Okay. Can I hug you?
DB: NO!
MB: Please? (gets up and hugs Bowie)
DB: Get off me!! (sprays Monkeyboy with mace and pulls the pin out of his rape alarm)
MB: Awww...
(David begins kicking Monkeyboy as he lies on the floor in pain)
DB: This is for Evan! (kick) This is for Iman! (kick) This is for Dr. Laura! (kick) And this is for ME! (takes out a gun and shoots Monkeyboy in the foot)
MB: Shit.
DB: So are we still on for another interview?

bye ta-ta

I loved the story. Mebbe you can write another one?

~2shy

Dontcha now? this is the Infamous Monkey that David carted around with him in the 70's
His name used to be " Asshole" but Zowie talked him into changing it to " Monkeyboy"



inside tranquility shrouded by chaos

...that was a good one....lol.

fiGgU_...

that was pretty damn funny. i was actually laughing outloud, which I never do.

Cyg

I was very bored and this was the oldest thread that I could find so I ressurected it.....I really need to find other things to do. Its really funny though.

"Why can't people go through life without comparing their own to anyone elses?"

Who is Dr. Laura?


Stu
G.B.A.
Somebody will have to fall out of the sky
Somebody to show us how to survive
Oh wouldn’t that be nice?

blue blue electric blue!! *dances*

hehe, yeah, that was pretty funny...........

Dr Laura?

"You all want my money, you leeches!" - David Bowie

Dr. Laura is a sort of famed radio (and TV?) psychologist (therapist?). Famous for her controversial views on homosexuality, if I recall correctly.
I think she considers homosexuality a disorder.
I guess she's only famous in America.

Cheers.

revamp the

Edit: Tee hee. I forgot to change my picture back.

Edited by Arthur0Dent on 02/03/02 08:14 PM (server time).

...and I still regard this as one of the finest pieces of comedic writing I've came across. This thread has seen me in fits of hysterics, in public libraries I've had to drag people to the screen and have had them in fits of hysterics also.

Oh yes, Monkeyboy. You are my Jeebux.

Or something like that.

I hope that I can say the things I wish I'd said.

Monkeyboy WINS!

I was laughing. Outloud. In my apartment. All by myself. At two fucking fifteen in the morning.

Ziggy Groupies Suck

*out of sheer desperation because she's really bored and she needs entertainment*

MB, do another one! And quick!

"You all want my money, you leeches!" - David Bowie

In reply to:

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MB, do another one! And quick!

---

Monkeyboy did another one two years ago. Quick enough for ya? He also did version 2000 nine months later, and Bowie (ahem, Sailor) finally got his own back five months ago on a thread he entitled My Interview With Monkeyboy (which was frankly hilarious), which came after Monkeyboy's suicide and before his resurrection by "lack of popular demand".

And now Monkeyboy is probably scared of me.

I hope that I can say the things I wish I'd said.

Thanks for the links, twister. It's like rewatching your favourite comedy programs (now classics).

I am what I play!

Aren't you all pleased with me for bringing it back up?

"Why can't people go through life without comparing their own to anyone elses?"

>>> Aren't you all pleased with me for bringing it back up?

YES! I love you! Any more old gems?!?

In reply to:

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And now Monkeyboy is probably scared of me.

---

I wouldn't use the word "now".

It's actually very nice to have people - okay, person - sharing past hits with people. It's far easier than being original funny in the present.

Wish you were here.

If I give you a dollar will you write another?

Huh? Huh?

Ziggy Groupies Suck

Man, reminds me of a week last Tuesday, when I did all the laundry, and then we watched TV. Wow, we won't see the like of THOSE sorts of days again.


Damek.

In reply to:

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two fucking fifteen in the morning

---

Sounds like someone else was having a good time, too.

The Hunam League

That's not funny.

All styles are good except the tiresome kind.

Would really like to see "Dave" interviewed by DiamondDogz74. Cue loads of questions about the YA 30th anniversary release.

Could be funny.

Y'know, Borat funny.

~
Heaven is a place where
Nothing ever happens

DB: So you're my biggest asexual fan?
DZ: Oooh, David, you're so handsome! Nice forehead and romantic eyes.
DB: Stop staring at my tits, please.
DZ: OK, OK. So, what's your favourite dog breed?
DB: Ummm, diamond dogs?
DZ: Fab! Mine is terrier.
DB: You should buy one and move to Newcastle then.
DZ: Why?!
DB: Then you'll have a new terrier in a new town.
DZ: (hysterical laughter) Oooh, Davy babes, you're so witty my beer gut is about to explode!
DB: Prick.
DZ: Hmmm, yes, I love it.
DB: Keep your hands off my zipper, you creepy chav.
DZ: You don't know how long I've wanted this, David!
DB: (singing) There's too much talking from this old tard
Too much mist in front of my eyes
I'm trying not to lose control
But he's just pushin' for a fight
Banzai!
(rips dogz's tits open with his own teeth, nails him to a wooden board, stuffs him with YA CDs and a live rat and sends his corpse to the museum of modern parts)

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

In reply to:

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the museum of modern parts

---

I think you've spelt prats wrong



London Bye Ta-Ta...

Hey, that's your 6th post today!

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

But it is in the Bowie section, so that is ok.

-------------------------------------------------------
I'm not a piece of teenage wildlife

Oh bugger.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

In reply to:

---

But it is in the Bowie section

---

Although it's a bit hard to tell.

"Are we making any progress?"
"None whatever," said Hercule Poirot. "That is interesting."

In reply to:

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David Bowie: So, um you're Monkeyboy then?
Monkeyboy: Yeah, why?
(pause)
DB: Stop looking at me like that!
MB: Sorry, let's start with the real important information. What's your favorite color?
DB: Um, blue?
MB: Would that be blue, blue, 'lectric blue? (laughs)
DB: No.
MB: (still laughing) Okay, okay. Can I hug you?
DB: After the interview, maybe.
MB: Oh, that was the interview!
DB: I came all the way to this grimy porno theater for you to ask me my favorite color? Uh uh, girlfriend!!
MB: Wow! I had no idea you could be so sassy!
DB: I am a sassy bitch, now make up a question.
MB: Okay...uh...how did you feel about the creative failure of Tonight?
(David hits Monkeyboy)
MB: Ouch!
DB: Don't you fucking ask me about Tonight!!
MB: Okay, sorry. You hit real hard!
DB: WOULD YOU FUCKING MOVE ON!!!
MB: Okay. Can I hug you?
DB: NO!
MB: Please? (gets up and hugs Bowie)
DB: Get off me!! (sprays Monkeyboy with mace and pulls the pin out of his rape alarm)
MB: Awww...
(David begins kicking Monkeyboy as he lies on the floor in pain)
DB: This is for Evan! (kick) This is for Iman! (kick) This is for Dr. Laura! (kick) And this is for ME! (takes out a gun and shoots Monkeyboy in the foot)
MB: Shit.
DB: So are we still on for another interview?

bye ta-ta

---

You've actually always been incredibly gay, haven't you? You even used to use the same sign-off line as Dogz. Come on Monkeyboy, the closet door is there, right in front of you, all you have to do is reach out and open it.

_____________________________________________

"You complete me twister!" - Remade/Remodeled

In reply to:

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You even used to use the same sign-off line as Dogz.

---

Chronology, dickface. Though it was a phenomenally gay signature, I'll admit that.

Ever hear of the phrase "wild goose chase," Stu?

Kill whitey.

In reply to:

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DB: Get off me!! (sprays Monkeyboy with mace and pulls the pin out of his rape alarm)

---

In reply to:

---

DB: This is for Evan! (kick) This is for Iman! (kick) This is for Dr. Laura! (kick) And this is for ME! (takes out a gun and shoots Monkeyboy in the foot)

---

Brilliant!

Still as fresh as it was 8 years ago.
I think he's due another interview, about where the new album is.
__________________________________________
From deep within despite the rain my words are worn

You're not the boss of me.

"OK, I quit. You win. Last post. The end. Goodbye." - Stu, 1 October 2007

Holy crap! I didn't realise how old this thread is!

Y'all ready to go Stateside?

In reply to:

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two fucking fifteen in the morning

----------------------------
Sounds like someone else was having a good time, too.

---

Oh, how I miss poorsoul!

It's LABRYNTH, idiot!
TW on Facebook

What a sickening thread!

Diamond Frog on MySpace

Fun Facts about this historic thread:

This is Daddy's favorite thread
This thread had to go to the emergency room for severe gas twelve times during the making of this thread
There is popular lore about a curse which surrounds this thread and devastates the social lives of all who participate in it
This thread won an Oscar for best comedy in 1996
This thread has three multi-racial families in different states
Nobody puts this thread in the corner
This thread has been mentioned on TMZ frequently in recent months after getting into an altercation with Kathleen Turner at a Roy Roger's restaurant
This thread won a Grammy for best rhythm and blues album in 2001
This thread's favorite sandwich is corned beef and extra sharp cheddar on pumpernickel
This thread will haunt you to your grave

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

Chronology schmronology, Dogsbody did not make that sig gay. It's gay on its own.

In fact, I probably would have bought the whole asex schtick if it weren't for that sig.

TW's Top Fag!

Please stop replying to this awfully gay thread.

Diamond Frog on MySpace

In reply to:

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Ever hear of the phrase "wild goose chase," Stu?

---

Interestingly, Stu's period of digging up ancient threads to quote his `enemies' out of context happened to coincide with the weekend his daughters spent their savings on locks for their doors.

Je est un autre

In reply to:

---

Fun Facts about this historic thread:

This is Daddy's favorite thread
This thread had to go to the emergency room for severe gas twelve times during the making of this thread
There is popular lore about a curse which surrounds this thread and devastates the social lives of all who participate in it
This thread won an Oscar for best comedy in 1996
This thread has three multi-racial families in different states
Nobody puts this thread in the corner
This thread has been mentioned on TMZ frequently in recent months after getting into an altercation with Kathleen Turner at a Roy Roger's restaurant
This thread won a Grammy for best rhythm and blues album in 2001
This thread's favorite sandwich is corned beef and extra sharp cheddar on pumpernickel
This thread will haunt you to your grave

---

If this thread quacks in a cave, there is no echo.
This thread was invented by Thomas Crapper.
The hairs on this thread will grow out thicker if you shave it.
This thread is the only phrase in the English language to contain exactly two occurrences of the letters T and H.
According to the laws of physics this thread should not be able to fly.

It's LABRYNTH, idiot!
TW on Facebook

Too true! ...Too true.

Here's a slightly embarrassing one. I've had nonconsensual sex with this thread three times since somebody bumped it back up.

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

This thread does not sleep; it waits.

TW's Top Fag!

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

Every. Time.

TW's Top Fag!

In reply to:

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This thread's favorite sandwich is corned beef and extra sharp cheddar on pumpernickel

---

Since you broght it up - I'd like to finally know what the hell is corned beef?

Thomas Katt music

It is made by taking a cow, submerging it in jam, rolling it in cornmeal and then deep-frying it while it is still alive.

No, is joke. I don't know what it is. I think it's your plain ol' regular beef that's been cured in brine.

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

All your base are belong to this thread.

Je est un autre

Ernest Hemingway once wrote: "My interview with David Bowie is a fine thread and worth fighting for." …I agree with the second part.

Yeah? Well, you're an asshole. - Monkeyboy

E: So, mr. Bowie. You have been part of some really important events in the history of rock music.
DB: Um...
E: You produced Raw Power, according to some one of the most important rock albums of all times.
DB: Yeah..?
E: How does that feel?

It's SAILER, idiot!

Wow, it's amazing that this thread is still getting bumped.

It deserves it.



"What's Tonga?" - Christopher Meloni