Teenage Wildlife

IMPORTANT: Use your registry nickname as your username when logging in to Conversation Piece!


Free for All
   >> I Was An Artiste
Thread views: 87929 Flat Mode*

JarethsGirl
(stardust savant)
03/12/07 05:23 AM
Le Cachot (The Dungeon) [re: Persilot]  

I hope this doesn't sound like anything but a compliment, but your writing seems to be improving so much, Percy. I'm very impressed. Not that I'm the one to impress around here, but you get what I mean...

Anyway, here's something that's incredibly dark and creepy. And, I would hope so, as my main inspiration for writing this (though there were many) was a carnival-type dark ride we used to have at our local amusement park, until it got torn down about ten years ago. Here's some info on it, if anyone cares. (This is the second page of info because it addresses the incarnation of the ride that I actually remember, but the first page is pretty interesting, too.)

This poem is basically an eerily-executed warning about fearing time and hanging onto the past so much that you fail to live in the moment. Also, it's about the "price" of the overcompensation - living with abandon, being thoughtless, because one feels they have no higher power to answer to and that life is just one big joyride.

(Don't mind the gratuitous elipses. I did that because TW doesn't seem to recognize indentations.)



I heard time chattering inside my closet
.............Tittering
At the expense of my own stunted laughter
.............Stunned
The runt amongst the litter
Of dry bones
That shriek, like flutes
Like hollow bamboo shoots
They still chime in
The illusion
Of oxygen
The thought that made me pant with panic
.............Hah, hah, hah

Time was gnawing on my toys and shrunken gowns
At once, I thought,
Because, they taste of me
.............Tick, tick, tick
And, soon he'll have a thirst for me
That can't be satiated
In a scent
He'll crave and come for my own flesh
He'll lap the salt from my own skin
As if
.............Lovingness
Had overcome him


So, I upheld the pretense;

The living dead can dance
I'm free as free can be
Spinning in the dark
With me and me


I did not notice
How I waltzed
.............Creak, creak, creak
Only but a whisper hovering over the parquet
Feeling cold as clay
To the bottom of my soles
With my toes
Pressed so crisply into his
He dipped me into the abyss
Into dismay
Into decay
Where all is nude
Within the design
Of his dark decrepitude

And, there I sensed his silhouette
Which never left
It mastered every movement
Every languid motion
Of my porcelain
Marionette;
Clamoring and cackling

Time is cachinating
In his cold and calculating
Machination
Convulsing
In repulsion
The everlasting echo
Of my maturation
Rendered hopeless
By means of its late achievement

.............The tragic fault in my living bereavement

The laughter in the dark
Was me
For, when I breathed
My seething fears
Into the night
They seized me tight
Strangling me inside the grasping fingers of my ribs;
I could not sense his delicate, skeletal grip
Which rested on my hip,
Until I felt his pointed finger pressed
Into my lips

I am his twin
I have no choice, now
But, to grin, for
Time is grinning
As I'm spinning
Into Le Cachot
With nowhere left to go

.............Click, click, click



I have a couple of fag women I go hunting with. - Altoid


 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Persilot09/24/06 11:34 AM
.*Such a rush  JarethsGirl11/26/06 12:08 PM
.*Game. Flood. Atlas.  theidiot211/30/06 05:04 AM
.*The sweetest pain  Persilot11/30/06 02:23 PM
.*Sleepers  theidiot211/28/06 11:28 AM
.*How It Feels  JarethsGirl12/04/06 06:37 AM
.*The Passing  theidiot212/05/06 05:14 AM
.*No Title  JarethsGirl12/07/06 06:39 AM
.*Re: Sleepers  Persilot11/28/06 02:13 PM
.*As yet unpublished shite  Persilot11/19/06 06:57 PM
.*Drift  Persilot11/19/06 07:20 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Strawman11/11/06 05:49 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Sam_X11/12/06 07:13 PM
.*bloody awful  ghostlove11/07/06 01:33 AM
.*Re: bloody awful  Persilot11/07/06 07:18 PM
.*Variation on a single theme  Remade/Remodeled11/07/06 00:50 AM
.*Worst Poem Ever  schizophrenic11/04/06 12:42 PM
.*Re: Worst Poem Ever  Claude12/07/06 09:44 PM
.*Just so I don't get bumped down over Xmas...  Persilot12/19/06 01:02 PM
.*Cursory Rhyme  JarethsGirl12/23/06 05:54 AM
.*Wake Up  JarethsGirl12/30/06 02:18 AM
.*As Promised  schizophrenic12/23/06 10:30 PM
.*Merry Meatmas, indeed  JarethsGirl12/24/06 02:29 AM
.*Re: Merry Meatmas, indeed  schizophrenic12/24/06 01:16 PM
.*Re: Merry Meatmas, indeed  JarethsGirl12/30/06 07:50 PM
.*Bit grim this one...  Persilot01/02/07 06:58 PM
.*I must be sleep deprived  JarethsGirl01/15/07 06:29 AM
.*The saucy maid  Persilot01/02/07 07:52 PM
.*Politics  Persilot02/07/07 07:17 PM
.*Another one...  Persilot02/07/07 07:40 PM
.*Re: The saucy maid  Persilot02/02/07 12:24 PM
.*Sometimes fast is good. Sometimes not.  JarethsGirl02/02/07 12:40 PM
.*Looking for a rhyme  Sam_X02/06/07 05:02 AM
.*Bottle  JarethsGirl02/06/07 06:59 AM
.*Re: Bottle  Sam_X02/06/07 05:58 PM
.*Oh, Barnacles  JarethsGirl02/08/07 06:50 AM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Persilot02/22/07 08:57 AM
.*Throw Mama From the Pirate Ship  JarethsGirl03/01/07 02:45 AM
.*Re: Throw Mama From the Pirate Ship  Persilot03/05/07 09:04 PM
..Le Cachot (The Dungeon)  JarethsGirl03/12/07 05:23 AM
.*Weary City  Persilot03/18/07 09:31 AM
.*Gloria  JarethsGirl03/27/07 02:23 AM
.*Streets  Persilot04/05/07 05:19 PM
.*Still Warm (For Kurt)  JarethsGirl04/06/07 09:53 PM
.*Quatrain pour Bowie  Froggy Starlust05/15/07 10:08 AM
.*Re: Quatrain pour Bowie  JarethsGirl05/15/07 03:19 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour Bowie  Froggy Starlust05/15/07 05:04 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Starlite05/15/07 09:50 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 05:33 AM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Starlite05/16/07 06:24 AM
.*>  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 03:03 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 12:05 PM
.*The Quietus  JarethsGirl05/31/07 00:41 AM
.*Re: The Quietus  Starlite05/31/07 01:44 AM
.*Drunk  Persilot08/04/07 10:21 PM
.*Summer days  Persilot08/06/07 07:41 PM
.*Can't decide if this is clever or corny  JarethsGirl09/24/07 07:30 AM
.*On the buses  Persilot11/17/07 01:36 PM
.*Re: On the buses  JarethsGirl11/17/07 01:52 PM
.*Life on Mouse?  Diamond Frog11/26/07 08:16 PM
.*Re: Life on Mouse?  JarethsGirl11/27/07 01:36 AM
.*Disneyphagia  Diamond Frog11/27/07 08:58 AM
.*Cold Light Of Day  Strawman11/28/07 05:39 PM
.*Re: Cold Light Of Day  JarethsGirl12/08/07 07:36 AM
.*A Shortcut To Meryl Streep's Bush  Strawman11/28/07 07:06 PM
.*Anyone know her agent's number?  EuropeanCanon12/05/07 09:47 AM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  SoulLoveChild12/13/07 04:55 PM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  Diamond Frog12/14/07 06:41 AM
.*Re: Anyone know her agent's number?  ghostlove12/14/07 02:14 PM
.*I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya got  Marquis12/14/07 03:24 PM
.*Re: I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya  SoulLoveChild12/14/07 11:46 PM
.*Re: I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever $ ya  Diamond Frog12/15/07 08:12 AM
.*that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  SoulLoveChild12/15/07 04:57 PM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  Diamond Frog12/16/07 07:40 AM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  SoulLoveChild12/16/07 04:50 PM
.*You can crush it but it's always here  ghostlove12/17/07 12:08 PM
.*Gadgie  Persilot02/11/08 07:19 PM
.*Immaculate  JarethsGirl03/08/08 02:13 AM
.*Dreary?  Persilot03/13/08 03:01 PM
.*Bastards  Persilot04/18/08 07:39 PM
.*The crunch  Persilot06/10/08 12:29 PM
.*Re: The crunch  JarethsGirl07/01/08 00:50 AM
.*Periphery  Strawman09/13/08 06:38 AM
.*Brian  JarethsGirl09/13/08 06:51 AM
.*Re: Brian  Persilot09/13/08 09:14 AM
.*Purple Platypus  Diamond Frog09/17/08 06:42 PM
.*shit  JarethsGirl01/17/09 02:56 PM
.*Clockwork  Persilot11/05/09 04:15 PM
.*Re: Clockwork  JarethsGirl11/12/09 02:19 AM
.*Valentine had his day  Persilot02/15/11 05:53 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  JarethsGirl02/17/11 10:47 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  Persilot03/05/11 06:25 PM
.*Re: Valentine had his day  Persilot03/07/11 03:24 PM
.*By my reflection  Persilot05/21/11 12:29 PM
.*Modern Living  Persilot02/02/10 04:58 PM
.*All thats left  Persilot08/04/10 07:27 PM
.*Meadowell  Persilot11/05/09 04:16 PM
.*Re: shit  Diamond Frog01/18/09 07:57 AM
.*nom nom nom  JarethsGirl01/18/09 12:28 PM
.*Re: nom nom nom  Diamond Frog01/18/09 01:20 PM
.*Re: nom nom nom  JarethsGirl01/18/09 01:59 PM
.*Re: Bastards  JarethsGirl04/19/08 00:11 AM
.*Dreams  Persilot04/10/08 02:47 PM
.*Re: Dreams  Strawman04/11/08 05:31 PM
.*Re: Dreams  Persilot04/11/08 07:35 PM
.*Re: Dreary?  Strawman03/19/08 04:48 PM
.*Re: that bloody V and G keyboard mixup....  Diamond Frog12/16/07 05:54 PM
.*Mango  Strawman11/28/07 07:37 PM
.*Re: Mango  Diamond Frog11/29/07 04:56 AM
.*Re: The Quietus  JarethsGirl05/31/07 06:31 PM
.*Re: The Quietus  Froggy Starlust05/31/07 03:59 PM
.*Re: >  Froggy Starlust05/30/07 06:37 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 06:52 PM
.*Re: >  Persilot05/30/07 05:23 PM
.*Re: >  Starlite05/30/07 06:12 PM
.*red hair = PW?  jareth's tights05/30/07 01:43 PM
.*Re: >  ghostlove05/26/07 04:17 PM
.*Re: >  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 05:08 PM
.*Quatrain fashion  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 08:49 AM
.*Bee  Persilot05/21/07 06:52 PM
.*Untitled  JarethsGirl05/27/07 03:07 AM
.*Féerie  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 07:15 AM
.*The danger of songs  Persilot05/26/07 05:00 PM
.*Re: The danger of songs  Froggy Starlust05/26/07 07:15 PM
.*Re: Quatrain pour David Sylvian  Froggy Starlust05/16/07 08:38 AM
.*Just one more reason why 1 square is never enough  JarethsGirl05/16/07 01:17 AM
.*Jigsaw man  Persilot03/05/07 09:14 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Persilot02/28/07 12:08 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Quentin02/22/07 04:03 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  schizophrenic02/22/07 06:12 PM
.*Re: Oh, Barnacles  Quentin02/23/07 03:52 PM
.*Um...  schizophrenic02/23/07 04:27 PM
.*Nice cup of tea anyone?  Persilot01/06/07 10:44 AM
.*Re: The saucy maid  anisette01/02/07 08:22 PM
.*Re: As Promised  Sam_X12/24/06 00:39 AM
.*Brings tears to my eye  JarethsGirl11/05/06 02:23 PM
.*God-Awful Halloween Poem  Atonalexpress10/30/06 03:57 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/22/06 03:37 PM
.*Cover Girl  JarethsGirl10/23/06 08:55 AM
.*The cruelty of the mirror  Persilot11/02/06 06:59 PM
.*Wow  JarethsGirl11/05/06 08:35 PM
.*NOW!  anisette11/05/06 08:55 PM
.*More!  Persilot11/22/06 04:20 PM
.*On names of poems  theidiot211/23/06 04:25 AM
.*Each rung has an order  JarethsGirl11/23/06 05:19 AM
.*Alliterate me, Kate  JarethsGirl11/05/06 09:32 PM
.*Evanescence lyrics  JarethsGirl11/03/06 06:58 AM
.*The grip of Winter  Persilot11/03/06 07:25 AM
.*Selfishlessness  JarethsGirl11/03/06 05:45 AM
.*Re: Selfishlessness  Starlite11/04/06 07:01 AM
.*Re: Selfishlessness  JarethsGirl11/04/06 07:37 AM
.*Re: The cruelty of the mirror  Strawman11/02/06 07:44 PM
.*The Crawling Dark  Persilot10/26/06 04:28 PM
.*A Halloween TW poem  Persilot10/29/06 07:37 PM
.*Re: A Halloween TW poem  schizophrenic10/29/06 07:51 PM
.*The Shining Light  Atonalexpress10/28/06 02:17 AM
.*Winter is a metaphor for blonde creep, right?  RabbitFighter10/26/06 05:58 PM
.*Re: Cover Girl  th0mas10/26/06 06:40 AM
.*Re: Cover Girl  Starlite10/25/06 08:58 AM
.*Re: Cover Girl  Strawman10/25/06 03:22 PM
.*Sunday  Persilot10/15/06 03:12 PM
.*Re: Sunday  diamondogz7410/15/06 03:36 PM
.*Empty shores  Persilot10/18/06 04:18 PM
.*Re: Empty shores  JarethsGirl10/23/06 08:34 AM
.*In The Void  Atonalexpress10/19/06 02:35 AM
.*Unrequited love  Persilot10/11/06 06:18 PM
.*Re: Unrequited love  Froggy Starlust10/11/06 06:26 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/08/06 06:08 AM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Froggy Starlust10/09/06 07:11 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Froggy Starlust10/08/06 04:18 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/09/06 05:02 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Persilot10/09/06 06:54 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry  Starlite10/05/06 05:00 AM
.*Words  Persilot09/30/06 09:41 AM
.*Re: Words  Sam_X09/30/06 10:12 AM
.*The curse  Persilot09/30/06 10:11 AM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  Sam_X09/24/06 02:44 PM
.*Re: Didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poe  elvenlass09/24/06 05:48 PM
Jump to

Teenage Wildlife Davie Bowie | Email Us! Forums powered by WWWThreads v5.1.5perl

Teenage Wildlife Home Page Bowie's music Info on Bowie Other Media Have your say! Search the Site Help me!


Toolbar (Interact)

Etete Systems