The contents of Retardvol's hardrive;
- "English for Dummies" Tm (Everything you ever needed to know about the English Language but were afraid to ask)
- The complete works of Rudyard Kipling in MP4 format.
- A Picture of his own arse hilariously taken on a photocopier and named arse_001
- His plans for getting off the dole and securing a career as an inflatable Stalin sex doll manufacturer.
- 1 picture of American Flag being burned
- 1 picture of Bald Baby
- 1 picture of Stalin and Lenin
- 1 picture of his own arse that he already owns but named arse_002
- A shopping list in notepad format; 1 packet of Bombay Mix, 1 packet of Haribo, 5 tins of Birds custard and 1 packet of Oxo cubes.
- A love letter composed to Tina Turner in which he begs her to fulfil his private sexual fantasy of dressing up like Aunty Entity from Mad Max 3 and singing simply the best whilst suspended on special effects wires.
- A folder entitled "WankFodder" with three pictures of DD74 in it on holiday with his shirt open and striking a manly pose.
"We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now."