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   >> A Crack in the Past
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ziggfried Moderator
(acolyte)
02/06/11 09:41 PM
I LUV LABYRINTH! (A Parody Of Obsession) (04/2001) [re: ] Reply to this post

twister: Hi! I just thought I'd start a post on my favouritest thing ever, which is of course, Labyrinth. I know! I think Jareth is so flipping sexy. *drool* Whenever I see him prancing about in his lovely sex tights - wow! LOL! I would love to play with his balls, AND I DON'T MEAN THE CRYSTALS!!! LOL!!! Seeing his member all snug in those tight tights is the most erotic thing I have ever seen. I'm an American, so I've only seen the edited version of The Man Who..... Fell To Earth? Anyways, that one. Is it true in the proper version he whips his weiner out? I'd rent it out, but I'm only eleven or something, and my mom always says it's wrong to look at a boys thingie unless you marry them. I'D HAPPILY MARRY JARETH! LOL!!! Oh well - at least I still have the tights to slobber over! *slobber slobber* heeheehee LOL!!! As The World Falls Down is my FAVOURITE Bowie song. Oh my god, I nearly forgot about the tights!!! LOL!!!!! heeheehee! I'd SOOOO love to dance in that ballroom with him FOREVER!!! But why did Sarah give the baby back? I'd say, to hell with the kid, let's get jiggy wit' it jareth boyo! LOL!!!!! But it's a really deep and meaningful film too, all the phallic references - HOW DEEP! And the mythology behind is really uhm... really... something.

This is a parody. I'm aware some people will not know that despite the fact the subject line says so, and some people still won't get it despite this bit saying so. Oh well, whatever, never mind.


KellyGirl: Man, I was just thinking......I know many people don't consider Labyrinth fans to be true Bowie fans (and that's possibly right, considering they usually have a limited knowledge of his music), but you have to give them some credit: Most pre-teen girls (or boys, whatever) go for the teen heartthrobs. You know, the pretty boys, the teen idols. However, these Labyrinth fans have discovered a true man. They've been affected by Bowie's mysterious allure. It doesn't reach everyone, only a special chosen few. Some poor souls are just Bowie Blind. So I must give these Labyrinth Crazy fans some credit that they aren't as shallow as many others there age, simply because they found the beauty in bowie and not some teen idol such as Freddie Prinze Jr.


twister:

In reply to:

So I must give these Labyrinth Crazy fans some credit that they aren't as shallow as many others there age, simply because they found the beauty in bowie and not some teen idol such as Freddie Prinze Jr.


And these Labyrinth crazy fans often make me sick from my ears for reducing Bowie to the same level as Westlife and Boyzone. Sick from my ears, I tells ya!


LittleWonder17: Oh laugh, thats halarious. i know people that are like that. On one hand though, at least they've sought out something a little diffrent then what most other people like, like Kelly said other than Freddie Prinze or whatever. If you like Labyrinth thats fine, but you should appreciate Bowie for what hes really worth (his music!)


Queenie Fox: Are we allowed to like Laby and Bowie's "real" music and "proper" movies or are we only allowed to like one or the other?
And before anyone says it I KNOW it was just a parody and I shouln't take it seriously but I'm in a bad mood OK?


Roxy641: I had been a David Bowie fan long before "Labyrinth" was even made. Only saw the film a couple of years back,
and enjoyed it.


Catpeople: I laughed my ass raw about your story!
I became a Bowie-fan (between Dancing in the street and Absolute beginners)before the film was made.
I saw it a few years later and I really love it!
Maybe it's different from most of Bowie's work (nothings'ever the same!).
Uptill now I always laughed out about the tights!
It's cool!

What do you think? Does his friends and family also make fun about those tights??? I can imagine! Hahahahahaha!
Not even metion the day, while they made that movie, when he first had to wear them.....LOL!
Did he had a girlfriend at that time? I don't think so! LOL!

LOL!!!!


twister:

In reply to:

Are we allowed to like Laby and Bowie's "real" music and "proper" movies or are we only allowed to like one or the other?
And before anyone says it I KNOW it was just a parody and I shouln't take it seriously but I'm in a bad mood OK?


Hey, it's me again, the guy who made this thread (hey - what's up?), just for the record I like the film. It's hardly the highlight of Bowie's career, but it's a decent flick. The parody was just a silly thing that seemed kinda funny at the time, and it wasn't anti-Labyrinth, more anti-tight-droolers. And very anti-people-who-LOL-at-their-own-posts.


Tyger_Lily: Brilliant. Straight on the head (or right between the eyes, whichever your prefer).


Monkeyboy: Ditch the disclaimers and you have yourself some great comedy. In my experience, it's best to let people believe that you are serious. You get some rather embarassing responses that way.


Crystalline: Ok, ok, ok.

Look, I don't want to sound like some sort of self-ordained representative from the world of teenage girls to the world of cultured and wise Bowie fans, but come on...I used to be one of those obsessed girls and it's not as bad as it sounds.

Labyrinth was a tremendously coincidental film. The acting on the part of Jennifer Connelly is a little on the weak side, and the music wasn't the best Bowie has ever written, but some of the script references, the performances and the plot can be overanalyzed extensively in ways that Jim Henson never intended it to be. A lot of it can be interpreted symbolically, or even in a Freudan sense (I can hear the snickers from here). I don't know the address off the top of my head, but if you visit a site called Jareth's Home Page, created by a college student named Elizabeth A. Allen, you'll probably see what I mean. There's a lot of intelligent commentary about Jareth and Sarah's psychology, nuances and interpretations in mostly essay format. There's even an analysis of the different costumes he wears and exactly what they could mean, plot-wise. I realize how ridiculous it sounds, but it's not all blatherous garbage.

It was a kids' film, yes. It's also a cult film. Some Labyrinth fanfiction is actually quite intelligently written. I get the feeling these intelligent people don't really watch the movie that often, they just analyze it.

The sort of people that this post is parodying are ridiculous and need to be exposed to better work, but Labyrinth fans as a whole aren't all giggly, stupid, hormone-crazed preteen girls. Those are only the people who try to sound intelligent and pop up on David Bowie message boards every so often, so it's the only kind of Labyrinth fan that you people get to know.

Peaches and peace,
Crys
(A 15 year old girl)


Pablo Jubany (anon): I'm twenty. And I was six when I saw Labyrinth. It shocked me. A year later I discovered that the one that played Jareth was a singer, not only in the film. Around that time Never Let Me Down appeared. I said "ˇwow! David Bowie is amazing". I became a very little, but intense, Bowie fan. The years went by and I became a musician, a pop composer/performer. Because of that I give music the kind of analysis that I couldn't then. Now I'm a huge Bowie fan. I bought and studied ALL his music and because of that I learned about other music too. Now I realize that Never Let Me Down is crap. But I keep thinking that Labyrinth is great. Not only because it's a really good film, a cult movie. Because it gave me the chance to know David Bowie when I was six, in Argentina. And that, although I'm not a BIG Labyrinth fan nowadays (I wouldn't make a "Jareth Home Page"), changed my life forever.


Silverstar: i do love labyrinth...but i laughed and laughed about the post. ever heard of the DBA? that takes tight-obsessing to new levels. id be interested to see if pyre was a member here...

nut there is hope for labyrinth fans...i went from being a laby obsesser to loving ziggy stardust (the music, too! lol)


beckie: Teehee.

I am a Labyrinth fan. BTW, Jareth's Homepage can be found here: http://www.oddpla.net/

It's a very Freudian movie, and somewhere online there's a VERY Freudian analysis of the whole thing, unfortunately I don't have the page bookmarked. It's incredibly detailed. Elizabeth Allen covers it fairly well, though.

The puppetry in Labyrinth is absolutely fascinating. I miss Jim Henson.


kremlin_mistress: And very anti-people-who-LOL-at-their-own-posts.

Thank you, twister.


ZiggysUnderpants: Wow. I as with most the other people know that your post was a joke, but I have noticed from the 3 months ive been here that there is alot of labyrinth-fan bashing.

And whats wrong with ATWFD?

I'm in the process of making a Jareth site, and I was gonna post it but I think my mind has changed.

Anyways, I guess the post was not meant to offend anyone, but it kinda did to me. If it wasnt for that movie I wouldnt have discovered Bowie. (well, I might have, but it wouldnt be the same) I do like other work of Bowies, dont get me wrong, im not one of the kids your aiming at in your post.

ack, no hard feelings, just an opinion.


theladyprimrose <<I went from being a laby obsesser to loving ziggy stardust>>

Me, too. I was a DBA tight drooler. I must admit the movie does have some depth to it, and yes, I just about died with laughter from you post.


power2charm: Ditch the disclaimers and you have yourself some great comedy. In my experience, it's best to let people believe that you are serious. You get some rather embarassing responses that way.

I completely agree with MB on this, Twister. This would have been great if you had just served it up straight (no "this is a parody" warnings) under an unregistered name, since anything coming from the registered user Twister is automatically regarded as smartass. As the parody is not exactly subtle, those who took it seriously and responded would have only added to the mirth.

As it is, I still chortled.

Anyway, wasn't he wearing a cup in the film? I mean you don't just let the frank and beans lie plastered up against tights, do you? (I haven't looked at the movie for over a decade, I can't remember....)


cosmic_hippy: funny! kudos to you, twister

In reply to:

Whenever I see him prancing about in his lovely sex tights -


actually, my initial reaction is "that's GOT to be a sock..." heh heh...


Starbuck: i have to agree, labyrinth was the first exposure i had to DB, but its not how i discovered his music, that didnt occur until many years later, and then i put two and two together. but really, as much as i got the joke, i can remember being absolutely intranced by jareth, i loved him at that moment, when my friends were drooling over the likes of new kids on the block, i was dreaming about dancing with jareth! years later i discovered that the actor was DB and that he actually was a musician in real life!!! wasnt i pleasantly suprised!!!! and ziggysunderpants, please let me know if you create a laby website, i would love to see it!!! kel


kirk:

In reply to:

I mean you don't just let the frank and beans lie plastered up against tights, do you?


Damn! So that's what I've been doing wrong!

This could be a worthwhile poll, you know But I've done my bad poll for this cycle.


twister:

In reply to:

This would have been great if you had just served it up straight (no "this is a parody" warnings)


Yeah, that's what I thought, but I didn't want anyone associating the good, clean name of "twister" with the drivel at the top of this thread.

In reply to:

under an unregistered name


What, and not get the credit?

In reply to:

since anything coming from the registered user Twister is automatically regarded as smartass


Humph. To you, maybe.


Visitor (anon): This is a rather unfair portrayal of Laby lovers... I know, we may take the tights thing a bit too far, but we aren't THAT bad. Also, Labyrinth is how I discovered Bowie... and i consider myself very much a true Bowie fan. How many of YOU people can name the guy who gave Bowie that whack to the eye back in Bromley? How many of you knew Bowie GOT a whack in the eye back in Bromley?
I don't want to rant so i'll end this after one last short comment:
I know, and my friends know, that there is a man and a talented musician beyond the tights and the crystal balls... This is a distortion of our intentions and views and unfair.


Tuesday's Child:

In reply to:

This is a rather unfair portrayal of Laby lovers... I know, we may take the tights thing a bit too far, but we aren't THAT bad.


Oh dear, but you are. I may lurk around in places I shouldn't go, but seriously. His Royal Tightness? Eh... let's just say you won't catch me using that phrase, okay?

In reply to:

Also, Labyrinth is how I discovered Bowie... and i consider myself very much a true Bowie fan.


Yeppers and yeppers. Though I don't think the purpose of this thread was to go plain Laby-bashing... Something more subtle, perhaps? Hmm...

In reply to:

How many of YOU people can name the guy who gave Bowie that whack to the eye back in Bromley?


I can?

In reply to:

How many of you knew Bowie GOT a whack in the eye back in Bromley?


Well shame on anyone who's been a fan more than a month and doesn't know! [shock]

Btw, I'm amazed. I've shown the film to at least three different people on purpose, and none of them has cracked any jokes about the said garment! Are they blind or what? (This includes my own brother, for crying out loud!)


Visitor (anon): In reply to:

His Royal Tightness?

umm you must be on some forum i've never been on. I am well aware that there are some forums out there with sick posts like that, but sadly you haven't been on the majority of sites. If you're going to be obnoxious, at least have research to back it up. As a close friend of mine says, "Don't write checks your ass can't cash." This is the most twisted forum i've ever been on to tell you the truth, most forums i've been on people don't try to make personal attacks on a generalized group, or even an individual. I don't know whether I should be angry or disgusted with the conduct of you people. well, at least this place is good for a laugh-- where else do you find uninformed assholes like this? whew!

also, in reply to:

I can?

then go ahead, smart one.


shy_kisser:

In reply to:


then go ahead, smart one.


Oh, can I? I like feeling smart. I believe it was George Underwood? I'll put a question mark, because although I'm 99% sure it was, I'm usually always wrong.

And Twister, if you're attacking anyone who ever "LOL"ed at their own post, that would include me, so I'll just say "Sometimes its fun to be silly over silly things like tight pants." And you can quote me.


beckie: Anon (I wish I had a name to call you, I feel uncomfy calling someone Anon or by a number...)

Anyway, Anon...I too am a Labyrinth fan, but it was a semi-lighthearted joke!! Message boards in general, not just this one, are full of people like us who delight in taking the piss out of each other. It's not life-changing, it's text on a screen.

And no, obviously not all Laby fans are (shudder) teenyboppers, including you. But it's not healthy to love something so much that you can't take a joke about it, either...I've been there, it's true.

So take whatever you read at a message board, or chat room, or wherever, with a huge portion of salt. Most likely it won't matter ten minutes from now.


RubberSqueegee: I've got no problem with Labyrinth, but I don't think of it as obsession-worthy.

And the use of "LOL" should be outlawed, at least for 2 months. It's getting annoying. Same with "TTYL".


Crystalline: It was George Underwood, his boyhood best friend who punched him in the left eye for kissing his girlfriend on the playground. A lot of people know that.

And longtime subscribers to the Labyrinth mailing lists ("Listians") have always called Jareth "His Royal Tightness", and made extensive joking references to his tights, Visitor. I don't know what Labyrinth web sites that *you've* been on, but it's hardly a "sick post".

Also, it's a lighthearted parody...It's all right to be a little annoyed, but it doesn't make this forum "twisted", as you put it.


ziggywombat: aw twister, your so LOL inducing! who needs drugs when you've got LOL's to abuse! oh, and don't forget laby fans! giddiness it so supremely annoying, unless it is i who is giddy..... that's the case most of the time.... but it's a charmingly pschotic sort of giddiness......


white rabbit: Twister, you make me LOL!


WildWind:

In reply to:

I don't know whether I should be angry or disgusted with the conduct of you people.


Please be disgusted. And then go away.

In reply to:

where else do you find uninformed assholes like this?


Lessee...Uninformed...Dara...power2charm...Adam...bowiefanpeter...rubleem...

Wait a minute...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!


Tuesday's Child: Oh deary, deary me... Visitor, I wasn't making a personalised attack against you - geesh, I don't even know who you are! Besides, you would know if I was bitching about you. Or maybe not... Anyway, I have a very twisted relationship with the said film, and I love to confuse a fan whenever I can. As for the uninformed - tell me what information you need and I'll let you know. I was merely stating an opinion, and opinions aren't usually based on profound research. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!

On a sidenote, my ass can't cash checks. I believe it's anatomically impossible.

And lastly:

In reply to:

where else do you find uninformed assholes like this?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lessee...Uninformed...Dara...power2charm...Adam...bowiefanpeter...rubleem...

Wait a minute...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!


LOL!!! Thank you, WW. You've made my day!


NoGame:

In reply to:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!


A very interesting mood you were in....



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