CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Brian awoke. He lit a cigarette, and started smoking. Some would point out that smoking takes years off your life, but the sensible folks would quite rightly point out that these years are taken from the end of your life, and those years tend to be spent impotent, wrinkley and sleeping in your own urine, so a few years early death doesn't seem such a big tragedy. It had been a good night for Brian. It had been a terrible experience for some other people, but Brian had had a good time, and that was all that mattered to him. If the event had led Sarah to a suicide shortly after, Brian would have only been thankful that he had gotten to her beforehand. Sex with an unconscious girl was one thing, sex with a corpse just seemed a little off, to Brian. Brian suddenly became aware of freaky-haired tight-wearing freak standing by the bed.

"Who the fuck are you?" was Brian's, predictably idiotic, but perfectly warranted, opening question.

Jareth sighed. "And he's such a vulgar man", he noted, seemingly to himself: "really most undeserving of such a girl".

"I don't know how the fuck you got in here, or what the fuck you want, but if you don't ge--" Brian's voice trailed off mid-sentence. He noticed Jareth's ample penis being accentuated by his tighter-than-tight tights.

Jareth wasn't entirely sure why Brian had stopped talking. He assumed maybe he was only capable of so many syllables per sentence, and had reached his limit. It had never occurred to him that wearing tights rendering decency impossible might be considered a tad odd by, well, everyone. Jareth stared intently into Brian's eyes.

"There was a girl".

"What, are you the bitch's dad or something?" Brian asked nonchalantly. It wouldn't have been the first time.

At first Jareth was almost offended, but he couldn't deny the close-to three thousand year age gap, so he let it slide.

"No, I'm the goblin king".

There are certain sentences that no matter how sincerely you say them, they will sound entirely sarcastic.

"I see". Brian felt more on home territory now. He smiled. "And you thought you'd sort me out for breaking in your precious baby?" he mocked.

"Something like that", Jareth replied, with sardonic-smile of the century.

"Yeah, well", Brian stood to his feet, "wel--"

Brian interrupted himself, to swing a fist full force into Jareth's stomach, sending him reeling across the room. As brian made to approach something burst from seemingly nowhere, a ball of fur, and claws, and teeth, and the brightest red eyes, lunging for Brian's throat. Brian backed calmly away from the vicious creature, only able to stay calm by being too stupid to have the imagination of what would happen if it caught him. A second creature dived to his leg, and was chewing and scratching away. A third sniggered at Brian's misfortune as he swiped at the second. A fourth landed directly on his head, and was trying to scratch Brian's eyes out. Next thing he new, there was a swarm of them, covering his body from head to foot, scratching and biting and ripping and tearing. One crawled through his trouser's fly, and chewed at the head of his penis until it dripped blood, and thensome.

Jareth stood, and walked towards Brian. "Stop!" he commanded, and the creatures obediently leaped from Brian's body and stood to attention to one side. Brian would have noted there were at least thirty, if he wasn't too busy worrying about the fact he wasn't entirely sure if his penis was entirely attatched any more.

Jareth eyed Brian head to toe. Chunks of hair had been torn out. His eyes were bloodshot, and one of his eyelids had been completely severed. His skin and clothes were all badly torn, and he was losing blood through gashes in seemingly every part of his body.

Brian turned, and ran for the door, but as Jareth clicked his fingers half a dozen of the creatures all dove to the door, their claws sticking into the wood, bearing their teeth at Brian like angry wombats.

"I assure you, if you try to go through that door they will kill you".

Brian turned back to Jareth.

"Wh- what are they?"

"They're vicious little bastards, that's what they are".

"I've never seen anything like them", Brian said, in the manner of one trying to work out whether or not he's going to die regardless of what he says and does.

"And they've never seen anything like you, you heartless, ruthless creature", Jareth responded, with absolute truth. They'd never seen a human being before.

"Are they going to kill me?" asked Brian, through terrified tears.

Jareth laughed. "No, of course not". He absently played with a crystal.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief. He was about to speak when Jareth's crystal magically transformed into a deadly, jagged blade. Jareth's eyes glowed with orgasmic joy.

"Couldn't let them all the fun, could I?"

A cold fear gripped Brian's soul, and then, as the jagged blade painfully tore apart his neck, it was all over.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I hope that I can say the things I wish I'd said.