In reply to:
A Jesus biography, though? What kind of things could be discussed in there, other than whether or not Jesus existed
Well, whether or not he was gay, those kinds of things. He wasn't though, for the record. But he cared about how he looked, apparently (according to the book) so I guess that makes him a little gay-ish, but, you know.
In reply to:
Well, eclectic enough not to have a wardrobe full of Iggy T-shirts anyway.
Well, I also have a Public Enemy t-shirt, a Bob Marley t-shirt and... a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. :) Top that if you can! The only way you could top that is to say you have a Robbie Williams t-shirt. Come on, say it!
In reply to:
Okay, I’ve moved as seamlessly as I possibly could through the various topics, but we need to back peddle to my brief career as an astronaut. I wish I could say that I volunteered myself to be sent into space, but it was actually part of my parents’ wishes. I had a fairly happy though impoverished childhood, and it was only because my dad had connections with high up places – a brother’s auntie’s dog’s friend’s cousin’s owner, in fact – who promised to send me into space and keep my best interests at heart. My mother jumped at the chance and arranged for me to be posted to NASA straightaway, yet I still have the remaining impression that I was being used as a human guinea pig of some sort. . .
As you may have gathered by now, it was a fairly routine mission, as space mission go; just a test flight in a new shuttle which had an unprecedented use of a uranium power source, the kind of thing which sadly doesn’t make international news. The guy who was in charge of coordinating the mission – the brother’s auntie’s dog’s guy – really only wanted a child on-board as something flashy that he could write on his CV. I think he used me as a means of claiming that he had sent the first child into space; a development which, as you can imagine, he tipped as heralding a new era of the space age where children could become self-sufficient in space and presumably seek out inhabitable planets and repopulate them of their own accord. I was given a fairly minimal training programme, even though most of the controls on the shuttle were operated from a terrestrial base, but I kinda twigged what was going on with the coordinator’s selfish motives to exploit my position, and resolved to be difficult and obstinate once I was finally blasted into space.
Of course, I was young and fearless, so being sent into space was no big deal, just something that beat the shit out of a daytrip to the zoo. As soon as lift-off was successful, I immediately carried out my revenge on ground control by smearing excrement over the CCTV cameras (something for which I was severely reprimanded on my return to Earth), but once the main objectives of the mission were completed I was given a free rein for a brief spell. So I completed a few 360 degree spins and looped-the-loop. I was only six years old, after all.
A couple questions.
1. What's a CV?
2. Have you suffered any side-effects? What, do you think, would your life have been like had you not had this horrifying experience at the tender age of 6?
3. Do you feel like you are "above" normal people, because of what you've been through?
4. What's a CCTV camera?
5. You shouldn't ever read my old posts.
If this is the music of the future...let me die now.