"I will not, nor ever, tour Australia."

That would earn a skin pinch and a shackles to each foot and be forced to preform.

"Your a shitty fan, look, you've only got 15 CD's and their all fake copies!"

Probably just a slap in the face.

"Your friends are laughing behind back... kill them!"

If my friends were indeed laughing behind my back about my love for Bowie music, I would indeed kill them. *thanks to Weird Al Yankovic for the lyrics*

W_O

A Typical Kleptomaniac’s Anonymous Icebreaker “I’m Laura, I’m fourteen and I’m a, oh, sorry, this is yours…”