John Lennon opened his eyes, removing himself from the past he was relating to Gus. He shifted his gaze to the armchair Gus was sitting him and heard the snoring at the same time he saw Gus sprawled out with his eyes closed.
"Hey! This is important! I'm telling you about one of the most significant events in all of history!"
"Wha whaa whaa? what? Oh, I was listening, I just fell asleep right then. So tell me, what happened next?"
"There was a massive custard pie fight."
"I'm sorry I asked." croaked Gus, wiping the sleep out of his eyes.
"After that 1926 show David became a main attraction, people lined up for miles to shoot him in the head. Fifty bucks a shot. He also ended up getting that operation, having the lower part of a dogs body attached to his upper torso. Unfortunately he was banned for three years after humping Mrs Dooley's leg."
"Quite understandable, he was half dog wasn't he?"
"No, unfortunately this was after he was changed back."
"Listen John, something I just don't get, David was born in 1947, there are pictures, anecdotes, how could he have existed for over 500 years? Time travel?"
"No, not in this instance. David WAS born in 1947. David Jones that is. When we discovered this guy after he released his debut album on the Decca label our luck couldn't have been better. Jones was a dead ringer for Bowie, giving us the chance to slip Bowie into the public eye for the first time. Our only problem was, and increasingly is, trying to hide the fact that he doesn't seem to have aged at all in 30 years."
"And Jones? You killed him?"
"No, not at all, in fact he's sitting just over there..."
David was looking at the sign on the far wall that Hermoine was pointing to with her pencil.
EMPLOYEES HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK ANY PATRONS TO REMOVE PAPER BAGS FROM THEIR HEAD. SAID PAPER BAG MUST BE REMOVED WITHOUT DELAY. WARNING : OUR WAITERS AND WAITRESSES HAVE GROIN SEEKING STEEL TIPPED SHOES.
Things could get a little nasty if he didn't play his cards right. So David scooped up the game of solitaire he had started and decided to concentrate fully on the game being played out between him and his former love.
"Hermoine?" He began, pronouncing it Aye-Moe-Eee, and giving himself away before the bag issue could even be resolved. For David had been the only man to pronounce her name in such a way.
"David, oh David it's you, I..." Tears welled in her eyes, and she let fly with a few groin seeking stabs from her steel tipped shoe. Now tears were welling up in David's eyes also, for a whole different reason. He thought of asking her to check his Medic Alert bracelet, but saw the cliché police lingering nearby and decided that he had enough to deal with as it was.
"I tear my soul to cease the pain." David wheezed. He took of the bag and proceeded to use it in a manner that people eating near him found rather offputting.
Buzzers and bells once again, not just in David's head, the interior of the restaurant was flashing bright colors and streamers, confetti and dusty cobwebs fell from the ceiling. A band struck up a tune while a wide eyed cabaret singer belted out, "Yoooou, Yes youuuu, You won a date with Bowie! Say thanks to coco-pops!"
Hermoine was shoved aside in the commotion as the dwarf that looked like a prostitute was led to his table, rose petals thrown before his every step.
All thoughts of the mind numbing pain he was in receded, the world sank away, David lay eyes on the diminutive, make-up caked figure before him in a trance. For the first time in his life, David Bowie felt the power of true love.
Reale made haste in tying the twine to his wrist. The other end was around Quentin's waist, and the television had been plugged in and tuned to static. The doughnut had been very tasty.
"Right, when I give the word Quentin, you climb in that tank and find someone that knows what the hell is going on, right?"
"Right nigger!" Replied Mr Tarantino, not quite knowing how far he was pushing his luck.
Reale tested the strength of the twine by putting it around Quentin's neck and pulling hard. "You say that N word one more time and I'll give you a glare you will never forget!"
"Hey man, ease on down, I'm just hip that's all"
"No time for debating the status obtained by such trivial nonsense, Go! Get in the tank!" The policeman double checked the TV set and saw to his horror that someone had tuned it into the Oprah Winfrey Show. "Dipladoo! Get that damn TV back to static now!"
"But it's Dr Phil day!" Dipladoo had just arrived and had still no grasp on the seriousness of the situation.
"Just do it!"
"I won't have you controlling me like this Reale! Phil says when one person tries to control the relationship it can lead to bitter resentment and a lack of communication."
A splash signified that Quentin had jumped the gun, and was no longer part of our dimension. Meanwhile reports were flooding in of famous dead people disturbing the peace, which would no doubt escalate into disturbing the peace of our time if left for too much longer. Not only that, but Nixon had snuck back out of the water tank while Reale was busy repairing his relationship with Dipladoo, he held a pair of opened scissors and was making a beeline for the taught string that connected Quentin and the other world to ours.
TO BE CONTINUED...
"We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want."
Tao Te Ching