"WE WANT THE MORE FAMOUS DAVID! WE WANT THE MORE FAMOUS DAVID!" The crowd was getting more and more restless. After they had pierced every conceivable part of their bodies in the piercing tent they had nothing left to do other than cryptic crosswords and the hokey pokey.
David Burnstein paced nervously up and down backstage. Bowie was well over an hour late, and the search party wasn't going well at all. In fact they had eaten all the cake and finished all of the champagne after partying for so long.
Seemingly out of nowhere Iggy Pop popped up. "Oh! Iggy, thank goodness." Burnstein said after taking a peek at his goodies. "Can you keep this crowd entertained until we find the more famous David?"
"I'll try Mr Burnstein," Iggy solemnly stated in a rather sneaky way. "I've got something a little new, but I'm not sure how it will go down...Bwahahaha!"
Burnstein put the evil genius laugh out of his mind. He'd be willing to go out on a limb, which would be a problem in itself for he was scared of climbing trees.
The evil Pop man pranced up to the microphone onstage and announced to the masses, "Oh, everybody, we have a treat for you tonight! Before we give you the more famous David, it's our pleasure to present to you...the one...the only...Iggy Pop!!"
The crowd went nuts, for they had all relinquished their lollipops. This made the Peanut Allergy Emergency Response team more than a little nervous.
Iggy sauntered up to the microphone with the shoe box under his arm.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Tonight I have a special treat for the entire world. Ever since the dawn of man, we have searched far and wide for the meaning of life. After much searching, head scratching and giving up it has finally been found. My learned audience, tonight is the night it will be revealed. Tonight is the night I present to you...The...Meaning...of......LIFE!"
There was some scattered applause. Someone off to the right yelled "Awesome!" Then silence. It mattered little to Iggy, for although he knew that they'd prefer to hear David sing The Laughing Gnome, they had no choice other than listen to him destroy their souls with the meaning of life.
He took out the typed A4 pages, cleared his throat, and began. "Once upon a time, there was a duck that..."
Suddenly a girl with absolutely everything pierced screamed, "Hey! It's David Bowie! Look!'
There was an awkward silence in the back of the cab. McKenzie stole a few glances to his right, towards the strange guy he was sharing the taxi with.
The way he kept laughing in an evil way made him nervous. "Say, don't I know you?" he asked.
"You might. Bwahaha! My name is Bifidus, of the Chicken Bone Emergency squad. Bwahaha!"
"Bifidus! You pulled that chicken drumstick out of my mouth that morning in Kentucky Fried Chicken! I thought I knew you from somewhere."
"Bwahaha! Yes. Bwaha!"
McKenzie kept his disquieting doubts to himself. It looked like Bifidus, but something was amiss. This guy had hailed the cab while McKenzie was on his way to the concert in the Bahamas, and since this is where he wanted to go also he agreed to share his cab with him.
"What's that funny smell?" he asked.
"Bwahahaha! I don't know."
"And why have your eyes suddenly changed color?"
"BWAHAHAHA! I don't know that either."
McKenzie pondered. After being rescued by Bifidus that day, Biffy had related to him that he had a fear of going to Bowie concerts after a horrible merchandising stand accident had left him broke. Now this guy wanted to go to one of his concerts in the Bahamas? It wasn't only the man sat next to him that smelled funny.
"What's that you're carrying anyway?" McKenzie asked, tired of being the one who had to make all of the conversation.
"This? Bwahahaha! Oh, this is a God Destroying Gun, I picked it up at K-Mart before getting in this cab here. Bwahahaha! There's a special on them."
A God Destroying Gun! It was all slowly beginning to make sense. It looked like McKenzie's presence was going to be needed at the concert in more ways than one.
The crowd went bezerk as MbBlenzy, all tarted up under caked-on makeup, and wearing a funny hat, waddled onto the stage with a xylophone under his arm. Iggy's reading was drowned out by the cheers and clapping that this small person, mistaken for David Bowie, got.
This prompted Iggy to do another one of his spastic dances, but nobody was paying any attention. MbBlenzy plonked his xylophone down near one of the many microphones littering the stage, got out his xylophone ploncker, and drew a deep breath.
The crowd grew more and more silent, waiting in expectation of what their mistaken hero was going to play first. Shouts turned to whistles, whistles turned to claps, claps turned to mumbles and finally mumbles turned to the silence of listening.
MbBlenzy, starting to sweat now, started ploncking the xylophone. The only song he really knew was Pop Goes The Weasle, so off he went. Bomp-bomp Bomp-bomp bombombombombomp....Bomp-bomp Bomp-brink! He was nervous, and as such one of the xylophone pieces of metal went flying.
He decided to cut right to the chase, and finish the song quickly. BOMP bomp bombom Bomp!
Shocked silence. A couple of people slowly clapped, to be polite. Someone off to the right yelled "Awesome!"
Iggy grabbed a microphone, having regained his composure. "You see! You see the depths to which your supposed idol has plunged? Forget this Bowie guy, he's all washed up! Listen to the meaning of life, and any disappointment you now feel will surely be washed away!"
He cleared his throat, and started to read again. "Once upon a time, there was a duck that..."
Suddenly, as everything appeared to be happening suddenly at this time, someone in the crowd once again yelled "Oh my God! It's David Bowie!" Someone off to the right yelled "Awesome!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
I like flowers, puppies and KITTENS!