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   >> I Was An Artiste
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Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/22/01 03:51 PM
Splitting Headache--Get Me Out of Here! [re: Kristin Machina]  

It's midnight in Manhattan. The balcony scenes are taking forever. Nigel wants Bowie to look like he's watching a movie, reflecting on his long, painful life.

Bowie thinks: "The only thing long and painful is this shoot. Nigel, we need to talk!"

Nigel glides over to David in a cock-sure manner, "Hey, Davy, Whazzup?"

"First of all, it's Mr. Bowie to you. Second, do you have the foggiest idea of what you're doing?"

"Suuure!" Nigel waved. "You see, I'm trying to capture the...um...essense of...what it's like to be really old and...."

Bowie jumped from the balcony seat, "THAT'S IT!! I've had it! I'm sick and tired of this video. I'm going home to my wife and child! Mates," Bowie called down to his band, "we're leaving!"

The band cheered: "About time...you tell 'im, Dave!"

As Bowie stormed to the door, apologizing quietly to the stunned staff, Nigel cooly called out, "That's just toooo bad. Of course, I'm sure YOU'RE used to being smeared in the tabloids by now." David stopped cold. Nigel continued, "I mean, I'm sure you don't care what others say, 'cause you think you've got nothing to lose. You're a rock star, after all. Bad press is still good press," Nigel slithered up to David, and whispered, "But to an aspiring politician, bad press is still bad press. If you know what I mean."

David clenched his fists and teeth. His face went red. He then let out an exasperated sigh, turned around and said, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Simple." Nigel said. "Instant credibility. Once Hollywood knows that I directed a David Bowie video, I can get out of the teeny-bopper gig before it loses steam. I'll be directing all the REALLY big names, and who knows--I may even direct a feature film! Now, can we be professionals and finish the shoot?"

David's mismatched eyes flashed cold flames. He then meet his band at orchestra level.

"Well?" Gail hoped for an end.

David shook his head, "I'm sorry...."

"Damn it!" the band spat!

"Nigel," David called to the director, "can we have a cigarette break?"
***************************************************************************
The Duke's Castle

"Finally!" Ramona rejoiced, "He's guaranteed to smoke at least 3 at once after that little pipsqueak's little threat.

"I've got him right where I want him," The Duke coldly smirked.

Zane and Dory breathed a sigh of relief...and defeat.

Meanwhile...in the dungeon...

"Leon?" Berlin was shaking the napping prisoner. Leon mumbled.

Nathan called, "Leon?"

Leon shot up in bed, "I'm telling you...I haven't been to Oxford Town!!"

"Calm down, geez," Nathan said. "Berlin thinks he knows how to get out of here."

Berlin said, "Everyone listen up. We're going to pretend that Yankee is sick, since he is the sickliest of all of us..."

"F**k you," Yankee flipped him off.

"Please, Yankee?" Richocet asked.

"Oh..fine!" Yankee took Leon's place on the mat. "OOOOOOOOHHH....the pain....the PAIN!!"

"Help!" Earthling cried out to the guards. "Our friend is sick! Somebody help us!"

The guards did nothing but stand still at their posts.

"I told you it was a stupid idea," Byron sneered.

"Oh, you have anything better?" Berlin glared.

"That was no good," Nathan said. "The fishmen and Dogs have no reverence for life."

Leon was standing in a corner, when he felt something move under his feet. He stepped aside to inspect, when he saw a panel move, and two little hands emerge. It was too dark in the hole to make out a face.

"Oh, excuse me," a soft, tiny, female voice was heard. "I took the wrong tunnel. Excuse me..."

"Wait!" Earthling ran to the hole. "Can you get us out of here?"

"My master will be very angry with me."

"Don't worry, we'll protect you," Ricochet said. "We just need to find two friends of ours. One has a blue dress, the other looks like a half-human, half-cat. Have you see them here?"

"No." The little voice said.

"Damn," Earthling spat. "Well, can you at least show us out of this cell?"

"It's not safe for you," the voice whispered. "You'll only get captured or killed, like that winged man."

"Zero's dead??" Byron's eyes widened.

"I thought no one cared about him," Nathan asked.

"He still didn't deserve to die, poor bloke," Byron said. It could have been me, he thought to himself.

"She's got a point," Berlin said. "We really need to keep out of Duke's sight."

"I can hide you. Follow me..." the voice disappeared down the hole. The opening was narrow, but the slender Bowies were able to just about able to fit through. Nathan had a bit more difficulty.

"Oof," Nathan squeezed down the hole, holding his breath. The others pulled on his legs and coat, until he plopped down on solid ground like a cork out of a bottle.

"Nathan, one word--diet." Byron smirked.

"Follow me..." the voice was heard down a tunnel. It was pitch dark, so the Bowies had to feel their way slowly down the narrow pathway....
***************************************************************************
Angel of Life Hospital

Major Tom's wounds healed quickly. The benefit of an imaginary character is the rules of human healing don't apply here.

Newton and Pierrot were eating popcorn on the hospital bed, watching the only station available--what David was seeing now.

Knock, knock!

Tin swung the door wide open, "Hey, Tommy!"

"Which one?" Newton and Major asked.

"Both of ya, and the clown too! Tired of this reality s**t?"

"Worse than 'The Mole.'" Newton nodded.

"Great--let's break outta here and kick the Duke's ass!!"

"We can't just walk out!" Major Tom objected.

"Don't worry. Monte had a 'very nice chat' with the nurses. If anyone asks, we're on a 'cigarette break.'"

"Oh, good," Newton said, "because David is going to light up a..."

"Just move yer arses!" Tin, Major and Pierrot were off and away...

Don't understand me, just love me


 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*Splitting Headache (kept)  Kristin Machina05/05/01 01:44 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Part II  Kristin Machina05/06/01 02:01 AM
.* Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV  Kristin Machina05/07/01 02:37 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV  Starbuck05/07/01 11:52 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Transmittion  Kristin Machina05/08/01 00:28 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Magical Beings  Kristin Machina05/10/01 02:20 AM
.*Slaughter in the Air  Kristin Machina05/14/01 01:29 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Incurably Ill  Kristin Machina05/12/01 02:42 AM
.*Splitting Headache--No Control  Kristin Machina05/15/01 03:16 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve  Kristin Machina05/16/01 03:22 AM
..Splitting Headache--Get Me Out of Here!  Kristin Machina05/22/01 03:51 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Aladdin Sane  Kristin Machina05/20/01 10:56 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble  Kristin Machina05/29/01 06:56 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  Kristin Machina06/01/01 02:20 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Night Flight  Kristin Machina06/06/01 02:01 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor!  Kristin Machina06/12/01 00:58 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets!  Kristin Machina06/20/01 02:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Zeroed In  Kristin Machina06/22/01 01:46 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Zeroed In  SugarPlumFairy06/27/01 03:54 AM
.*A Note to My Readers  Kristin Machina06/27/01 03:41 PM
.*hello?  Starbuck08/05/01 01:12 AM
.*Re: hello?  Echoes Of A Fairy08/06/01 09:41 AM
.*Re: hello?  Starbuck08/06/01 03:06 PM
.*Re: hello?  decibel08/06/01 07:00 PM
.*MY MY!  Kristin Machina08/06/01 07:06 PM
.*Re: MY MY!  Starbuck08/06/01 09:04 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Morning Becomes Aladdin  Kristin Machina06/27/01 02:37 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Wake Up, You Sleepy Head...  Kristin Machina08/09/01 04:29 PM
.*Splitting Headache--David Who?  Kristin Machina08/16/01 01:50 AM
.*Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  Kristin Machina08/30/01 00:47 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts  Kristin Machina09/14/01 08:27 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Lunch Break  Kristin Machina09/27/01 11:33 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II  Kristin Machina09/28/01 03:21 PM
.*That Crazy Balance of My Mind  Kristin Machina10/23/01 04:06 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings  Kristin Machina10/24/01 03:31 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Underground  Kristin Machina11/16/01 05:01 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Hunger  Kristin Machina11/21/01 01:32 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Busted!  Kristin Machina12/18/01 08:54 AM
.*Splitting Headache--All the Madmen  Kristin Machina01/25/02 02:15 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  Kristin Machina01/26/02 05:52 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  Kristin Machina08/14/02 05:41 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast  Kristin Machina11/09/02 07:03 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I  Kristin Machina11/11/02 04:36 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Kristin Machina03/11/03 03:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b)  Kristin Machina03/12/03 10:53 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b)  dweny03/16/03 04:18 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion  Kristin Machina03/14/03 08:00 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  Kristin Machina03/14/03 08:52 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III  Kristin Machina07/22/03 01:02 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III  revidescent07/22/03 06:39 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  Kristin Machina07/22/03 02:11 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  Kristin Machina07/30/03 09:45 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Blackout  Kristin Machina08/15/03 04:39 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  Kristin Machina08/29/03 01:37 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II  Kristin Machina09/23/03 10:07 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  Kristin Machina10/05/03 11:00 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Back to Normal?  Kristin Machina11/08/03 02:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Finale!  Kristin Machina11/12/03 02:03 AM
.*Before this goes...  Kristin Machina12/30/03 00:20 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/02/04 01:34 PM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ThomasJNewton601/02/04 04:50 PM
.*Re: Before this goes...  Kristin Machina01/03/04 09:55 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/04/04 01:43 AM
.*The Spark  Kristin Machina01/05/04 01:14 AM
.*Re: The Spark  ThomasJNewton604/06/04 01:05 PM
.*Re: The Spark  Kristin Machina04/06/04 02:48 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/02/04 08:36 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  prrrrr10/27/03 03:52 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  White_Owl10/08/03 02:58 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  prrrrr10/07/03 11:46 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  revidescent10/08/03 00:42 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II  ThomasJNewton609/25/03 09:26 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  revidescent09/01/03 00:07 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  ThomasJNewton608/29/03 05:00 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Blackout  ThomasJNewton608/15/03 06:09 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  ThomasJNewton608/09/03 06:18 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  revidescent07/30/03 05:50 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  ThomasJNewton607/30/03 01:07 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  ThomasJNewton607/25/03 01:47 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  Starbuck07/22/03 12:37 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  revidescent03/29/03 00:50 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  SugarPlumFairy04/04/03 07:35 PM
.*Much appreciated!  Kristin Machina04/07/03 06:51 PM
.*Re: Much appreciated!  dweny04/14/03 02:06 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  abe1182503/18/03 10:17 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  Starbuck03/15/03 09:35 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Starbuck03/11/03 06:16 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Paddy-chan03/11/03 07:41 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  SugarPlumFairy03/11/03 07:45 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I  Starbuck11/20/02 08:48 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast  Mousey11/10/02 01:32 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  xgirl8108/14/02 12:49 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  decibel08/14/02 05:54 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  abe1182508/14/02 09:52 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  abe1182502/18/02 12:09 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  abe1182503/08/02 01:00 PM
.*Coming soon...  Kristin Machina03/12/02 10:29 PM
.*Re: Coming soon...  abe1182503/13/02 07:04 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Busted!  decibel12/26/01 03:47 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Busted!  abe1182512/21/01 01:26 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings  abe1182510/25/01 08:07 PM
.*Re: That Crazy Balance of My Mind  Starbuck10/24/01 00:49 AM
.*The Family Tree  Kristin Machina10/24/01 01:09 AM
.*Re: The Family Tree  Starbuck10/24/01 10:26 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II  abe1182510/01/01 12:18 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts  artist_in_a_tunnel09/15/01 09:48 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  Starbuck08/31/01 01:42 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  sparkle08/30/01 02:29 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets!  Starbuck06/21/01 01:20 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor!  Starbuck06/15/01 01:17 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Damage Control  Kristin Machina06/13/01 11:48 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  Starbuck06/02/01 02:25 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  SugarPlumFairy06/04/01 07:16 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble  SugarPlumFairy05/30/01 08:25 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve  SugarPlumFairy05/16/01 08:57 AM
.*Oh, my.  Brainfreezy05/07/01 04:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Splitting Hairs  Kristin Machina05/07/01 00:58 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Part II  Starbuck05/07/01 00:53 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  Atonalexpress05/06/01 00:59 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  marlepluto05/05/01 08:47 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  Starbuck05/05/01 08:01 PM
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