Weee! I love the Death Poll! I'm mostly playing it safe here but I threw in a few wild cards.


1. Kirk Douglas (dies from shock of not being dead yet)
2. Dr. Kevorkian (slips gently in assisted living facility)
3. Jack Lalanne (slips gently on a spilt smoothie)
4. Dennis Miller (crushed by two tons of irony)
5. Gary Busey (eats a live horse and comes down with amoebic dysentery)
6. Pat Robertson (church collapses in on him, also paralyzing Elizabeth Hasselbeck)
7. Gloria Stuart (falls awkwardly on a lobster claw on Carnival Cruise ship)
8. Mickey Rooney (veers off cliff trying to pantomime poor driving while doing an offensive caricature)
9. Michael Jackson (sleep apnea)
10. John McCain (disappointment)

In 1986 I was hospitalized for approaching perfection