TW David Bowie Conversation Piece - Forums powered by WWWThreads

OK, here's a quickie...they'll be more tomorrow..
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"Grrrrrrr...." a growl came from Halloween Jack.

Jareth turned up his slender nose, "Don't growl at me, you filthy curr!"

"Uh, I didn't," Jack said with a quizzical look on his face.

"Grrrrrr...." it still came from Halloween Jack, only lower...

"Um," Jack licked his lips, "it's my belly."

Hunky Dory apprehensively creeped under Zane's skirt...

Zane: "Dory, get out of there! Go hide in Earthling's coat."

Tin Machine, "Trying to pass up a pussy between your legs, Zane?" That witty line earned Tin a whack on the head with Nana's cane.

Nana: "For shame, Mr. Machine! There are ladies present! And...Algeria! That wasn't funny!"

Poor Mr. Touchshriek was beside himself with asthmatic giggles. Then his stomach rumbled, too.

Soon came the wave of rumbles from the group.

"I'm hungry," Grace pouted.

"Not now!" Aladdin Sane said, "The Goblin King was about to tell us how the get home!"

Jareth shook his head, annoyed, "There is a troubling lack of focus among the Bowies. Now if could all just pay attention and..."

Boz, "Hypoglycemia-may-impair-mental-function, plus-the-added-discomfort-of-a-stomach-churning-nothing-but-acid, not-to-mention-the-potential-internal-injury..."

Liza said, cheerfully, "It's agreed then! Let's talk over lunch!"

Aladdin: "I'm not hungry."

Jareth: "Me neither."

Major Celliers scowled, "Being around HIM," pointing to the wizard, "ruins my appetite!"

Zero: "Mine too."

Yankee, "I've written my best stuff on an empty stomach..."

Earthling stomped his foot. A sonic boom shook the ground underneath Jareth's dome, and knocked all Bowies to their collective behinds!

Nathan staggered back up, "Earthling!"

Earthling, "Sorry, but I don't like using my special ability too often. It feels like a waste of energy. Aladdin," he addressed the genie, unaffected since Aladdin can float, "you wanna bring us all together, right?"

Aladdin nodded.

"Well, then, a meal is the perfect setting! Break some bread and mend some bridges."

Newton scratched his wig, "But we couldn't go over any bridges. We couldn't leave the island!"

Earthling: "Figure of speech, mate. Now can we put aside all the bullshit and get something to eat?"

There was a long, thoughful pause.

Major Tom: "I've saved some food packets from my capsule, in emergencies--proteiin pills, Vitamin droplets, evaporated milk--Oh, I've got a toothpaste-like container that's really a lovely ham sandwich..."

The Bowies: "Uh, no thanks..." "Thanks, no, Major..."

Then, Pierrot made a series of gestures--he appeared to be tossing a large disk over his head and spinning it around. The disk gets larger and larger...

"Pizza!" Yankee shouts! Pierrot smiles and nods, then mimes a pie falling on his face. Yankee says, "Of course, this city is known for great pizza!"

Jareth sneered, "I don't like pizza."

Berlin folded his arms, "You've probably never HAD pizza."

Jareth: "That's how I know I don't like it," he stubbornly folded his cape around him.

Earthling: "All in favor of pizza, raise your hands."

Everyone did--except the Goblin King.

Major Celliers smiled mischieviously, "All in favor of instituting cannibalism, starting with one over-coiffed, tight-wearing fairy-tale outcast..." the Bowie closed in on...

"OK, OK!" Jareth cowered, "Fine! Just as long as it's someplace tasteful and elegant..."
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The Hunka-Hunka-Burning Cheese Pizzaria.... The place looked like a Fiftie's style drive-in, but it had wall-to-wall photoes and murals of 'the King'. There was even a Sistine-Chapel-like ceiling mural of a half-naked Elvis. The place had metal tables and leopard-print chairs. And Elvis music on the jukebox. Only Elvis music. There are many pizza parlors in New York. This one happened to be totally devoted to a man who just happened to share a birthday with our Bowies.

The owner clearly didn't see the humor. A very large (widthwise) man in his mid-sixties with a jet-black pompadour and a rhinestone apron, found that his own cullinary shrine to the King, was now overrun with queens...and a couple of Jacks. And a few straights.

"I'm-a gonna Royal Flush you wierdos outta here if you don't git out!" The owner scowled.

Ricochet, "We want to order 5 pizzas, please. And about 20 sodas."

"Forget it, Pineapple-Head!"

Ricochet fumed, but Liza and Veronica slid up to the counter...

Veronica leaned into the counter, sideways, seductively, "You know, dah-ling, we were just DEVASTATED when we heard the King was gone..."

The owner blushed, smiling, "Not gone, ma'am...not really."

Liza leaned forward, and crossed her arms on the countertop, giving the owner a very nice view of her..."Oh, Liza and I always dreamed of singing back-up with Elvis...As you can clearly see, I'm a BIG fan!" Some parts of her more than others...as the Pizza owner drooled.

Veronica put a slender finger to her red lips, play pouting, "But, if you don't want us around, then..."

Liza pouted a lip, "We could always...move on..." They turn away, then...

The owner sputtered, "L..l..ladies!!! Ladies! Mah apologies!" He puts his arms around each lady's shoulder, "One must show hospitality to his guest, especially where I'm from--in Memphis!"

Ricochet scratches his head, "How do they do it?"

Tin says, "They're called boobs, Ric."
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Don't understand me, just love me