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ziggfried Moderator
02/07/11 00:35 AM
Help! (a.k.a. the Kelly saga) (10/2000) [re: ] Reply to this post

Kelly (anonymous): OK, this is my 1st time at this site, and I must confess I dont really have the slightest idea who David Bowie is. See, the reason Im here is about a week ago my family was in a very bad roll over car accident, we were all sent to the hospital for inujuries, and I went out of my hospital room after they were done with me and sat in the waiting room, waiting for the rest of my family. I was sitting next to this girl about my age, (15) who had a pair of headphones on and was head-bobbing, I thought she must be listening to NSync or Backstreet Boys or something like that, you know, the stuff everyone where I lives listens too. She saw me looking at her and asked if I wanted to listen, I asked her who it was and she said that I probably wouldnt regonize the name, and just have a listen, I did, I only got to listen to one song though, and I dont even remember the name of the song, but the chorus was something like, "Beware the savage jaw of 1984." The only way I knew the artist was David Bowie was because I saw the girl put the CD into a case that said David Bowie across the top. But I loved the song! Does anyone know the name of the song or the album so I can purchase it? And maybe tell me a little bit about Bowie...Im a bit curious about him...

enoch: Your life will never be the same. It looks like the song you were listening to was 1984. I'm not too familiar with it, but after a quick search in the lyrics section here, I found that it's on Diamond Dogs. I'm sure you'll find that everyone here will be very helpful. Hope your family's alright!

Sonofsilence: the song is called 1984 and it's on his album called Diamond Dogs- a very good album. He has loads of other stuff that is just as good or if not better than that.but still a good choice for a first listen.

Also I'm sorry to hear about your the accident I hope you are all OK. That's really tragic.

JohnB67: As you've already been told, it's '1984,' from Diamond Dogs (which is kind of a dark album). Since you are a new listener, I would suggest starting with a greatest hits collection (ChangesBowie if you can find it) so you can get a sampling of the different types of music Bowie has issued. 'Best of 1969-1974' and 'Best of 1974-1979' are also good choices.

Good luck and welcom to the ownderful world of Bowie!

kisch: Welcome here Kelly ! It's strange how terrible accident may lead to such a great thing ! Hope you're OK now.
As for 1984 song, I'd advise to listen to the whole Diamond Dogs album, then maybe to some compilation. Though imo compilations kill the music :))


JohnB67: I just don't think the entire Diamond Dogs album is the best way for a young newbie to get started on the phenomenon that is Bowie. The potential to turn her off half-way through 'Future Legend' is just too great. I agree with your comment on compilations killing the music, however, starting off with a sampler is the best way to see what style of music you want to initially focus on. For example, if she listens to ChangesBowie and just loves Diamond Dogs and Rebel Rebel, then by all means, start with the full Fiamond Dogs album. But maybe she'll lean more toward the Ziggy-era stuff, or Aladdin Sane, or (gasp!) the early 80s stuff. Some people might do OK with jumping right in to the deep end of the Bowie pool, but I would suggest dipping your big toe in the shallow end and easing your way in. (I think the obsession has a better chance of soaking in and lasting a lifetime that way. God knows, if I had started off witht the full Diamond Dogs album, I might have dismissed him as some kind of freak before 'Future Legend' was even done playing.)

Just my humble opinion.

Who knows, if she already listens to stuff like NIN and Maryiln Manson, then Diamond Dogs might be great. But if she's a Backstreet Boys and N'Sync fan, then a greatest hits compilation is the best way to start.

ziggfried: Well, if you have to hear Bowie for the first time, it's pretty damn serendipidous (anyone know if I spelled that right?) to hear '1984,' a damn good track from 'Diamond Dogs' (for my money, Bowie's best album). Although I agree with everyone here, if you're not too sure who Bowie is and what his stuff's like, especially since he's covered a HUGE range of styles over three decades, try a greatest hits album - I suggest 'Changesbowie' or the first of the 'Singles Collection' discs. They give you a pretty good cross-section of Bowie's range...but if you want to go straight into album-land, I would suggest 'Hunky Dory,' 'Ziggy Stardust,' 'Aladdin Sane' or 'Scary Monsters.' All of these albums have immediately accessible, easy-to-digest tracks, yet are absolutely indicative of Bowie's genius at its best. I think everyone here would agree that Bowie's other 70s albums would go over the beginner's head (and 'Young Americans' would give you the impression that Bowie's a soul man), and pretty much most of his post 'Scary Monsters' stuff can only be appreciated once you've recognized the genious of his 70s stuff first. Makes you forgive his 80s follies. But then again, old Dave affects all of us in different ways...Just leap straight into Bowieland. It's a helluva ride.

andro gene: kelly, i don't mean any disrespect when i say this, but i'm curious...how did you not know who david bowie is until just recently? are you young? i can understand that if you are young, you may not know who he is since he hasn't had really much "commcercial success" in a while.

again, i don't mean to offend you...

good luck with digging into bowie's catalogue...i'm sure you'll never be the same afterwards...bowie, as i'm sure you will discover, is an artisitc genius.

CygnetC: Welcome to our lovely little family Kelly!!

Ziggi: that Sam Goody can order it for you. However the album that made me love Bowie was Station to Station. You might check that one out--you can get it at just about any music store.

I hope you and your family are allright. Take care!

P.S. How did you find this site? Did you do a search on Bowie?

Ziggi: Was the mysterious girl in the hospital anybody on this site? Just curious.

KellyGirl: I am proud now, someone to share my name! I think I will call you Kelly Jr.

diceman: well, you picked the right site to come to for help. best damn pop/rock fan site on the entire web (that i've seen).

well, if you're looking for the song '1984', the only place to get it is 'diamond dogs' album. i'd suggest his very first masterpiece 'hunky dory' from the early 70s or 'changesbowie' or 'the singles (2 cd)'. i started with the singles collection - slowly but surely i grew to enjoy every last song on it (except 'cat people')

ah, it's wonderful to be able to advise someone with a clean bowie slate. on one hand, it's a shame that the first song you heard wasn't 'space oddity' - that way you could proceed chronologically. on the other hand, knowing that you appreciate something on 'diamond dogs' makes it very possible that you will become a full-fledged bowie convert.

'if you stay with us you're gonna be pretty kooky too' - unless you are already - hope you're prepared

just curious, though. since you're 15 years old, were you by any chance BORN in 1984.

hope all are in full recovery - post us again

Sylvanelf: I don't know what the problem with Diamond Dogs is...it's probably my favorite album of all time. If you're like me, you'll like something different than the boring repetetive crap you listen to on the radio. Diamond Dogs was the first Bowie album I heard after ChangesBowie, and when I first heard Future Legend, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, and then it goes right into Diamond Dogs, such a great transition *drool* Diamond Dogs will certainly make you very interested in David Bowie if not obsessed...it's amazing. You can find it anywhere.

KookyBlackBird: What a twist of luck! I hope your family is alright. I wonder who the mysterious bowie listener from the hospital is and if she knows about teenagewildlife? We might never know.

Kelly (anonymous): omg! I cannot belive this! I wasnt expecting this sort of a reaction! You guys are awesome! Like a big community or something..Im totally awe-stricken.
OK, I *really* wanted to get Diamond Dogs right now, (thankz for telling me the name!) but you guys seem pretty insistant that I get one called, ChangesBowie, so Ive ordered that and it should I should have it in a few days. :) And for those that asked, yes, I found this site by an internet search, and Im a bit confused, Nysnc and Backstreet Boys...they are not good? *guilty smirk* I have their CDs...is that..bad? lol
Oh! And another thing, after I posted, I explored other parts of this site...David Bowie is GORGOUS!!!!!! He looks like and beatiful man and woman! IN ONE!!! *passes out* And to think I had a crush on Justin Timberlake when Bowie was right under my nose!! I have a serious urge to know everything there is about Bowie! Enlighten me! *PLEASE*

Coldfyr: Another soul rescued from the gaping maw of the mainstream....
Good work!!!

Kelly (anonymous): Rescued? I dont get it, lol, but I have a feeling I will soon! :) And what do you guys mean by things like, "Hope your preparded?" Should I brace myself for this?

glitter0330: Welcome to the Village of the Damned!!!
Just kidding...

Well, I've just reached my one year of fandom mark this September and you should brace yourself! Bowie is a terrable addiction for the first year or two...He's like crack or something! You have to go out and get more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and...Well...You get the idea, right?

And yes! Isn't he beautiful?! I had to bring in a few pics. of him for art class today (we're drawing faces and who's face would be cooler to draw than his?) and all of my friends started with the "Eeeew! Gross! Burn it! Tear it!" thing.... -_-; Some people just don't get it!

Oh well! Their loss!

Anyway, if you want to talk anytime my email is bridgetmars@hotmail.com. Welcome to the family! *group huggles*


bowiechick02: Brace yourself?

Heehee...This is fun!!! Welcome and feel free to ask all the questions you want, Kelly Jr. (LOL j/k). You've luckily enough stumbled into one of the greatest and most friendly fan sites on the Web - and with the most Bowie geniuses in the world!

Well anyways, welcome again (why don't you register?) and cya around



In reply to:

Brace yourself?
Oh definately.

Once you've stumbled into Bowie, you'll never be the same again. Hope all is well and that we'll be seeing more of you!


In reply to:

Brace yourself?

Write back once you get ChangesOneBowie and let us know how you're taking it! :) This is cool. I never met a born-again Bowiephile before!

Youngziggy: You should introduce Bowie to some of your friends(the ones more open to new ideas probably). This will be good because you can talk to people about Bowie outside of the computer world.

trendy rechauffe:

In reply to:

you guys seem pretty insistant that I get one called, ChangesBowie, so Ive ordered that and it should I should have it in a few days.

ChangesBowie doesn't include 1984, so you'll need to expand your Bowie collection a little more.

Sylvanelf: What a beautiful moment. I agree with what Coldfyr said :) Kelly, your quality of life will approve. You've never known what pleasure you can actually get out of a musical genius like David Bowie. You will no longer see music as just something that you can dance to or listen to for getting rid of boredom. You will see it as art....and love it.
Or maybe you already saw it that way and i'm an idiot. Either way, you will like David Bowie. :P

trendy rechauffe:

In reply to:

Bowie is a terrable addiction for the first year or two...He's like crack or something! You have to go out and get more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and...Well...You get the idea, right?

That happened to me back in 1980 when I heard Ashes to ashes for the first time. I had to start buying everything I could find. And that's never stopped.

power2charm: Unregistered Kelly is a fake! And you all fell hook line and sinker for it. Re-read her posts, especially the first one. Does it not strike anyone else as bizarre that a teenage girl suffers a rollover accident with her ENTIRE FAMILY in the car, and comes away from the hospital, not traumatized, but intrigued by a second or third-tier Bowie song? Note the following:

1. Kelly sets us up to embrace her. Kelly "doesn't have the slightest idea" who db is. With her opening statement she plays to our sense of injustice and outrage that db isn't as big as the Beatles. She goes on to inquire of another teen she believes must be bobbing her head to NSync or BSBoys (we are meant to collectively groan at this). But no, the girl tells her, it's not a boy band -- its somebody you probably wouldn't recognize by name. How many young Bowie fans can identify with that -- idolizing an artist unknown to their peers?

2. This point is the giveaway that the post is fake: The teen won't tell Kelly the artist's name but encourages her to have a listen (like the fucking Pepsi challenge -- the tension builds...). What is the snippet of lyric Kelly hears? "Beware the savage jaw of 1984..." One of the biggest threads ever about an unclear lyric here on TW was for that very line. And while we die-hard fans can't agree on it, Unregistered Kelly heard it clearly enough on her first listen to get it right. Sure she did.

Of course, she can hear the chorus clearly but can't discern the song's name from it. Can you help me, Bowie fans? The teen with DD in her walkman never revealed the artist (utterly out of character for a real Bowie fan, by the way) but Kelly saw the name "David Bowie" across the top of the cd case. Uh, well my Ryko DD doesn't have "David Bowie" embazoned across the top; it just has the little "electric bolt" style Bowie in the top left hand corner.

This was an amusing thread to read. Very sweet, actually, how TWers opened their arms to Unreg Kelly, welcoming her like she was a derelict seeking shelter at the Salvation Army. We offered first-album suggestions and reminisced about our own early fanhood. Kelly popped in twice to egg us on further. She ordered Changesbowie --"is that what its called?" and it will be here in a few days. Oh, light! Another lost lamb has been found. Angels are singing...

All I want to know is: How soon would it have been till we started in trying to convince her how great Hours really is? (Kelly: "I saw this new album on Amazon called "Hours..."-- is that what its called? And he had long hair and was holding another guy who looked just like him except he had short hair. Is that a good album to get?")

ps. the real character who posted as Kelly the victim of a serendipitous rollover should stand up and take a bow. Very very nice performance.

bowiefanpeter: I think kelly was DB.....

Tristan: Power2charm is a genius.
Your posts are so long they put me to sleep. Actually I'm kidding, power2charm. I laughed so hard at this post. Your posts are always so thought out and intriguing. I don't know where you come up with this stuff, but keep it coming. I like reading your posts.

KellyStardust Power2Charm, I must say I was rather hurt by your post. I am not the least bit fake! And why does it seem so impossible to you that my family could get into a roll over car accident! YOU WERENT THERE! You have no idea how tramitized I was!! Have you ever ridden in an ambluence? Do you know what its like to see them put your mother in it, when she all cut up from glass and the windsheild braking out?! You have no idea! Do you?! You dont have any idea how terrifing that was for me! Imagine yourself on your way back home from a long trip to vist realitives, you hit a curve to hard, and the van your in rolls 3 and a half times, landing on the roof, everyone is screaming, my sisters and I had to kick out windows just to get out of the wreck!!!
And as for the song, I dont get it!! So what? I regonized the chorus? And I know I saw the name David Bowie on it!!! Im sorry to disapoint you, but Im not a fake! Ive registered here now, I plan on staying here at the message boards, and Power2Charm, Im sorry if you think Im a fake, but you have NO IDEA how wrong you are!!!

enoch: 1. My brother is one of those teens who likes artists "unknown to their peers." They all kind of make fun of his music. He listens to Bowie. These people do exist. I don't care what your stereotype of today's youth is.

2. I'm always reluctant to give the name of a group that I don't think anyone will recognize. A few weeks ago, I was talking to someone about some shows I wanted to see. He had to force the names out of me because I didn't think it'd be worth my breath to mention them. It's not like he would've all of a sudden gained an interest after just hearing the name. I don't yell out David Bowie's name every chance I get.

I'm sorry, but your logic is very flawed power2charm. Interesting, but flawed.

WildWind: I think p2c's logic made a whole lot of sense. In fact, I'd considered it myself when I first saw the post, and last night after reading p2c's post, I was convinced that she was a fake.

Mostly I'm curious as to why, one week after this traumatic experience, her greatest concern is finding out about David Bowie, and why, though a number of people have asked whether she and her family are all right, we've gotten no health update. Kelly, how is your family?

And assuming that it all is true, Kelly, don't freak out at the skepticism and go running. It comes with the territory. Actually, you should be flattered. One day into the boards and you're already the subject of a topic. I know lots of people that would do almost anything for such an opportunity.

I will say this, if this is all true, it's going to be kind of exciting to watch a totally green Bowie fan evolve...

Yeah, I'm being wishy-washy and not taking a position either way. Mostly because I'm really not sure anymore.


*UPDATE* - Hey! I just thought of something. If she had no idea who DB was, and had never heard of him and was familiar with NONE of his music, how in the hell did she come up with registering as "KellyStardust"?

Edited by WildWind on 10/18/00 11:54 AM.

WildWind: First of all, I have to say to Kelly that, real or not, you should be VERY proud of yourself for the impact you've made and stir you caused. If you're not real, it's a hell of a snow job, and if you are, you've made some people (myself included) spend a lot of time and effort to try to find evidence either way rather than just taking you at face value. File this along with "Why From The Doom won't register" and "Which poster is David Bowie himself" (And for that matter Kelly could be either one of them). I consider this one of the board's great mysteries and will play devil's advocate by submitting the following for your consideration:

* I will include on this list my above revelation that a registration as "KellyStardust" is inconsistent with knowing nothing about David Bowie.

* According to her profile, KellyStardust registered on 10/18/00 at 7:44 a.m. The board's time are all in the Eastern time zone, which means that she registered at 4:44 a.m. her time, since her profile says she is from Washington State, USA. Anyone else find it odd that a 15-year-old would be up and online at that hour? My parents would have ripped me to shreds for that when I was 15.

* This is kind of a stretch, but I do find it odd that we haven't seen the usual innundation of newbie posts since she's registered. "What are those titles beside the names?" "(Now that I know what he looks like), why are his eyes two different colors?" Come to think of it, she hasn't posted much at all. Pretty out of character for a newbie. 'Course, you might say that she's waiting until she gets her music to get involved, which brings me to...

* ChangesBowie is only available for order online as an import (at least, that's the only way I've found it on all the major warehouses). It costs $23 and up (plus shipping). Seems like a lot for a brand-new fan (and a young one at that) to not think twice about dropping on a CD.

I like mysteries. This is fun.

enoch: There may be reason for doubt, but I was saying that the logic provided is not enough to come to the given conclusion. Take a logics course. I haven't yet, but I've gathered some from a friend who did. I want to take one so I can be a true pain-in-the-ass in situations like this. Kelly might be real, might be fake, but leave her emotions out of this. Why would she want to talk to a bunch of strangers about her family? I'm going to start pretending someone else is fake.

diceman: did seem a bit fishy - i thought about the DD cover and thought maybe she read the spine. then again, she didn't mention the unusual cover artwork, either.

wildwind's "uncovered" some interesting stuff too. it's a bit odd that a fan of those unmentionables would be intrigued by bowie

her spelling is that of a young teen.

nice work if she's a fake, but as with any criminal, she was bound to slip up - and more than once

enoch: ...and maybe the one who created her is posting on this thread...*suspicious-looking, sinister smile*

KellyGirl: Ok, now I'm jealous, she's registered with a similar name to me. I want the attention, ME! Me!

However, In her defense (just because she has such a cool name), she COULD have seen the name David Bowie on the cd in the hospital if it was The BESt of BOwie 1974-79, cause it has 1984 on it and the cd has David BOwie written on it, although not in huge letters.

Anyways, she's freaking me out.

KellyGirl: Wait, wait, wait! Another point brought up! Did anyone notice Kelly's traumatic story had a lot of references to Bowie's songs? The car crash- Always crashing in the same car.Also- " Do you know what its like to see them put your mother in it, when she all cut up from glass and the windsheild braking out?!" Hmm, sounds like Breaking Glass to me. She also has references to Imagine, and you can link her words (with a creative imagination) to several other songs.

Either it's just my paranoia, or something's really happening.

enoch: That's just because Bowie has more songs than verses in the Bible. I'm sure we could turn the posts into a bunch of Beatles references if we wanted.

deadziggywalking: Sorry for me being such a motherfuckin fuckface,but did you lost a memory in that accident,when you don't have a clue about Bowie?Maybe you were his biggest fan,but then all of a sudden....CRASH!You got amnesia...
No no sorry,I didn't meaned it,I am really acting stupid these days.

Quinn_The_Eskimo: Kelly, I believe in you.

JoeTheLion: congradulations on finding david bowie! i am very sorry about your family's accident, my prayers are with you. remember this about bowie: he's british, and although his career started in 1964, he only looks like he has aged about 15 years from that. his "best" time for music is generally regarded as 1969-1980. also, bowie can be anywhere.. he could be me, he could be not.. he could be you

KellyStardust: OK, I didnt answer questions about my familys health, because I got more questions about Bowie than my family, for those who wanted to know, we are doing alright, we have been going to the chiropractor for a few days now to fix us all up. And someone asked about my registry name, I dont see why you guys find it so strange that Im so into Bowie, I live in this world full of things like boy and bands and trendy stuff, and all the sudden, I find out about this artist, who has managed to do so much! Im just curious! Is that a crime? So my name, I was looking through the other places on this site, and found the name Ziggy Stardust stated several times, so I did an internet search for that name, and found The Ziggy Stardust Companion, Im really not sure about Ziggy Stardust, I think he was very fasinating from what I saw, so I just deciced to put it on my registry name, cos I wanted a Bowie-related one. And someone asked about the unusal time I registered, well my mom and dad would kill me if they knew I was online at 4:00am, but they dont, lol, I get up at 3:50am every morning so I can have some free time, I have two siblings so I dont get much time to myself to do what I like. Another person asked about myself getting ChangesBowie. I didnt get it off the internet, Im getting it from the library! So it dosnt cost me a penny! I just have to wait for whoever has checked it out to return it.
And I have a few questions, is David Bowie gay? bisexual? I have looked up this question on the net, but they dress it up and keep going back and forth! Will someone just tell me straight out? please?
PS KellyGirl, sorry if I sorta took your name! :)

JoeTheLion: The basics: Ziggy Stardust was a very popular persona of bowie from 1972-73 who wore drag and was flamboyantly bisexual, and was a glam-rock icon. his perhaps most popular album, "the rise and fall of ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars" was about ziggy, a space alien, who came to earth and was strung up on the modern world, so to speak. ziggy was put to rest in 73, but will come back again in 2002 or so. Bowie was bisexual until the late 80s, when he clamed it was merely artistic exploration, but doubts linger. he was said to have a trist with mick jaggar of the rolling stones. he is married to ex-supermodel Iman with a brand new daughter, and has a son in his 20s from a previous marrige. and as far as the boy bands, most bowie fans consider them the bane of david bowie.. perhaps this is a gross over-generalization.
by the way, i am glad to hear your family is ok.

Coldfyr: Washington State???????????????????

This had better not be another "Persona" .... if it is... there will be hell to pay!!!!!!!!
"Kelly" or whatever you are calling yourself these days

sky_kisser: Well, I find this teenagewildlife saga of mystery/suspense fairly intriguing. Hmmmm...
Let me ponder out loud....

I do note the inconsistencies too.

Like, it's interesting that someone manages to find out this much about Bowie SO quickly, and becomes fairly adept at the message boards, and is so outspoken to defend herself.
I was a newbie here, not too long ago, and I was definitly not that precocious.
Also the references to "at my age" is odd.
I'm that age too (well, sixteen) and I don't often go out of my way to belittle myself like that.
And the large posts which are about mainly yourself intrigues me too. Unless you have a wonderfully large ego, I wasn't able to do that, for fear that nobody cared.

I also don't want to make an enemy by screaming at the top of my lungs
"IMPOSTER!!! AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH" and then leading a witch hunt.

Hmmm... Interesting.... Very interesting indeed.

Well, if you're real, than like they've said, be very proud of yourself. And don't take offence. After all, we're Bowie fans. We're an odd breed. We're bound to be a little paranoid.

If you're fake, I give you a standing ovation on your wonderful character playing skills, and I want to trade notes.

KellyStardust: Coldfyr, I was a bit taken aback, what is this about Washingon that you hate? and what do you mean by "this better not be another persona?" Do you have something against people from Washington? If it helps to say, I not orgionaly from Washington, Im from Utah.
And thank you, JoetheLion for clearing that up for me. I was not able to stay at the Ziggy Companion for very long when I went..What is this about "Ziggy will come back in 2002?"....And did you say Bowie was with JAGGER?! *cringes*

enoch: Here's a question for everyone but KellyStardust: can we go one week without a witch hunt?

It's a wonder Kelly hasn't run off screaming with a new fear for the word "Bowie." (And don't try and turn this into another reason why she must be fake.) Maybe this website is the reason the man gets no attention anymore.

WildWind: Enoch, I don't really consider it a "witch hunt", at least not on my part. I'm just interested in seeking truth. Actually, not even so much that as immersing myself in this fascinating mystery that has so much evidence on either side. I truly don't know what to believe about this. It's the most interested I've been in finding and analyzing evidence since I got rejected from the FBI.

Plus I've been pretty damn bored lately so, y'know, things happen...

In reply to:

It's a wonder Kelly hasn't run off screaming with a new fear for the word "Bowie." (And don't try and turn this into another reason why she must be fake.)

Damn! I was just about to do that!

Coldfyr - it sounds like you have some information that might be useful to my investigation. I'd love it if you'd PM it to me.

Finally, to KellyStardust: If you are real, the best way to get yourself out of this little piece of absurdity is to not post in this thread. Don't explicitly defend yourself, y'know, just continue your quest for David Bowie knowledge, and when you have questions or comments to contribute, post (but search first to see if the topic has already been discussed ).

And let us nutcases sort out this mess.

Boudicea: jeepers! I visited this string 2 days ago, and thought how sweet it was that everyone was being so outgoing and inclusive to Kelly here.....then I read the latest messages! Is there some history with new screen names that I missed? The whole imposter/'db posts here' scandals are getting a little obsessive. Also, I think a few users have a phobia of being fooled into things! It's not a crime to be gullible, and it's much more defensible than turning off a new fan. If there's an 'imposter,' so what? That's part of web culture.
Kelly - hi, welcome to the board!

enoch: Ahahhaha hahahah!! Oh this is so good! I can only imagine what it was like for Boudicea to come back to this thread. Kelly, don't leave this one. You'd ruin all the fun. If you'd start replying to other posts you would start to look a little more convincing though. Now, someone build a chart to compare the rise or decline in other members' posts compared to the rise in Kelly's posts.

glitter0330: KellyStardust-> Well, Bowie's doing a Ziggy 2002 Project. I don't know too much about it...Aparently there's a movie, CD, internet site, ect., ect., ect. comming along with it! Some people think it'll suck...I'm acually kinda excited! Even if it does suck, at least he tried!

Oh! And about the Mick Jagger thing....Well...it might not have even happened...It's like a major Bowie rumour...Keep in mind that it was the 70's and Jagger was a lot cuter back then...Heck! I would have done the younger one!

Well now i'm not so sure if Kelly is real or not! So here goes.....
Could this be FromTheDoom who is now registered? Or maybe it's the imposter of FromTheDoom....Aleczandah is the first name that comes to mind, but it could be anybody. It very well could be FTD. He always finds new, interesting ways to spice up the message board :)
Now, let me say something to show you that Kelly is not real.(even though it dosen't really matter, like Boudicea said, I just find this interesting) I don't know about you guys, but when I first saw pictures of him, especially with all that Ziggy stuff...I was a bit freaked out. Even though I think it's cool now, Bowie's wierdness came as something i didn't really want to know more about. But maybe that was just me.
And did she or did she not at first say that she got the cd ChangesBowie from the internet, and now she's saying she got it from the library?
"I live in this world full of things like boy and bands and trendy stuff, and all the sudden, I find out about this artist, who has managed to do so much! Im just curious! Is that a crime?" No new fan says stuff like that!

power2charm: A friend who took a logic course? Oooh....
...well I can't compete with that!

In reply to:

1. My brother is one of those teens who likes artists "unknown to their peers." They all kind of make fun of his music. He listens to Bowie. These people do exist. I don't care what your stereotype of today's youth is.

You completely missed my point, Enoch. What I said under point #1 of my post was that Kelly played upon the feelings young TWers have about loving an artist (Bowie) who is unknown to their friends. She did this by having the mysterious teen respond to Kelly's inquiry by saying "you wouldn't know". I did not in the least imply that there are no teenagers with unique musical tastes. TW is testament that there are plenty out there.

In reply to:

I'm always reluctant to give the name of a group that I don't think anyone will recognize. A few weeks ago, I was talking to someone about some shows I wanted to see. He had to force the names out of me because I didn't think it'd be worth my breath to mention them. It's not like he would've all of a sudden gained an interest after just hearing the name. I don't yell out David Bowie's name every chance I get.

Well, you should! Here you have accurately read my point and disputed it. Let me respond with two observations. One, I think you're reticence to discuss Bowie puts you in the minority among Bowie fans. I do follow your point, and in certain circumstances I'd also probably keep things low-key (if I was tired or if I thought the person questioning me was dull and I didn't want to talk with them), but most of the time I (and I think most fans) would be amenable if not thrilled to discuss my favorite artist, or at least identify them; which leads to my second point; Two, Kelly was the one who initiated this interaction. She wanted to know what was on that cd, and then when she heard "1984" she loved it. Well, then why didn't she "drag it out" of the mysterious teen, as your friend did to you? My point was both sides of the interaction ring false.

So does my *logic* seem less flawed to you now, E? Perhaps you could run it by your friend, since he/she was the one who took a class on it!

enoch: Yeah, I was kind of asking for that one wasn't I?

power2charm: Hey, no prob. Bowie's right: it is confusing these days!

Anonymous: I find it HYSTERICAL that some here are dissecting this post like they're FBI agents - LMAO!!!

This is a DAVID BOWIE BOARD, NOT A CRIME SCENE! ROTF!! I propose a toast to the man who started it all, ladies and gentlemen, lets raise our glasses and salute the legacy of Barney Fife! *uncontrollable laughter*

Tristan: This thread would have died on page 3 if it weren't for the intriguing post of Power2Charm. He should be given some credit for making this thread interesting.

kisch: Amen. (said just to become Electric Tomato sooner :))

BabyBlueEyes (anonymous): Heh heh heh....
I love this... we have our very own mystery to solve! Well here's some more inconsistencies for ya WildWind; on her fan registry it says her birthday is November 10th 1985, which means she is 14 not 15! Also, she says she's a 'hardcore' fan, yet can't name any songs except 1984... did you call yourself a hardcore fan when you barely knew anything about him? Neither did I. Kelly could be anyone... a TW user having a laugh with an alter ego, David Bowie (well I've heard he does have bad spelling, and the way Kelly constructs her sentences doesn't really seem like that of a young girl), even a certain notorious banned user (begins with A...) come back again. Not that I'm trying to make people paranoid or anything ;)

Rawthorne: Holy contriversy Batman! I can't believe this is still getting reaction. Would the real KellyStardust please stand up?

Emanuelle: Hmmm. I always thought Let's Dance was his most popular album.

The Seer (Anonymous): KellyStardust IS an imposter!
But she is an innocent imposter, right Kell? We both know what's going on here...Don't we "Kelly?"

KellyStardust: OK, this is getting rather annoying. So what if I put my fanism level at Hardcore? I mean seriously, you guys are getting mad at me for liking David Bowie!! This is absolutly insane! So what if I took to him fast? Is that wrong? Should I wait to call myself a 'hardcore fan' until I know everything?! Its ubsurd. Like I said before, clearly you think Im some imposter, if you dont belive me than what proof do you want? Do you not want me to like David Bowie??! Oh, and someone asked about my reaction to Ziggy Stardust's appearnce, I thought it was a very odd sort of look, I told you he looked like a man and woman mixed toghter! And if you didnt think my reacion was dramatic enough, well I didnt want my head bit off it I said anything funny about him. Im actually hesitating to keep writing, because everything I say is scrutinized to no end! But I got ChangesBowie *from the library* yesterday night, and if someone uses this as an "shes an imposter!" sort of thing, I will go crazy, but I liked it to say the least, China Girl, Lets Dance, Ashes to Ashes, RebelRebel and Space Oddity were my favorites. :)

sonofsilence: cough cough anyway ...uummm

1984 is a great song isn't it?

ziggfried: Okaaaaay. I've read some pretty weird stuff on the net before, but this one takes the whole bakery. I mean, this post started off all warm and fuzzy, then it went all joyful and lump-in-the-throaty, and then suddenly everyone turns
into Velma from Scooby Doo on steroids and explains how Kelly was behind the grassy knoll in 1963. If Kelly is a cunning trickster, then those of us with hats should take 'em off for her (or him...) for whipping us up into a damn funny post. If she is real, then she's probably discovered what a bunch of raving nutters hardcore Bowiedom is full of. I should know, I'm one of them. Is Kelly an impostor? Well, there's only one way to find out...Kelly, get Never Let Me Down! When we get her opinion on that, then we will conclusively know where she stands.

P.S. Actually, that won't work. I liked NLMD (sob).

LadyLove: Where in Utah are you from?

The Seer (Anonymous): OK...Like, me and my family were in a really bad car wreck about a week ago...and, uh, we flipped the van like 3 1/2 times and ended up on our roof...now, like, were all seeing the chiropractor to get fixed up...but hey, it was worth it because I discovered Bowie in the hospital...

enoch: OK...Like, me and my family were in a really bad car wreck about a week ago...and, uh, we flipped the van like 3 1/2 times and ended up on our roof...now, like, were all seeing the chiropractor to get fixed up...but hey, it's okay because I'll just talk about my problems to a bunch of weirdos ON THE INTERNET rather than continue on with my life and THAT'll make me feel better....

The Seer (Anonymous): LOL, Enoch!!

grebri: Well maybe she's real, maybe she isn't. Anyone can write David Bowie on a CD cover - it needn't be the original artwork. Don't any of you or your families have CD burners!! So easy to see a CD cover someone has created themselves.

enoch: Well, if Kelly was fake you'd think the person would've given themselves up now that the thread has died. Or at least started giving clues...

sky_kisser: Clues?
Well, uh, she has been giving clues hasn't she? She has this whole righteous outrage of being wrongly accused thing going on, but she's taking it to a crazy extreme.
If this happened to me as a newbie, I'd be gone faster than you can say "What the heck does electric tomatoe mean"
I find this absolutly fascinating. Disect someone's post to tiny little bits for shreds of evidence. Can we try someone else? (j/k)
Personally, I'm a little skeptical, but thats nothing new.
Kelly Stardust, do you like cheese?

I bet the thread dies after I post this... somebody post after me so I don't feel like I killed it!!!

Sylvanelf: Don't worry Sky_Kisser, I'll kill this thread for you! So, KellyStardust/Aleczandah/FTD/Bowie/RegisteredUser, are you real or not? huh? didn't think so! If you are real, private message me about 5 times (long ones) and reply to this. There. That should prove that she's real if she does that. If she's not real...she would be too tired of all this crap to do all that :P

Boudicea: GaaahhhhH! *pulls her bleach-weakened hair in frustration* Buuuuu......Oh, I don't understand.
We've all decided conclusively that KellyWatsit is an imposter? Alrighty then........
As a face-saving measure, I'm going to say that if I were a poster trying to impersonate a recent Bowie convert who before this has been a fan of boy bands, I'd definitely make all the random spelling errors like those that appear in Kelly's post. That being said.....
I'd like it better if Kelly was an imposter, it would be more fun. But by being so aggressive and untrusting, aren't we being incredibly mean if the girl does exist?
I am apparently doing a lot of trailing off in mid-sentence in this post, a sure sign that it's Boudi's bedtime.

But how come I always miss the action?!!!

Phil Collins (Anonymous): You people are just plain silly.

davidsontrent: Who fucking cares......why the hell would someone bullshit about never hearing who Bowie was before and are asking what CD to get.....
you guys are fucked in the head...what the hell is wrong with you...too much weed or acid or something making you paranoid
Seriously think about it....why would she make up a story like this on this forum?...why?
What gives you the right to make this assumption and investigation into this person's life and assume that they are as fucked up as your are....
YOu weren't on the computer at 4:15 in the morning because you would've had your arse kicked by your parents.....again don't make assumptions that everyones lifestyle is worked the same way as yours

YOu aint seen nothing yet

Edited by davidsontrent on 10/21/00 02:30 AM.

Brett: HA ! ziggfried - what a great post. You said just what I was thinking.

If she is not an imposter, she certainly will think that we are all wackos.

Brett: PS ... I think she may have shot JR as well.

ziggfried: Brett, we may laugh, but I think this whole Kelly thing is the tip of the iceberg. Who knows what schemes Kelly is behind, or what knowledge she possesses? Maybe she had something to do with the missing 18 minutes or so on the Watergate tapes. She might be the key to the whole Nixon thing. Maybe she has the secret cure for cancer, the knowledge of how to transcend the wordly dimensions of space and time, and maybe she knows the meaning of life. She might even be behind the Jack the Ripper murders, or know how the hell the pyramids were built. And what about Sid Vicious? Maybe Kelly stabbed Nancy Spungen, then murdered Sid with a lethal dose of heroin. Hell, she might have killed Jim Morrison, or is living with Andy Kaufman somewhere. Maybe she was the only one in the bunker with Hitler and Eva Braun in 1945. Kelly could also be the one who persuaded Bowie to form Tin Machine (shudder). Kelly is the key to everything in the world. Expose her, and everything, yes, even Roswell, is revealed.

P.S. Kelly, were the hell did you hide the Ark of the Covenant?

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