The first blow job I gave was at the beginning of the summer following 6th grade during a very surprising game of truth or dare with my best friend.

How we went from drawing cartoons depicting Sonny Bono dieing in lots of interesting ways, (the image of him parachuting into a mine field springs to my recollection) to that, I'll never know.

I do remember briefly holding it in my mouth like a thermometer - not moving my head at all. He thought it was because I didn't know what to do, but really, I was just confused about the stipulations of the dare.

He never came. He might have been too young, I'm not sure.

We hung out one time after that and it was dreadfully awkward, then he avoided me for the rest of the summer.

The Queen promised to ream us with twenty inch cattle prods, and I'm still waiting!