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Remade/Remodeled
(acolyte)
10/30/06 02:33 AM
City of the Dead [re: Remade/Remodeled]  

They tell me I'm wrong but I'll continue to stumble along
and forget my name; it was never important to begin with
I think it was more for them than for me and I am tired of a life
bending over backwards to accomodate what you
felt you need and wanted and were dying to find out
But remained unimpressed when you discovered that what I had
was not an answer per se but just a vortex
in which you could immerse yourself and come out none the wiser
3 days later
with disheveled hair and a renewed desire to never return
though to him or me you couldn't recall
I didn't love you but I never said I did and though I heard you say so
many times I forgave you because you were in a tight spot and I was half there as a friend as much as anything else. Some friend, yes.

And I'm bored of continually writing about the same things
as if it was all I thought about
when there are a million desires I feel on a daily basis more important and, indeed, poetic than how I feel about you and I
though I struggle to put those into words and, over the years,
I think I am working towards developing a single unified statement regarding the whole mess;
I guess you will concur that those about you are better than those about her, no?

Oh but I guess hers were written in a time when I was more innocent with my emotions...
but, you must remember that I was also much more self conscious then
and I think I was struggling with a lot of things that I preferred not to address and instead stuck with the
'I have loved and I have lost' approach to explain everything
when in reality I don't think it was love and in the long run the lost was for the best;
she was kind enough to give herself to me absolutely but she had not that much going on that did not relate solely to her and she could justify any of her actions based on her claim that I hated myself
which was not 100% true but, needless to say, I had the last laugh...
do you mind that my thoughts about you become eulogies to her?

But anyway I hope this finds you well and remember that
I never mean anything I do or say and I am equally confused
by whatever comes out of my mouth and wipe the sweat from your forehead and forget I ever called because you're staying there
and I will be here and everything will remain static until February I think, though they've closed down my favourite bar
and I assume Thursday nights aren't as fun

Stop sobbing. You've lost me. Your story is fractured and self-contradictory. I think your hair is beautiful. Yes it was me but I was working as part of a team. No one was hurt. It's on my wall, though you can see the guilt in my eyes in the photograph. Goodbye.

Disclaimer: All opinions stated and allegations made in the preceeding do not represent the view of Evan Torrie, the Moderators or the TW Message Board as a whole


 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*I... like... things  Remade/Remodeled03/09/03 05:29 PM
.*Maxwell's Demon  Remade/Remodeled04/08/11 10:01 AM
.*You may think again  Remade/Remodeled04/24/08 12:21 PM
.*Goodbye to all that  Remade/Remodeled11/20/08 11:21 AM
.*Atomic Ranch  power2charm11/26/08 11:16 PM
.*Davies  Remade/Remodeled03/08/08 12:02 PM
.*Tough guy Tongieri  Remade/Remodeled01/02/08 01:05 PM
.*Sun Catcher  JarethsGirl01/12/08 01:33 AM
.*cavalry  Remade/Remodeled11/16/07 11:40 AM
.*Re: cavalry  Diamond Frog11/18/07 07:35 PM
.*Paunch and Judy  Remade/Remodeled11/18/07 09:40 PM
.*Keihan express to Kyoto, just missed the rapid  Remade/Remodeled06/25/07 07:27 AM
.*Dead Star  JarethsGirl07/03/07 05:48 AM
.*Toothpaste in my hair  Diamond Frog09/07/07 07:28 PM
.*Autumn  JarethsGirl10/02/07 09:40 PM
.*Re: Autumn  Diamond Frog10/03/07 05:34 AM
.*Re: Autumn  JarethsGirl10/03/07 11:07 AM
.*Re: Autumn  Diamond Frog10/03/07 11:26 AM
.*David Sylvian   Tristan10/03/07 11:44 AM
.*Re: David Sylvian   Diamond Frog10/03/07 12:05 PM
.*Fag on the Crag Hag  JarethsGirl10/04/07 06:34 AM
.*Re: Fag on the Crag Hag  Diamond Frog10/04/07 05:48 PM
.*Re: Autumn  Diamond Frog10/03/07 05:25 AM
.*But I love it, sorta  Remade/Remodeled06/23/07 01:57 PM
.*Re: But I love it, sorta  guiltpuppy06/23/07 10:44 PM
.*When they were young  Remade/Remodeled05/31/07 02:00 PM
.*Nine years  Froggy Starlust05/31/07 03:22 PM
.*Taking control  Remade/Remodeled06/01/07 01:41 AM
.*Envy  Froggy Starlust06/01/07 06:22 AM
.*Re: Envy  JarethsGirl06/02/07 06:06 AM
.*C'mon, it's the 90s!  Remade/Remodeled01/21/07 12:44 PM
.*Don't like it but I guess I'm learning  Remade/Remodeled01/12/07 10:38 AM
.*Re: Don't like it but I guess I'm learning  Froggy Starlust01/12/07 08:22 PM
.*Time is all that is written in stone  JarethsGirl01/15/07 05:56 AM
.*Je ne parl pas Francais...  theidiot201/15/07 04:42 AM
.*Re: Je ne parle pas français...  Froggy Starlust01/15/07 06:07 AM
.*Touche mon cul  Remade/Remodeled01/13/07 10:21 AM
.*Re: Touche mon cul  Froggy Starlust01/13/07 10:23 AM
.*Gommen  Remade/Remodeled01/13/07 10:32 AM
.*Re: Gommen  Froggy Starlust01/13/07 10:34 AM
.*L'alcool  Froggy Starlust01/12/07 06:57 PM
.*Invisiblés  JarethsGirl01/15/07 07:52 AM
.*Put me to sleep  Froggy Starlust01/19/07 08:58 AM
.*Drowning my wounds in ink  Froggy Starlust01/19/07 09:09 AM
.*Re: Drowning my wounds in ink  Froggy Starlust01/19/07 09:17 AM
.*I'm a boil in pigtails..  JarethsGirl01/22/07 08:47 AM
.*Vertigoes  Froggy Starlust01/22/07 02:04 PM
.*Re: Drowning my wounds in ink  Froggy Starlust01/22/07 09:12 AM
.*Sleep Just Unhinges My Fears  JarethsGirl01/23/07 06:19 AM
.*Re: Sleep Just Unhinges My Fears  Froggy Starlust01/23/07 08:05 AM
.*Like Stu, aka The Candyman  Remade/Remodeled01/23/07 12:11 PM
.*Re: Like Stu, aka The Candyman  96dbFreak02/06/07 05:20 PM
.*A Healthy Relationship  Froggy Starlust01/25/07 09:29 AM
.*A Huge Improvement  Froggy Starlust01/25/07 10:03 AM
.*Post-Coitum  Froggy Starlust01/25/07 11:34 AM
.*My Left Hand  Froggy Starlust01/25/07 12:43 PM
.*Shauna  JarethsGirl01/26/07 06:16 AM
.*Re: Shauna  Froggy Starlust01/26/07 06:29 AM
.*The Advent of the Human Racist  JarethsGirl01/28/07 05:08 AM
.*Funny little goldfish  Froggy Starlust01/28/07 07:29 PM
.*Re: The Advent of the Human Racist  Froggy Starlust01/28/07 05:03 PM
.*Re: The Advent of the Human Racist  Strawman01/28/07 05:12 PM
.*Like I said, balance...  JarethsGirl01/29/07 02:49 AM
.*Killer Supernova  Froggy Starlust01/29/07 07:17 PM
.*...roar  JarethsGirl02/09/07 08:28 AM
.*Old and Unwise  Froggy Starlust02/09/07 09:03 PM
.*Sometimes you win, sometimes you booze  JarethsGirl02/10/07 10:30 AM
.*Immortal  Froggy Starlust02/28/07 07:58 PM
.*Pluto  Froggy Starlust02/12/07 08:07 PM
.*Fruitlessness  JarethsGirl03/01/07 03:08 AM
.*Re: Fruitlessness  Froggy Starlust03/03/07 07:00 AM
.*Re: Woa-manipulation!  Froggy Starlust02/09/07 08:26 PM
.*Come together  Remade/Remodeled01/30/07 01:35 PM
.*Re: Killer Supernova  JarethsGirl01/30/07 01:21 PM
.*Playing Husband  Froggy Starlust01/30/07 02:52 PM
.*Grown Up  JarethsGirl02/01/07 08:03 AM
.*this is how i start, but the tone changes up on me  JarethsGirl02/01/07 08:05 AM
.*Let's get physical  Remade/Remodeled02/01/07 11:58 AM
.*2 A.K.  Froggy Starlust02/05/07 10:07 AM
.*Appealing to a mass of senses  JarethsGirl02/02/07 12:07 PM
.*My Darkening Son  JarethsGirl02/01/07 06:58 AM
.*Re: My Darkening Son  Froggy Starlust02/01/07 01:27 PM
.*Re: My Darkening Son  JarethsGirl02/02/07 12:19 PM
.*Just because  Froggy Starlust02/02/07 06:29 PM
.*Specimen  JarethsGirl02/03/07 06:49 AM
.*Whiskey Girl  JarethsGirl02/02/07 12:13 PM
.*Global Warming  Froggy Starlust01/23/07 06:52 PM
.*Easy Writing  Froggy Starlust01/24/07 05:08 AM
.*You show me respect  Froggy Starlust01/24/07 05:25 AM
.*Re: Like Stu, aka The Candyman  Froggy Starlust01/23/07 12:16 PM
.*I must confess  Froggy Starlust01/19/07 01:08 PM
.*My loneliness is killing me  Remade/Remodeled01/21/07 12:52 PM
.*I must confess v2  Froggy Starlust01/21/07 07:17 PM
.*Re: My loneliness is killing me  Froggy Starlust01/21/07 06:52 PM
.*Re: I must confess  Froggy Starlust01/19/07 03:39 PM
.*Southern Seas  Froggy Starlust01/15/07 11:40 AM
.*Re: Invisiblés  theidiot201/15/07 09:24 AM
.*Re: L'alcool  Froggy Starlust01/13/07 10:40 AM
.*quelle connerie  anisette01/13/07 10:47 AM
.*I should be asleep  Remade/Remodeled01/13/07 10:45 AM
.*Re: I should be asleep  Froggy Starlust01/13/07 10:47 AM
.*Don't you know you're gonna...  Remade/Remodeled12/17/06 10:57 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  Claude12/09/06 00:11 AM
.*Runaway Horses  Remade/Remodeled11/26/06 10:03 PM
.*The Temple of Dawn  Remade/Remodeled12/08/06 09:39 AM
.*The Decay of the Angel  Remade/Remodeled12/09/06 04:58 AM
.*Giving instructions on how to use machines  Remade/Remodeled11/26/06 10:24 AM
.*Spring Snow  Remade/Remodeled11/24/06 10:09 AM
..City of the Dead  Remade/Remodeled10/30/06 02:33 AM
.*Smoke Screen  JarethsGirl11/19/06 07:27 PM
.*Handle me with care  Remade/Remodeled11/28/06 11:14 AM
.*Grow Me Down  JarethsGirl11/12/06 10:02 PM
.*42nd month review  Remade/Remodeled11/07/06 12:58 PM
.*Re: 42nd month review  JarethsGirl11/16/06 07:57 AM
.*Pacifier  Remade/Remodeled10/27/06 10:49 AM
.*How long how long how long  Remade/Remodeled10/23/06 11:13 AM
.*Never get older  EmpireStateHuman08/14/06 04:34 AM
.*Unguarded  JarethsGirl10/26/06 04:48 AM
.*Last One Standing  EmpireStateHuman06/29/06 11:21 AM
.*Another first time  EmpireStateHuman07/11/06 07:12 AM
.*I'd Like It  JarethsGirl07/16/06 04:18 AM
.*To Love  JarethsGirl06/30/06 01:20 AM
.*Re: I... like... things  bluequeen06/12/06 01:24 PM
.*Incessant rhyme time  JarethsGirl06/12/06 07:37 PM
.*In the Annexe  Remade/Remodeled01/09/06 07:26 PM
.*remember why we love each other  beatled02/27/06 03:15 AM
.*J'ai ne marre [unfinished]  Remade/Remodeled02/27/06 07:32 PM
.*Or else  Remade/Remodeled05/01/06 10:17 PM
.*Swell  JarethsGirl05/06/06 09:19 PM
.*Imperceptible Hum  JarethsGirl05/06/06 03:13 AM
.*Everythings gone green  EmpireStateHuman05/29/06 05:43 PM
.*To you- whoever you are  EmpireStateHuman06/11/06 12:52 PM
.*I didn't ask for this  JarethsGirl06/12/06 03:43 AM
.*Life IST Life!(where every Thing is just a number)  Beltene06/08/06 05:41 AM
.*Re: Life IST Life!(where every Thing is just a num  guiltpuppy06/08/06 06:16 AM
.*Re: Life IST Life!(where every Thing is just a num  Beltene06/08/06 06:42 AM
.*Re: Life IST Life!(where every Thing is just a num  guiltpuppy06/08/06 07:33 AM
.*Re: Life IST Life!(where every Thing is just a num  Beltene06/08/06 09:15 AM
.*Re: Everythings gone green  guiltpuppy06/04/06 06:22 AM
.*Editor  JarethsGirl05/07/06 03:12 AM
.*Ain't no fun  Remade/Remodeled05/07/06 08:12 PM
.*Re: Ain't no fun  guiltpuppy05/11/06 05:26 AM
.*I don't have the answers  JarethsGirl05/26/06 04:08 AM
.*Re: I don't have the answers  JarethsGirl05/27/06 04:44 AM
.*J'en ai marre  stick02/27/06 10:34 PM
.*Ambivalence  Remade/Remodeled10/18/05 02:27 PM
.*Antipathy  Remade/Remodeled10/25/05 10:38 PM
.*Again  Remade/Remodeled11/23/05 07:51 PM
.*my first time...ha ha  Vanessa_Y11/23/05 11:10 PM
.*I still maintain that I am a dick.  schizophrenic11/23/05 11:18 PM
.*Anticipation  Remade/Remodeled10/13/05 12:14 PM
.*Redemption Blues  Remade/Remodeled09/21/05 11:27 PM
.*the tankers send waves through casco bay  beatled10/02/05 09:19 PM
.*She won't set herself on fire for me anymore  Remade/Remodeled10/08/05 00:51 AM
.*Re: She won't set herself on fire for me anymore  Vanessa_Y10/10/05 10:25 PM
.*Na you c'mon  Remade/Remodeled10/12/05 00:19 AM
.*Acquiesce  Remade/Remodeled10/13/05 01:00 AM
.*Re: Na you c'mon  Vanessa_Y10/12/05 08:45 PM
.*Re: the tankers send waves through casco bay  schizophrenic10/02/05 11:12 PM
.*21 candles  Remade/Remodeled08/14/05 11:23 PM
.*The history of them all  Remade/Remodeled07/13/05 09:11 PM
.*Think twice  Remade/Remodeled07/03/05 07:40 PM
.*Re: Think twice  Froggy Starlust08/18/06 08:30 AM
.*Another day for you and me in paradise  Remade/Remodeled08/18/06 10:14 AM
.*Re: Another day for you and me in paradise  Froggy Starlust08/18/06 10:25 AM
.*A house is not a motel  Remade/Remodeled08/18/06 10:45 AM
.*my letters never get to him  beatled07/08/05 10:55 AM
.*Always getting closer  Remade/Remodeled05/18/05 10:25 PM
.*quickie  JarethsGirl05/19/05 04:58 AM
.*Lady Writer  Remade/Remodeled05/03/05 07:49 PM
.*stuck  JarethsGirl05/18/05 06:21 AM
.*First Time in Years  Remade/Remodeled04/19/05 07:00 PM
.*Hey, that's no way to say goodbye  Remade/Remodeled03/15/05 07:28 PM
.*(Just like) Starting over  Remade/Remodeled03/23/05 09:21 PM
.*pangea  beatled04/13/05 04:19 AM
.*for anais nin  beatled04/13/05 04:20 AM
.*This is what you want, this is what you get  Remade/Remodeled12/30/04 03:14 AM
.*Let down & hanging around  Remade/Remodeled02/21/05 05:54 PM
.*Re: Let down & hanging around  schizophrenic02/21/05 06:28 PM
.*Coming down again  Remade/Remodeled03/01/05 08:22 PM
.*100 Years Ago  Remade/Remodeled03/01/05 08:38 PM
.*Stranger Song  Remade/Remodeled12/20/04 03:54 PM
.*Re: Stranger Song  blacktropic8412/20/04 04:30 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  OleanderWhoosh09/13/04 10:36 PM
.*Threadbare  Remade/Remodeled08/09/04 10:43 PM
.*Superstition  Remade/Remodeled09/13/04 06:06 PM
.*Isis  Remade/Remodeled09/13/04 08:19 PM
.*carving autumn flesh of you  beatled10/09/04 02:12 PM
.*My favourite mistake  Remade/Remodeled06/23/04 10:32 PM
.*Re: My favourite mistake  Beltene06/23/04 11:43 PM
.*The mundanest story ever told  Remade/Remodeled04/15/04 07:44 AM
.*Re: The mundanest story ever told  Grey_Nihilist04/16/04 07:57 PM
.*Something for Nothing  Atonalexpress01/25/04 10:12 PM
.*nowadays  krettis01/27/04 07:06 AM
.*Binary  Remade/Remodeled10/07/03 08:18 PM
.*Re: Binary  vintagerock2410/07/03 08:25 PM
.*Re: Binary  beatled10/07/03 08:23 PM
.*After Hours  Remade/Remodeled09/08/03 05:10 PM
.*Re: After Hours  kellyjean10/08/03 10:14 AM
.*Rut  Remade/Remodeled09/07/03 05:26 PM
.*Re: Rut  vintagerock2409/07/03 07:29 PM
.*Poetry by numbers  Remade/Remodeled08/14/03 01:50 AM
.*Resonance  Remade/Remodeled08/12/03 07:57 PM
.*Like fuck I know  Remade/Remodeled08/06/03 08:29 PM
.*And, in the death...  Remade/Remodeled06/29/03 07:11 AM
.*But I won't be getting up today  Remade/Remodeled07/14/03 10:37 PM
.*this is so literal it's almost funny  beatled07/25/03 02:06 AM
.*a one way conversation with you  beatled07/25/03 02:14 AM
.*You're just the same as I am  Remade/Remodeled07/27/03 06:15 PM
.*it could...right?  beatled10/07/03 09:25 PM
.*Fingers Crossed  Remade/Remodeled11/02/03 10:12 PM
.*disa-  beatled02/04/04 06:10 PM
.*As always  Starlite02/04/04 11:06 PM
.*a conversation as good as sex.  beatled02/11/04 12:45 PM
.*beatled's mind on crack: ten minutes of chaos.  beatled02/19/04 11:18 AM
.*Re: beatled's mind on crack: ten minutes of chaos.  Grey_Nihilist02/19/04 07:03 PM
.*proclivity  beatled02/04/04 06:06 PM
.*mouth shut.  beatled01/25/04 07:27 PM
.*You are what you know  Remade/Remodeled03/10/04 05:14 PM
.*Good use of words  Strawman05/15/03 07:41 AM
.*Re: Good use of words  96dbFreak02/06/07 06:53 PM
.*Never  Remade/Remodeled05/13/03 00:57 AM
.*Necromancy  Remade/Remodeled04/26/03 10:51 PM
.*Dancing in the Dark  Remade/Remodeled03/26/03 06:22 PM
.*Re: Dancing in the Dark  OleanderWhoosh12/26/04 06:46 PM
.*Re: Dancing in the Dark  SugarPlumFairy03/26/03 06:26 PM
.*Er...  Remade/Remodeled03/26/03 08:28 PM
.*Re: Er...  SugarPlumFairy03/26/03 08:29 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  Halloween Jill03/11/03 07:20 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  Cucumber03/10/03 06:15 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  TalentedChild03/10/03 12:36 PM
.*I've no need for weed.  T.J. Newton03/10/03 07:59 AM
.*Re: I... like... things  moonspyke03/09/03 09:28 PM
.*Re: I... like... things  SugarPlumFairy03/09/03 10:05 PM
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