In reply to:

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A shy smile flitted over Mika's lips and softened into his eyes.

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I agree with Froggy about the duchess' diamonds part, but this line is fantastic, and the rest of the imagery is well done.


I can't decide if this poem is crap or not, yet. It needs some work still, but it motivates me when I post my stuff here. Maybe because I don't mind if my stuff sucks when no one else has to read it.




He gouges out a portrait in his mind;
A rounded arrowhead,
Ressurrected from the red clay flesh,
Made blunt by learned indifference

Foreboding form in window frame
His chugging breath contends against grey sky
Pulsing dappled fingerprints into his
Deep-set eyes

Unseen,
He stalks the rumoured silhouettes
Against a dull, nickel horizon
They ne'er desist
Buffalo relics, with
Their tongueless heads in mist

He swivels at the door in silence;
Offers the rough translation of
A smile
The void like antiquated, rust-red pattern;
Unintended space in tile
Between the bare, buffed slabs of white linoleum;
Shiny-smelling of petroleum jelly

The holy drum inside his throat drowns soft
To dulcet quietude
For now, laying to rest the lonesome quest;
That which he can't emote to me or you

Flush to the surface
Of a cold, archaic coin
Austerity condemns his soul
Handled so much, it's come to be
Incomprehensible

"we went to pizza hut after school and lived the rockstar life for the first time that day." - 13athroom