I prefer to be as unattractive as possible on Halloween in protest of this trend.

My original plan this year was to go as Aileen Wuornos, but I had trouble locating a T-shirt with wolves on it, and it was imperative to me that I have that for my Lee costume.. so I scrapped it. Also, my friend is having a zombie-themed party, and my worry was I'd be an outcast, and that no one would be able to figure out who I was attempting to be, so I'd end up looking like some homeless bull dyke who crashed the party for free PBR's. (Also, I recognized a very butchy trend forming in my choice of costumes the past few years - biker, strap-on wearing dominatrix...) My gay friend Steve was supposed to be my Selby, and we were going to couples skate into the party to "Don't Stop Believing," but he's gay and he's probably going to find a banana hammock lactating Jack Skellington costume at the Halloween Adventure store.

Instead I was a zombie fortune teller, and I made my face look gnarly with latex and toilet paper on Saturday. For the party this weekend, I'm gonna try my hand at this.

"The darkest of these objects is fecal excrement, which Sade advocates that we consume with relish, (no pun intended.)" - Douglas B. Lynott