This one is a cautionary tale as well as a bit of lighthearted fun...

The Saucy Maid

Long ago there lived a maid,
Whose dreams were lewd in thought,
She'd smile and wink at all the men,
She'd tease, but not be caught.

For the saucy maid had other plans,
She'd land a husband rich,
And when she'd taken all he had,
She'd leave him in a ditch.

Now it chanced that in that very town,
There lived an aging fool,
A man whose gold surpassed the stars,
But stubborn as a mule.

The saucy maid did plot and plan,
And slowly bide her time,
"For once he's had a taste of me,
What's his shall all be mine!"

She slipped into her finest dress,
She pulled her neckline low,
For once the old fool looked within,
He'd surely sell his soul.

She swayed upto the old fools house,
Her lips were full and ripe,
Her skin was soft as buttermilk,
Her hair was blonde and bright.

She knocked upon his door three times,
And struck her sausiest pose,
She smiled until her teeth shone white,
She flashed her legs and hose.

But when the door did open,
She screamed and yelled in fright,
For all her cunning she'd not seen this,
The fool did have a wife.

With a roar of bestial rage,
The wife did heft her broom,
Her arms were large as slabs of beef,
Her face was like a bulls.

The maiden shrieked and turned and fled,
The wife did swing her broom,
She yelped as bristles stung her head,
She ran but she was doomed.

The wife tore at her flimsy dress,
It ripped across it's length,
And naked now did the run the maid,
And run with all her strength.

How the men did cheer to see,
The maiden running wild,
They laughed to see a sight so strange,
A maid chased by a wife.

And so my friends our story ends,
As all good stories do,
The maid had learned her lesson well,
Her wicked days were through.

From that day forth she changed her ways,
A saucy maid no more,
For the wife soon had her well in hand,
And set to scrubbing floors.

PORK SCRATCHINGS!!! Art thou insane? Myspace.