Let's make it truly interesting:
The chimp has a miniature tape player on a neckace that plays a loop wherein an authoritative voice commands: BAD DOG! NO! SIT! I SAID, SIT!!!!
The Pit Bull has a modified grenade launcher strapped to his back that shoots a banana 20 feet into the air every five seconds.
Now, who wins?
Kid, you've paid your dues...dues and dues. ~J. Tweedy