The early days of the new year found David very grumpy. He was likely to yell out "Where's My Oatmeal!?", or "These socks are too expensive!". Meanwhile Iman was busy changing Alexandria's diapers and David's diapers.
In a fit of grumpiness he quit the WarChild charity, claiming that they weren't giving him enough money. "What kind of charity IS this?!" he was heard to exclaim, "I haven't seen a penny from them since I joined up!". Indeed he hadn't.
In February news filtered through that Bowie had been nominated for a Grammy Award. The nomination was for best vocal performance on his 'Thursday's Child' track on the 'hours...' album. Just as well he lost because he didn't show up.
Being nominated for Grammies and losing was no new thing for Bowie. He'd done this only three years ago when he was nominated for Best Alternative Music Performance. The alternative was actually a piece of toast. The toast won the award.
On February 26th a grumpy Bowie (near his nap time) appeared at the Tibet House Benefit Concert at Carnegie Hall in New York. Apparently the concert would be of some benefit to a house in Tibet. Perhaps new curtains were needed. It was Bowie's first time performing at Carnegie Hall since the seventies and things didn't go exactly to plan with some soup spilling on his bib prompting a sulky tantrum. "Heroes" and Silly Boy Blue were performed after he calmed down and had a 'time out'.
March followed predictably after February. David spent some time recording an old Nat King Cole song 'Nature Boy' to appear on an upcoming soundtrack for a film called 'Moulin Rouge'. He then sent it over to Massive Attack to see what they could do with it as he completely buggered it up.
In April Bowie's Mother died, possibly from boredom, maybe waiting for the 'Toy' album to finally be released. She was at a nursing home in St Albans, Hertfordshire and told everyone that it was ok to make fun of her passing because she was really old.
April came and the 'Moulin Rouge' soundtrack was brought out. On it was two versions of Nature Boy, Beck's cover of Diamond Dogs and "Heroes" as part of a medley.
CRACK! Music! - There's a lot of stuff on there from that old Major Tom dude. I thought he was dead.
Thin Waif Magazine - The same guy wrote the Dog song and the wierd song. I think that's all he's done.
David's career had degenerated into what is known as the 'Bits 'n' Pieces' stage. A sountrack contribution here, a collaboration there, a tribute cover everywhere. Like a constipated man, only small plops would appear when he strained and pushed.
Another small plop. 'Pictures of Lily', his cover of a The Who song on the 'Substitute - Songs of The Who' album was available for listening when the album was released.
Plop. P Diddy and David Bowie recorded 'American Dream' based loosely around his 'Falcon and the Snowman' song 'This Is Not America'. This collaboration was included on the sountrack to 'American Dream'.
Bowie - "I be da hip hopp'n an all Dat! Darn The Police! Gimme some sweet booty! I gotta...*cough cough*... I want my cough medicine. It's too chilly in here, I want a blanket."
In early October David locked himself in the Glen Touche Studios because he saw some dangerous looking youngsters roaming around the street. Tony Visconti stayed with him and rubbed his sore joints. Together they started work on a new album, promising that they wouldn't forget to actually release it this time.
Needless to say we all know what happened on September 11th in 2001. "You know who" crashed "You know whats" into "You know where". A bunch of famous people got together to have a concert to celebrate what happened. David opened the whole shebang, the 'Concert for New York City' by singing Paul Simon's 'America' and "Heroes". He was originally planning to go with 'Crack City' and 'The Laughing Gnome' but this hadn't gone down at all well in the rehearsals.
Along with the plops, we also have our fair share of plaques, dedications, honorary degrees and "lifetime achievement" awards. This time it was at the toilet in the Three Tuns Pub in Beckinham, the scene of the infamous 'Arts Lab'. To commemorate David's deserting them a plaque reading simply "You Bastard" was unveiled in December. There was much indifferent mumbling and orders for jugs of beer.
By December 15th David's grumpiness knew no bounds. He quit his Virgin/EMI label citing - "The tea they made me was too cold" and "My feet hurt". He decided he would set up his own damn record label called ISO. That would teach those whippersnappers a thing or two. See how they'd like them apples.