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Kristin Machina
(electric tomato)
05/05/01 01:44 AM
Splitting Headache (kept)  

A fictional tale hypothesizing why it's so darn hard for Bowie to quit smoking....

***************************************************************************
Two cigarettes. That's all he had this day was two cigarettes--one in the morning, and one at night. David sits at his kitchen table--fidgity, with a pounding headache. He glances at the microwave clock--2:30 AM. He's usually in bed by 10 PM. His wife and daughter are fast asleep--he would hate to wake up either needlessly. He swishes down the rest of his glass of water, as it chases down the two aspirins he just took.

He is due to be at the set of a new video he's shooting for "Toy". His record company INSISTED, he growls to himself.

David was determined to kick his habit. But kicking the butts seems almost as bad as smoking. Why is it so hard to stop?

Another headache attack--this one seemed worse than before. Where is this coming from, he thinks as he lays his head on the table...
***************************************************************************
Within Bowie's unconscious mind, where not even he knows what's going on...

"THUNDER! LIGHTNING!" BOOOOOM!

The Thin White Duke was in a foul mood. He always in a foul mood, but this time, he was getting to be dangerously violent!
The Duke stood on the balcony of a large castle in the middle of a small town called Suffragette City. He was conjuring up the biggest tempest he had ever cast!

"WHERE'S MY SMOKE!!???" The Duke bellows.

"Shaddup out there..." a cockney voice shouts

"We're trying to sleep..." another younger voice shouts.

"NOBODY rests until I get my desired amount of nicotine!" The Duke screams. KRAKA-BOOOOOM!

Elsewhere, out on Earthling's Plains....

"MEOW! Make it stop!" Hunky Dory, a sphinx in Egyptian garb, cowers up in a tree.

"Dory, get down from there!" Halloween Jack, a half-dog peoploid with a red mullet and eye-patch, growls up at the captive kitty.

"It's yurr fault I'm up her-urr," Dory mews. "You chased me up her-urr."

Then, a bolt of lightning inadvertently strikes the tree, sending Dory tumbling down: "MEEEEOOOOW!" Lucky for him, his cat-like reflexes let him land on his feet.

"You OK?" Jack asked.

"I....I think so, mew!" Dory shakes and licks his paws. Then they lock eyes. Jack starts to growl. Dory's back arches. And the chase continues....

Back at the castle....

Knock, Knock!

"Go away!" The Duke warns, but the intruder enters anyway.

Screamin' Lord Byron, a silver-skinned man with a turban, a sleeping mask, genie pants and an oversized "Frankie Says Relax" T-shirt saunters in.

"Pardon me, your Thin White Highness," Byron yawns with a snobbish tone, "but you ARE making a bit of a racket, and I DO need my beauty sleep."

"Oh." The Duke does not face Byron, and keeps his blank stare out over the city. "You want to sleep, do you?"

"And Richocet wants to sleep, and Zane and Earthling--and Berlin says you're disturbing his work. Mr. Touchshriek thinks we're in an air raid..."

"I'll put you ALL to sleep!" The Duke spins around in a snap, startling Byron. The Duke glares at him with his pale, bony, stone-cold face. "Would you like to join Ziggy--in his never-ending slumber?" The Duke lifts his hand, and two darts materialize. He stalks Byron, as the hapless rock star back away toward the door.
"I've dealt with the insult of having my cocaine disappear," the Duke fumes, "Now, if I don't get my desired amount of cigarettes, we will all be sleeping for a long, long time! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!??"

The Duke takes aim, as a terrifyed and confused Byron runs through the door. The door slams the millisecond two darts plant themselves into the oak.

Byron breathes heavily, wearily walking home, "He's gone mad...God help us all..."

To be continued...

Don't understand me, just love me

Edited by Sysiyo on 10/08/04 10:32 AM (server time).




 
Entire thread
Subject  Posted byPosted on
*Splitting Headache (kept)  Kristin Machina05/05/01 01:44 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Part II  Kristin Machina05/06/01 02:01 AM
.* Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV  Kristin Machina05/07/01 02:37 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Coffee and TV  Starbuck05/07/01 11:52 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Transmittion  Kristin Machina05/08/01 00:28 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Magical Beings  Kristin Machina05/10/01 02:20 AM
.*Slaughter in the Air  Kristin Machina05/14/01 01:29 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Incurably Ill  Kristin Machina05/12/01 02:42 AM
.*Splitting Headache--No Control  Kristin Machina05/15/01 03:16 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve  Kristin Machina05/16/01 03:22 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Get Me Out of Here!  Kristin Machina05/22/01 03:51 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Aladdin Sane  Kristin Machina05/20/01 10:56 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble  Kristin Machina05/29/01 06:56 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  Kristin Machina06/01/01 02:20 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Night Flight  Kristin Machina06/06/01 02:01 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor!  Kristin Machina06/12/01 00:58 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets!  Kristin Machina06/20/01 02:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Zeroed In  Kristin Machina06/22/01 01:46 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Zeroed In  SugarPlumFairy06/27/01 03:54 AM
.*A Note to My Readers  Kristin Machina06/27/01 03:41 PM
.*hello?  Starbuck08/05/01 01:12 AM
.*Re: hello?  Echoes Of A Fairy08/06/01 09:41 AM
.*Re: hello?  Starbuck08/06/01 03:06 PM
.*Re: hello?  decibel08/06/01 07:00 PM
.*MY MY!  Kristin Machina08/06/01 07:06 PM
.*Re: MY MY!  Starbuck08/06/01 09:04 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Morning Becomes Aladdin  Kristin Machina06/27/01 02:37 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Wake Up, You Sleepy Head...  Kristin Machina08/09/01 04:29 PM
.*Splitting Headache--David Who?  Kristin Machina08/16/01 01:50 AM
.*Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  Kristin Machina08/30/01 00:47 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts  Kristin Machina09/14/01 08:27 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Lunch Break  Kristin Machina09/27/01 11:33 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II  Kristin Machina09/28/01 03:21 PM
.*That Crazy Balance of My Mind  Kristin Machina10/23/01 04:06 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings  Kristin Machina10/24/01 03:31 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Underground  Kristin Machina11/16/01 05:01 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Hunger  Kristin Machina11/21/01 01:32 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Busted!  Kristin Machina12/18/01 08:54 AM
.*Splitting Headache--All the Madmen  Kristin Machina01/25/02 02:15 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  Kristin Machina01/26/02 05:52 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  Kristin Machina08/14/02 05:41 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast  Kristin Machina11/09/02 07:03 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I  Kristin Machina11/11/02 04:36 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Kristin Machina03/11/03 03:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b)  Kristin Machina03/12/03 10:53 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II(b)  dweny03/16/03 04:18 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion  Kristin Machina03/14/03 08:00 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  Kristin Machina03/14/03 08:52 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III  Kristin Machina07/22/03 01:02 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion III  revidescent07/22/03 06:39 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  Kristin Machina07/22/03 02:11 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  Kristin Machina07/30/03 09:45 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Blackout  Kristin Machina08/15/03 04:39 PM
.*Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  Kristin Machina08/29/03 01:37 AM
.*Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II  Kristin Machina09/23/03 10:07 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  Kristin Machina10/05/03 11:00 PM
.*Splitting Headache--Back to Normal?  Kristin Machina11/08/03 02:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Finale!  Kristin Machina11/12/03 02:03 AM
.*Before this goes...  Kristin Machina12/30/03 00:20 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/02/04 01:34 PM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ThomasJNewton601/02/04 04:50 PM
.*Re: Before this goes...  Kristin Machina01/03/04 09:55 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/04/04 01:43 AM
.*The Spark  Kristin Machina01/05/04 01:14 AM
.*Re: The Spark  ThomasJNewton604/06/04 01:05 PM
.*Re: The Spark  Kristin Machina04/06/04 02:48 AM
.*Re: Before this goes...  ziggysgrl01/02/04 08:36 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  prrrrr10/27/03 03:52 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  White_Owl10/08/03 02:58 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  prrrrr10/07/03 11:46 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Ziggy Stardust  revidescent10/08/03 00:42 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation II  ThomasJNewton609/25/03 09:26 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  revidescent09/01/03 00:07 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Final Confrontation part I  ThomasJNewton608/29/03 05:00 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Blackout  ThomasJNewton608/15/03 06:09 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  ThomasJNewton608/09/03 06:18 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  revidescent07/30/03 05:50 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion V  ThomasJNewton607/30/03 01:07 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  ThomasJNewton607/25/03 01:47 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion IV  Starbuck07/22/03 12:37 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  revidescent03/29/03 00:50 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  SugarPlumFairy04/04/03 07:35 PM
.*Much appreciated!  Kristin Machina04/07/03 06:51 PM
.*Re: Much appreciated!  dweny04/14/03 02:06 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  abe1182503/18/03 10:17 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Mind-Warp Pavillion II  Starbuck03/15/03 09:35 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Starbuck03/11/03 06:16 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  Paddy-chan03/11/03 07:41 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part II  SugarPlumFairy03/11/03 07:45 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Rescue Part I  Starbuck11/20/02 08:48 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Beauty and the Beast  Mousey11/10/02 01:32 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  xgirl8108/14/02 12:49 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  decibel08/14/02 05:54 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Gang's All Here  abe1182508/14/02 09:52 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  abe1182502/18/02 12:09 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Kidnapped!  abe1182503/08/02 01:00 PM
.*Coming soon...  Kristin Machina03/12/02 10:29 PM
.*Re: Coming soon...  abe1182503/13/02 07:04 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Busted!  decibel12/26/01 03:47 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Busted!  abe1182512/21/01 01:26 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Fallen Wings  abe1182510/25/01 08:07 PM
.*Re: That Crazy Balance of My Mind  Starbuck10/24/01 00:49 AM
.*The Family Tree  Kristin Machina10/24/01 01:09 AM
.*Re: The Family Tree  Starbuck10/24/01 10:26 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Lunch Break Part II  abe1182510/01/01 12:18 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Truth Hurts  artist_in_a_tunnel09/15/01 09:48 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  Starbuck08/31/01 01:42 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--I'll Make You a Deal  sparkle08/30/01 02:29 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me Off the Streets!  Starbuck06/21/01 01:20 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Get Me to a Doctor!  Starbuck06/15/01 01:17 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Damage Control  Kristin Machina06/13/01 11:48 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  Starbuck06/02/01 02:25 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--The Music Outside  SugarPlumFairy06/04/01 07:16 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Castle Rumble  SugarPlumFairy05/30/01 08:25 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Steely Resolve  SugarPlumFairy05/16/01 08:57 AM
.*Oh, my.  Brainfreezy05/07/01 04:19 AM
.*Splitting Headache--Splitting Hairs  Kristin Machina05/07/01 00:58 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache--Part II  Starbuck05/07/01 00:53 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  Atonalexpress05/06/01 00:59 AM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  marlepluto05/05/01 08:47 PM
.*Re: Splitting Headache  Starbuck05/05/01 08:01 PM
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