Since I feel like giving this a try but I don't wanna limit Phoenix's song possibilities for the future, I'm gonna interpret that only crappy Bowie tune I know he couldn't do: "Al Alba", the spanish version of "Day-In Day-Out", translated back to english and deciphered by me.

Al Alba

Al Alba / At Sunrise

Ok, so this clearly places our story at a given time frame. Good start.

Al Anochecer / At Sunset

Whoa! Night already? That was fast!

Al Alba / At Sunrise

It's sunrise again?

Al Anochecer / At Sunset

This is fucked. I suggest this story takes place in planet Mercury or something, where the days and the nights last much shorter. Our protagonist is a Mercur...ian, sitting on a rock watching the sun and the moon come and go every few minutes, and pointing them out to amuse himself.

Oo Oo

See? He's having fun.

Oo Oo Oo

Barrels of fun. He's probably clapping and giggling as he sings.

Nacimiento de bolsa / Birth of a bag

A bag is born. I think this is pretty clear and needs no interpretation.

???????????

This is what TW's lyrics page for this song says. At first I thought maybe the person transcribing the lyrics couldn't figure out what David was saying, but after listening to the song myself I can confirm that he does indeed sing 11 question marks at this point. I think this means that the Mercurian is puzzled over the gender of the baby bag.

Esta falta de apoyo / This lack of support

Some rare social commentary on Bowie's part here. He's denouncing the lack of support the Mercurian government provides for newborn bags of indefinite gender. This explains the controversy caused by this song back in 1987. The political pressure was so strong that it was only broadcast once, and then destroyed. At least David could find consolation in knowing he was pushing the right buttons.

Nada vale la pena / Nothing is worth it

The Mercurian is getting desperate. He's contemplating killing the baby to spare it a life of poorness and sorrow. DON'T KILL THE BABY, DAVID! THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE!

Tendre que encontrar el dinero / I'll have to find the money

Oh, thank God he's listened to me. He's going to raise the baby himself. Note that he says "find" the money and not "make" it or "earn" it. This suggests that the protagonist is a careless person who goes around misplacing large quantities of cash. Can this sort of person really be trusted with taking care of a baby?

o que pagar el alquiler / or pay the rent

So, if he doesn't find the money he'll have to pay the rent? This shows that the Mercurian system has increasingly became so unfair, it's literally turned backwards. Only poor people are charged rent, whereas people with money can live in classy apartments without paying a dime.

Este es el muro de proteccion que todos quieren obtener / This wall of protection everybody wants to obtain

Ah, but it's even worse. Like a gang of common thugs, the government provides "protection" from accidents such as mysterious misplacement of money (seems I misjudged our main character before). Everybody wants to have access to this "protection" (do they even have a choice?), but few people can afford it.

Al Alba / At Sunrise

In the face of all this social injustice, and the tragedy of watching your adopted child grow in a place like this, the protagonist's only solace is being able to amuse himself for a few minutes by watching the show of lights in the sky.

Al Anochecer / At Sunset

He smiles, remembering less complicated times, as tears flow down his purple alien cheeks.

Quedate / Stay

A bit of self-reference. "Ah, I remember when I could write good songs..."

O Dejame / Or Leave me

I feel this is the song itself, telling me to stop trying to decipher it and go home. Well, I am home, buddy. And I ain't moving.

Oo Oo

The protagonist tries to recapture his past happiness, but fails pathetically.

Oo Oo Oo

There is no joy in these Oos. Only nostalgia for the past.

Al encontrarse ciudadano / When finding oneself citizen

What happens when you wake up one morning and you find your nationality has suddenly been changed overnight? We've all wondered about that at one time or another, and David is gonna tell us:

Todo acaba bien / Everything ends well

Thanks for the reassurance. That doesn't help me stop being a Palestinian, though. It doesn't help me at all.

Pero creciendo en el USA / But growing in the USA

I don't think this needs explaining, but I'll do it anyway, just in case. The word "el", meaning "he", is used to describe the USA. This means that we're not talking about the country, but about a male person named USA. That's not his name, though: they're the initials for Ursula S. Andrews. Yes, Ursula is a woman's name, but then how could someone grow inside USA if he wasn't a woman? In short, Ursula is a pregnant woman posing as a man, as part of an hilarious scheme to regain the love of her children.

Alguien da la campana y todo acaba / Somebody gives the bell and everything ends

This line paraphrases a Biblical quote: "A bell is given, and the world endeth". The Apocalypse is coming. Days turn into nights turn into days. Aliens give birth to plastic supermarket bags. Men named Ursula become pregnant. Prepare yourselves for the Judgement Day.

Decidirse por hacer algo / Deciding to do something

DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING!!

Robando por exitacion / Stealing for excitement

Sexual excitement? If we were talking about another songwriter it could be up for debate, but since this is David "Take My Tip" Bowie, there's little doubt that any dirty interpretation we can think of is not only valid but deliberate. So, Ursula steals things on account of his tremendous sexual urge. What's he stealing, then? Why, dildos, obviously.

Al Alba / At Sunrise

He masturbates all day.

Al Anochecer / At Sunset

He fucks all night. No wonder he's pregnant, the tramp.

Quedate Conmigo / Stay With me

"Don't leave yet," he says to a sailor he picked up at the docks, "I want to make love to you all night long."

O Dejame / Or Leave me

He's bipolar. It's probably just the hormones.

Oo Oo

Ursula reaches an orgasm.

Oo Oo Oo

Multiple orgasms! Oh my.

Le hacen falta minutos / He needs minutes

Ursula needs to buy a new card for his cell.

tal vez ????????? / maybe ?????????

Ursula sees ????????, the now grown up alien bag of indefinite sex, and wonder if he could ask it for some money to buy more minutes for his cell. But hey, why ask for it? Why not just steal it? And while we're at it, why not steal its dildos too?

Ella no tiene dinero / She has no money

But ???? the bag has no money. Or dildos. So a coked up Ursula beats her up with some chains.

Extrana el otro lado / Misses the other side

Now Ursula is in jail for sending ???? to the hospital, and, oddly enough, finds himself missing the outside world.

Vamonos muchacha / Let's go girl

Push! Push! Ursula's baby is being born inside the prison. The inmate delivering the baby calls Ursula "girl" because Ursula is his bitch.

?, la noche, la guardia, ? / ?, the night, the guard, ?

? doesn't hold a grudge and as soon as he comes out of the hospital, he/she tries to break into prison at night to rescue his/her friend Ursula.

Con un billete a ningun lugar / With a ticket to nowhere

Ursula: "How can I thank you for saving me, "?"?
?: "By going away."
Ursula: "But... But... I love you!"
?: "I know. But you tried to steal my dildos and beat me up. We can never be together. I'm asexual and you're transgendered. It would never work, toots."
Ursula: "*sob* Where am I supposed to go?"
?: "Nowhere. They'll never find you there. Here's a ticket."

Se va montando en el tren / She's mounting the train

NO! IT'S NOT A HORSE, YOU FOOL! IT'S A TRAIN! YOU'LL FALL AND DIE!!!

No la conocen ni la llaman / They don't know her or call her

? begs the machinist to stop the train and warn Ursula that it's not a horse, but he goes "Why should I do that? I don't know her. If she was a personal friend or somethin' I'd do something, but I don't even know her name."

Esta deseada por el / She's desired by him

YET... Yet the machinist loves Ursula. Such is her manly charm. He stops the train and declares his undying love for Ursula. ?? is jealous and pissed off.

?? arma de fuego / ?? firearm

?? is so angry he grabs up a flamethrower and kills them all.

Apuesta a Dios y la droga / Bet to God and the drug

High on illegal substances, ?? goes to the races and bets all his money on God. "But... God is not a horse, sir..." the man in the stall says. ?? shows the guy his/her flamethrower and insists.

Tampoco esta sobre aviso / It's not over announcement either

Obviously it's not over announcement, either. How else could it be?

Es una muchachita enojada / She's an angry little girl

I can't make heads or tails of this line. Someone please help.

Al Alba / At Sunrise
Al Anochecer / At Sunrise
Quedate Conmigo / Stay With me
O Dejame / Or Leave me

Ok.

Mxy's Bizarre Webcomic. Updated daily.