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Persilot
(acolyte)
01/02/07 07:52 PM
The saucy maid [re: Persilot]  

This one is a cautionary tale as well as a bit of lighthearted fun...

The Saucy Maid

Long ago there lived a maid,
Whose dreams were lewd in thought,
She'd smile and wink at all the men,
She'd tease, but not be caught.

For the saucy maid had other plans,
She'd land a husband rich,
And when she'd taken all he had,
She'd leave him in a ditch.

Now it chanced that in that very town,
There lived an aging fool,
A man whose gold surpassed the stars,
But stubborn as a mule.

The saucy maid did plot and plan,
And slowly bide her time,
"For once he's had a taste of me,
What's his shall all be mine!"

She slipped into her finest dress,
She pulled her neckline low,
For once the old fool looked within,
He'd surely sell his soul.

She swayed upto the old fools house,
Her lips were full and ripe,
Her skin was soft as buttermilk,
Her hair was blonde and bright.

She knocked upon his door three times,
And struck her sausiest pose,
She smiled until her teeth shone white,
She flashed her legs and hose.

But when the door did open,
She screamed and yelled in fright,
For all her cunning she'd not seen this,
The fool did have a wife.

With a roar of bestial rage,
The wife did heft her broom,
Her arms were large as slabs of beef,
Her face was like a bulls.

The maiden shrieked and turned and fled,
The wife did swing her broom,
She yelped as bristles stung her head,
She ran but she was doomed.

The wife tore at her flimsy dress,
It ripped across it's length,
And naked now did the run the maid,
And run with all her strength.

How the men did cheer to see,
The maiden running wild,
They laughed to see a sight so strange,
A maid chased by a wife.

And so my friends our story ends,
As all good stories do,
The maid had learned her lesson well,
Her wicked days were through.

From that day forth she changed her ways,
A saucy maid no more,
For the wife soon had her well in hand,
And set to scrubbing floors.

PORK SCRATCHINGS!!! Art thou insane? Myspace.


 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Persilot09/24/06 11:34 AM
.*Such a rush  JarethsGirl11/26/06 12:08 PM
.*Game. Flood. Atlas.  theidiot211/30/06 05:04 AM
.*The sweetest pain  Persilot11/30/06 02:23 PM
.*Sleepers  theidiot211/28/06 11:28 AM
.*How It Feels  JarethsGirl12/04/06 06:37 AM
.*The Passing  theidiot212/05/06 05:14 AM
.*No Title  JarethsGirl12/07/06 06:39 AM
.*Re: Sleepers  Persilot11/28/06 02:13 PM
.*As yet unpublished shite  Persilot11/19/06 06:57 PM
.*Drift  Persilot11/19/06 07:20 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Strawman11/11/06 05:49 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Sam_X11/12/06 07:13 PM
.*bloody awful  ghostlove11/07/06 01:33 AM
.*Re: bloody awful  Persilot11/07/06 07:18 PM
.*Variation on a single theme  Remade/Remodeled11/07/06 00:50 AM
.*Worst Poem Ever  schizophrenic11/04/06 12:42 PM
.*Re: Worst Poem Ever  Claude12/07/06 09:44 PM
.*Just so I don't get bumped down over Xmas...  Persilot12/19/06 01:02 PM
.*Cursory Rhyme  JarethsGirl12/23/06 05:54 AM
.*Wake Up  JarethsGirl12/30/06 02:18 AM
.*As Promised  schizophrenic12/23/06 10:30 PM
.*Merry Meatmas, indeed  JarethsGirl12/24/06 02:29 AM
.*Re: Merry Meatmas, indeed  schizophrenic12/24/06 01:16 PM
.*Re: Merry Meatmas, indeed  JarethsGirl12/30/06 07:50 PM
.*Bit grim this one...  Persilot01/02/07 06:58 PM
.*I must be sleep deprived  JarethsGirl01/15/07 06:29 AM
..The saucy maid  Persilot01/02/07 07:52 PM
.*Politics  Persilot02/07/07 07:17 PM
.*Another one...  Persilot02/07/07 07:40 PM
.*Re: The saucy maid  Persilot02/02/07 12:24 PM
.*Sometimes fast is good. Sometimes not.  JarethsGirl02/02/07 12:40 PM
.*Looking for a rhyme  Sam_X02/06/07 05:02 AM
.*Bottle  JarethsGirl02/06/07 06:59 AM
.*Re: Bottle  Sam_X02/06/07 05:58 PM
.*Oh, Barnacles  JarethsGirl02/08/07 06:50 AM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Persilot02/22/07 08:57 AM
.*Throw Mama From the Pirate Ship  JarethsGirl03/01/07 02:45 AM
.*Re: Throw Mama From the Pirate Ship  Persilot03/05/07 09:04 PM
.*Le Cachot (The Dungeon)  JarethsGirl03/12/07 05:23 AM
.*Weary City  Persilot03/18/07 09:31 AM
.*Gloria  JarethsGirl03/27/07 02:23 AM
.*Streets  Persilot04/05/07 05:19 PM
.*Still Warm (For Kurt)  JarethsGirl04/06/07 09:53 PM
.*Quatrain pour Bowie  Froggy Starlust05/15/07 10:08 AM
.*Re: Quatrain pour Bowie  JarethsGirl05/15/07 03:19 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour Bowie  Froggy Starlust05/15/07 05:04 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Starlite05/15/07 09:50 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 05:33 AM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Starlite05/16/07 06:24 AM
.*>  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 03:03 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 12:05 PM
.*The Quietus  JarethsGirl05/31/07 00:41 AM
.*Re: The Quietus  Starlite05/31/07 01:44 AM
.*Drunk  Persilot08/04/07 10:21 PM
.*Summer days  Persilot08/06/07 07:41 PM
.*Can't decide if this is clever or corny  JarethsGirl09/24/07 07:30 AM
.*On the buses  Persilot11/17/07 01:36 PM
.*Re: On the buses  JarethsGirl11/17/07 01:52 PM
.*Life on Mouse?  Diamond Frog11/26/07 08:16 PM
.*Re: Life on Mouse?  JarethsGirl11/27/07 01:36 AM
.*Disneyphagia  Diamond Frog11/27/07 08:58 AM
.*Cold Light Of Day  Strawman11/28/07 05:39 PM
.*Re: Cold Light Of Day  JarethsGirl12/08/07 07:36 AM
.*A Shortcut To Meryl Streep's Bush  Strawman11/28/07 07:06 PM
.*Anyone know her agent's number?  EuropeanCanon12/05/07 09:47 AM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  SoulLoveChild12/13/07 04:55 PM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  Diamond Frog12/14/07 06:41 AM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  ghostlove12/14/07 02:14 PM
.*I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya got  Marquis12/14/07 03:24 PM
.*Re: I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya  SoulLoveChild12/14/07 11:46 PM
.*Re: I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya  Diamond Frog12/15/07 08:12 AM
.*that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  SoulLoveChild12/15/07 04:57 PM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  Diamond Frog12/16/07 07:40 AM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  SoulLoveChild12/16/07 04:50 PM
.*You can crush it but it's always here  ghostlove12/17/07 12:08 PM
.*Gadgie  Persilot02/11/08 07:19 PM
.*Immaculate  JarethsGirl03/08/08 02:13 AM
.*Dreary?  Persilot03/13/08 03:01 PM
.*Bastards  Persilot04/18/08 07:39 PM
.*The crunch  Persilot06/10/08 12:29 PM
.*Re: The crunch  JarethsGirl07/01/08 00:50 AM
.*Periphery  Strawman09/13/08 06:38 AM
.*Brian  JarethsGirl09/13/08 06:51 AM
.*Re: Brian  Persilot09/13/08 09:14 AM
.*Purple Platypus  Diamond Frog09/17/08 06:42 PM
.*shit  JarethsGirl01/17/09 02:56 PM
.*Clockwork  Persilot11/05/09 04:15 PM
.*Re: Clockwork  JarethsGirl11/12/09 02:19 AM
.*Valentine had his day  Persilot02/15/11 05:53 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  JarethsGirl02/17/11 10:47 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  Persilot03/05/11 06:25 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  Persilot03/07/11 03:24 PM
.*By my reflection  Persilot05/21/11 12:29 PM
.*Modern Living  Persilot02/02/10 04:58 PM
.*All thats left  Persilot08/04/10 07:27 PM
.*Meadowell  Persilot11/05/09 04:16 PM
.*Re: shit  Diamond Frog01/18/09 07:57 AM
.*nom nom nom  JarethsGirl01/18/09 12:28 PM
.*Re: nom nom nom  Diamond Frog01/18/09 01:20 PM
.*Re: nom nom nom  JarethsGirl01/18/09 01:59 PM
.*Re: Bastards  JarethsGirl04/19/08 00:11 AM
.*Dreams  Persilot04/10/08 02:47 PM
.*Re: Dreams  Strawman04/11/08 05:31 PM
.*Re: Dreams  Persilot04/11/08 07:35 PM
.*Re: Dreary?  Strawman03/19/08 04:48 PM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  Diamond Frog12/16/07 05:54 PM
.*Mango  Strawman11/28/07 07:37 PM
.*Re: Mango  Diamond Frog11/29/07 04:56 AM
.*Re: The Quietus  JarethsGirl05/31/07 06:31 PM
.*Re: The Quietus  Froggy Starlust05/31/07 03:59 PM
.*Re: >  Froggy Starlust05/30/07 06:37 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 06:52 PM
.*Re: >  Persilot05/30/07 05:23 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 06:12 PM
.*red hair = PW?  jareth's tights05/30/07 01:43 PM
.*Re: >  ghostlove05/26/07 04:17 PM
.*Re: >  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 05:08 PM
.*Quatrain fashion  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 08:49 AM
.*Bee  Persilot05/21/07 06:52 PM
.*Untitled  JarethsGirl05/27/07 03:07 AM
.*Féerie  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 07:15 AM
.*The danger of songs  Persilot05/26/07 05:00 PM
.*Re: The danger of songs  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 07:15 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 08:38 AM
.*Just one more reason why 1 square is never enough  JarethsGirl05/16/07 01:17 AM
.*Jigsaw man  Persilot03/05/07 09:14 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Persilot02/28/07 12:08 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Quentin02/22/07 04:03 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  schizophrenic02/22/07 06:12 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Quentin02/23/07 03:52 PM
.*Um...  schizophrenic02/23/07 04:27 PM
.*Nice cup of tea anyone?  Persilot01/06/07 10:44 AM
.*Re: The saucy maid  anisette01/02/07 08:22 PM
.*Re: As Promised  Sam_X12/24/06 00:39 AM
.*Brings tears to my eye  JarethsGirl11/05/06 02:23 PM
.*God-Awful Halloween Poem  Atonalexpress10/30/06 03:57 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/22/06 03:37 PM
.*Cover Girl  JarethsGirl10/23/06 08:55 AM
.*The cruelty of the mirror  Persilot11/02/06 06:59 PM
.*Wow  JarethsGirl11/05/06 08:35 PM
.*NOW!  anisette11/05/06 08:55 PM
.*More!  Persilot11/22/06 04:20 PM
.*On names of poems  theidiot211/23/06 04:25 AM
.*Each rung has an order  JarethsGirl11/23/06 05:19 AM
.*Alliterate me, Kate  JarethsGirl11/05/06 09:32 PM
.*Evanescence lyrics  JarethsGirl11/03/06 06:58 AM
.*The grip of Winter  Persilot11/03/06 07:25 AM
.*Selfishlessness  JarethsGirl11/03/06 05:45 AM
.*Re: Selfishlessness  Starlite11/04/06 07:01 AM
.*Re: Selfishlessness  JarethsGirl11/04/06 07:37 AM
.*Re: The cruelty of the mirror  Strawman11/02/06 07:44 PM
.*The Crawling Dark  Persilot10/26/06 04:28 PM
.*A Halloween TW poem  Persilot10/29/06 07:37 PM
.*Re: A Halloween TW poem  schizophrenic10/29/06 07:51 PM
.*The Shining Light  Atonalexpress10/28/06 02:17 AM
.*Winter is a metaphor for blonde creep, right?  RabbitFighter10/26/06 05:58 PM
.*Re: Cover Girl  th0mas10/26/06 06:40 AM
.*Re: Cover Girl  Starlite10/25/06 08:58 AM
.*Re: Cover Girl  Strawman10/25/06 03:22 PM
.*Sunday  Persilot10/15/06 03:12 PM
.*Re: Sunday  diamondogz7410/15/06 03:36 PM
.*Empty shores  Persilot10/18/06 04:18 PM
.*Re: Empty shores  JarethsGirl10/23/06 08:34 AM
.*In The Void  Atonalexpress10/19/06 02:35 AM
.*Unrequited love  Persilot10/11/06 06:18 PM
.*Re: Unrequited love  Froggy Starlust10/11/06 06:26 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/08/06 06:08 AM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Froggy Starlust10/09/06 07:11 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Froggy Starlust10/08/06 04:18 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/09/06 05:02 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/09/06 06:54 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Starlite10/05/06 05:00 AM
.*Words  Persilot09/30/06 09:41 AM
.*Re: Words  Sam_X09/30/06 10:12 AM
.*The curse  Persilot09/30/06 10:11 AM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Sam_X09/24/06 02:44 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  elvenlass09/24/06 05:48 PM
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