All of a sudden, WWII fighter planes wizz overhead and out of one, jumps a single solitary man...wait woman...no man...in a parachute.
All the TWers stood looking in awe at the captain of the 1st Batallion Transvestite Brigade. He had FANTASTIC make-up, a fantastic gun, tight vinyl pants, a long red coat and black 4 inch heeled boots. It was: EDDIE IZZARD!!!
Eddie landed on the ground next to the TWers with his massively impressive gun pointed at the sucky comedians, who were dumbstruck.
Eddie: Go on, give me your best shot, sucky comedians.
Immediately the moment that Joan Rivers was about to open her mouth, Eddie shot her in the head. *crunch*, her brain spilling out like ooze.
Eddie: I never liked her. Next?
*Tom Arnold begins*
Eddie: *yawning* I banish you to charm school!
And with that Eddie got out his can of hairspray and sprayed it in his eyes.
Tom: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm blind!!!
Eddie: Oh hell. *shoots Tom in the belly* Fantastico!
Now Eddie looks at Rosie O'Donnel who has begun pointing her finger into his chest...
Rosie: Listen buster! You may have been able to kill all these other guys, but you can't kill me, I'm Rosie o'donnel!!!
Eddie: And I'm Emporer Fabulous!
Rosie O'Donnel: Listen, you European! Frankly, the only thing you guys ever contributed to humanity was the BUBONIC PLAGUE!
Eddie: You're right, Rosie. And it just so happens that I've collected a fair amount of fleas in my travels in Europe. Would you like to see?
*Eddie stratches his head and messes his hair like a cat, and lo and behold fleas start jumping off of him. Fleas, fleas, fleas, in such multitude locusts would be jealous. All the fleas jumped onto Rosie's face, her body, her legs, the ground around her, until no part of her anatomy was visible. Her screams were annoyingly deafening, that is until fleas started to fill her mouth and choke her. It was a slow and painful death. And there was much rejoicing.
All the TWers were huddled in a mass of amazement. Rosie was dead. Joan was dead. Tom was dead.
All TWers: Hooray!!! Huzzah! Yipee! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!
Eddie fixed his hair and began to speak
Eddie: Well, it seems that my job is done. You won't be troubled by the likes of them, I can assure you that. I must be off to the hairdresser's now.
Elvenlass: Thanks Eddie.
Eddie caught the next plane out of there and the bodies of the strange comedians disappeared, leaving only one thing between all the TWers and the inside of that mansion: A a massive wood and steel door.....
"Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear." - Kevin Spacy in The Ref
|