For some time I've been reselling unwanted CDs and DVDs, including some rarities, which must have brought me around £350-400 in the Christmas rush. Now, however, I'm left with the dregs that I intend to burn for winter fuel.

Being economical, I intend to use the burning to inhale as many of the phthalate vapours as possible. My mother always told me to keep my indulgences small under financial constraints, and at any rate it's probably a step up from huffing decades-old bottles of Liquid Paper I've been stuck with since, well, the toluene ban came in, I guess.

Once burnt, I shall use the CD ashes to re-paint the front door a stylish charcoal black. Cos black absorbs heat, thus saving on the heating, again. Just a li'l tip, there.