Relax will you? Ok, good. I've been waiting for this for many years. I've been formulating plans. I have a list. Right at this very moment there is an oscilloscope in my van.

Now. I'm sure you are all very worried about this messageboard and it's problems. Many of you are running around and starting to panic. DON'T PANIC! There is nothing to worry about. As long as you stay calm. At this very moment there is a swarm of deadly African Killer Bees on their way. And they are more clever than you think. Unless you think that they are very clever. Then they are exactly as clever as you think. If you think that they have the intellect of a genius they may be less clever than you think.

I'm sure those who are reading this who have tried to register here have found it very difficult to do so. I know I did. It took me three. Bloody. Hours! I have an advanced degree from Cambridge! How else can you explain this? If not for the bees!? I'm very bloody sure that if you will all just let me take over command of this messageboard and do things my way something will happen. I'm not sure exactly what to do. But I'm sure of one thing. When it comes to deadly killer bees. I'm not talking about pizzas!

Of all the things I thought might destroy this messageboard, I never thought it would be the bees. The bees have always been our friends. But one thing is for sure. If we don't do something soon. Something will happen. And I'm not talking about pizzas!

Does anybody have any suggestions?

In all your "failsafe" techniques to protect this messageboard, is there a provision against an attack by killer bees?