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PHOENIX
(crash course raver)
03/08/02 03:39 AM
Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it [re: PHOENIX]  

CHAPTER 69

David Bowie often found it hard to tell if somebody wanted something he wanted too. Not this time. As he lay in his King Sized Bed he smoked a cigar, for a cigarette would just not be worthy of the bout of love-making he had just experienced with the dwarf-sized, prostitute looking gal he'd fallen in love with.

{An aside - readers may by now be questioning how all the events in this story could possibly have occured on the same night. Here the Santa Claus theory (otherwise known as the Father Christmas theory) is invoked whereapon our character's adventures have taken them across various time zones where they stay ahead of the oncoming day. Please continue if you bought that...}

It was the tongue sucking that had made it special.

Meanwhile, Blaather, smoking one of his Malboroughs, had rather gotten into his copy of, "How To Be A Better Listener, and Allow Things To Fall Into Place";

A story detailing the plight of a Martian who, imprisoned on his dead planet, found he was immortal. This being the case he had to wait a nice even 4000 years for his prison to fall into enough of a state of disrepair before he could escape.

If that didn't suck mightily enough, his home planet had become infested with spiders. Not just your ordinary kind of spiders, no-siree. THESE spiders had seven legs. Other than that they were quite normal.

The Marian's name, for those who haven't already guessed, was Ziggy Stardust


CHAPTER 70

Nyar moped and fiddled with the things on his desk. Unfortunately one of those things was a deadly scorpion which stung him. It was almost as if someone was determined to write him out of the story.

Even with his evil powers the scorpion's sting had made him lose his appetite and had given him slight nausea. Then of all things the doorbell rang, and on his way to answer it he trod on some rusty nails.

It was Gus.

"You don't need to ring the doorbell you fool! You're the butler!" Nyar tersely said, skipping any formal greeting.

"But it's been so many Chapters since I was here" Gus replied

"What? Chapters? What the heaven are you talking about?"

"Never mind. You seem upset, here have a cookie." Gus presented the cookie sized pill to Nyar, all the while trying hard to remember - "was I supposed to give this to Evil Pop or Nyar?" Anyway, at least he would have given the pill to someone.

"That doesn't look like a cookie, it looks like an Evil Destroying Pill. Here, it even says on it - "WARNING - DEADLY EVIL GUY KILLING PILL", and it's pink for crying out loud! With one of those lines down the middle!"

"It's a cookie! I swear!" Gus convincingly replied.

Nyar looked at him suspiciously. "If you say so....now can you get me a large glass of milk so I can swallow my cookie?"

As he finished the word cookie he accidentally cut his wrists. Bleeding and woozy he motioned for Gus to hurry up with the milk.

CHAPTER 71

A sign was being erected outside the Seven-Eleven. It read :

"NEW WORLD ORDER - a non profit organisation"

It had seemed for a while that the ten or so evil tyrants from history would never come to an agreement over who would be the number one leader of this organisation. Then it was settled, the leadership would be rostered.

Then came the obligatory argument over who would be first. Hitler did a lot of yelling, Stalin organised to have his competitors arrested and shot, Khan started setting fire to and destroying everything - then this too was settled. Alphabetical order.

UNCLE ARTHUR - A tyrant SO evil that the human race had blocked him out from their memory. SO evil that it was rumoured :

# He had insulted the cooking of every woman he married.

# Had mooched off his mother for most of his life.

# Was too cheap to drive a car.

Even Hitler shook in his boots around UNCLE ARTHUR. And rightly so, he had the biggest mustache of all the tyrants there. A foot long no less! Stiffly waxed and all.

What had led to such a tyrant being created? And what were his plans?

The answer to the first question - a sad event to do with love. Answer to the second question - destroy music on the face of this planet.

TO BE CONTINUED...

"Another misconception is that flying brains will get tangled in your hair."


 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it (kept)  PHOENIX06/29/01 02:17 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  Cisite12/21/01 04:03 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX01/01/02 07:46 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX01/27/02 08:24 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX03/05/02 04:07 AM
..Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX03/08/02 03:39 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX03/09/02 07:45 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  GoneFairy11/12/03 03:22 PM
.*Paperback writer  White Prism08/29/04 12:28 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/23/04 06:13 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX11/01/04 10:53 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX11/02/04 00:45 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX11/02/04 03:23 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX11/08/04 01:45 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/23/04 06:19 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/23/04 06:23 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/27/04 02:56 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/27/04 03:11 AM
.*My brain just died of happiness  SugarPlumFairy08/03/04 05:43 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  glitter033006/30/01 02:55 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/01/01 05:20 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/02/01 11:02 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  SugarPlumFairy07/03/01 04:46 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/04/01 10:36 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/09/01 09:35 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  SugarPlumFairy07/10/01 02:14 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/16/01 05:30 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/18/01 04:28 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX07/20/01 04:43 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/08/01 10:11 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  Tristan08/09/01 01:00 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/09/01 08:49 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/13/01 03:39 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  Echoes Of A Fairy08/14/01 05:39 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/23/01 10:31 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX08/28/01 02:57 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX10/04/01 04:46 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  Lady_Rowena10/13/01 10:00 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX11/23/01 10:55 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX12/07/01 11:43 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX12/09/01 04:08 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  Starlight69612/16/01 04:30 AM
.*Very Much Appreciated  PHOENIX12/17/01 00:00 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX12/13/01 10:42 PM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX12/17/01 00:07 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  PHOENIX12/20/01 10:10 PM
.*Jetsetter.  Tristan08/14/01 08:24 PM
.*lol  Sylvanelf07/03/01 01:28 AM
.*madamheidi  madamheidi07/03/01 04:26 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  glitter033006/29/01 07:33 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  SugarPlumFairy06/29/01 08:02 AM
.*Re: Pop Goes The God - A story with Bowie in it  discipel06/29/01 07:19 AM
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