I am dating a man who is very nice, very sweet, affectionate, says he sees me in his future, that I make him want to be a better man, and that I am the best thing that has happened to him *he said this last bit while we were both kind of drunk*
Thing is, he is wonderful, has an adorable smile, and is constantly touching my shoulders, smelling my hair, kissing my forehead, ex. The same drunk night I asked him why he doesn't love me, and he said he does. I replied that no he doesn't, what was wrong with me? He sighed and said nothing was wrong with me, it was him, and said he does care for me, but he used the word love before. I think he ment before in previous a relationship. He has said he doesn't know how he feels about me, he cares for me, and keeps saying things about the future, like "when we are through school, you can have anything want" While I saw an ad for a baby grand piano and remarked on the price.
I already told him I love him, I do.
So, why is it, today, when he was online on myspace and didnt message me or log into yahoo, I get worried? If I do not hear from him one day, I worry? I worry because during this summer we will both be working, he will more than likely only have sundays off. We have plans to go to a concert in July. But the next two years after this, he will be at a differnt college about 1 and 1/2 hours away. I feel he would not cheat on me.
This is because his ex faince cheated on him with one of his best freinds, charged up his credit cards, and stole 500$. I am the first girl he has slept with and called a girlfreind in almost 4 years. It hurt him pretty badly. It makes me feel kind of special that I am the first girl in so long that he can even have feelings for. His best freind of years has said this is the happiest he has ever seen him, that it had been so long since he had dated anyone, and his family seems to accept me very well.
I wonder why I can't just date him, hope for the best, and enjoy everything. I tell myself to do this with some success, but truth is, I worry so easy anyway, and want this one to work out more than anything I have ever wanted.
Is there anything I can do to make myself mellow out? WHY do I overanalyze everything?
"I suppose if I were a lot older--like 40 or 50--I'd be a wonderful sugar daddy to some little queen down in Kensington. I'd have a houseboy named Richard to order around."DB, 1976